How To Grow Your Dreams When You’re surrounded by Dream Doubters and Negative Nellies

How To Grow Your Dreams When You’re surrounded by Dream Doubters and Negative Nellies

You want the people closest to you to support you in pursuing your dreams.

But what if they don’t?

It’s one of those things that a lot of dreamers feel alone in – but it’s actually really common.

Personally, I have experienced a lack of support as “external evidence” of all the things my inner critic was saying – I’m not good enough, I’m not ready, it will never happen anyway so why bother?

It’s not fun!

It can be really easy to let it derail you from your dreams – like every time you try to step towards your dreams you end up stepping into all these hurt feelings so why bother?

But that’s not what you want.

You want to be free to live in a way that feels true for you, which includes having space to pursue your dreams.

You know how I always say that facing the obstacles will grow you?

This is definitely one of those times.

This lack of support can feel like an impossible situation but it’s not impossible and working through it will grow you.

It will grow your faith in yourself and your determination to make your dream real.

It will show you just how capable you are to do the things that need to be done to give your dream some space to grow.

If you’re in this situation there are a few things you can do that will help.

One way to approach this is to just let your hurt feelings stew and marinate and turn into resentment and anger until you can just blow up at the person and then go after your dreams in a cloud of anger and “I’ll show you” energy.

Not super effective but for some people that is the only option.

What I would suggest is to take a gentler and more direct approach – because the person who is not being supportive of you didn’t just decide to be a jerk about your dream for no reason.

Maybe they’re afraid to see you take a risk. Maybe they don’t want you to get hurt. Maybe they’re embarrassed about your dream because they’re embarrassed about their dream.

Maybe they’re so uncomfortable about their own dreams that they don’t want to face that discomfort so they don’t want to talk about dreams. Maybe they just don’t want things to change.

There are a lot of reasons why people have a hard time supporting other people in going after their dreams.

So treat it gently. Be mindful that this person’s lack of support probably stems from their own hurt/scared places inside of them.

AND be mindful of the fact that you get to choose to pursue your dreams. No one can actually stop you from that.

So get clear with yourself about what you are and are not willing to compromise on.

I mean when I say that you get to choose to pursue your dreams, I’m not encouraging you to abandon your children to run off to Vegas to become a showgirl.

I’m saying there’s a way to make some space in your life for the sparkle and magic that you crave.

And then you can tend to the magic and sparkle while you tend to the other parts of your life as well.

And then grow it all into something that feels more true to you.

That’s what all dreams are at their core – your soul calling you towards your truth.

You can trust your dream. Moving towards your truth is not going to ruin your life-  even though some of the people closest to you may be afraid of exactly that.

So once you’ve spent some time deciding where you are and are not willing to compromise – well you might not have a problem anymore.

I mean it really depends on what your specific situation is.

Once you’ve spent some time thinking about where you are and are not willing to compromise, you might realise that you just need to start spending 15 minutes a day writing your manuscript and that it doesn’t matter if this person has a negative attitude about it.

Or you might need to hide certain things from certain people. Or learn about energy work to visualize “deflecting” their less-than-helpful comments about your dream so they can’t get you down.

You may need to just find the determination to pursue your dreams regardless of a lack of support. (Because your dream needs you, it doesn’t need anyone else)

Or you may need to work out a deal with this person to start making some small changes in your life.

Sometimes exploring what you are and are not willing to compromise on leads to you needing to have a discussion with the person who is not being supportive about how you feel and what you need.

Whatever happens, if you keep exploring you’re going to find a way to work this out so you can start growing your dream.

I know it’s hard. But no matter who isn’t supporting you or how you feel about it – you can’t let it stop you.

When I started doing my creativity workshops my co-workers would laugh at me when I talked about it at work.

When I decided to quit that job and pursue the Creative Dream Incubator full time, my parents wished I would reconsider because they wanted me to be safe and have enough money to take care of myself.

It’s normal for the people around you to not support your dreams, especially in the beginning.

This is just one of those things you’re going to have to overcome on the way to making your dream real.

Your dream is YOURS. Like – it picked you for a reason. It showed itself to you. It didn’t show itself to your parents, spouse, friends, co-workers and neighbours.

They just can’t see it yet – and that doesn’t mean anything about how viable your dream actually is.

Unfortunately a lack of support is one of those things that almost everyone has to overcome – which is also fortunate because it means I have a lot of experience helping people overcome it!

So let’s explore this together in more depth:

Creative Dream Coaching Circle: How To Grow Your Dreams When You’re surrounded by Dream Doubters and Negative Nellies

The call is happening live online on Tuesday, April 18 at 1:00 pm (Central, North America)

Yes it will be recorded and you can even email me your questions ahead of time and listen to my answers in the recording.

Community. Advice. Ideas. Healing. Support. Cheering. Creative Dream Super-Fuel.

Gather with me, and a group of creative kindred spirits, and we’ll work on making our dreams real together.

You’ll get honest advice and feedback about what you need to be doing to make your dreams really happen.

And space to be real about how hard it is sometimes, and how amazing it is at other times.

It’s the kind of supportive creative community we all wish we had in our everyday lives.

I know I over-use this word, but there isn’t another way to say it: Creative Dream Coaching Circles are *magic*


We meet online via live, streaming video. You can type your questions to me and I’ll answer right there on the spot or you can come on the line we can chat (you will need a webcam for that option).

Each coaching circle has a specific topic. I’ll start by sharing some thoughts and ideas and then we’ll have lots of time for coaching, questions and exploring together.

Can’t make it to the live event? No problem!

All coaching circles will be recorded and you can even email me your questions ahead of time and listen to my answers in the recording.

The cost: Just $25 US a call (or free, for Creative Dream Circle members)

Sign up for this callOr

Find out more about the Circle

Sign up here or find our more about the Creative Dream Circle.