Spiritual Life Coaching For Creatives

Getting Angry Is A Part Of Your Dream Path Too

My husband and I are getting winter tires put on our car.

(Yes – I got rid of my car and became a cyclist 4 years ago. Then when I got married my husband and I bought a car together – he uses it most of the time.)

My husband needs the car for his job as a social worker, so we called around to find someone who could book an appointment in advance, first thing in the morning, so he could just come into work 1 hour late and then skip lunch.

The car guy said for sure he could be done in an hour. But when he got to the shop they said they didn’t have an appointment, and that the car would be in the shop all day.

I was up super early that morning and was at Starbucks. I’d already done some really great brainstorming/planning, and was just chatting with a friend about some work stuff and getting ready to crack open my laptop and get caught up on some admin work.

That’s when my husband called to let me know that the shop was saying we didn’t have an appointment so it would take them all day to do the tires. So I agreed to bring my husband my mom’s car (my parents are away right now) so he could get to work.

Then I sat there, in a huff. I mean this is hardly the end of the world, but it did put a wrench in my plans and I was frustrated.

Of course it’s not a big deal, so I tried to just blow it off.  But as I kept talking with my friend I noticed I was feeling more and more uncomfortable.

I was angry.

Not so much about my schedule getting a little messed up but more about how this person did not honour the agreement we made – that’s a trigger for me.

It’s ok to be angry when you’re angry.

I mean it’s ok to not be angry too.

But if you are angry then it’s ok to feel angry – to not brush it off, but to be with it and listen to it.

So I admitted to my friend that I still felt angry about the mechanic. This gave my anger some space and legitimacy. And almost instantly I knew – I needed to stand up for myself.

So I phoned the car guy and let him know I had made the appointment in advance and that I expected it to be honoured.

The mechanic agreed, at that point he couldn’t still get the tires finished by the time that was originally promised, but he said he could have it done by 10am.

I hung up the phone, took a deep breath, and felt much better. The anger was gone.

The anger was there as a sign that I needed to stand up for myself. That I couldn’t allow the car guy to break a deal with me without saying anything.

Anger is often a sign/message that comes with a burst of energy that allows us to act on the message.

When we use anger in that way – it’s very helpful! One of the most helpful emotions!

But people rarely use it this way.

Often, when you think you’re acting out of anger what you’re really doing is acting out of your own resistance to feeling angry.

That’s when you fly off the handle – the anger that comes up is so uncomfortable for you that you try to throw it onto something/someone else.

You’re just trying to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling you’re having.  But what you end up doing – lashing out just to try to get rid of the feeling inside you – is just making things worse.

Then ager gets blamed!

But it wasn’t anger that made you lash out like that – it was your resistance to feeling your feelings.

When you can simply feel your feelings then you can get the message/meaning in your feeling. Then you can find the gift in it.

THEN you have the power to act differently – and that changes everything.

Notice how my husband was not angry about the car thing. He was irritated, but let it go once we had a solution. I was angry.

This is what it means to be triggered.

Being triggered means your inner wounds have been activated.

Maybe my husband wasn’t triggered because he wasn’t the one who made the appointment. Maybe it was because he doesn’t care if some car guys keeps his promises or not. He would say that he has bigger things to worry about.

I was triggered. It means a great deal to me that people keep their agreements with me, so this is the kind of thing that triggers me.

The thing about being triggered is that it’s a gift. There is always something in it that you can use for your own healing and growth.

Of course it never feels that way in the moment.

The example I’m sharing is a pretty small trigger. I was feeling angry and in a huff but it wasn’t out of control or anything.

Sometimes we are so triggered that we can’t handle our feelings and it takes everything we’ve got to not fly off the handle, and go into that reactive mode where we do things we later regret.

Those triggers are where we find the BIG gifts.

We’re doing a group coaching call on What To Do When You’re Triggered in the Creative Dream Circle on November 20.

I want to go speak in depth about handling large and small triggers and how to find the gifts in them.

