I've been Comparing Myself To My Heroes And It's Been Ridiculously UN Helpful
I used to idolize my heroes, teachers, mentors and role models.
I would make up whole stories about them... how they handle certain situations, what their daily lives look like, how they get that amazing work done...
And in a lot of ways it was helpful! Like, when I felt stuck I would turn to these stories to help me find a way through. Just like WWJD? I could ask myself what my heroes would do and it really did help.
But a lot of the time this idolizing was NOT helpful.
I was making up stories where I would come up short. Like, "I'm sure so and so doesn't take breaks to play Plants vs Zombies on her phone." (Even though, as I was laying on my couch playing Plants vs Zombies - I was feeling JOY)
But something has shifted.
Instead of running these stories in my head and then berating myself for not measuring up to them, I've started asking a question: What would make me happiest right now?
It's funny how vulnerable and slippery this question can be!
I know EXACTLY what would make me happiest in most moments but the answer comes with a long string of BUTS.
But I shouldn't want that.
But I did that yesterday.
But I need to get this stuff done.
But do I really get to prioritize happiness, like all the time?
But but but but but but.
One small example: working out of coffee shops makes me happy. But I have a part of me who doesn't think this is ok. "I'm sure So-And-So can just work quietly at home."
See, the coffee shop thing used to be VERY important because I lived alone and worked for myself - even as one of the world's most introverted introverts, I needed to get out of the house sometimes.
But I don't even need that as a reason. My daily routine just flows better when I GO OUT to a coffee shop. Going for the bike ride or walk makes me happy. Being out in the world in the morning makes me happy. Sitting in a coffee shop journaling or writing or drawing makes me happy. Going for another bike ride or walk to get back home makes me happy.
I'm giving up JUSTIFYING why.
It makes me happy is reason enough.
Wearing clashing patterns and colours. Knitting and learning macrame. Watching trashy Netflix shows. Painting rainbows in my journal. Going out to watch the sunset or look at the moon.
There is a new me being born. A me who trusts her joy more deeply.
I mean clearly I have trusted my joy for some time - you can see it in how I live my life.
But now I'm finding a new layer of it.
And lots of things that used to seem more important than joy now seem less important than joy. The hierarchy is shifting.
And I love it.
In my business, I am asking the question "What would make me happiest right now?' instead of "What can I do today to move towards my goals?"
And I am DELIGHTED by how it's shifting my daily routines. And I actually believe this is creating even better pathways to get to my goals.
But that doesn't meant that this is the right question for YOU.
One of the gifts of doing deep Inner Work is that you find the stuff that is right for you.
The questions to explore, the practices and approaches to try... real Inner Work is about exploring your own edges, and those edges are continually changing.
I LOVE navigating this ever-changing landscape.
In Dream Book we go deeper into all of this - it's a container for exploring your own process more deeply.
You get TONS of support and new content every week to help you explore - but you're also encouraged to personalize your Dream Book for yourself and to listen to YOUR inner wisdom about how to work with everything.
Dream Book starts on Dec 20 - find out more here.