Journaling

Finding the Miracle in a rough Monday Morning.

 

you always have what you need to take your next step

(This is the PLAYBOOK from Dream Lab: Explore The Miracle Of Your Dream – this is my free class, you can sign up here)

You always have what you need to take your next step. This is the miracle of your dream.

But you can’t always see it.

When you can’t see this that usually means you are wrong about what your next step actually is.

And that’s where I’m at this morning.

I keep writing out this explanation of why I’m having such a crappy morning, and then deleting it because it doesn’t matter why.

I’m having a rough morning.

I’m cranky. I can’t get to work – my head just isn’t in it. Like everything I try to do just doesn’t work.

So where is the miracle in this?

I have been wanting to share my own stories with the Dream Lab to show all the unexpected ways you can work with your dream and generate the miracles you need on the path to making your dream real.

I trust the Dream Lab to help me get through any rough patch. But right now I am trapped so tight in this tight spot I don’t see how this is going to work.

I share that to say – you don’t have to always believe that you’re going to triumph! You just have to keep showing up.

So I don’t know what my next step is in this moment.

Luckily I do know what steps I want to take this week – I already had that mapped out.

But this morning I feel incapable of taking those particular steps.

So – what do I do?

I start by meeting with my dream (the practice I teach in the Dream Lab).

My dream is a big marble and the more I look at it the more it grows. It grows into the size of a billiard ball but it’s blue and purple with lights and everything is moving around – it looks like the cosmos.

I sit there not knowing what to do and my dream whispers “Pick me up”

So I hold it in my hands and it’s not a billiard ball anymore. It keeps growing and ends up growing bigger than me, so now I am sitting inside of this cosmos ball.

Oh! My dream wants to offer me a healing.

Being inside this ball feels like I am floating in the universe, getting all filled up with love and trust and magic and then I get the message:

“Oh honey. Everything will happen in the right time. Patience”

And suddenly I know what I need to do.

I need to clean up!

One reason why I am so off this morning is because we were too tired to clean up our camping stuff yesterday so this morning the house was a disaster. In fact, we were also in a rush to get out of the city to go camping so the house was already pretty messy before we went camping. So you can imagine.

I need to do laundry and put stuff away.

I need to clean up as a ritual for creating space in my life for creativity and dreams.

Not just clean up – but clear space with intention.

This will bring me into a more creative and productive space for taking my next steps.

So see what happened there?

My next steps that I have mapped out – the productive creative stuff I want to do this week – are not my actual next steps that I need to take. I was getting all tangled up trying to make myself do stuff I just can’t do right now.

My actual next steps are to take care of myself and my space – to create space to do the work in.

This is how it usually is – when we can’t take our next steps it’s because we are wrong about what our next steps actually are. We’re usually looking too far ahead and not staying present with what needs to happen right here in this moment.

Oh hey!! Tuesday, August 15 we’re having a live Q+A call in the Dream Lab – this is free and open to everyone.

Because this is tricky work and it’s easier when we do it in community.

My aim is to create a call that is inspiring and uplifting both the people who attend live and those who work with the recording.

On the call I’ll lead you through the practice of connecting with the heart and soul of your dream. Then we’ll dig in an explore what’s going on with your dream and what you can do to help it grow.

We’ll have loads of time for Q+A – when I do this work in a group we always have the best discussions so I want to make a lot of space for that.

Of course this call will be most helpful for those who are already working with the practice I teach in the Dream Lab. But for those of you who have been struggling to make time to get into the Dream Lab – listening to this call can be an easier way in.

Again – this is free and open to everyone! But you do have to register.

>>>> Register right here.

in Journaling

Finding the Miracle

This is my continuing explorations of the stress/overwhelm/discomfort I was feeling earlier this week – if you missed those part 1 is here and part 2 is here.

Part 3 on this series on exploring the discomfort - it turns out Calm was the doorway to the miracle I was looking for. The doorway rarely looks the way the we think it should or the way we want it to.

This morning I opened my journal to a blank page.