This is an important topic because when you can handle your triggers you can find the gifts in them – which always serve your healing and personal growth.

So I’ll have more to share on the call, but we’ll have plenty of space for people in attendance to ask questions.

While it’s great to be on the call live, I think the recording of this one will be a real gift – to be able to come to it as a source of healing and support for when you’re right in the discomfort of being triggered.

This call will only be available to members of the Creative Dream Circle – find out more + join us here.

De-mystifying the process of transformation.

The process of transformation is so fascinating and mysterious!

I would like to de-mystify some parts of it, by creating a series of case studies so you can look more deeply into the nuts and bolts of how it works.

The case studies will be free to access both on my blog and in the Dream Lab (my free e-course).

Each case study will focus on one very specific issue. Something like:

  • I don’t know what my dream is.
  • I don’t know what to do next to move towards my dream.
  • My dream seems impossible but I don’t want to give up.
  • I’m too scared to _____ (start a blog, ask for money for my work, start painting again, make that big move) but deep down I really want to do it.
  • I have to choose between a few different things and I just don’t know which one to choose.

You are invited to be a part of this, to help me create a case study about an issue/obstacle which you are currently facing.

Here’s how it works:

  1. You try the practice that I teach in the Dream Lab (we’re going to work from this practice in the coaching session, so you need to be a little familiar with it first).
  2. You fill in the application, letting me know what your dream is and where you’re stuck.
  3. If your application is selected, I will get back to you and let you know how to book your free session with me.
  4. We meet on Skype (your choice: video or audio only) and do a session to transform the thing you want to transform.
  5. I write up case notes and share them, with the recording of our session, with you and everyone else in the Dream Lab and on my blog

(If you are worried about privacy we can give you an assumed name. If you’re working on a dream of building your creative business, we can include your name and website so people can find out more about you)

I know these case studies will help tremendously!

When you are in that place of feeling stuck it’s amazing to be able to witness the process of someone getting un-stuck. There is a healing that is transmitted in that process of witnessing.

Because, like I always say in my classes, this isn’t math! There is no 2+2=4. There is no no-fail three step process. Or more eloquently stated:

“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.”

Joseph Campbell

Path-making is complex but the only path that leads to your dream is the one you make yourself.

Instead of offering easy three step systems, what I can offer are stories and possibilities which you can use in your own path-making. So I see these case studies being of equal benefit to the people being coached and to the people listening.

Sounds like something you want to be a part of?

The application process is in the right here in the case studies section of the Dream Lab.

You need your Dream Lab login to access it: if you have not registered for Dream Lab you can do that for free right here, if you need your login details re-sent to you you can do that from this page)

What if my dream is to find a relationship?

What if my dream is to find a relationship?

Often people think their dream of finding that right partner is not, like, a real dream.

Like a real dream is something concrete that you can work towards: a solo show in an art gallery, a novel written, a trip around the world.

A real dream is a thing where you can take steps, work hard, and get there eventually.

Finding the right person seems to be a lot more about luck and just waiting for the right time and maybe going on a lot of shitty first dates. 

Not to mention that sometimes wanting to find a partner can feel like an embarrassing thing to dream about.

But all dreams are valid. Your dreams are how your soul calls you towards your true self, your purpose and your most authentic life.

Your heart’s desires are to be taken seriously – following them is how you build your true, authentic life, it’s how you get into alignment with yourself.

JUDGING your dreams only leads to being disconnected from your own heart, which is an uncomfortable way to live.

But what do you actually DO when your dream is to find someone?

I mean you can’t actually control when or how or if you actually meet the right person. This is not the kind of dream you can really plan for…

But you CAN do things to make sure you are ready in case opportunity strikes, and of course being really truly ready can help make it easier for opportunity to find you.

You can work with it, just like you work with any dream.

You can sort through your own ambivalence and discomfort and fear and doubt. And in doing that you grow towards your true self, find more clarity and it dating does actually start to get easier.

The most common question I get about this is: should I go after my creative dream first, or my love dream first?

