Everything is impossible today.
For all of January I've been working on clearing some space so I could focus on some BIG GOALS I have for this year.
So here I am: with a week mostly clear to work on these big goals.
And what am I doing? Anything but focus on my big goals, of course.
In this moment, trying to bring myself to focus and get to work feels IMPOSSIBLE.
So, I am focusing on my resistance instead. Sitting with it, getting curious about it, exploring where I can bring some light and space and healing in.
My resistance is grey clouds. Not heavy clouds just... well they FEEL heavy. They make ME feel heavy.
The clouds think I should just watch Grace and Frankie and knit all day. I worked hard all month, don't I deserve that?
Yes of course I deserve that, and can even do that - AFTER my new lavender coloured linen/cotton blend gets here and AFTER I have this work that I really do want to do.
Now my resistance is saying: You know what? We should go on an AMAZING creative retreat to work on this stuff away from everything.
OK that's actually a really good idea, and since this is a goal I want to work on all year, we CAN make a plan to do that - but not right now.
Right now I need to focus on these next steps I want to take.
My resistance feels it would be so much more fun to just dream about creative retreats.
And I need to stop letting my resistance change the subject, and focus on the matter at hand.
I want to make progress on this scary project.
Wind blows and the grey clouds of resistance become a brick wall. I spread out a brightly coloured blanket in front of the wall and sit down on it. I pull out my Dream Book and paint pens.
Starting small, I make a list of things I WOULD LIKE to do this week. No pressure to follow through, I just want to see the list out of my head and on paper.
The wall leans forward, peeking over my shoulder to watch.
And it turns out there are only 3 things I would like to do this week, and putting them into the Dream Book changes them.
Now they feel do-able and FUN.
The brick wall has some graffiti on it now - super creative artwork. Some inspirational quotes and "follow your dreams" type stuff.
I put my Dream Book down and focus back on the wall of resistance.
So - it looks like you're kind of coming on board with this now?
The wall forgot how much FUN it is to pursue those BIG goals. How it lights me up to play with them.
I place my hand on the wall and a graffiti heart appears under it. I send love to the wall.
I do love the wall, I love all forms of my resistance because I know it's trying to protect me. I am so sensitive and easily overwhelmed and it has SO MUCH to try to protect me from.
But it doesn't need to protect me from this.
I am ready.
I hope you're going to join me for Dream Book!
Dream Book is a GENIUS journaling system to help you navigate all of the inner work and outer work and obstacles and healing and special challenges your dream has for you.
It's helping me go deeper and be braver.
It's already helping hundreds of people - every week someone writes to me in tears over how much things are changing for them because of this work.