So – back up a bit – I am doing the Year of Dreams 2017 diligently in my journal, but even still I do not use all of the prompts each week. And that’s ok! It’s meant to give you lots of material to work with, so when I made it I figured everyone wouldn’t do every prompt.

So when I don’t do all of the prompts for one week, I tuck them into the little pocket in the back of my Moleskine journal (I use this one but for the 2018 Year of Dreams I want to go bigger so I just ordered this one)

So this morning I reached into that little pocked and pulled out a sacred geometry drawing filled with the quality of calm.

“Awwww shit” I thought “Calm? Really?” And I rolled my eyes as I glued the calm into my journal.

See I didn’t want calm. I wanted a miracle.

But I have learned to stay in the process even when I don’t like it so I didn’t throw out the calm and pick again like I wanted to.

I started to colour in the calm and do the energy alchemy work to invite it in. (The Year of Dreams program comes with the printable and with energy alchemy processes for working with them)

And then I saw it: of course if calm was my co-worker for today that would probably fix everything.

And as I started to journal about that I realised that if calm was my co-worker every day that would REALLY fix everything.

Calm was the doorway to the miracle I was looking for.

The doorway rarely looks the way the we think it should or the way we want it to.

I kept inviting in the quality of calm, letting it fill me and my schedule and my dreams and goals and plans.

I kept exploring how calm would change things.

At first calm was saying things like I could be more productive if I slowed down and enjoyed the work more.

But as we explored deeper calm showed me that if I would remove all of the deadlines I had assigned my projects and just let things take the time they take (revolutionary!!) not only could I do much better work but I could enjoy the work more AND I could do more to share my process along the way – which is where I have been really stuck lately (although this is my 5th blog post this week so that stuck may be resolved now).

Calm feels that it was inevitable that I would realise that all of the deadlines I am giving myself right now are just ridiculous.

That’s probably right. I usually don’t do deadlines but right now I am feeling pressure from my own muse and dreams.

I don’t usually have this pressure so I am just doing the best I can to work with it.

I do feel like I am moving through some heavy fog and can’t really see where I’m going. So I just re-assess every day, learn a teeny bit more each time I do that, and then carry on. I know I won’t be on the fog forever and that this is an important part of healing, growth and transformation.

You can’t get anywhere new if you stay in territory you already know.

It’s like calm is showing me that I can use this pressure in other ways – like to expand and deepen and not to quicken.

Because pressure can be a helpful energy if you are deliberate and conscious about how you apply it.

I still have to explore exactly what that means and what it looks like in terms of my day to day schedule but holy hell it feels amazing right now.

I mean – I suddenly feel like there is space for everything. Like all of my projects can breathe.

After months of having way more ideas and dreams than I do time and energy this is a miracle.

in Journaling

Exploring What’s Uncomfortable [PART 2]

Yesterday I explored the voice that says “YOU’RE NOT DOING ENOUGH!” and ended up unearthing a really angry, resentful voice. You can read that here.

I ended that post by writing: “But right now I am feeling immense relief to have seen the anger for what it is and have given it some space.

But that’s not the end of the story! Exploring this stuff is a daily practice.

This morning when I meet with the anger it shows up as a candle burning in the darkness.

So, hello candle. How are you today?

“I feel really good that you listened to me yesterday and that when you listened to me it also helped me see the bigger picture a bit better.” The candle is speaking calmly and seems genuinely happy to see me and goes on…

“I was stuck on my resentments about how hard you are working – how exhausted you are most nights and how you’re not going out to play as often as you used to.”

Yeah – you know I don’t think I had acknowledged for myself what a long hard road it’s been lately. I mean I know I’ve been talking about working a lot and being tired but to compare my life this summer to my life the last few summers I see how this looks awful.

But my creative muse has been so awake! And my dreams have been so demanding! And I want to follow them, I want to live in tune with my own truth and I accept that that’s hard sometimes.

I know I love summer and usually work less in summer to enjoy being outside more and that this really fuels me and my dreams.