And the answer is that there is no answer.

It’s going to be different for everyone. But for most people – these dreams are linked. Remember: your dreams are how your soul calls you towards your true self, your purpose and your most authentic life.

You get to have a beautiful and fulfilling personal life and a beautiful and fulfilling professional life – in whatever way you want to define these for yourself.

I mean that can include loving the single life or enjoying dating different people or getting married or anything else.

No matter what your dream is – your dream will grow you.

In my case, pursuing my creative/professional dreams with gusto led me to grow into the person who could find her right partner. I had been single for over a decade and running the Creative Dream Incubator as my full time job for six and a half years when I got married to my soulmate in April 2017.

For others, finding their right partner gives them the support they need to go after their creative dreams.

For others, that love and support come from developing the right community around them and deepening their own self-love and self-care.

There is no one size fits all here.

The only rule is the same rule that applies to all dreams: follow your own heart.

Which is easier said that done, because it means you have to sort through the fears and limiting beliefs and grief piled up from love’s disappointments in your past so that you can hear your own heart clearly.

This is the challenge of having a dream and this is how your dream will grow you.

Let’s dive in and explore all of this together.

What If My Dream Is To Find A Relationship? Creative Dream Coaching Circle is happening live online on May 23.

I can’t guarantee to help you find your dream partner – no one can. But I can help you work through some of the “stuff” that comes up around this to make it easier for you to work with your dream of finding a partner.

And I’ll share my own story.  After over a decade of being single, there was a moment when I felt things shift inside of me, when I knew I was ready. I met my partner about a few months after that.

In hindsight I can see that I nurtured that shift into happening by doing a few things that I’ll talk about on this call.

Plus we’ll talk about all the hard stuff that comes up in the process of looking for someone and how complicated this can all get.

My hope is that you’ll leave the call feeling uplifted and nourished and inspired to keep walking along your unique dream path.

About Creative Dream Coaching Circles:

Community. Advice. Ideas. Healing. Support. Cheering. Creative Dream Super-Fuel.

You’ll gather with me, and a group of creative kindred spirits, and we’ll work on making our dreams real together. It’s the kind of supportive creative community we all wish we had in our everyday lives.

I know I over-use this word, but there isn’t another way to say it: Creative Dream Coaching Circles are *magic*

We meet online via live, streaming video. You can type your questions to me and I’ll answer right there on the spot or you can come on the line we can chat (you will need a webcam for that option).

Each coaching circle has a specific topic. I’ll start by sharing some thoughts and ideas and then we’ll have lots of time for coaching, questions and exploring together.

Can’t make it to the live event? No problem!

All coaching circles will be recorded and you can even email me your questions ahead of time and listen to my answers in the recording.

The call is happening live online on May 23 at 1:00 pm (Central, North America)

Yes it will be recorded and you can even email me your questions ahead of time and listen to my answers in the recording.

The cost: Just $30 US a call (or free, for Creative Dream Circle members)

Sign up for this callOr

Find out more about the Circle

How To Grow Your Dreams When You’re surrounded by Dream Doubters and Negative Nellies

How To Grow Your Dreams When You’re surrounded by Dream Doubters and Negative Nellies

You want the people closest to you to support you in pursuing your dreams.

But what if they don’t?

It’s one of those things that a lot of dreamers feel alone in – but it’s actually really common.

Personally, I have experienced a lack of support as “external evidence” of all the things my inner critic was saying – I’m not good enough, I’m not ready, it will never happen anyway so why bother?

It’s not fun!

It can be really easy to let it derail you from your dreams – like every time you try to step towards your dreams you end up stepping into all these hurt feelings so why bother?

But that’s not what you want.

You want to be free to live in a way that feels true for you, which includes having space to pursue your dreams.

You know how I always say that facing the obstacles will grow you?

This is definitely one of those times.

This lack of support can feel like an impossible situation but it’s not impossible and working through it will grow you.

It will grow your faith in yourself and your determination to make your dream real.

