Manifest your dream life

Coming Back To The Weekly Dream Status Reports

By / /

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!

I know doing the same prompts every week can be annoying sometimes but this is magically clarifying. The repetition helps you go deeper into the process and makes it easier to LEARN from your process as you go, and the apply those learnings right away. This weekly practices helps me learn so much more, even when I'm just stumbling around trying to find my next steps.

Here are the prompts:

PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)

My dream is:  

I want it because: 

When I have it I will feel:

PART TWO:

Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

PART THREE:

My goal/wish/intention for this New Moon is:

Last week’s focus was:

What happened in the last week?

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

What do I need now?

What does my dream need now?

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

My Dream Status Report for this week:

PART ONE: 

My dream is: This one doesn't want to be shared

I want it because: It feels supportive of all the other things I want.

When I have it I will feel: Free - and I feel free now but it feels like I would feel more free somehow.

PART TWO: 

Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

My dream is a hard with wings, but it's so far away.

I'm kind of wishing for it to come closer, wondering what I need to do to connect with it, then suddenly I get a sense that it's really sharp and could hurt me. Is it staying away to protect me? Why would it hurt me?

I sit with this a while and it starts to feel like the sharpness isn't about the dream, it's just my own fear.

I think about the parts of me that are afraid of getting what I want. I consider the things they are afraid of.

Then the dream (heart with wings) comes closer and I can touch it and it is soft and cozy. Nothing to be afraid of.

And the dream shows me all the ways it already IS here. This feels really hard to describe, but it's like my dream was showing me the things I am doing that are helping me BE in that energy and it feels really good and reassuring.

PART THREE:

Last week’s focus was: Getting "back into it" after the holidays

What happened in the last week? 

I started a new year-long project: exploring my resistance! I am doing this mostly on my own, but will share updates periodically. I started a "wiki" in Notion to store my notes I write about it, so I can tag things in different ways ("little steps along the way" "important things I learn" "journal prompts to explore", etc). I don't know how to use the Wiki template I have in Notion, so a bunch of parts of it don't quite work, lol! BUT I feel like I will figure it out in time OR look at a tutorial at some point. Until then I can just add notes to it and I love that everything is stored in one place. I am also journaling about it in my various journals, but wen something feels "noteworthy" I add it to Notion.

(This is the same way the Table of Contents works in Dream Book! And I could have added this resistance project to the Table of Contents, but I wanted to do it digitally)

There is a "new vibe" I am going for with my daily posts this year and I had hoped to sort it all out in December and be DOING IT starting January 1 and I am not there. But I am showing up every day and working on it!

I do struggle getting back into routine after being out of routine, and as much as I tried to not have the holidays impact my routines they definitely did. So probably next week I'll REALLY be back into routines.

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

The big thing I realized from my resistance project is that I don't want to GO BACK to where I was in 2019, even though that's the best model I have of how I am when I'm really IN my routines and being creatively productive.

I want to figure out what GOING FORWARD even means, and then do that. This feels so exciting!

AND dovetailing with: settling into single life, being over the worst (I hope!!) of the grieving/upset of the breakup, appreciating the freedom and calm in my life and the new possibilities ahead of me. Another area where I am consciously GOING FORWARD and instead of looking backward.

What do I need now?

I set big goals for myself to GO FORWARD towards this year. And I am working on building the habits, structures and routines that will help me get there.

STRUCTURE is a big one, the ways I structured things in my work pre-pandemic are not how I am doing it now. This last week I feel I made some big progress and I need to stay with this. I need TONS of structure (that feels supportive, not oppressive)

What does my dream need now?

It really wants me to see the places where I am afraid of it, to remember that it's actually soft and cuddly and doesn't want to hurt me.

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

Wow I feel so much resistance to picking something. This heaviness in my chest and sense of annoyance coming over me.

I just sit with it and eventually think: well, I am still settling in. That's my focus. And that feels good.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

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Making more space[Weekly Dream Status Report]

By / /

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!

I know doing the same prompts every week can be annoying sometimes but this is magically clarifying. The repetition helps you go deeper into the process and makes it easier to LEARN from your process as you go, and the apply those learnings right away.

This weekly practices helps me learn so much more, even when I'm just stumbling around trying to find my next steps.

Here are the prompts:

PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)

My dream is:  

I want it because: 

When I have it I will feel:

PART TWO:

Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

PART THREE:

My goal/wish/intention for this New Moon is:

Last week’s focus was:

What happened in the last week?

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

What do I need now?

What does my dream need now?

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

My Dream Status Report for this week:

PART ONE: 

My dream is: I had a big realization about this this week. I have been way too vague and all over the place thinking about everything I want. It's time to focus in one one specific thing. I want to write more about this next week.

I want it because: I feel ready.

When I have it I will feel: Optimistic and free.

My new moon intention: Self Care and Structure. Making space for progress on projects.