But thought I was OK with giving that up for one summer – especially considering I am going to Mexico at the end of October so I’ll have a week of full-on summer playtime then.

I did not stop to think that some parts of me may get resentful about “missing” summer right now – or about squishing it into weekends instead of having regular playtime.

“Thank you, I am glad you are acknowledging where I’m coming from. I think a lack of acknowledgement caused me to get petty and get all upset that you were working so hard and not getting any rewards for it. I get it – you are doing this work to do this work and if external rewards will come they’ll come later.”

The candle starts to smile – like it’s a pillar candle and the bottom splits and each side goes up into a smile but then the wax keep stretching into a circle and then forms a ball of light, handing in the darkness.

Then it starts to shine brighter and it’s not so dark anymore.

A few hours after writing my post yesterday, I felt totally liberated.

I was suddenly feeling loads of creative energy flowing. I wasn’t confused about where to direct it I was just in the flow.

It’s amazing how that anger, deep beneath the surface where I couldn’t see or feel it was getting me all tangled up. And it’s amazing how much space was freed inside my by siting that feeling space to express itself.

(If you’re not sure what I mean by that watch the video in the Dream Lab about why this is hard and how it works – if you’re already registered the video is here, if you haven’t registered you can do that here to get your login details sent to you)

So there are blessings and gifts and even miracles in the uncomfortable feelings that come up on the path to a dream.

Sometimes it just takes longer for the blessings to show up but what I have found is that I can get at the blessings faster and faster now – after years of practice.

So where does this leave me today?

I don’t know! Let’s recap: I was feeling confused and overwhelmed.

I spoke with the voice who said I wasn’t doing enough and this voice was really about anger and resentment that needed to be felt so they could flow through.

Now – am I still confused and overwhelmed?

No. I’m looking over my schedule and feeling like there is space to do what I want to do.

Looking at where my projects are at and feeling excited about what I am doing.

I still feel hopeful about having this new program ready to go this fall but also accepting that it may not happen – I want to do my best work, not my fastest work.

Yeah – everything feels calm inside me when I contemplate my work for today so I think I’m good here.

in Journaling

This is a page from the Dream Lab: Explore The Miracle Of Your Dream Playbook (which you can download for free as a part of the Dream Lab class right here)

Exploring what feels uncomfortable about your dream is tricky work so I thought I would share my process today in exploring that voice that says that I AM NOT DOING ENOUGH.

This voice has been getting louder lately.

And I have been assuming it’s because I am in this big creative expansion and I don’t really know where this process is leading me to. I just have so many ideas I want to do them all at once. This part of the creative process is always confusing for me.

I have been assuming this voice comes from my creative process.

But I just remembered – hey! Fears are TRICKY!

They like to dress up as reasonable responses and ideas. They know when they show up as fears they are treated differently than when they show up as reasonable voices.

Oh shit I fell for it.

This voice isn’t a part of this creative expansion I am in.

This voice is a fear that is coming up in response to the creative expansion I am in.

So, ummm, hello voice? Can we talk?

Voice shows up as a GIANT rainbow caterpillar, about 6 feet long, floating about 3 feet in the air, cool as a cucumber and says “Oh sure we can talk”

I stand there for a few minutes, just getting used to being here with the caterpillar.

And I notice that the caterpillar isn’t real. It’s a costume. There is a person standing there wearing a caterpillar tied around their waist.

“So could you take off the costume?”

The caterpillar is furious. They rip off the costume. Now it’s a very angry person.

I shift my weight around a bit, feeling very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

“You want to know why I’m angry?”

“Yes”

  • You work so hard for so little.
  • You’re sharing your heart out there, day after day and people ignore it.
  • You take the work so seriously and no one else takes you seriously.
  • You are not properly seen or understood.

I am feeling bowled over by the intensity of the anger, which I had not noticed was there!

“This is why I have been pushing you to share more do more be more. To get the recognition that you deserve.”

Oh wow.