It will show you just how capable you are to do the things that need to be done to give your dream some space to grow.

If you’re in this situation there are a few things you can do that will help.

One way to approach this is to just let your hurt feelings stew and marinate and turn into resentment and anger until you can just blow up at the person and then go after your dreams in a cloud of anger and “I’ll show you” energy.

Not super effective but for some people that is the only option.

What I would suggest is to take a gentler and more direct approach – because the person who is not being supportive of you didn’t just decide to be a jerk about your dream for no reason.

Maybe they’re afraid to see you take a risk. Maybe they don’t want you to get hurt. Maybe they’re embarrassed about your dream because they’re embarrassed about their dream.

Maybe they’re so uncomfortable about their own dreams that they don’t want to face that discomfort so they don’t want to talk about dreams. Maybe they just don’t want things to change.

There are a lot of reasons why people have a hard time supporting other people in going after their dreams.

So treat it gently. Be mindful that this person’s lack of support probably stems from their own hurt/scared places inside of them.

AND be mindful of the fact that you get to choose to pursue your dreams. No one can actually stop you from that.

So get clear with yourself about what you are and are not willing to compromise on.

I mean when I say that you get to choose to pursue your dreams, I’m not encouraging you to abandon your children to run off to Vegas to become a showgirl.

I’m saying there’s a way to make some space in your life for the sparkle and magic that you crave.

And then you can tend to the magic and sparkle while you tend to the other parts of your life as well.

And then grow it all into something that feels more true to you.

That’s what all dreams are at their core – your soul calling you towards your truth.

You can trust your dream. Moving towards your truth is not going to ruin your life-  even though some of the people closest to you may be afraid of exactly that.

So once you’ve spent some time deciding where you are and are not willing to compromise – well you might not have a problem anymore.

I mean it really depends on what your specific situation is.

Once you’ve spent some time thinking about where you are and are not willing to compromise, you might realise that you just need to start spending 15 minutes a day writing your manuscript and that it doesn’t matter if this person has a negative attitude about it.

Or you might need to hide certain things from certain people. Or learn about energy work to visualize “deflecting” their less-than-helpful comments about your dream so they can’t get you down.

You may need to just find the determination to pursue your dreams regardless of a lack of support. (Because your dream needs you, it doesn’t need anyone else)

Or you may need to work out a deal with this person to start making some small changes in your life.

Sometimes exploring what you are and are not willing to compromise on leads to you needing to have a discussion with the person who is not being supportive about how you feel and what you need.

Whatever happens, if you keep exploring you’re going to find a way to work this out so you can start growing your dream.

I know it’s hard. But no matter who isn’t supporting you or how you feel about it – you can’t let it stop you.

When I started doing my creativity workshops my co-workers would laugh at me when I talked about it at work.

When I decided to quit that job and pursue the Creative Dream Incubator full time, my parents wished I would reconsider because they wanted me to be safe and have enough money to take care of myself.

It’s normal for the people around you to not support your dreams, especially in the beginning.

This is just one of those things you’re going to have to overcome on the way to making your dream real.

Your dream is YOURS. Like – it picked you for a reason. It showed itself to you. It didn’t show itself to your parents, spouse, friends, co-workers and neighbours.

They just can’t see it yet – and that doesn’t mean anything about how viable your dream actually is.

Unfortunately a lack of support is one of those things that almost everyone has to overcome – which is also fortunate because it means I have a lot of experience helping people overcome it!

So let’s explore this together in more depth:

Creative Dream Coaching Circle: How To Grow Your Dreams When You’re surrounded by Dream Doubters and Negative Nellies

The call is happening live online on Tuesday, April 18 at 1:00 pm (Central, North America)

Yes it will be recorded and you can even email me your questions ahead of time and listen to my answers in the recording.

Community. Advice. Ideas. Healing. Support. Cheering. Creative Dream Super-Fuel.

Gather with me, and a group of creative kindred spirits, and we’ll work on making our dreams real together.

You’ll get honest advice and feedback about what you need to be doing to make your dreams really happen.