PART TWO: 

Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

OMG it's like the clouds parting and then arms, made of clouds, reaching down and lifting me up and putting me in my dream. I love it.

PART THREE:

Last week’s focus was: ENJOY being in the process.

What happened in the last week? 

I worked more on organization, structure and routine. Every week I take steps with this. This week it really hit me how I don't want to/can't "go back" to when I was at my best in this part of my life. Too much has changed. I need to explore: what is possible here?

I made some big progress re-organizing my project management app (Notion) which, over time, I had started using more as a to-do list. I got bigger projects organized in there better and am using it to help me get into good routines.

It's so important that we SHOW UP for creative work and for our dreams. And some days it feels so hard to do that. Dreaming is so vulnerable, it takes so much energy, of course it's hard sometimes. So I was focusing on supporting myself to just keep showing up. Because most of the time if I connect with my dream in some way, do some journaling, and get set up - the magic happens! I get into the flow.

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

I am learning that a lot of the things I HAD learned about what helps me be creative and brave may not apply to my self, and my life, today. This feels really significant and expansive. I can find NEW ways that work for who I am now instead of trying so hard to "get back" to how I used to be.

What do I need now?

As always - more time for meditation + journaling.

Last week I realized that one part of my resistance to this is I've been working with dreams that are too vague. They needed to be vague at first but it's definitely time to narrow in and focus more specifically on something. This makes it easier to know where to start, because there are less parts. I meant to write more  about this this week and didn't, but that's still on my list.

What does my dream need now?

I feel resentful about this question today. Like I am full up taking care of myself! Even though I know that dreaming is a function of healing, so this is to my benefit.

And I feel like I am doing so much for my dream so this week I'll just focus on what I need.

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

Focus, more space for meditation + journaling.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

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ENJOYING the process [Weekly Dream Status Report]

By / /

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!

I know doing the same prompts every week can be annoying sometimes but this is magically clarifying. The repetition helps you go deeper into the process and makes it easier to LEARN from your process as you go, and the apply those learnings right away.

This weekly practices helps me learn so much more, even when I'm just stumbling around trying to find my next steps.

Here are the prompts:

PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)

My dream is:  

I want it because: 

When I have it I will feel:

PART TWO:

Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

PART THREE:

My goal/wish/intention for this New Moon is:

Last week’s focus was:

What happened in the last week?

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

What do I need now?

What does my dream need now?

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

My Dream Status Report for this week:

PART ONE: 

My dream is: I had a big realization about this this week. I have been way too vague and all over the place thinking about everything I want. It's time to focus in one one specific thing. I want to write more about this next week.

I want it because: I feel ready.

When I have it I will feel: Optimistic and free.

My new moon intention: Self Care and Structure. Making space for progress on projects.

PART TWO: 

Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

I see myself. Sitting on a couch in a coffee shop, journaling. I can just tell I am super focused and there is this energy of being really powerful. I feel " I GOT THIS"

PART THREE:

Last week’s focus was: Remember the magic.

What happened in the last week? 

This was such a good week! While of course I had a lot of different feelings, most of the week I felt really happy and inspired.

It was a super productive week, but I feel like I made a lot of inner progress in terms of really aligning with my dream.

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

I feel so optimistic.

What do I need now?

Settle into the routines and structure that I have been working on this last little while. I want to really ENJOY being in the process.

What does my dream need now?

My dream just smiles at me and is really happy about everything I am doing.

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

ENJOY being in the process.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

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[Weekly Dream Status Report]

By / /

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!

I know doing the same prompts every week can be annoying sometimes but this is magically clarifying. The repetition helps you go deeper into the process and makes it easier to LEARN from your process as you go, and the apply those learnings right away.

Here are the prompts:

PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)

My dream is:  

I want it because: 

When I have it I will feel:

PART TWO:

Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

PART THREE:

My goal/wish/intention for this New Moon is:

Last week’s focus was:

What happened in the last week?

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

What do I need now?

What does my dream need now?

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

My Dream Status Report for this week:

PART ONE: 

My dream is: Being the artist + writer I want to be. For a while now a lot has been shifting around how much/what kind of art I want to make and working on creating more nourishing/robust/lively local creative community. Daily routines that help me feel creative and energized.

I want it because: I feel excited about it!

When I have it I will feel: Optimistic and free.

My new moon intention: Healing and expansion.

PART TWO: 

Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

It's me! Wearing my lavender dress with the rainbow embroidered on it. And I can tell I am my Dream Self. Flowy and happy and optimistic and powerful. It feels like I have SO MUCH SPACE INSIDE.

Holding this feeling with me.

PART THREE:

Last week’s focus was:Cultivate a sense of aliveness, creative magic and optimism for my future.

What happened in the last week? 

