It’s easy to feel like you should KNOW what your dreams are, but NOBODY always knows.

Creative Dreaming is about listening to yourself, and letting your inner wisdom guide you through life instead of following the paths in the outer world.

This gets so complicated because we have so many layers of… stuff.  Conditioning, belief systems, trauma. All the ways we put on masks to try to fit in and get approval from the world because it can feel unsafe to be who we really are.

Creative Dreaming asks us to work through all of this and find what is really truly YOU.

We’re going to get tangled up along the way. We’re going to get lost. These are just inevitable parts of the path.

The people out there claiming to always know the truth, to never be lost, to never feel scared, to always have that clear sense of direction about what they are doing - most of these people are so disconnected from themselves that they don’t even know how they feel. And in our culture, these people become leaders! I mean politically and economically but also - the well known healers and coaches in the new age and wellness communities.

When you can allow yourself to be LOST to feel scared or broken or however it is you feel - then you are on the right path.

Creative Dreaming will always ask you to work THROUGH these parts of the path, and not resist and avoid them.

So, there are a lot of layers and it all gets very complicated.

And dreams shift.

With so many changes in my life, I need to change my dreams FOR NOW. What’s calling me in this stage of my life?

Healing. Softness. Spaciousness. Gentleness. Creativity. Rest. Nourishment.

Making this list feels FRUSTRATING. 

My heart tightens up. I want to go do something else.

I don’t want to think about what’s REALLY calling me right now. I want to move forward with my projects as though nothing has happened. I want my step-kid recovered and out of the hospital. I don’t want to be in this messy part of a recent separation I want to feel grounded in my new life. I want to avoid all of this.

But that’s the other thing about creative dreaming.

It needs you to be HERE.

WHERE YOU ARE.

You can only create from the present moment.

So HERE, WHERE I AM, what do I dream of?

Softness. SLOWING DOWN. A winter-long healing retreat in the loft.

I’m going to get a pages going in my Dream Book for these dreams: dream page and dream self page for the things I need in this season of my life.

Dream Book members:

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It’s POURING outside, like CRAZY RAIN and I decided I HAVE TO go to the bakery and get fresh bread. It’s only a 2 minute walk but that’s plenty of time to get absolutely soaked but I did it anyway.

And on the way back I noticed the little portulaca flowers on my patio.

And then I remembered my creative dream garden in the meditation at Co-Dreaming on Monday. In my garden, lots of things were dead and it was like “this is the season for things to die. This is what the harvest IS. Things will grow again in spring.”

And it felt VERY uplifting. And my whole body really FELT the message, that things do die and it’s a part of life and everything is ok and I will be ok.

Coming back in from the bakery, seeing my flowers, brought it home even more.

I’ve been planting portulaca flowers in this one little pot I have, every year. Portulaca are annual flowers that do really well in a ton of sun with little water, so they were the only thing that felt appropriate for this smaller outdoor planter I have because my patio is super sunny, so I got new ones every spring.

The patio is stone. After a few years, portulaca started coming up between the stones! The flowers were seeding themselves and I loved it.

After a few years of that, the portulaca started MIXING COLOURS!!! They created new variegated flowers and new shades of orange and salmon - from mixing yellow, red, pink and white.

It was SO delightful.

Then, this year we got a new company taking care of the yard who sprayed weed killed (AKA PLANT KILLER!!!) on all of our patios. And then, this year I couldn’t find portulaca for that pot!

And so nothing came up in the patio. All those new colours of flowers, gone.

But then at the end of July some portulaca plants started coming up. And they started flowering in September. And now, at the beginning of October, when I got back from the bakery and saw the little flowers on my patio what I thought was:

I hope these flowers hurry up and die.

Because I need them to go to seed before winter, so that next year there will be new flowers on the patio. 

Capitalism wants us to ALWAYS be producing. ALWAYS be growing. This isn’t what life is though.

Your creative dreams want you to be more YOU, and less a cog in the machine. They will ask you to be more present with the fallow times, with the dying things, with all part of your miraculous experience in this world.

With that in mind, my creative dream practice for today is journaling. Just follow my thoughts and feelings and see where they go.

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

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I’m thinking a lot about what it means to show up for your dreams, and keep showing up for your dreams, no matter what is happening in your life.

Of course the easier your life is, the easier this is to do.

But life isn’t always easy.

You know how much I loved my husband. But things happened that were beyond our control and our marriage fell apart very quickly in August. As much as I know that this is the right thing, as much as I still feel really good about my future, the separation has been brutal.

On top of that, one of my step kids has been in the hospital for almost three weeks and it’s looking like they are in for a VERY long and difficult road. The stress of this isn’t like anything I’ve experienced before.

I don’t mean to keep repeating my sad story. It’s just where I am.