And space to be real about how hard it is sometimes, and how amazing it is at other times.

It’s the kind of supportive creative community we all wish we had in our everyday lives.

I know I over-use this word, but there isn’t another way to say it: Creative Dream Coaching Circles are *magic*

HOW COACHING CIRCLES WORK:

We meet online via live, streaming video. You can type your questions to me and I’ll answer right there on the spot or you can come on the line we can chat (you will need a webcam for that option).

Each coaching circle has a specific topic. I’ll start by sharing some thoughts and ideas and then we’ll have lots of time for coaching, questions and exploring together.

Can’t make it to the live event? No problem!

All coaching circles will be recorded and you can even email me your questions ahead of time and listen to my answers in the recording.

The cost: Just $25 US a call (or free, for Creative Dream Circle members)

Sign up for this callOr

Find out more about the Circle

Sign up here or find our more about the Creative Dream Circle.

Does your day job get in the way of your dream?

 

Most people who have built their own thing did it while working full time for someone else.

I mean – you have to pay the bills. Very few of us have enough money to fund our dreams without working, it’s just a fact of life.

But don’t let the facts keep you from your dream.

Just because you have to have a job right now does not mean that you can’t stay connected to your dream full time.

You can have a boring or crappy job and still be excited and inspired about your dream! And when you do this – you generate more energy for your dream.

And then you get to leave work feeling energized and excited to work on your dream.

When you don’t stay connected to your dream, you tend to leave work feeling tired and resentful about not having enough time for your dream. And then you don’t have the energy to work on your dream… and you make no progress…. and you get more tired and resentful.

It doesn’t have to be this way. You can have your job AND your dream.

You really, absolutely, totally, do not need to wait until you’re ready to quit your job before you can have that joy of being connected to your dream.

I promise.

And of course this works for people who don’t have day jobs too! No matter what you do all day, doing it while feeling connected to your dream makes it better.

So let’s do this!

The Creative Dream Coaching Circle: Staying In Touch With Your Dream While At Your Day Job is happening live online via streaming video on Tuesday, March 21 at 1:00 pm (Central, North America).

(And yes it will be recorded so you don’t have to be there live.  You can even email me your question ahead of time and I’ll make sure to talk about your specific situation during the call)

I’ll walk you through the process I use stay connected with my dream and you’ll have a chance to practice it right there on the call.

I’ll talk about little things I did to help me stay connected to, inspired by and excited about my dream while working at my day job.  Plus we’ll brainstorm together to come up with even more ways.

And we’ll have time for coaching you through the places where you get stuck with this and answering your questions.

The cost: $0 or $25.

This call is free for all Creative Dream Circle members. (If you are a member, check the weekly emails I send out for a link to get all the details for this call)

If you’re not a member you can join us just for this call for $25 US.

>>> Reserve your spot now.

I am so looking forward to exploring this with you!

Creative Planning + Project Management Call is tomorrow

You want a plan that makes you excited to bounce out of bed in the morning and get to work, yes?

Or, at the very least, you want to feel like you know what you’re doing.

Because the curse of creativity is also the gift of creativity: an abundance of amazing ideas. And the creative mind which comes up with all of these ideas tends to have a difficult time corralling them into finished projects.

I love this idea but what do I DO? How do I plan? What do I need to do to make sure I get the work done this time?

You want to have enough of a plan to give you the direction and support you need, but you also want enough freedom to make space for the magic to happen. Finding that balance can be tricky, to put it mildly.

You want to believe in yourself, your project and your creative voice.

But sometimes the planning process itself can be a challenge, I mean there is nothing like planning to step out of your comfort zone to wake up your inner critics!

And then you’re tangling with self-doubt instead of drawing up a plan. And you wind up just stuck.

We’ve all been there.

Tomorrow’s call on Creative Planning + Project Management we’ll explore this together.  You’ll get:

 

Clarity on where planning mishaps come from and what to do about them. Plus a healing process for releasing fear/shame/guilt/frustration about past planning mishaps so you’re ready to plan from a fresh slate.