We got another BIG piece of good news about my step-son's health. He could be out of the hospital in as little as a week, though he'll need recovery time at home still, and the thing he likely needs in the new year will be a simple procedure. Such a relief.

And my relationship with Joseph keeps shifting. When we split up I wanted to see this as a transition and not an ending. But then a few weeks in of course it felt like an ending, I think a time of separation is needed to change such a close bond. But now it's starting to feel like a transition, something new is feeling possible there.

I'm thinking a lot about the state of the world and how important it is to not fall into despair and freeze or avoid in response. How it's not enough to want or pray for or visualize peace and a better world for everyone, we need to take action. There are things all of us can do. No one person can fix anything but together we can create a completely different world.

But also thinking about how natural it is that we DO go into frozen or avoidant states.

And feeling a little angry about how so much of the new age/wellness/coaching worlds are staying so stringent about spiritual bypass and unconsciously leaning into personal privilege and just generally not being a part of any kind of real solution.

And appreciating the ways I try to be different while and knowing that this anger is an arrow pointing to my next steps.

I guess, with so much happening in my life I've been retreated and maybe I am ready to look at un-retreating a little?

 

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

I feel kind of amazed. I know that really staying with your feelings, giving them space to express so you can really listen to yourself is healing and magic but the amount of healing and magic I've been experiencing feels overwhelming. But I think I am too much "in process" to really know what I am leaning.

What do I need now?

It's the STRUCTURE and ROUTINES that have been so helpful for me. I need to keep it up. Every week I feel like this gets sturdier.

What does my dream need now?

I just get this sense of FEELING IT, like doing what I need to do to really be in my element.

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

Remember the magic.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

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Aliveness, creative magic and optimism for my future.[Weekly Dream Status Report]

By / /

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!

I know doing the same prompts every week can be annoying sometimes but this is magically clarifying. The repetition helps you go deeper into the process and makes it easier to LEARN from your process as you go, and the apply those learnings right away.

Here are the prompts:

PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)

My dream is:  

I want it because: 

When I have it I will feel:

PART TWO:

Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

PART THREE:

My goal/wish/intention for this New Moon is:

Last week’s focus was:

What happened in the last week?

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

What do I need now?

What does my dream need now?

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

My Dream Status Report for this week:

PART ONE: 

My dream is: Being the artist + writer I want to be. For a while now a lot has been shifting around how much/what kind of art I want to make and working on creating more nourishing/robust/lively local creative community. Daily routines that help me feel creative and energized.

I want it because: It feels right in my heart.

When I have it I will feel: Optimistic and free.

My new moon intention: Healing and expansion.

PART TWO: 

Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

I see a drawing with lots of colour, I am focused on this wheel with bands of different colours. The wheel, or the drawing?, suddenly grows arms and takes my hands. Sitting here, I hold out my hands for my dream to hold. It says "This is your new life. It's alive"

It feels like a lot gets lost in translation of those words, I am focusing on this feeling of aliveness and creative magic in me.

PART THREE:

Last week’s focus was: Making my creative dream practice IRRESISTIBLE.

What happened in the last week? 

I thought making my practice IRRESISTIBLE would be about... I don't know, lighting candles and making ti feel like an adventure? But it was about planning, lol! Planning the day the day before. Waking up knowing what I am doing, having a clear focus. That got me INTO the practice and once I was there, the magic of being with my dreams was irresistible enough.

When it comes to HOW I am showing up - my routines, structures and habits - this week I was FINALLY feeling like I did before the pandemic! I have dreamed of this for so long!

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

The big learning, which I learn and teach again and again, is that it's the TINIEST steps that help the most. You can take a tiny step and be very grounded in it, which makes it easier to take the next tiny step, and they do add up. I feel now like that last few weeks I was trying to take too big a step and couldn't get grounded and kept falling on my face. This week I feel amazed by how far the tiny steps got me.

What do I need now?

Right now, as I write this, I feel so optimistic and sure of my future. I would really like to hold onto this.

I know it's the epic self care that's got me here, so I need to keep it up.

What does my dream need now?

To hold onto that sense of aliveness and creative magic.

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

Cultivate a sense of aliveness, creative magic and optimism for my future.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

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🤯 I can just NOT BLOOM. For as long as I want. This is creative dreaming too.

By / / ,

This is my Thanksgiving cactus.

The blooms are so precious to me, this orange flower with a hot pink centre. 

But it would just have one bloom each year.  It would grow new branches, but they would always fall off. It never got any bigger. 

Until this last year. It grew new branches. And they stayed. And grew more. And then last week it started really blooming.

And I was like WHOA. I CAN DO THAT TOO.

I can just NOT BLOOM. For as long as I want.

I can rest.

I can let things fall apart.

I can try to grow. And fail. And try again.

And it’s fine. It doesn’t mean anything about my worth or my potential or my ability to bloom again when I choose to.

This didn’t feel defeatist or anything like that. It felt like pure freedom.

