I started 2012 in the most unlikely place: my parent’s basement.
I had sold my house in 2011 and bought the super modern, super green, super sunny loft condo of my dreams. It was the perfect space, except for the repeated (and repeated, and repeated!) construction delays.
I love my parents and they are completely lovely. But come on now. This was not exactly an easy time.
Luckily, winter 2011-2012 was exceptionally warm and I spent lots of time adventuring outside.
And I learned a lot, like really very much a lot, about my new favourite sport: Extreme Self-Care. So much so that I could win Olympic Gold medals, for sure.
The problem with the condo delays is that there were so damn many of them. It was always “one more month” and “one more month” and “one more month” and so I couldn’t get any traction in any of my business plans because moving was always just on the horizon. And, as much as my parents really did create space for me in their home – I didn’t have quite the right kind of space to operate my business from. I was working out of coffee shops and recording videos for my Advanced Creative Badassery group in my car.
And let’s be honest: it’s very hard to NOT feel like a complete looser when you’re 38 and living with your parents. And I couldn’t find a place to rent because my moving date was constantly changing, and with VERY little notice each time. So I felt pretty stuck.
In 2012 I did a TON of making lemonade out of lemons and finding treasures in the hard.
But I did not move my business forward in 2012 in the way I had hoped to.
I left my job right at the end of 2010 with a fairly ambitious business plan. 2012 saw all of those plans just kind of disappear, bit by bit, with each new delay.
Now, I didn’t move my business forward the way I’d hoped to in 2012 but I also didn’t have the expenses of, well, having a home and place to work out of. So it’s not like this has spelled financial disaster for me or anything. My money from selling my house is still sitting in the bank, waiting for the new condo.
And I have this grace period, of not needing a lot of money, to re-group and make new plans.
What happened, as my old plans fell apart, is that they opened up space for new possibilities. And they taught me SO MUCH about SO MANY THINGS that I wouldn’t have learned about, had everything gone the way I wanted it to.
This is something that happens with Creative Dreaming: You get what you need to get what you want, but not in the ways you expected – because the Universe can always see a biggerbrighter picture for you, than you can see for yourself.
When you are committed to your dream, and taking steps toward it – everything that happens as a response is happening FOR you, and not TO you. I had to spend quite a bit of time reminding myself of that in 2012.
Looking back at 2012, I would say that the universe sent a strong, steady stream of grace my way.
I learned so much! So many unexpected things! And I became a MUCH better mentor and teacher of the inner art of making dreams real because I was forced to be present with my own process in a much more concrete way – one of the many gifts of plans being derailed.
In 2012, in my business I:
- held one session of the Creative Dream Incubator e-course
- re-designed the entire Creative Dream Incubator e-course, transforming it into a Digital DIY kit to make your dream real
- created my Creative With Money Online Playdate (five years in the making and I am SO amazed at how it turned out!) and ran it twice
- moved my blog from abccreativity to creativedreamincubator and gave it a makeover to match
- transformed my Advanced Creative Badassery group into the Creative Dream Circle
- took SIX of my creative magic kits off the shelves, and now give them to you for free when you get the Creative Dream Incubator
- started Creative Dream TV
But, more importantly, in 2012 I spent more time than ever exploring how to stay in that beautiful space of not-being-in-charge-of-the-how while staying firmly connected to the magic of my purpose.
This is still a really uncomfortable place for me to be. I’d much rather create a solid, success-guaranteed real PLAN and then follow it to the letter.
Except that’s not Creative Dreaming. That’s just MAKING things happen. That’s pushing and doing and striving.
Creative Dreaming is opening to possibility and being in the flow of magic and trusting the immense power of your purpose.
It’s so much bigger than making shit happen. And more complicated and frustrating and painful and beautiful.
Some days it’s amazing and perfect and some days it’s really scary.
One of the coolest things that happened in 2012:
In the summer, I was able to get access to the dream loft so I could start using it as a workspace. (If you’re wondering why I couldn’t just move in – it’s a long + stupid story)
I was so happy to have BIG SPACE to DRAW BIG THINGS in. And I drew this:
I made the map using my Create A Map That Leads To Your Dream kit, but the map ended up being a map of the solar system in my inner world.
And the solar system was about to come into this amazing cosmic alignment. Or, re-alignment. It was a coming home to the source of all magic + possibility + love.
It took me days of exploring to understand it all, and once I did I was stunned to see this is the cosmic alignment that happened on Dec 21, 2012.
And, the closer we got to Dec 21 the more upheaval it felt like there was in my inner world.
This has been an intense time of clearing out and re-aligning.
When I am listening to my knowing and wisdom, I know that this is paving the way for a deeper connection to my purpose, spirit, creativity and magic. When I am listening to my inner critics, I worry that this is the beginning of the end, and that I was a fool to believe in dreams and I am a fraud for leading others down this path of destruction.
I know that my inner critics get riled when I’m following my inner compass instead of “doing what people do” and so I am taking this period of upheaval as a very good sign.
2012 was not what I thought it would be but I am grateful for all of it. I am especially grateful for the amazing Creative Dreamers who are sharing this adventure with me in the Creative Dream Circle. That is one thing that TOTALLY ROCKED about 2012: the quality of the people who are joining me in the Circle. Amazeballs. And I can’t wait to explore all of the magic of 2013 with you.
You + Me + Your Dream = Magic. Let’s play together:
If 2013 is your year to make your dream real, I am here to help.
Yes! Let’s play! And giggle, and find secret passageways that lead you right to where you want to be.
Your 2013 is looking brighter already.
PS: Make sure to sign up BEFORE Jan 3 so you can participate in the HELLO 2013 Playdate we’re having in the Creative Dream Circle. It’s going to rock your world in a very good way.