 

I’ll share how I used to plan (like an absolute maniac and then I’d work my tail off to keep up with my to-do list while still not hitting my goals and getting crazy stressed) and how I plan now in a more creative, nourishing, holistic way that honours my creativity and energy levels.

(Since I started planning in this way, I actually work less and accomplish more – plus I think I do better work.)

Plus, of course the magic that comes from gathering with creative kindred spirits to explore and grow together, including the chance to get on-the-spot coaching from me during the call to help you transform your personal planning pitfalls.

 

Find out more + reserve your spot here.

 

Looking forward to exploring this with you,

Creative Planning: Why is it so hard sometimes?

why is planning so hard sometimes?

You want a plan that makes you excited to bounce out of bed in the morning and get to work.

Or at the very least, you want to feel like you know what you’re doing.

Which is a pretty small dream to have so why is it so illusive sometimes?

We tend to think if we can just get our shit together and come up with a good plan – then we can make our creative dreams real.

But it’s a lot more complicated than that.

Planning is where the invisible ethereal essence and vision of your dream coalesce with outer-world action and work and transform into a real, live, fully birthed creative project.

I mean that’s kind of a big deal.

So even thought we’ve all failed at creative planning I think we should pat ourselves on the back just for stepping onto the field and giving it a shot.

This is brave work.

And over the next few weeks I’m going to be blogging about creative planning in hopes of offering some insight and ideas to help you brave the many pitfalls of the creative planning process.

Starting at the beginning.

Before you can make a workable plan you have to know WHY you want a plan.

I mean I know this seems obvious, but give this a chance – really give this some thought.

  • I want to feel sure about how to make this happen.
  • I want to feel organized.
  • I want to feel confident that I know what to do.

Then, once you have some answers that feel true – dig deeper.

  • I want to feel sure about how to make this happen BECAUSE: I’m worried that it’s not going to work out. I need to see it all planned out in black and white before I am going to believe that I can really do this.
  • I want to feel organized BECAUSE: I feel so disorganized and like I just don’t know what to do or how to do it. When I think about this I feel chaotic and frustrated.
  • I want to feel confident that I know what to do BECAUSE: I don’t trust myself to follow through. I have tried and given up so many times before.

You need to work with the uncomfortable feeling that gets triggered when you dig deeper, otherwise those feelings will take over and sabotage your planning process without you even noticing.

You want to create a plan that is supportive of you, your creative process and the result you are looking for.

To get there you need to do your planning from a place of deep alignment with your inner wisdom, your creative genius and the heart and soul of your creative project.

Because otherwise you are unconsciously planning from your inner critics, un-helpful patterns and limiting beliefs.

So you start by clearing out those feelings, first by naming them.

Everyone wants to skip this step but it’s the most important step.

So – go do it.

Now.

Ask yourself WHY you want to plan. And then dig deeper into your answers.

And, as I said, I’ll be writing about creative planning for the next few weeks so we can keep exploring this together.

Then, on Feb 7 I’m offering a special Creative Dream Coaching Circle on Creative Planning and Project Management.

Crystal clear clarity on where planning mishaps come from and what to do about them.

 

Find out more and reserve your spot right here.

[HELPFUL VIDEO] How to Practice Self-Love/Self-Care In The Times When You Need It The Most

I made this video in April 2015 for Susannah Conway’s April Love and it felt like it would be a helpful message to share here right now.

 

Plus! I am celebrating the Year of Dreams 2017 Dream Planner, Guided Journal and Colouring Book with a series of free online classes!

YODfreeclasses

My aim: To Create Wildly Helpful and Ridiculously Enlightening Classes to Help You Build Your Solid Foundation for a Magical + Fulfilling 2017.

I’m offering five free classes between Nov 29 and January 3!

Find out more about the classes + register right here.

See you there!

How To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone.