Successful Creative Dreaming is NOT about unbridled ambition and non-stop success.

It’s about listening to yourself about how you live your life, and creating a life that feels true to you.

This will always include TENDING. Tending to the fears and self doubts and hurts and just… all the feelings that come with being human.

Creative Dream Alchemy is using your dream as a guiding light, to guide you through all of that. THROUGH. Not around. Not some secret shortcut you find by avoiding your feelings. THROUGH.

In my own Creative Dream practice I’ve been working through layers and layers and layers of resistance. Sometimes we just have to do this before we get to the good stuff.

In Creative Dream Alchemy we always take the same approach. When you connect with your dream, notice what’s there.

Do you feel frustrated about something that is stuck? Are you disappointed that things didn’t work out? Do you just want to think about something else and you’re not sure why it’s so uncomfortable? Do you have an inspiring new idea? Do you want to get to work on making the thing?

It doesn’t matter WHAT is there, all that matters is that you be with that thing. Uncomfortable or not. Wanted or not. That thing is your next step and facing it WILL lead you towards where you want to be.

Every time.

So. Last week it was embarrassing to keep sharing how often I got stuck, but I kept doing it.

And this week I feel a lot less stuck.

I feel like - yeah I’m not exactly blooming right now, but there are some really interesting things happening with my roots so that’s where I am focused.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

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Making it IRRESISTIBLE [Weekly Dream Status Report]

By / /

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!

I know doing the same prompts every week can be annoying sometimes but this is magically clarifying. The repetition helps you go deeper into the process and makes it easier to LEARN from your process as you go, and the apply those learnings right away.

Here are the prompts:

PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)

My dream is:  

I want it because: 

When I have it I will feel:

PART TWO:

Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

PART THREE:

My goal/wish/intention for this New Moon is:

Last week’s focus was:

What happened in the last week?

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

What do I need now?

What does my dream need now?

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

My Dream Status Report for this week:

PART ONE: 

My dream is: Being the artist + writer I want to be. For a while now a lot has been shifting around how much/what kind of art I want to make and working on creating more nourishing/robust/lively local creative community. And right now I am in this liminal space after separating from my husband, so my dreams for this fall and winter are to really BE IN this space, and call in: quiet, calm, healing, space for all the feelings, serious self care, and lots of art projects. And I am also dreaming of having more structure and focus in my work life. Feeling clear about HOW I want to do things (I already know WHAT I want to do)

I want it because: Divorce is a new beginning. Of course there are a lot of uncomfortable feelings being stirred up but there are also all these new possibilities and I want to explore them, I want to explore who I can be next.

When I have it I will feel: Right now, because everything feels unsettled and uncertain, I'd love to feel a sense of stability.

My new moon intention: Healing and expansion.

PART TWO: 

Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

My dream just feels so far away this morning. My heart feels sad. My dream is vague.

Then I feel a can don my shoulder and my dream says "lay down" and I'm like "No I'm sitting with my laptop doing this, I know these prompts are going to help me, I want to do this" and my dream insists that this is the way to do that, so I lay down.

As soon as I do, my dream becomes a dome of healing light, protecting me.

And it says "You are doing all of your worse habits right now, and that's understandable - you need to make some good habits more IRRESISTIBLE."

PART THREE:

Last week’s focus was: Focus on self care. Work on creating the lists/structure/organization that make it easier to also do the things I want to do.

What happened in the last week? 

I am SO grateful for these weekly check ins. This feels so clarifying and supportive.

This wasn't a great week. I was really working on creating the structure I feel I need, and it's like I failed at every turn.

In hindsight, I can look back and see where I was focusing too much on the outer aspects and not enough on the inner. So all this trying and failing has me starting with a new idea: to create structure around showing up for my creative dream practice. What would make this easier?

Because I am scrolling too much and it's not good for me. But it's like my mind is desperate to avoid all the stress. And the work I want to do take so much presence and focus - that feels challenging and so I just avoid.

In the dome of healing I saw that I should start a new embroidery project. Have a thing I can sit down and work on, and be in that creative space instead of scrolling.

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

I'm frustrated that everything is moving more slowly than I want it to.

I'm frustrated with my own body and mind for needing what they need instead of being where I want them to be.

What do I need now?

To be patience with myself. Ugh.

What does my dream need now?

For me to BE in the healing cocoon.

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

So before answering this I went back into the meditation with the healing dome. I ended up falling asleep for 20 minutes and woke up feeling SO MUCH BETTER.

My focus for the next week is to work on making my creative dream practice IRRESISTIBLE.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

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Really stuck today

By / / ,

I shared the post yesterday about exploring the pit of despair - I actually did that inner work in my practice last week, I just ran out of days to share it last week.

After that exploration, I had a bunch of really good days. I felt creative and powerful. I had some really good days, I felt like I made a lot of progress creatively... and now today is a bad day again.

