On calling myself a WRITER even though my Inner Critic thinks this is ridiculous
Since that blog post about Show Up. Tell The Truth I have been thinking about this thing I've got where I can't claim the title of WRITER for myself.
I make art for ME. Most of the art I make I never share. Even when I do share it, it's usually not because I want to share the art itself, it's more about sharing the inspiration behind the art.
And yet I easily claim the title of ARTIST.
I write for myself in my journal all the time. I can claim the title of journaler.
Writing, like the kind of writing I am doing now where I am typing it into a blog post with every intention of sharing it, is different somehow to this inner critic!
I mean this is just fascinating to me.
So let's do this! I am inviting my Inner Critic to have a conversation with me about why I'm not a writer.
Inner Critic does NOT hesitate, he just jumps right in.
IC: Oh you know why. Writers are intellectuals. They wear corduroy. They drink a lot. They are night owls. They have tumultuous relationships. They are irresponsible with money. They have a big vocabulary. They love language. They love reading all of the classics and then talking about them endlessly while staying up late drinking!
IC: You are NONE of these things!!!
OK wow. Hardly any of those things have anything to with writing. Can you see that? This is like the ridiculous beliefs that society has about artists. I am none of those things either and yet I'm an artist.
IC: But you've always been an artist.
Oh. Now maybe we are getting somewhere. So writing is different because I didn't start doing it until later in life?
OK. So why does that matter?
Why does it matter that I didn't start writing until later? How does that INVALIDATE my entire writing experience? What about those artists who don't start until they're in their 60s or later? Aren't they artists?
IC: That's a lot of questions to throw at me...
You're avoiding answering them.
IC: Well.... I don't know.
IC: Yeah those artists who discover art later in life are artists. I guess they're artists. I mean WHY didn't they always know? Shouldn't they always know? But this is not about THEM. If YOU were a writer wouldn't you have always known? Because you DIDN'T. And you've always been an intuitive person.
I just had a memory flash of being in high school and deciding between fashion design and journalism for university.
IC: Oh whoa. I forgot about that.
I chose fashion design and then TOOK CLASSES in art, visual communication, design... I was TAUGHT visual art. I would never have called myself an artist BEFORE that... If I had chosen journalism I would have learned writing.... so that means...
So what if it's true that I get to claim ANYTHING that is calling me? I get to be an artist and a fashion designer and a writer.
IC: God, that's so pretentious.
OK. Lots like I'm going to have to use The Inner Critic Cure on you.
(a few minutes later)
When I use the Inner Critic Cure and the inner critic is all full of love and reveals it's truth:
This Inner Critic DESPERATELY wants to be a writer and is TERRIFIED of being made fun of for it or not taken seriously because he doesn't fit in with other writers.
And I feel a huge sudden shift in me.
I want to be a writer, I want to claim this for myself.
I doubt this would even change anything about what I DO, since technically I do write all the time, but it would change how I FEEL about myself and my work and my creativity and my options.
I feel at peace with this now, and excited about making more space in my daily routines for WRITING and sharing my writing.
PS: My next coaching group is starting May 6. It's called: Upgrade your Creative Engine. Generating momentum for Artists, World-Changers and Dreamers.