I struggle to find a balance between acknowledging the voice of anger and also wanting to rush in and remind it of all the good…. that I am not wealthy but have a good life and there are people who listen and take me and my work seriously and that I love my students and my work.

But I know I need to give this anger space. It doesn’t need to be right it needs to be heard.

So I sit down and let my anger know I’ll sit and listen for as long as it wants to talk.

Anger mumbles “Yeah I know actually we have it really good.  We have amazing people in the Circle. We have a fantastic life with enough money to enjoy it.”

Then anger asks “But still, can’t I just be pissed about how hard this is sometimes?”

“Oh of course. How can I help?”

“Well I was thinking if you would just work harder at doing the right things then everything would be easier and I wouldn’t be upset anymore, but now I can see that that’s not right.”

So I say “Right. You’re upset and you need to be heard and respected. Once you have enough space then we’ll know what to do about this.”

OK something is really shifting in my heart. I’m not sure what it is, but this feels like a good spot to stop our meeting and give this a chance to marinate.

This is the mess of exploring the uncomfortable parts! You just don’t know where it’s going to lead.

But right now I am feeling immense relief to have seen the anger for what it is and have given it some space.

in Journaling, Making Dreams Real

Stuff I want to give to the full moon

One of the cool things about my new (free!) Dream Lab class is that it explains, more clearly than I have ever been able to explain before I think, why the inner work of living your dreams is so complex and terrifying at times.

I mean it explains why it’s good when it’s bad and what to do about that, if you know what I mean.

So with that explanation in place and accessible to anyone who wants it I feel like I can write here on a deeper level.

That’s part of why I have felt so stuck lately when it comes to sharing my own process and stories. I worked so hard to create this space to share more deeply and now it’s like... well shit I have to share more deeply.

Usually that moment when a dream comes into reach we realise just how afraid we are of actually having it.

I mean it’s one thing to dream about it and quite another to step up and be that person who does this thing. So that’s where I am.

It’s the full moon tomorrow.

I want to take my step-kids to the park tonight and talk about what we want to give to the moon, so the moon can shrink the things while it shrinks over the next few weeks.

This is what I would like to give to the moon:

  • Feeling debilitated by the overwhelm of having too much on my plate
  • Stress about the problems I have been having with [thing I don’t want to talk about in public]
  • Exhaustion

These are things I can do to help the shrink process along.

Feeling debilitated by the overwhelm of having too much on my plate:

I could check out the million and one blog posts + videos I’ve done about overwhelm on my blog over the years – or just remember that the solution is always to give my feelings space and then get out my journal and map out this too-full plate so I can see everything in front of me instead of having it all float around in my mind.

I can remember that step 1 is a practice that I need to repeat as often as needed – and it’s ok if I already did that yesterday I can do it again today.

Stress about the problems I have been having with [thing]:

The problem is not the [thing] which is manageable it’s the stress I feel about something I learned about the [thing] this weekend.

So what can I do to help shrink the stress?

Exercise is such a good way that works for me except right now I am not feeling up to it because of [thing] which feels exceptionally frustrating.

I could trust in myself to be able to handle what happens in life. Oh! Writing that shows me that this is linked to general fears about getting older and health problems that could develop.

Making space for my feelings and letting it be messy right now feel like the best things I can do with it at this time.

Exhaustion:

Rest.

Daily epsom salt baths.

Good nutrition (I am already ahead of this one – my fridge is full of fresh local farmer’s market produce).

Trusting that I’ll feel less tired when I feel less tired and letting myself be tired right now.

HA. MAKE SPACE FOR MY FEELINGS.

That’s what it call comes back to.

If my feelings feel bigger than usual – then I need to make bigger space.

in Journaling

Journal Parties are free, one-hour creative playdates where we hang out together with our journals and chat. I’ll pick a few journaling prompts to get us started and then we’ll just play together… journaling, chatting, exploring.

The magic of journaling plus the support of community.

Journal parties will happen live online on streaming video. Plus they’ll all be recorded so if you can’t be there live you can journal along with us while you watch the replay.