I am so stuck today.

I don’t know why. I’m avoiding everything I want to be doing.

I have theories - that my nervous system is kind of shot and I just need a rest day. That I’m never very creative if I don’t get exercise and get out of the house in the morning and I am in the house today.

But it also feels like there’s something that I am not seeing.

So let’s go to the Un-Sticking Station.

I’m listening to it and I have SO MUCH RESISATNCE.

There is a part of me who just wants to be STUCK. Who wants to REVEL in being stuck.

I don’t want to be in the bubble of creativity, light and knowing in the meditation.

I want to lay on the floor and not move. I want to wail about how I can’t do the things I want to do.

I stay with the meditation but VERY half-heartedly.

The stuck shows up as snake around my shoulders and I notice that my shoulders are very tense.

Hi snake. What do you need?

To lay on the floor. Let’s lay down.

I lay down on the carpet. It’s a sunny day and I’m right in a sunbeam.

Oh yeah, this feels good, doesn’t it?

Well it does, but doing the things I wanted to do would feel good, too.

What if today isn’t a day for that?

I can’t keep not doing these things! I need to pay for our life! I need to do my work. Also I WANT to do the things I want to do!

The snake sees how stressful this is for me.

OK I have to admit I stopped this and went to scroll Facebook. I have SO MUCH RESISTANCE.

I’m back with the snake.

The snake really wants me to feel the feeling of the sun, feel warmed and comfortable in my body…

And then I start crying. 

And the snake slithers away saying - crying is flow. You’re in the flow now.

I have to remind myself sometimes: there were days like this before, too.

Pursing your dreams IS facing your fears and uncertainties and all the thing you would much rather avoid.

Some days are like this. Some day are crying on the floor.

This is a part of the work, too.

I hate it, but I keep sharing these days here because they happen to everyone who is showing up for their dreams. Only the people who avoid their dreams entirely can avoid ever having days where everything feels stuck.

 

Come dream with us

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

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Exploring The Pit Of Despair

By / / ,

This is continued from last week's post on Why is it PAINFUL to figure out how to have more STRUCTURE?

 

Now I’m back, as The Uncertain Despair Expert to see what I can maybe do with this foundation full of despair, so that we can create safe working conditions to build a safe, sturdy and supportive structure.

I’m wearing a blazer and a hard hat.

The little green being construction worker is here. 

Oh course I’m here, this worksite is my job. I’m here every day.

But until we can clear the despair, your only job is to ward everyone away from this place?

That’s right. Keeping everyone safe.

OK well I’m going in.

I sit at the end of the site, with my feet resting on the foundation that could, at any moment, give away to despair.

I remind myself I can lift my feet at any time and get out of despair. I breathe. I'm safe. It's ok.

Once I feel grounded and ready, I push my feet into the ground, which is soft and malleable, I can see how easy it would be to slip beneath it, right into despair.

I’d like to send a camera down there to check things out but I know what I have to do.

This is where I stopped journaling.

I just stayed with it, imagining going underneath the surface, right into the despair.

I felt all the feelings.

Which triggered lots of other feelings.

And the whole thing felt like a nightmare.

But I knew that if I avoided these feelings, I’d be avoiding the ability to get organized to do the things I want to do in the ways I want to do them.

So I stayed with it and eventually drew a map of how it felt:

That one at the bottom - is this endless? - sparked a lot of fear.

And the rest of the day really sucked, but the next day, and ever since, I've been feeling so much clearer. And, step by step, I have been putting a new structure in place for how I want to do things.

 

Come dream with us

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

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Still trying to get organized over here

By / / ,

Our Structure Habits Routines call last week was so magical and I am so inspired and motivated to create nourishing structure in my life that is ENJOYABLE in the moment and also SUPPORTIVE in the process of moving towards where I want to be.

AND

I am procrastinating like a procrastination CHAMP this morning.

At one point, I had finally gathered all the things I needed to do what I want to do here, and then just walked away from my desk and started walking around.

I've often said that "I need to get organized before I can do the things I want to do" isn't really about organization or disorganization, that there's something else going on there.

Just like procrastination, itself, isn't a problem it's more a sign of something else.

And as I write these things, my chest tightens up. There is something I am afraid of and if I could just avoid getting organized then I could also avoid feeling this fear.

My tight chest says "Let's go lie down and scroll through reels!"

Every other part of me knows that's not the path to where I want to be.

I'll start by naming, clearly, what I want to do:

I want to make this week's "Dream Book/Bullet Journal Hybrid" page. This is a new thing I am experimenting with and new things, where I don't know what I am doing, are hard!

Oh! Naming that problem as a hard thing actually reduces the pressure.

Reminding myself: this is a new thing, OF COURSE I don't know what I am doing, so how about giving myself permission to do it badly?

Pressure reduces again.

