When sadness makes it hard to move forward
There is all this stuff I want to do today, but I feel too sad to do any of it.
The sadness is taking over and making it hard to focus on other things. But I sill keep trying to do the other things which pushes back against the sadness and I stay stuck in this weird tug-of-war.
OK, sadness, I'm sorry. I know I should give you space, I just... well I wish you weren't here.
Sadness just stares at me blankly.
I mean, not that I don't love you, the part of me who is sad. Oh shit. Yeah I guess I am not acting very loving towards you, am I?
Sadness starts crying.
I give it a hug.
"I'm so sorry. When you get sad I do try to disengage and that leaves you alone and stuck in the sadness. That's not fair. When I can stay present with you, there is space and energy for you to feel through your sadness."
But I keep jumping back, disconnecting with it because I am afraid of what feeling this sadness could lead to.
A Wiser Me steps in, puts her hand on my back and says "You can do this. You are more than strong enough."
I hold my sadness in my arms and lay down.
With my heart open and willing to be present to what I am feeling, the feeling has changed. Sadness isn't telling me these horrible heart-breaking stories anymore, or projecting into a scary version of the future.
There's just this energy flow.
Sadness becomes vulnerability. Vulnerability becomes healing. I feel soothed.
Really? It's that easy? Because a few minutes ago I was caught in this horrifying sadness...
I wonder if I can trust this sense soothing I'm feeling now.
My Wiser Me explains: You were reacting to the stories you were making up about your sadness, and then getting stuck in your reaction. When you snuggled up with sadness with an open heart and a wiliness to be present with what is actually happening, you pulled yourself out of that reaction. You came back to yourself.
And now? Now I feel like I can get to work on my creative projects.
Sadness, who isn't sad anymore, is cheering me on.
In this way, I carry my sadness with me as I move forward with my dreams.
Sometimes we think we need to get rid of our sadness or our fear or our self-doubt before we can move forward.
Not true. You need to take all of you on the journey.
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