I feel so conflicted right now.

 

The Creative Dream Incubator has been my full time job for 6.5 years. It’s been my biggest dream for over 20 years.

It means a lot to me, I have worked hard to be where I am because I believe in what I’m doing.

I believe in our ability to transform the world through the transformation of consciousness, and that this happens one person at a time.

And that we – those of us who are ready and willing to do this work – are a growing minority.

I’m looking at the long game.

Six and a half years ago when I left my job – things were different.

The worldwide political climate was different.  And the online creative entrepreneurship space was different.

I mean back then I remember Chris Guillebeau writing a blog post about being excited about making $50,000 the previous year in his online writing business.  He pointed to a graph that showed that this was the average income in his part of the world. He was excited to make an average income doing what he loved and while having creative freedom.

It was heartfelt and genuine.

I was so excited to be a part of it.

I don’t see that kind of stuff anymore. The online space is too crowded with the “Must Make Six Figures To Be Happy” crowd.

For months now every time I see an online business coach offering an “Easy 6 Figure System” I select “hide all ads from this person”.  And like three more of them jump in to take their place.

It’s not that I don’t want people to make the money they want to make. I do want that for everyone.

Also I have a LOT to say about how creative people to need to learn how to put their work out there and market themselves to be able to support themselves with their creative dreams.

I mean for some of us it can be inauthentic to not be a full time creative so we need to do the work to make that happen. And seven years ago it feels like the internet was opening up as a possibility for making that easier.

But making more and more just to prove your worth – well that’s just not interesting to me and that’s the vibe I get from these people.

I mean that’s the kind of bullshit I left behind when I quit my job to do this work full time.

But like – the life coach who can’t get their own shit together but wants to fix your life or the yoga teacher who “curates” all of the real out of their life for their instagram feed or the self-proclaimed hippy-dippy-love-machine who teaches us that we hippies need to focus more on the dollars.

Or the business coaches who have only ever run one business – the one where they make money telling you how to make money online.

These people have gotten really good at getting attention online.

And it feels like all of that heartfelt genuine stuff is gone.

I mean I know it’s not gone. It’s actually bigger and stronger than ever it’s just the other stuff is so much louder.

And you know what? I feel embarrassed to work in this space a lot of the time.

I mean I am genuine to an awkward degree and, as a sensitive introverted person that can be embarrassing but I mean I am embarrassed at what I see happening in the “create your dream life” online space and embarrassed to be a part of it.

I want to distance myself from it somehow.

But how? When a lot of the 6 Figure Cult are out there claiming themselves as heart-based and authentic and intuitive and genuine?

I mean we’re using the same words. Where is the space for the people who do need to make a living but aren’t in it primarily for the money?  Who don’t see financial growth as their #1 measurement of success? Who are happy to stop when they have enough and simply enjoy their creative life?

And then all of this collides with the current political climate.

It feels like intense racism and sexism and homophobia and other-phobia are making their last stand, all around the world.

I mean I hope it’s the last stand.

It’s a big, ugly, loud stand.

But to have the predominantly white life coaching industry acting like nothing is happening.

I mean I know even I wrote a blog post right after the US election asking you to not let the drama of the election de-rail you from your dreams.

I wrote that before hate crimes in the US took a sharp rise.

And I didn’t mean ignore what is wrong with the world. I mean don’t let it derail you because your dream is a part of the solution.

I mean all of my work is about being present where you are now – in the muck of fears and limiting beliefs and doubt – and using that as a fuel that moves you forward.

We have to do the same on a global scale. Be with what is, bring light and love and truth to what is happening in the world.

Presence is a healing force.

When you see mass injustice and don’t speak up then you are a part of the problem. Your silence helps to hold the whole system in place.

And the system is rigged. It’s rigged against non-whites and non-males and non-cis people and non-straight and non-wealthy people.

As a straight, white woman it’s rigged a bit against me, but I have been able to use my privilege as a white person to overcome that.  What about those with no privilege?  ( I mean let’s not even start with the white feminism)

I am not saying to give up your dreams and give everything you have to those in need and put your own self into jeopardy.

We have to be able to find a balance. Being true to ourselves and lending our real, tangible support to making the world a better place.

Prayers and sending love are not enough right now.

How do we do that? I don’t know.

Except I do know that we won’t figure it out by doing and saying nothing.

So, coming back to the 6 figure people. Of course they would say that by we-the-hippies- creating 6, 7, and 8 figure businesses we can begin to disrupt the system.

Maybe.

But I think more likely they have’t looked too deeply at the roots and effects of the capitalist system.

And just like I don’t see violence as a possible cure for violence I don’t see capitalism being the cure for capitalism.

I mean really – more people getting better at “winning” at capitalism – that will solve this? No I don’t see it.

I mean we have to be responsible for the impact of our businesses.

This great post about looking at the supply chains in your own business by Kelly Diels who is thoroughly addressing this issue in The Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand is something we all need to think about.

No one’s perfect at this stuff.  Even the most well-meaning people can build businesses that have some less-than-stellar impacts on the world.

Including me – it’s something we need to keep examining in ourselves.

But more people getting better at listening to their hearts and living from the wisdom of their hearts? Yes I can see that as a solution.

And how about people learning how to live joyfully with less? Oh fuck yes I can see that helping!

(Which I think is a side effect of getting better at listening to your heart – your heart doesn’t want more stuff)

So ultimately, even though I feel uncomfortable, I also want to keep doing what I’m doing.

I think we, the new generation of online creative entrepreneurs, can be a force for good. We just have to work at it and figure it out.

And right now I don’t have any answers.

I just feel uncomfortable. And I don’t really know what to say but I didn’t want to say nothing.

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