How about reminding myself that I WANT to do this by naming the things I hope to receive from it?

I want how I feel so calm and capable when I have a plan for each week. I don't need to follow it to a T or anything but just having it all written down, IN HAND WRITING, is such a calming experience for me.

I want how I feel so inspired when I connect with my dreams, hopes, and wishes while planning my week.

I love how I feel POWERFUL when I create a plan that feels just right.

I love the clarity of knowing what I want to do and how I want to do it.

And I love the satisfaction of flipping through my planner and seeing all these messy pages.

OK I am feeling it.

 

 

 

Come dream with us

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

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Dreams are supposed to fall apart sometimes

By / / ,

Me this weekend by the river - fall is so beautiful even though everything is falling apart. What if we are beautiful when we are falling apart, too?

It’s almost two months since my marriage fell apart.

It’s almost six weeks that my step-son has been in the hospital with a very sudden and life-threatening illness.

It’s been a lot.

My step-son has been getting more stable the last few weeks. When I saw him on Friday, for the first time since this started he talked about leaving the hospital and catching up with his life. After so many weeks of only talking about how painful and scary this all was, that was such a relief. The end is in sight. Not that there won’t be complications - this is going to change his life in big ways and there is still a long road ahead, but still - after all this time with all these unknowns, we can see the road ahead.

Which means I have some more emotional bandwidth to face the fact that my marriage fell apart.

Saturday morning I baked a pie pumpkin, and the seeds. Then I blended it up with oats, water, brown sugar syrup and pumpkin pie spice to make a creamy pumpkin spice blend to add to coffee or tea.

The house smelled amazing.

While the pumpkin baked I worked on a puzzle.

It was soooo quiet. 

And I’ve been thinking about how this marriage was a dream come true.

The relationship we had was healing and nurturing and playful and all the things I wanted. 

And I’ve been thinking about how dreams don’t always last forever. I mean they can’t all last forever. We can’t have everything, always!

And I’ve been thinking about how our dreams need us to TRUST THEM even when they look and feel nothing like what we thought we wanted. Even when they fall apart completely.

That following our dreams leads us in the right direction. And that the goal is not to never be unhappy or to always have a “perfect life” whatever that means.

The goal is aliveness. And wholeness.

Our dreams always want us to grow into who we really are.

And as much as my marriage did help me do that, for so long, now that it’s gone I can see that there is so much more potential for growth, here where I am, by myself.

I mean I am far from alone, but you know what I mean. After having such a close emotional bond with someone, to lose that relationship feels like loosing a limb, it’s a lot to adjust to.

I had therapy last week. My therapist noted that usually the things I turn to to help me process and heal are more creativity focused, and now they are more sensory focused.

I am really IN my body.

I have been making space in my body to process all of this. I am breathing deeper than I knew was possible. I mean, I have meditated for 30 years, I thought I knew deep breathing! 

I didn’t know deep breathing, not like this.

This weekend, there were times when I felt more peace than I’ve ever felt in my life. The kind of peace that comes from embodiment, not from having a peaceful life.

I think we try so hard to force our lives into the shapes that we think will make us happy and bring us peace but life is always life-ing.

And the world is a brutal place. I have not been ignoring the news, but I have been having big firm boundaries with it because I just can’t right now. But I know the world is far from peaceful.

And still. I feel this sensation of peace in a deeper way than I ever have before. Sometimes. I am also feeling lots of other things.

And beneath it all, a growing sense of trust that I am on the right path.

This is what our dreams are for - to lead us along our healing journey.

And as a part of that - dreams WILL fall apart. Dreams WILL make a huge mess in your life. Dreams WILL HURT sometimes.

It’s all a part of it.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

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The gifts of resistance [Weekly Dream Status Report]

By / /

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!

I know doing the same prompts every week can be annoying sometimes but this is magically clarifying. The repetition helps you go deeper into the process and makes it easier to LEARN from your process as you go, and the apply those learnings right away.

Here are the prompts:

PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)

My dream is:  

I want it because: 

When I have it I will feel:

PART TWO:

Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

PART THREE:

My goal/wish/intention for this New Moon is:

Last week’s focus was:

What happened in the last week?

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

What do I need now?

What does my dream need now?

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

My Dream Status Report for this week:

PART ONE: 

My dream is: Being the artist + writer I want to be. For a while now a lot has been shifting around how much/what kind of art I want to make and working on creating more nourishing/robust/lively local creative community. And right now I am in this liminal space after separating from my husband, so my dreams for this fall and winter are to really BE IN this space, and call in: quiet, calm, healing, space for all the feelings, serious self care, and lots of art projects. And I am also dreaming of having more structure and focus in my work life. Feeling clear about HOW I want to do things (I already know WHAT I want to do)

I want it because: Divorce is a new beginning. Of course there are a lot of uncomfortable feelings being stirred up but there are also all these new possibilities and I want to explore them, I want to explore who I can be next.