Even though we’re all in our own homes for this, it’s amazing how we all end up feeling less alone by the end of the hour.

I’ll host them, and each one has a special guest (a journaling teacher that I admire) and *everyone* is invited to play with us!  If you haven’t been to a Journal Party before you can watch replays from past parties right here.

 

Our next journal party is happening August 1 and our special guest is Hali Karla from Hali Karla Arts!

—> Click here to reserve your spot now. (This gets you a spot in the live event plus access to the recording)

Hali is a contemplative artist & guide who loves inviting others into heart-centered presence + growth through holistic creative practice and birth chart explorations.

Hali is a true kindred spirit – you’re going to love her.

—> Click here to reserve your spot now! (This gets you a spot in the live event plus access to the recording)

in Journaling

I’ve been working on my new class (Dream Lab: Exploring The Miracle Of Your Dream) full time for seven weeks. This is insane, in my perspective.

But necessary, in my dream’s perspective.

And I have learned that when my dream and I do not agree it’s always best to do what my dream wants, even when I don’t “get it” because my dream always see the bigger picture.

(Like how it was my dreams that brought me my husband – I was definitely not looking for one but he has sure made my life a lot better)

So this past seven weeks has been about a lot more than planning lessons, recording videos and creating playbooks.  That’s the easy part.

The hard part is the inner work.

See – I am not creating this class just to have a new class.

I mean I don’t even need a new class – this class replaces my Give Your Dream Wings class which is still beloved both by me and the participants – many of whom have written me to ask why I’m replacing such a fantastic class.

I am creating this class because my dreams are pushing me to grow as a creative being – to take my next steps to move towards my creative and spiritual potential.

Your dream is how your soul calls you towards your truth, your authenticity and your full potential.

(This is messy sometimes.)

I’ve been working on a plan to create a whole series of new classes, and the Dream Lab is the foundation for those classes.

So it’s been a big perspective-shift about how I work, how I share my work and what is possible around my work.

And it’s been an opening to more of my own potential and purpose.

And – a bit of an ass-kicking from my dreams, really.

It’s like we’re in this life-long struggle where I think certain things are impossible for me and my dream just laughs and tells me to do it anyway.

I mean – I have been working on this for the past seven weeks.

I never thought I’d be in a position where I would be able to devote myself to exploring a creative project for long stretches of time without worrying about where my income is coming from.

And it’s not like I am super-wealthy, which I had assumed I’d have to be to be able to do something like this. It’s pretty simple – I have steady income from my Creative Dream Circle and I live simply and below my income so I can afford to focus on non-income-generating-work right now since my dream is insisting it’s what I need for my future and I trust my dream.

(And I have found that living simply is actually living much more happily – like I have distilled my life into what really matters to me)

But, back to my story.

My dreams have been wanting me to look at my work from a new perspective and that was hard to do.

So every day I would meet with my dream (the way I taught in the Give Your Dream Wings class, which is also in the new Dream Lab class) and do my best to just listen.

What does my dream want me to know? What is it showing me?

It was so frustrating!

It’s like I was looking through fog – I could just get this vague sense of everything.

And I would brainstorm and mind map and journal and meditate for days and not get any closer to seeing it.

Until, one day, it started to get clearer.

And clearer and clearer and clearer until I could finally see it: the new vision for how I want my work to be.

And that’s when I got to work.

But getting to work meant facing all the details and I could still only see the big picture vision of how I want this all to look.

So I had to keep repeating the process as I explored all of the details of turning this vision into reality.

So I would do the work, then find out more and have to re-do everything I had done.

Over and over.

This is how I work from my depth. By not just doing whatever seems inspiring or obvious to me because that’s working from the surface.

This is why I took the time to go into a deeper connection to the heart and soul of my dream (which is also the heart and soul of my purpose, creativity, authenticity and, well, my own heart and soul). That’s where miracles come from. That’s where magic comes from.

That’s where my best work comes from.

