Update 28: Healing the Inner Critic

I set a big goal for my business for 2014: to welcome 800 dreamers into my Creative Dream Circle. And to do this not by getting super pushy about selling ? but to do this with heart and soul and creativity and joy and LOVE.(you can read my original post about this here)

At this point though, I?m not interested in the numbers. I?ve been more interested in exploring how to grow my capacity to serve more creatives in bringing their dreams to life. And I want to explore more about how I want this all to work for me, and how I want to feel inside it.

In support of this goal, I am writing weekly updates on Fridays, for all of 2014. This is where I?ll share the story of all the ups and downs of bringing a big dream to life.

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healing the inner critic

Update TWENTY EIGHT.? I’ve been writing an update every week for twenty-eight weeks.? That’s kind of amazing.

This week I am struck by what is happening inside the Creative Dream Circle.? Huge shifts, deep healing, new openings: the kind of stuff that is really hard to talk about.? But I am so happy to have created this space where this stuff can happen.

Almost everyone has an idea in mind of what it would mean, to be fully engaged with their dream.? And it almost never turns out the way they thought it would.

Instead, they find something softer, richer, more beautiful.

I love that I have created this space for these miracles to happen.? And I love how CONSISTENTLY the miracles happen, as long as people show up for them.

I really believe in what I’m doing and I’m really appreciating how good it feels to have that congruence between my soul, my purpose and my work.

Onto the creative dream update questions:

What happened in the last week?

I’ve been writing a LOT.? I’ve been working on the Love your Life Creative Journal Class. Here I am working on the colouring book/guided journal part, in a cafe on across the street from my favourite park.

PLUS! I made a video for the Love your Life Creative Journal Class. which I am totally in love with, but how can you not be in love with something that is all about loving your wonderful life?

I’ve been drawing a LOT. (Note purple-stained thumb, you’ll see why in the next photo) I started a new journal of mandalas and am filling it up like crazy.

I dyed my hair purple.

(This is me against a purple pillow which matches my hair perfectly)

I’m still growing out my grey, but got tired of the faded-brown-dyed hair, which is just going to keep fading since I’m not colouring it anymore.? So I am having some fun with it while it grows out.? I didn’t colour my roots at all.? Brown/grey roots with purple hair is kind of cool!

This is from am older page in my journal that I flipped through and landed on this week.? Remembering how I felt then, and how I feel now was such a relief.? The work I’ve been doing for the Love your Life Creative Journal Class is really exactly what I need right now.

How do I feel about this?

I’m super happy, but something feels a little off.? Like I wish there was more to report in my update.

Sitting with that, I get: I want to be more structured.? Like I probably don’t need to be doing anything differently from how I’m doing it, but I’d like to be approaching my work in a more structured way.

Looking back to my Monday Morning Creative Genius Planning Session for this week, I see I had FREEDOM, EXPRESSION and DELIGHT working on my team.

creative planning

I definitely had that.? And now when I look back on my week, a tiny inner critic is agitated about not working enough and not being organised enough and blah blah blah.

So, I take the little guy into the Un-Sticking Station and unravel everything until I get to the truth.

Healing the Inner Critic:

EVERY inner critic or fear or doubt holds a part of your truth, so if you just ignore it or fight with it you never get access to that piece of your soul.

That’s why I’m always using the Un-Sticking Station in the Creative Dream Circle.? It dissolves the parts that are not true and heals the wound so you can access the truth.? It’s all about healing the inner critic, fears and doubts that we all have so that we are more free to do what we want to do (this things are holding you back more than you think).

In this case, putting my inner critic into the Un-Sticking Stationg transformed it into a kitten who likes to nap in the sun.

The kitten needs to be cared for.? It does need structure and routine.? Not in a harsh “you have to do this exactly like THIS or else you fail” way, but in a supportive “let me take the best possible care of you because you are the sweetest thing ever and I loooooooooove you” way.

OK, I see what this needs.? A structure adjustment!

What do I need now?

To keep working with healing the inner critic.? And a structure adjustment!? But before I explore this more I want to find out what my dream needs…

What does my dream need now?

When I checked in with it, my dream reminded me that it needed to bounce and zoom this week.? Purple hair! Lots of bike rides! Drawing mandalas! Colouring! BRING IT!

It seems that my tiny inner critic is not that happy BUT my dream got what it needed.

My dream says that bouncing and zooming broke some STUFF loose.

My dream is sorry, but yes I have to deal with that STUFF – noticing old stories and ways of being that need to be healed and transformed.

Taking all this into account, my next mission is:

Deal with the STUFF that got knocked loose.? Work with these old stories and create some new ones.? Healing the inner critic.

Plus a structure adjustment.

OK, kind of in love with how this is working.

I actually AM working within a structure I just kind of forgot!? I made a schedule of classes for 2014.? These classes are what I wanted to bring to the Circle in 2014.

These specific classes hold the qualities of what I need on the path with this dream.? So I can trust this schedule as my structure.? Now, suddenly, all the playing and zooming and bouncing actually does fit in with the structure.? This is how I am working with the energies of the Love your Life Creative Journal Class? and how I’m getting set for the next classes I am creating, the SUPERHERO class and the MANDALA class and the MAGIC JOURNAL class.

This is how I am doing the ongoing work of healing the inner critic and the fear and the doubt that keep me from my dreams.? This is how I’m activating my superpowers and growing the Circle.

It’s all coming together so perfectly and sometimes I forget to trust that.

Writing this update felt like a huge healing.

PS: There is still ONE spot left in my small group coaching for teachers/healers/coaches/helper-people who want to help more people. Is it yours?? Get it here.

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