When I have it I will feel: Right now, because everything feels unsettled and uncertain, I'd love to feel a sense of stability.

My new moon intention: Healing and expansion.

PART TWO: 

Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

It's a gentle, warm light. Feels soothing and reassuring.

PART THREE:

Last week’s focus was: I don't want to leave that "tap into the healing powers of glowing radiance" (from the week before) behind. I want that to be the "theme" or guiding light of being more committed to my practice, and going deeper into it. The words feel clunky but I feel how it feels and will follow that feeling.

What happened in the last week? 

This was a hard week. SO MUCH RESISTANCE. SO MUCH FEAR. My step-son has been in the hospital for 5 weeks, it was such a shock when it happened, on top of the shock of my husband leaving, this week I feel like I started to accept a lot of this "like ok this is where we are". And then the state of the world being so heartbreaking too.

Though yesterday was a great day and I looooooved the Structure Habits Routines call we did, it felt so healing and helpful.

Oh! And I re-arranged my studio again. The last re-arrangement only felt good for a short time and I realized that I needed to move things around again. This re-arrangement feels much more spacious.

We got so creative about how we create structure and routine during that call. And then in the re-arrangement I was trying to figure out where to put my printer (the old place didn't make sense now) and I was going to put it in this place where I had my perfume. And it's like - why is my perfume even here? And where does my perfume want to be?

Well, my perfume wants to be on my new Dream Altar! Then whenever I go put it on, I connect with the soul of my dream and put on WITH INTENTION (beyond "I love this scent and want to smell like it all day"). Still working out the details, but making "putting on perfume" a part of connecting with my dreams and my intentions for the day feels really good.

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

I did SO MUCH WORK with resistance and fear and here I am, having moved a lot of that. Everything feels lighter and more possible.

Also, all this work on structure, habits and routines had me wondering why I feel so lost in all of this - well I see it now - my spouse left. So much of my structure, habits and routines were connected to him. Of course it's daunting to re-build ALL OF IT at once. And it's also freeing to re-build it all in a way that suits only me and considers only my needs and preferences.

What do I need now?

Two weeks ago I wrote: Focus on self care. Work on creating the lists/structure/organization that make it easier to also do the things I want to do.

This is still the same. I am making progress but everything is a mess and it's taking the time it takes. And I am making progress around accepting that it's a mess.

What does my dream need now?

I go back into the meditation and the warm light of my dream envelops me in a hug. My dream just wants to support me.

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

Focus on self care. Work on creating the lists/structure/organization that make it easier to also do the things I want to do.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

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Why is it PAINFUL to figure out how to have more STRUCTURE?

By / / ,

This month we did 2 calls about structure, one for the Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice series and one more general one.

I hadn't planned it that way - themes for the marketing calls come out of what people bring up on the calls. But it also happens that this month I am really working on structure.

This morning my practice was journaling. I went to a coffee shop with my journal to just explore. I know I want to be more structured, I know my routines and habits need an upgrade (hey there is the Habits Upgrade call if you’re looking at this too).

But with so much change and uncertainty in my life right now, this is all really hard for me to figure out.

I’d been avoiding doing this for a while, which is why I specifically took my journal out for coffee this morning.

And I made some good progress! Just getting everything out of my head and onto the paper it started to feel more clear.  

Until I got to the part about structure in my business.

I started by exploring the idea of a organized and structured content schedule, which I have done in the past, but it felt sooooo uncomfortable.

So them I thought about - what if I just had different types of content I create, and then each week pick 3 of them or something like that?

That also got reallllly uncomfortable.

So, I’m taking the discomfort into the Un-Sticking Station.

First, I want to note that I feel the discomfort in the back of my head. It almost feels dangerous, like if I look at this more deeply I could damage my brain.

So I invite the discomfort in and it’s a little green being, standing in front of me.

Yeah, no, we can’t do this. (It has the voice of a stereotype of a male construction worker from New York City)

How come?

Oh super unsafe. We got structural problems here.

Structural problems? But I literally wrote “structure” at the top of this journal page, like I want to create a good structure.

No, you’ve got a bad structure.

Yeah. I mean I know that. I don’t really have ANY structure and I want it to be sturdy, safe, and supportive.

No it’s not safe to look at this.

Not safe to even LOOK? I mean that feels suspicious.

I mean I can’t help but see this interesting contract here. A construction worker would want to build a safe, solid structure. But the stereotypical man would want to avoid feelings at all costs, and may even believe that they are unsafe.

And there isn’t a way to build this structure without understanding why I have so many feelings about this.

I look back at the little green being.

Listen lady what can I tell you? It’s not safe. Work is at a standstill.

I am getting frustrated. I know damn well work is at a standstill.

How do we get back to work?

The little green being looks stumped. He actually looks sad.