This is how I have created all of my classes – but usually it’s been a smaller/shorter process because I’ve just been doing one thing at a time.

Right now I’m building a new foundation for a whole series of new things – plus a new way of talking about and sharing my work on a daily basis. All of this is connected.

This is my seventh year of doing this work full time.

Of course I was doing it for years while also working an office job to support me financially. But it really changed when this became my full time job.

And the seventh year feels significant because seven is a magic number for me – it’s always felt meaningful to me somehow.

So it feels right that this is the year I start re-building.

I feel good about where this process is taking me – but right now I feel exhausted by the it.

And that’s why I’ve been so quiet – it’s taking everything I’ve got just to stay in this process.

But I am hoping to have the Dream Lab ready to share by the end of this week.

I mean – that’s not a promise because I’m not in charge of this process. But it’s what I am working towards at this point.

On Thursday my husband is going out of town for a work thing – right near my favourite beach.

So I am planning to have the Dream Lab ready by Wednesday night, then go with him on Thursday, drop him off at his work thing and spend the day at the beach: meditating and journaling in my favourite place as a blessing to the Dream Lab and everyone who uses it.

And then on Friday – send it out.

But – again – I am not in charge of this process. That’s my plan. We’ll see what actually happens.

 

in Journaling, Making Dreams Real

I wrote this post in Janaury 2017 and then didn’t post it.

I just found it now, in June 2017 and – holy crap! I don’t remember this. At all. 

This is a post about how I didn’t get what I wanted for my business 2016.

But honestly, this whole year I’ve just been feeling grateful that even though my business has grown slow (by internet marketing standards) it’s grown steady every year. I’m grateful for how sturdy it feels.

In fact, lately I’ve been focused on my bigger long term vision and haven’t been focused on making money right now.

I’ve even accepted that I may make a little less money this year than last year, and that would be totally worth it to have this time to focus on where I want to go with this in the future.

This is the magic of this kind of inner work. The liberation of a truly shifted perspective.

Reading this post I am amazed that I was ever upset about my income from last year.

And that’s exactly the point. When you take the time to process your feelings about the dream you didn’t get – this opens you up to the dream you really want.

Journal Prompts for When you Didn't Get Your Dream

Things do not always go the way you want them to. I mean – you may have noticed that you don’t actually control the universe.

And, especially if  you’re getting out of your comfort zone and going after your dream, you’re going to stumble and fall along the way.

You’re going to go after some dreams and not get them.

Since that’s where I am today, I thought I’d share some helpful journaling prompts for working through it and getting back on the path.

Journal Prompt: How do you feel?

Really dig deep and explore how you’re feeling and write out everything that comes out – you may have a lot of conflicting feelings and that’s good! Get them all on paper in some way.

So I am stuck. I did not get the sales goal I wanted for 2017.

I feel kind of frustrated, in that my business has always grown slower than I have wanted it to.

And yet, when I look at what people do to make businesses grow faster – well I don’t want to do any of that.

And I do make more than enough money!  I mean I got to go to San Francisco and Cancun in 2016, I got to live how I wanted to live. I put money into savings and have no debt other than my mortgage which is over 50% paid for.

I don’t actually need more money.

But for some reason I do want more…

I mean have big dreams for the future that include some things that will cost a lot of money. And I had hoped that this year I could make a lot more than last year, to put myself on track to get there.

Oh wow.

Writing it out like that I see it.

There is no soul in that goal.

I mean yes there is a LOT of soul in what I want to do with this money further down the road but there’s no soul in how I had wanted to get there.

I have no love for growing my business at this point. I have so much love for nurturing what I already have!

So what if I nurture nurture nurture, follow creative instinct and flow and trust the process? I mean that has got me to here, and I love being here.

Journal Prompt: What do you want now?

Now that you’ve vented your feelings and can see things more clearly – Do you still want the same dream? Or is that dream leading you to something else now? You may need some time to explore this one.

I want to chill the fuck out!  I want to not put pressure on myself.

I want to remember how much slow growth has served me. I want to be proud of myself for how I have built this business and the impact it has.

