Before I start I want to say that if making New Year’s resolutions is making you feel shitty right now, know this:
Your fear or discomfort is NOT a sign that you can’t have what you want.
After over a decade of coaching people through the process of making their dreams real I can absolutely promise you this. Everyone gets scared. It never means that your dream is not possible.
It just means that dreams are scary.
Now, I don’t do resolutions or pick a word of the year – but I do like to map out my vision of how I want to move my dreams forward each year.
I mean I think it’s all semantics anyway. Some people feel better about resolutions, some people feel better about having a word of the year, some people feel better about having a vision.
So I’ve been working on my visioning for 2018 and it’s been really uncomfortable! Like – I keep putting it away because it’s just too uncomfortable to sit with it.
This is especially annoying because I have this idea in my head of what New Year’s visioning looks like – lots of chai lattes and candles burning and joy everywhere.
After exploring why I was so uncomfortable I realised that I am afraid to write some things down because…
- What if I don’t get them?
- Would that make me a failure?
- What if it turns out it’s a pain in the ass to make this happen?
- What if I work as hard as I can but I still fail?
- What if that’s just impossible for me?
- Is that too much? Am I being greedy?
There is a part of me who wants to stick to achievable goals because then I can feel good about achieving them.
And also – I teach this stuff so shouldn’t I always succeed in my dreams or else I am a shitty teacher?
But as I sink into those questions and feelings, luckily my inner wisdom starts to speak up.
“Ummm no, your work as a teacher is to walk your talk. It’s about being in the process, and finding the magic in the healing and growth that your dreams lead you to – it’s not about the outer results.”
And suddenly I am remembering that the healing and transformation that come from being in the process are so much richer than the outer results anyway.
Plus – yes our outer lives do tend to shift and change to reflect the inner changes of this work. Just not always in the ways we think it will when we start out.
And there is no magic in playing small and dreaming of achievable things. ALL of the magic lives in that place where you’re stretching yourself and growing your possibilities – but there are a lot of scary things that live there too.
Are you brave enough to face those scary things so that you can have the magic of following your dream?
Like what’s actually more important to you? Being comfortable or going after your dreams?
That’s the question to start with. And if you are willing to fight for your dreams, then your work is to figure out how to make yourself feel safe + strong enough to face the scary things.
What kind of support do you need?
The next question is to explore WHY you feel so shitty. I wrote my list above, your list may be different.
Then take your reasons into the End The Year on a High Note Obstacle Release Ceremony (available for free until Jan 9!) and work through them! Don’t let them stop you from doing everything you can to make your 2018 as amazing as possible.
I wrote this post a week ago.
Since then I have been spending time with my reasons for not wanting to dream big in 2018 and doing the Obstacle-Release process on them.
And in that time I have felt enthusiasm, optimism and excitement for 2018 start to grow within me.
Today I am delighted every time I get a new idea for something to add to my list for 2018.
I feel free and full of magic and ready to make Big Shit Happen in 2018.
In other words: Facing the uncomfortable stuff that gets in the way is what makes space for possibility to grow.