This morning I’m in my favourite coffee shop. They are a bakery with a wood fired oven and I just had a fresh quiche tart. I’m in my favourite spot, at the bar by the window where I can see the world go by. There are plants everywhere and they’ve decorated the windowsill with little pumpkins. This is also where I am.

Showing up for your dreams no matter what is happening in your life isn’t hustle culture or “make it happen no matter what” or spiritual bypass or any of that nonsense.

Our creative dreams always ask us to be more present with where we are and what we’ve got going on. Our power and magic are always in the present moment.

So right now my creative dreams need me to honour this difficult season I suddenly find myself in. They need me to acknowledge how hard this all is so that I take care of myself appropriately.

Every step you take builds the path. Showing up is the only way to build the path. 

Otherwise you just go with what this toxic culture we live in tells you about who you are and what is possible for you and how you should show up. And that path will never lead to anything good because it leads you away from yourself.

And through all of this, I know I’m moving towards myself.

Some days don’t feel like it, of course, but no one step defines the whole path.

And, I think, that’s the big thing to remember when you’re creative dreaming through the hard times.

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

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There is still A LOT happening for me. The family member in the hospital is up and down and it’s a scary, stressful situation on top of the upheaval of my marriage ending…

AND

Some days I wake up feeling good. Trusting life. Excited about my future.

Isn’t life amazing?

Today I’m focused on the guided journal project.

The artwork is done-ish (probably edits to come once I see it all together) and I have to get the details nailed down. Title, subtitle, description, etc.

I’ve given this project SO MANY NAMES. I’ve described it SO MANY WAYS.

I always try to write descriptions that are as accurate as possible.

I remember this one negative review I had about a guided journal I put out years ago. It was the “hello day” journal. And the description said that it was “one of my favourite practices” and this one person was SO ANGRY that it was all one practice! In the review they said “this was described as “your favourite practices” but it’s only one practice!” like they literally cut off part of my sentence to change the meaning and then got mad that my work didn’t match their description of it??

People can be pretty determined to see what they want to see.

And I think about all of this when it comes time to name and describe things.

And that can make it harder to just… do the thing in the way that feels right.

So how do I want to do this today?

If I don't meditate on it, if I don't get as aligned as possible with the soul of the thing and my purpose for doing it, then I am working from my feelings about all of this, unconscious fears and doubts, ways I try to "fit it" with the market - all that garbage really does infiltrate our minds and severely impact HOW we do the thing.

So I’m using the Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice meditation, but focused on this journal instead of my work in general. Seeing that light landing in front of the person the journal is for.

I pause the meditations A LOT when I use them. I can get SO frustrated hearing me talk, lol! I use the guided mediation to get into the meditation and then I really want to be free to explore on my own and not keep following the prompts. But then other times the things I say in the mediation are so helpful I want to listen. So I pause to give myself space to explore on my own, then come back to the recording.

[post meditation]

That was so good. I am seeing this in a whole new way and feeling really inspired.

The title I was thinking of does not feel resonant for the people the book is for. I have new ideas and I am excited to play with them today.

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

FEEL worthy and receptive of your dreams is message I got from my dream in the Dream Lab some time ago.

I worked with it for a while and then did two calls: Feeling worthy and Being open + receptive.

Now I have it as a “to do item” in my project management app (Notion). So I see it there every day, and then move it into the next day.

I’m really sitting with it today.

Where is worthiness in my body?

How is worthiness operating in my inner world?

Where am I open?

I have, at times, experienced the quality of receptive as this sparkling, electric sensation in my whole body. Where is that now?

I love the way all of my inquiries into worthiness begin with me, as an individual… am I worthy?… but quickly sink deeper into a sense of collective worthiness and what we all deserve as humans.

Holding space for the fact that we ALL deserve it makes it easier for me to hold a sense of worthiness for myself.

But I am not super receptive right now. I am in that healing cocoon that I was dreaming about yesterday,  I feel a bit pulled in, withdrawn, and this feels appropriate.

What DO I want to be receptive to?

Soothing. Nurturing. Anything that helps hold my nervous system stay calm and steady. Spaciousness. Creativity. Lightness. Forgiveness. Optimism. Naps.

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I don’t know what to do today.

But I AM having a lot of feelings, so I went to the Inner Work section of the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy.

I noticed the practice for working with disappointment and knew that is something I need AND I am not ready. I felt a definite full body NO. That’s a deep practice which will be helpful when I’m not feeling so raw.

The thing that called me for today was: Qualities

I haven’t been using the weekly kits (though I want to start using them again) so I just picked the quality I want:

soothing

And did the Qualities Activator meditation with it. I stopped at the journaling part, I just did the short meditation with the quality.

Soothing came in as tears. My body shaking. Intense crying.

And I was like “No this isn’t what I wanted”

But then also “Oh yeah tears are healing. This IS soothing. This IS a release”

So I sat with it and started to feel soothed.

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.