MOSTLY: I want to look to the future with expectancy and delight.

I want to trust myself to handle the stuff that needs handling in order to build the big thing I want to build.

Journal Prompt: What does this situation have to teach you?

This is the biggie!

And this one you want to explore after you’ve had a chance to process your feelings about your dream failing – because there is no such thing as failure!

You have a dream, you set a goal, you do your best to move towards it – what happens as a result either moves you towards your dream or it teaches you what you need to know to move towards your dream.

With each step you learn and you grow and you refine what it is you really want and how you want to get there.

For me? As I write this all out it feels silly to call this past year a failure. I feel more faith that I am moving in the right direction.

What it’s teaching me is to remember to stay in tune with the magic.

And to stay present!

I have this big dream which is a future dream which I can start planning and saving for but I also have to live here in the present and really be here.

But the big thing is: TRUST.

I don’t control the timing of when my dream comes to me (no one does) but I can control how I show up for the process and how long I stay in the process.

Like, I can show up faithfully for my dreams.

I can do my best, right here right now.

And, right here right now, all the frustration I was feeling is gone.  I feel full of trust for myself and for my dreams and for my future.

If there was a failure in this, it was a failure to set the right goal.  But even that was not a failure because I did what I felt called to do and that led me to here – seeing what I need to see.

Sometimes a dream failing puts you on a radically different path.

Thirteen years ago, I had a similar “dream-fail” of not making the money I wanted to make from my creative work.

Except back then I didn’t make the money I needed either, and had to actually give up the artists’ life and go get a job.

That job put me on a new path which led me to where I am today: now celebrating six years of successful self-employment.  In hindsight I can see that the path I was on 13 years ago was NOT going to get me here.

I needed that dream to “fail”.  I needed the things that that job brought me. That’s how I got here.

It’s not the end until you give up.

Some more helpful prompts for exploring + processing the dream you didn’t get:

What went wrong?

Did you do everything you could to make your dream real? EVERYTHING? (There is usually quite a bit of magic and possibility hidden in the places we avoid)

Then the next thing to explore is: What’s next?

Taking all of this into account: how you’re feeling, what you want, what this let-down has taught you – what are you going to do now?

I’m going to celebrate that my business did grow in 2016.

I’m going to let go of wanting more.

I am going to honour my wish to nurture what I have and follow my intuition and creativity about what to do next.

My goal for 2017 will be to feel good in my business. To be proud of me work and how I put my work out there. To push myself to be the best I can. To look towards my future with expectancy and delight.

I will trust myself to do the best job I can to take care of my business and trust my business to grow at the rate that is appropriate to it and not try to push it to look like I think it “should”.

You may need time to grieve your dream that didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped – taking time to grieve in whatever way feels appropriate to you will open up space for your next dream to come to you.

You may need to clean up a mess left by this dream-fail.

You may need more time to find the lesson here.  You may need to cycle through these questions a few times before you find some clarity.

But trust me – it’s not the end until you give up. Keep going.

in Journaling

Hey New Project, Can We Talk?

I feel ridiculous calling you “my new project”. I mean you are so much more than that. But I don’t know what else to call you.

Do you have something you want me to call you?

[crickets]

Right. You don’t care what I call you.

No it’s not that I don’t care. It’s that it isn’t the question for you to focus on right now.

Alright then.

So. I wanted to talk to you today because I feel like I need to bring everything together. I mean I have been journaling with/about you in my huge giant journal and also in my huge art journal and also in my normal Year of Dreams journal and also in the tiny project journal.

project journals

You’re everywhere! I wonder if you are too spread out and I should consolidate.

Well you know that you’re on the right track. And I don’t care which journals you use – that’s more for your own sense of organisation and clarity.  I’m glad you’ve been doing your best to connect with me and create space for me to grow into what I am, instead of your usual pattern of wanting to control and shape what is coming through.

Yeah, I think I am getting better at this part.

