I don't know how to show up lately. How about you?

NOTE: So this ended up being kind of rambly - but I'm posting it anyway because of how it all comes together in the end. I mean this is how journaling works.   Every morning I write a blog post in the Creative Dream Circle. I write about what’s happening with me and my dreams, all of the ups and downs and the tools and approaches I use to stay grounded on the path and keep moving towards my deepest and wildest dreams. Since I've been doing this, I've been at a loss for how/what to write on my blog. Because I write differently in the private, safe space of the Circle than I do in the public space of my blog. Though I've always challenged myself to be open and vulnerable in what I share. Like I have all sorts of practices and processes for handling vulnerability hangovers, because I have so many of them. I think that as a teacher this is important - I need to be a role model for walking my own talk and sharing my stories has always been my natural way of doing that.

Social media gets a bad rap for being fake because people are only sharing their highlight reels.

But I think it's just human nature. We're careful about where we share the hard parts, as we should be. We need to protect the places where we're vulnerable. Yes, we also need to remember that everyone else is doing the same thing, and remember not to compare our insides to their outsides. But it doesn't mean people should start sharing *everything* on their social media channels. We need to feel safe before we can share the vulnerable stuff. So I'm feeling unsure about how to write for my blog and unsure about how to show up on social media - Facebook in particular.

I don't know how to show up lately.

I did a week of free classes via Facebook Live (Dreams & Angels) 90% because it felt like the Angels were telling me to do it and 10% because I wanted to experiment with new ways of showing up on social media to try to find something that feels right. I LOVED doing Dreams & Angels. AND I could feel how there were all these places we couldn't go to because we were on Facebook. Because dreams are just too vulnerable. And it used to feel ok to share some of this vulnerable dream stuff. But lately somehow it doesn't feel ok.

The world is changing.

We all know this. There are terrifying things happening everywhere. And it keeps getting worse. We keep thinking it can't get worse and then it gets worse. Facebook, as our global virtual water cooler, is where we go to talk about it. And we absolutely need to talk about it, we need a way to process our feelings around all this terrifying stuff. But then it starts to turn into something else. I mean it's all so dramatic! We end up glued to the drama of it all. We get angry. We debate. We give it far too much of our precious energy. We shift out of "talking about it to process our feelings and figure out how to be a force for good in the world" and into "giving our power away to it". We can only ever be focused in one direction.

Of course, I vote that we all remain focused on our dreams. Because I trust our dreams to lead us to where we need to be.

But, because it feels like collectively there's been this shift towards focusing on the drama of everything that is unfolding around the world, it's like it's become harder than ever to focus on our dreams. BUT at the same time, there are new possibilities opening up right now like never before. We are being called like never before. There is universal support for our dreams pouring in like never before. The world needs our dreams more than it ever has.

And here we are, collectively sticking our heads in the sand.

I mean that's how it feels every time I look on Facebook. WHICH MAKES TOTAL SENSE. We're being called like never before. Collectively our dreams are growing, becoming more clear. This is always scary because answering that call and making that commitment to your dream means you have to deal with whatever it is that is keeping you from being more committed to your dream right now. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of change. Fear that you are not good enough to pull it off. OF COURSE we'd rather do anything other than face this shit. I get it! And I'm not offering some kind of magic wand that you can wave and suddenly you've got your dream via instant manifestation. I'm inviting you into the deep work of healing, transformation and growing towards your full potential and purpose - this is a complete 180 from the collective energy that is there on Facebook right now.

So - how do I show up?

I'm know here to help support creative people through this shift that the world is asking of us right now. Maybe Facebook is no longer the place for me to show up. Oh HA! Maybe I just wrote all of this to come to that conclusion. Because when I say "I don't know how to show up lately" actually I DO know how I want to show up in my Creative Dream Circle where I write a new post every day, I do know how I want to show up in email for the people who signed up for the free Your Dream Is Waiting For You To Come True class, I do know how I want to show up on Instagram and Pinterest. It's just Facebook where I feel lost and like I can't fit in. And leaving Facebook feels kind of scary because that's where everyone is. As an online business owner don't I have to be where the people are? I mean - no. No I don't. I can look at the analytics on my website and see that VERY few people come to my site from Facebook. Google and Pinterest is where I need to be so people can find me. So do I have my answer?

Now I'm wishing I hadn't written this out in a blog post because it turned into personal journaling and this is no longer a thing I want to share.

Because I don't know that I am ready to actually DO this. I just know it looks like a good idea. But! Oh! OH! THAT is an energy pattern that kills dreams and it's one of the things about Facebook that isn't working for me. A culture of people shying away from sharing their real wishes because it all feels too vulnerable. There is so much power in those vulnerable wishes! So. This is my vulnerable wish. To just leave Facebook. And focus on showing up online in ways that feel nourishing. I mean I don't know that I will DO it. But I am going to put my wish out there (yikes that feels scary!) and just sit with it for now - see where it leads me. I do wonder if it will lead me to think of a whole new way to be on Facebook, something I can't see right now. And I think I'll be back here soon with an update about this...