Inner Work 101 is a series of in-depth blog posts I’m working on to de-mystify the inner workings of inner work.  I’m tired of seeing brilliant creative people stumble around and settle for less than they really want because they don’t know how to navigate the path of their own potential and this is what I’m doing to help change that.  Find all the Inner Work 101 posts right here.

I’ve been in a complicated place with my dreams lately.  This happens when my dreams grow and then demand that I grow to keep up with them.

So I can see this new dream ahead of me and I can feel all the ways that I’m not there yet.  Like it’s close enough that I can see it, but far enough that it’s still outside of my comfort zone.

How to get out of your comfort zone

So either I have to bring it into my comfort zone, or I have to step out of my comfort zone to meet it.

This would be simple enough except when you zoom in and see what the boundary of the comfort zone is actually made of.

How to get out of your comfort zone

Yeah.

This stuff orbits around you and your life.

When you contract to avoid it your whole life contracts.

When you expand and grow you hit up against it.

It sucks.  There is no way to sugar coat this.

Comfort zones aren’t necessarily comfortable.  They should really be called familiar zones.

But when you stay in your comfort zone out of a fear of facing that mess that makes up the boundary, you let your fear control your possibilities.

So it becomes important to figure out how to work with that boundary.

Which means you have to learn how to really be with your fear and doubt and confusion and the deep wounds within.

And then you have to learn how to bring love and calm and safety and stability into these places so that the work of healing and transformation can begin.

The important thing to remember is that this is powerful work.

As in: you are powerful for doing it.

Because as soon as you get into that boundary and start looking closer at what’s going on there you’re not going to feel powerful.  You’re going to feel like shit.

For us sensitive creative types this process seems extra-excruciating.

This is why people avoid this work even though they know it means settling for less than they want in life – because it feels awful to feel lost and small and confused and unsure and defeated.

I mean avoiding pain is a normal human instinct.

It’s very tempting to go back to avoidance and staying on the surface of things – to contracting and living within your comfort zone.  Because hey it’s better than feeling like shit, right?

But your dream is how your soul calls you towards your purpose. And it’s going to keep calling.

So this is where I’ve been lately.

People always ask me: does it get easier?

Well yes and no.

As you become more familiar with the process you develop more faith in yourself and your ability to do the work.  So then it does seem easier.

Plus the more you do this the more your boundary changes and lightens up and so healing and transformation can happen faster.

But it still feels like shit when you’re right there in it.  That part doesn’t change.

But there is a very big bright side to all of this.

I mean this is literally how you stop your fear from stopping you!

It’s how you expand your possibilities and create a brighter life for yourself.

Each time you go into the boundary and bring love and healing there you make more space for your greatness.

The last time I was in a big, long period of this shit was right around the time I moved into my Dream Loft.

I had bought this place only 6 months after quitting my job to the Creative Dream Incubator full time.  I was not sure I was totally ready for this move because I wasn’t sure yet what my income was going to be like as a business owner and the Dream Loft was going to double my monthly expenses.

But my intuition insisted that this was absolutely the right move for me and I was committed to following my intuition so there I was: scared and totally out of my comfort zone.

[Note I do NOT encourage anyone to be reckless with their finances or take unnecessary risks for their dreams.  Usually I find dreams grow best with slow, steady steps and not frightening leaps of faith.]

I had to face so many fears all at once.  It’s not just the fear of not making enough money. It’s never as simple as that.

Beneath the surface fear always hides the real fears which hit closer to home…

  • What if this fails and I feel like a miserable failure for the rest of my life?
  • What if this fails and it means I’m not good enough?
  • What if this fails and I lose my house and wind up on the streets and no one cares?
  • What if it turns out I was really stupid for ever believing in myself?

Sitting with these questions feels like shit.

For a while there, pretty much every single day I got all tangled up all of these fears.

But over time I got a handle on it.  I started to shift my limiting beliefs and un-helpful patterns.  I started to create space for new possibilities.

That is when I really got to know myself as a person who trusts herself to support herself and her dreams.

Before then I believed in possibilities.  I believed that I had purpose and that it included sharing my creativity with the world somehow.