Well – you’re ready now. You trust yourself and your work and you’re standing on a firm foundation. You couldn’t have worked in this way until now.  That’s part of why you feel the weight of this new project so heavily – you’re shifting how you work. This is a big deal. You’re opening the door to your best work.

I get the sense that “my best work” is a moving target.

Well of course it evolves as you do.

OK so it makes sense that making space for this project has been such a huge deal. It’s taking so much of my own energy plus it’s making a lot of demands in terms of me changing things up in my business to make space for it.

I am here to help evolve your work, yes.

So now I’m kind of laughing at myself for asking about what to call you. Yes – I have much more important questions to ponder. I’m also seeing how I need to make better use of my energy and not follow the questions that don’t matter.

Like leaving Facebook.

Yeah, feels like that will free up a lot of energy that was just wasted.

It’s not like you’ll take every second you used to spend on Facebook being super productive. It’s more like you’ll be forced to look for higher quality sources of down time.  I mean literally sitting and staring out the window is already a much higher quality way to spend your time – you can feel that already. It opens up possibility, it protects your energy because you’re not being inundated so everyone else’s stuff.

Everything that you already know about holding and using your power. Do that.

Well yeah. I’m excited about finding my next steps with this.

So I guess, when I said “So. I wanted to talk to you today because I feel like I need to bring everything together” I mean – I want to check in and make sure I’m on the right track.

You are.

Because these next steps feel really big. I mean it’s a ton of small steps that need to be co-ordinated together to create this shift.

And as I’ve been sitting with this and exploring all of it I am amazed at how it addresses my needs but also addresses the needs of the people who work with me. Like it makes everything better for everyone -me and the people who engage with my free stuff and the members of the Creative Dream Circle.

It also addresses some of the big shifts I’ve been seeing in how people engage online and I think it will help new people find me without me doing the “business things” that I am not comfortable with. It’s like it’s a way to cut through the noise with vulnerability and authenticity and the actual power of creative energy – instead of being louder or making ridiculous promises to draw people in.

I mean – it’s magic.

Well yeah. That’s how this works. You know that. One idea can serve many different things. These are the kinds of ideas you get when you slow down to listen deeper in the way that you have been these past few weeks.

OK so now I feel more sure that I am on the right path. I guess I wanted to check-in before diving into the “work” part.

I do want to dive into that and just run wild with my creativity while getting all of this work done while trusting that this deeper, quieter, planning work I’ve done has created a strong enough structure to hold and shape my creative flow.

Yup – that’s what I think is going to happen. That work of creating a strong enough structure to hold and shape your creative flow – that’s why you’ve been so exhausted lately. You built a real sturdy thing there, it’s just invisible.

Wow. OK so I’m going to get to work then.

I’m also circling back to my question about the journals – I want to keep this connection to you. So I will do that in my project planning journal. A daily check-in.

That sounds perfect. And again – that’s for YOU, not me. So if you want to change how you do that – that’s cool with me. Do what you need to do to connect to me – I am always here and always open to you.

in Journaling

We’re doing the Hello Day Journal Practice together, every day for 30 days. I’ll share the prompts here on my blog and also on Instagram – where you can join in with pictures of your Hello Day journal, using the hastag #hellodayjournal

I’m using my Hello Day Guided Journal + Coloring Book for this – it has a “Hello Day” doodle to colour and a different prompt for each day. You can get your own copy on Amazon:

USA: Amazon.com | Canada: Amazon.ca | Great Britain: Amazon.uk | Europe: Amazon.de

Or you can play along in your own journal.

Our prompt for Day 30 – I am ready to:

The past 30 days were a journey.  Where did it take you?

What’s next on your path? What are you ready to do now?

This is the thing I love so much about journaling – how the simple act of meeting yourself on the page can bring you to where you need to be.

I hope you have experienced some of that magic too – I know I have really enjoyed sharing this with you!

This is the end of the 30 days but hopefully not the end of your practice!

What parts of the Hello Day Journal Challenge would you like to integrate into your journaling practice?

 

 

in Journaling