On How “I’m Trying To Get Focused But I Don’t Know How” Is A Lie

As I am getting ready to start the Focus Pocus Creative Support Group on Feb 5 I wanted to share some of my experiences as I work through the Focus Pocus process, to plant some seeds for the discussions we’ll have on our calls…

Ha! I just wrote down the title to this blog: “I’m Trying To Get Focused But I Don’t Know Where To Start” and I realised I am lying to myself.

I think we’re often lying to ourselves when we “can’t get focused”.

We make up a (reasonable sounding) reason why we’re not focused so we can avoid the pain of looking at the real reason.

So when I say I don’t know where to start I am lying because I know that I could start by listing everything involved in the project and then looking at how to put it into some kind of order and then building out action steps from that.

It’s the same way I have organised any big project I’ve done.  In fact I made a whole kit of journaling prompts to help do that (the Dream Plan Kit in the Year of Dreams 2018).

So, then the question is either:

  1. Why am I lying to myself about why I have not gotten started yet?
  2. What do I need so that I feel ready to get started?

#2 feels more supportive and helpful so I’ll start with that.

What do I need so that I feel ready to get started?

I want to lie down on my yoga mat and do this. But the sun is just barely coming up right now so it’s kind of dark there. And if I turn on the super-bright light then it’s too bright. 

OK how about using the less bright lights? Or moving the yoga mat until it gets sunnier?

No, I just really want the nice natural light.

OK that sounds weird, like do you want this dream or do you want to sit around and wait for the light to be right?

I want both. Come on you know how nice it is to lie in front of the window and work on stuff and you know once we move it’s not likely we’ll have these floor to ceiling wall to wall windows. 

Yeah OK I see that. So what can we do right now?

[my head just turns to fuzz]

So this means it’s not waiting for the right lighting. When I think about getting my shit together RIGHT NOW my head turns to fuzz which is a sign that I am STUCK.

So let’s talk to the fuzz.

Fuzz raises it’s eyebrows. He’s this big muscle-y guy, all fuzzy like he’s made out of cotton balls.

What? You’re not supposed to try to talk to me.

But I’d like to find out what’s going on.

I’m here to stop you from moving forward.

Why?

It’s just too much!

What is?

Your goals!

OK but I picked these goals because they light me up and I won’t let you stop me. Why are you even here?

I look more closely and this big muscle-y man is just a bunch of cotton balls that my fears glued together to try to make them look intimidating.

And now I feel things kind of swirling around in my head, making it impossible to focus.

So I’m going to switch to the other question I could explore:

Why am I lying to myself about why I have not gotten started yet?

I sit with that for a few minutes and it becomes clear: If I do this badly it could be really detrimental to my business.

Or that is my fear anyway.

I offer love to the fear.

I show it how much I want to do this thing.

I show it my joy and inspiration about the thing.

Fear starts to soften and melt.

Yup this thing is kind of scary.

Both of the big projects I want to start working on soon are scary for me in different ways. So all of this exploring and feeling and processing really is necessary because otherwise my fears would just sabotage my every move.

So where am I now?

Feeling the joy and inspiration I have for this project and also wishing for ideal conditions – like the perfect sunshine beaming into the room and amazing snacks on cute little plates all around me and not having a cough and a sore throat.

OK. How about journal and art supplies and a cup of tea with honey and a candle?

Yeah I think I could start there.

…..

Sitting down with my journal to map out what I want to do next  led to a small step towards clarity which led to a lot more fear popping up.

Because the fear was making it hard to connect with what I want, I did the Dream Lab meditation, connecting with the essence of my dream and just holding it in my hands. I set a timer to hold my dream for 15 minutes, but stopped after 5 because I was feeling so super-connected to my dream and excited to begin.

My enthusiasm got bigger than my fear.

And now focus is simple.

For now, anyway, but that’s all that matters.

Want to come play with me?

Focus Pocus Creative Support Group  is starting on February 5 (that’s on Monday!)

You’ll get support for working through whatever stories or patterns that are standing in your way with:

  • four live calls with me
  • daily check-ins online
  • creative journaling tools + magic for getting + staying focused

Find out more + reserve your spot here.

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