But my income had always come from jobs.  Any time I had tried to create my own income with my art and creative ideas – I had flopped.

I didn’t know how to financially support myself with my creativity.

And I took a bunch of business classes and I had built up my business before I had left my job…

But I also had to go through this inner process of growing into this version of my who fully trusts herself to support herself and her dreams.

It’s been over five years since that happened.  And in that time I have been steady in my trust of myself.  And my business has steadily supported me all that time.

I mean I don’t ALWAYS trust myself – everything gets off balance sometimes.  But I get back to trust quickly now.  Trusting myself became my set-point, it’s what I naturally come back to.

It works this way for all dreams.

For example after being single for over a decade I went through a similar process before meeting my partner.

I am going through it again as we deepen and solidify our commitment to each other and figure out what kind of life we want to create together.

But this isn’t about me.

What about you?

Where does your comfort zone have you stuck and playing small?  When you feel like shit do you give up on your dreams?

Because your dream is how your soul calls you towards your purpose. And it’s going to keep calling.

And you’re never going to fully give up, right?

You’re here to share your gifts with the world, right?

So the important thing is to not give up when things get hard. Stay with it.

And as ridiculous as it sounds, this is what helps with that: remember that it’s supposed to feel shitty sometimes.

Feeling shitty about yourself and your dreams is not a sign that you’re on the wrong path.  It’s a sign that you’re facing your fears.

Also: it doesn’t have to make sense.  After you’ve moved further down the path you’ll look back and it will make sense then.  It won’t make sense while you’re in it.

The simple 2-step process to keep moving and get out of your comfort zone:

1. Do your best to meet with your dreams and give them what they need to grow.  

2. As you do this stay with the feelings that come up and learn how to bring healing and transformation to them so you can access your inner gifts and ability to bring your dreams to life.

Simple.  But not easy.

Your dream will grow you.  And in the end, after you’ve moved through all the shitty stuff, you’ll be glad it did.

Feeling like it would take a miracle? You’re in luck!

Project Miracle is for people who believe in the magic of their dreams and are ready for something to change.

It’s a 30 day Choose-Your-Own-Adventure creative support groups for making change happen.

Find out more + grab your spot today.

 

New video! You don’t have to feel ready.

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So I am doing LIVE videos on Tuesdays now!

(I’ll be broadcasting every Tuesday on Facebook – if you want to join live next week get all the details right here.)

Here’s this week’s video:

Creative Dream TV: You don’t have to feel ready

Posted by Andrea Schroeder on Tuesday, 12 April 2016

(If you can’t play the video here you can watch it directly on Facebook right here.)

The other video I mention in that video is What If You Can’t Afford The Kind Of Support You Need To Grow Your Dream.

Of course, my Creative With Money course is happening next week.

I know money is one of the biggest obstacles to bringing dreams to life – but when you start to work with money in the way I teach in this class that can change.

The soul of money is the soul of support, nourishment and possibility.

It’s purpose is to serve you in the unfoldment of your purpose – to help you grow into who you really are.

We live in a world that has a deeply broken relationship with money.

Greed and corruption and injustice are the manifestations of this broken relationship.

Unfortunately, when we are born into a world where money functions in these ways it’s easy for us to wind up with all sorts of “issues” with money.

That’s why my money class is actually a group healing.

I spent five years developing this class because money is such a sensitive topic.  I wanted this class to be creative and expansive and supportive and above all – healing.

So we can go into those places where our own relationship with money is broken, and heal it.

So that we can get back to our rightful connection with the soul of money.

It’s not about “getting rich quick” or “busting through your money blocks”.

It’s about deep healing which brings: delight and expansion and possibility.

A celebration of the abundance that already lives within you, an opportunity to use your inner gifts in new ways and an invitation for more to come find you.

I’m really honoured to have the opportunity to be able to share this experience with you.

Click here to read all about it.

If you’re thinking of joining me but have some questions first, email me using the contact form on this page.

Wishing you delight and magic, today and always,