This feels like a real conundrum.

We want the safe, sturdy structure but to get there, we have to build the structure without a structure. Is that why it’s so hard to get back to work?

He shows me - if you step on the foundation, you could slip at any time.

What would you slip into?

I lean over and look.

It seems like despair?

Oh lady, it’s a whole mess of feelings. We don’t want to get anywhere near any of it.

So you think we need to just never build here, ever? Like leave a sign for future generations to never build here either?

That seems extreme.

Maybe we need a despair expert?

Not someone’s who can help us avoid falling into despair, but someone who can get in there and clear it out?

Oh I’ve never heard of anyone doing that. The little green being is getting more uncomfortable.

I think they don’t work in the trades.

I think actually it might be me. That might be my job.

(Note: I typed that “might me by job” like my fingers couldn’t even claim this work)

This feels really different than it did when I started. I think I will leave it here, and make a date to look at the despair problem again.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

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Resistance and Learning As You Go

By / / ,

I have so much resistance today

I want to lay in bed and read books.

But it’s not like - I genuinely don’t want to show up for my practice.

It’s like - there is a lot of discomfort all around.

So I am using the process For When You Are In Resistance.

And I want to say - I am the person who made this library of creative dream alchemy processes. I am the person who said “just do the thing that’s in front of you to do” which means - if you feel resistance then your next step is to work on your resistance, if you feel afraid then your next step is to meet with your fear….

AND

I feel so much resistance to working with my resistance!

I want to do what I want to do, not the thing that’s in front of me to do.

This doesn’t get easier.

I mean of course it does get easier. Years of experience help me know how to navigate this...

But here in the moment, with my feelings feeling so messy, it doesn’t feel any easier than it ever has.

So - knowing how to navigate the hard feelings gets easier. Actually having hard feelings remains hard.

So. I’m listening to the video. Hating it, lol.

My resistance is sharp tension in my shoulders.

A fog of frustration in my brain.

Oh there is so much sadness beneath that.

I stopped the recording 3 minutes in. I didn’t want to listen anymore I just wanted to be with my resistance.

I have a lot of grief about not having the energy to do all the things I want to do. I mean work things and personal things.

And then I my inner critic can come out and criticize me for not making better use of the energy I DO have.

And I feel so vulnerable to that criticism right now.

So many layers to this when I really sit with it.

I sit with all of these feelings for a while and then one idea emerges: make a loose schedule. A DOABLE schedule. Think through - what’s most important right now? What can wait for now? 

WRITE IT DOWN because what I have written down, the project management app I use to run my business, is not do-able. It’s like I keep juggling in the moment which thing to do or not do. I need to step back, think it through.

NOT that a schedule is the answer to resistance. But for me having a schedule or feeling organized makes me so much calmer. And when I am calmer I can take tiny little steps.

I know yesterday I wrote about bullet journaling but the things I planned in that bullet journal page… they are not working. 

Which doesn’t mean I did it wrong! I did it the way I could see to do it, and today I am learning that I need to do it differently, I am feeling all my feelings around it, and will try a different way.

This is what “build the path by taking steps” means. It’s not generally smooth.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

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Experimenting: A Dream Book Bullet Journal

By / / ,

I am using the weekly kits again.

I haven’t used them at all in the last few years.

Which is fine!

AND it’s fine (great actually!) to come back to using them.

The way I have been using my planner just doesn’t speak to me now. I use the calendar in my phone to keep track of appointments, events, etc. And at the start of each week I write them into the planner, which does feel good - it helps me get a sense of my week, emotionally.

But I don’t need a lot of space for each day, I am not tracking every to-do in there. Mostly I keep a list of what I want to do that week.

The detailed lists are all in Notion, my project management app for running my business.  There is nothing I write in my planner that is not already somewhere else digitally. (I need everything to be stored digitally with reminders. This is so I don’t lose anything.)

And I LOVE to write out just one week at a time, BY HAND, because this helps me get a feel for my week.

Planning is where dreaming and doing meet.

The digital stuff is “this is what I am going to do”.

The weekly planning pages are “this is how I am going to do this little part of this, this week”

And so I’ve realised - I don’t need a planner with a bunch of space for each week. A journal page for each week is fine.

AND I’ve realised - I want to be doing more journaling journaling. Not Dream Booking (which is very intentional about what you want to get from the journaling you are doing) but the journaling I call “regular journaling” in Dream Book.

Regular journaling is just about sitting with your thoughts and feelings. Getting them out of your head. Looking at them on paper. Maybe digging deeper. 

To me, journaling is quality time with yourself. I want to do more of that.

The journaling kits help with that. To give some structure and support.

So I am experimenting with a kind of hybrid of weekly planning and regular journaling, space to just BE with myself and get things out of my head where I can see them.

I don’t quite have the worlds for it yet, but it felt really good to experiment with it this week.

 

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

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