Are you holding back?
(This artwork is from my new deck of Journal Cards for Dreamers which is coming soon!!!)
I know there are people out there who say that ALL obstacles are self-created. That YOU are the only thing that stands in the way between you and your dream.
I don't believe that.
We live in a world that is fairly hostile towards dreams. It's FILLED with obstacles and we're rarely given the kinds of space and support we need to create our best lives.
The external obstacles that are in your way are REAL and they are REALLY hard to deal with.
It's also true that your inner gifts are MUCH MORE POWERFUL than any of these obstacles.
Your inner wisdom, your creativity and passion, your inner strength and courage. You are magic! You are a POWERHOUSE.
Even though you will NOT always FEEL LIKE a powerhouse. It's just the nature of growth - it's impossible to grow while staying safe inside your comfort zone.
Each time you face the hard parts you deepen your capacity to live as your true self.
You GROW through the inner work. It's NOT all about working through the fear so you can keep moving towards your dream as fast as possible. Deepening your capacity to be with the hard stuff will grow you in ways you can't even see right now.
Twenty years ago, I was living as a starving artist and my big obstacle was MONEY.
I did NOT care about the inner work, I didn't want to learn how to sit with the hard parts - I wanted money to pay my rent. I thought the money was more important because I didn't have it.
And now, twenty years later, I am stunned by all the ways the hard parts have grown me - now that growth means so much more to me than money. Because the deep inner work helped me find my True Self - healing on the deepest levels.
And now I am willing to face the hard parts because I know two things:
How uncomfortable it is when I let my fear hold me back (I mean in trying to avoid discomfort I am left... UNCOMFORTABLE)
How FREE and HAPPY and INSPIRED I feel when I don't hold back - enough though of course this means I also feel awkward and vulnerable sometimes.
Part of me wanted to hold back this morning. It didn't want me to send this email/blog.
"Ummmm come on, you already sent out one email/blog about hard stuff inviting people to the free class this week. Isn't that enough?"
First off - if I have stuff to say then it's my job to say it. What kind of Creative Dream Incubator is this if I'm holding back on sharing what I feel inspired to share?
And also - this "unconscious hold back pattern" is EXACTLY what is stopping people from signing up for the free class! Which means it's my job to NAME IT which takes it's power away.
I KNOW how scary it is to STOP holding back.
But it's NOT scary because holding back is inherently safe <--- That's an unconscious belief that tends to keep us stuck, that we stay small to stay safe.
Holding back is NOT all that safe because it keeps you cut off from your power. You're always safest when you have access to your inner power and wisdom and agency.
You FEEL like holding back is safe because it buys into the illusion that we can stop things from changing.
And deep down you believe that same = safe.
We all do.
And then your dream comes along and demands CHANGE. NEW. EXCITEMENT!!!
So OF COURSE you hold back. Of course we ALL hold back!
I hold back because visibility is REALLY awkward and vulnerable for me.
And also: I want people to like me. As much as I don't want to want this, I still want it. And it is a HUGE dream killer.
So my work is to be aware of these places in me, and NOT let them get into the driver's seat.
When you know WHY you hold back, then you can decide: do you want to let this part of you run the show or would you like to try something else?
Remember: you're not choosing between "holding back and being safe" and "taking a GIANT SCARY LEAP into the unknown" you can choose the pace you move.
I believe that the teeniest of baby steps are usually the best way to travel in dream land.
You don't have to steamroll over this part of you who is afraid!
I think "feel the fear and do it anyway" is the WORST.
I think "feel the fear and bring it love and healing and a sense of SAFETY so that you can move forward without terrorizing your scared inner beings" is much better.
And this is what we're doing together on Friday in The Hard Parts Are Where The Magic Happens FREE healing circle + inner work workshop.
Deep and transformative inner work is my favourite thing to do, and there are SO MANY misconceptions out there about how to actually do this work. So I want to "be the change" and offer this class, for free, so we can do the work together.
So come do this WITH me!
Free Online Healing + Magic Circle.
This is for beginners and seasoned experts alike because we ALL benefit from doing this work together, in the inspiration and magic of a Healing Circle.
It's NOT a webinar or sales pitch or anything like that - it's a REAL workshop and healing circle where you can experience the DEEP MAGIC of inner work. I've even invited my clients and students to attend.
Get instant access to the replay: