Everyone likes to talk about the Law of Attraction but there is another spiritual law that works hand in hand with it, the Law of Sacrifice. (Creative Dream Circle members: there’s a 15 minute video on this in the Circle right here)
Of course getting a dream is amazing, but the sacrifices we have to make along the way are sometimes painful.
Like right now I need to sacrifice my beloved Dream Loft to make space for my new dreams which are emerging. I’ve known this was coming for some time, and am just now starting to take actual concrete steps to make it happen.
I’m feeling a lot of different things about this:
- Sad: I’m going to miss this place.
- Grateful: I got to be here for the past seven years, I’m grateful for the open space and amazing light and how perfect this has been as my live/work space.
- Excited: My new home and work space is only going to suit my needs better, even though there’s no way it’s going to have the same huge windows.
- Nervous: About how overwhelmed I may get in the process of selling, buying, moving and likely renovating
- Annoyed: About all the work involved
I’m feeling these things, but I am remaining committed to my decision.
I am committed to moving forward with my new dream.
Last night my friend and real estate agent came over for dinner and so we could talk about our plans. We had done some research and spoken to the people at the credit union already, and were really happy that she confirmed that our plan makes sense and in fact we may get a little more for the loft than we thought.
I was especially happy to hear that she doesn’t think we need to do things like take the bike hooks and my 20 foot high papier mache art installation off the walls and repair all of the walls before showings start. She said it’s best to keep our stuff in place to give people a sense of how we live there, because as much as everyone loves open concept it is tricky to figure out where to put your stuff when you’ve just got open space.
So getting ready to sell the loft won’t be as much work as I thought. And selling it will likely be easier than I thought. Good.
The new dream:
As you know, I got married last year and became a step-mother. My life is more complicated now and the loft just doesn’t really fit.
We knew this all along, but didn’t make a move sooner because we weren’t sure what to do, plus my husband and I both really love the loft. I mean – 2 storeys of wall to wall floor to ceiling south facing windows! So sunny and so much fresh air on nice days.
We’ve also been talking a lot about what kind of life we want to create together and what we’ve decided to do is buy rental property. We’ll start with a duplex, live in one suite and rent out the other and use that rental income to finish paying off the mortgage and then buy more rental property.
My husband used to be a carpenter and can do all sorts of repairs and renovations. I used to be a landlord and am really good at using my intuition to make good tenant choices and budgeting and planning. So this feels like a good way for us to work together and create a better future for us.
Plus the neighbourhood near where his kids live with their mom is full of large, 100 year old houses that have been turned into multi-unit homes. It won’t be hard to find what we’re looking for there and we can stay close to them (we’re a 5 minute drive from them right now).
It’s a good solid plan.
But when we start looking at what kind of place we’re going to buy, everything gets tricky.
We fall in love with homes that are out of our price range. Like technically we could afford them but that changes the long-term plan and how quickly we can buy more rental property.
Or we start to talk about staying where we are and switching from a 2 storey loft to a 3 storey so we have the privacy we need (those ones have some separate rooms). But that would mean saying goodbye to creating our rental property business together.
Then when I tell him about all the mixed feelings I have right now about leaving the loft he starts to figure out how to buy a duplex and keep the loft – which could be doable but doesn’t make sense as we still need more privacy than we have here.
So all of this exploring other options, falling in love with different houses, talking in circles about if it’s really time to make this move – all of this just takes us away from our dream.
It stops us from moving forward because it splits our focus.
We are not going to be able to step into this new dream until we get and stay focused on our next steps, which is selling this place and buying a duplex.
This doesn’t mean I’m never going to feel sad about leaving my loft or wistful about buying a fancier house. I get to have all of the feelings that I have.
But I do need to choose which feelings I actually act on.
I have to focus on the steps I need to take *right now* if I want to get to the future I want to be in.
These steps may be painful or uncomfortable or hard or scary. Which means I have to trust my plan so much that I am still willing to take those steps.
So that’s the first step to getting truly, magically focused: You have to be SURE about the thing you’re focusing on.
This means really exploring it so you can go in with your eyes wide open:
- Take the time to weigh your options, give ALL of your feelings space – explore your fears and doubts and hopes and wishes.
- Really look at how far out of your comfort zone your dream is going to take you and make sure you have the tools and support you need to make sure you can handle it.
If you haven’t taken the time to get crystal clear sure about what you’re doing you will absolutely be swayed off the path before you have a chance to get anywhere.
Not because you’re “bad at focusing” or whatever story you tell yourself. Just because you didn’t get yourself a chance to get good and truly grounded in the decision you’re making.
So let’s get focused:
Take the time to weigh your options, give ALL of your feelings space – explore your fears and hopes and wishes.
Deciding to “just think positive” kills dreams! If you’re alive that means you have fears, doubts and inner critics inside you. Thinking positive does not change this fact.
When you don’t give these “negative aspects” space, they have to get sneaky about how they express themselves.
They will show up as a lack of focus, procrastination, lack of opportunities, too many “other things” to do to be able to give your dream what it needs etc, etc, etc. Fears, doubts and inner critics are experts at making excuses look like reasonable and unshakable reasons why you don’t have your dream right now.
Lack of focus is almost always caused by un-examined fear.
It’s one of the great ironies of making dreams real that actually facing fear and giving it space to express itself actually stops it from having so much control over your life.
Really look at how far out of your comfort zone your dream is going to take you and make sure you have the tools and support you need to make sure you can handle it.
Be realistic about how much you and your life will change as this dream comes true and how scary some of those changes will be. Be clear about what you have to sacrifice in order to have what you want. Face it head on.
Remember that wanting to have your cake and eat it too will keep your focus split, which will make it impossible for you to be able to bake your Dream Cake!
Waiting to feel ready just kills your dream. What you need is a plan for having the support you need to move through the (sometimes terrifying!) changes that your dream will demand.
Give this some real thought and come up with some ideas for what’s going to help you.
Of course, I suggest checking out the Focus Pocus Creative Support Group, starting February 5 and includes:
- live group coaching calls every week (4 in total)
- daily check-ins with the group (I’ll send you an email every day with a link to that day’s check in and some questions for you to answer)
- simple tools for maintaining focus (they’ll be creative and playful of course)
- a process for getting back on track when you get off track (because pretending you’re not going to get off track and not having a plan to get back on track is how most people fail)
I am really looking forward to diving into this deeper to explore how we can set things up to help us stay focused on our dreams.
I don’t believe that some people are just bad at getting focused, I think it’s just that some parts of making a dream real are terrifying and so we naturally lose focus as a self-preservation thing.
I do believe that with the right tools and support, anyone can stay focused long enough to move themselves towards their dreams.