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I don’t want to do any of this.

I am working on the new DREAM SPREE!!! project.

I have a few hours in my schedule to work on implementing some of the amazing ideas I've gotten....

And....

I'm just sitting here.

Why am I not doing this?

My mind tries to grasp at multiple excuses, can't get a firm grip on any of them, and just freezes.

I don't know.

And I hear "I just don't want to do any of this"

This is soooo common.

I've coached so many people through the process of getting CLEAR on the HOW and making time and space and then that magical day comes when it's time to get work....

And they don't.

They don't get to work. They don't know why. And they say something along the lines of "I don't think I really want to do this"

And I ask "Well what would you like to do"

And they talk about going back to the drawing board, coming up with a new plan for a new dream.

They're lying to themselves. Just like I'm lying to myself right now.

It seems really weird that when we get to that moment when we have both a plan and a the time/resources to implement that plan, that THIS is when we get stuck.

In a sense, this is the EASIEST PART! It's the part where we get to finally DO the thing!!

But in reality, this is one of the HARDEST parts.

This part is VULNERABLE AF and so this is where your inner stuff will throw the biggest possible hissy fit to get you off track so you don't have to feel the discomfort of ACTUALLY FOR REAL STARTING.

I just added a video about this to our Library of Creative Dream Alchemy Videos.

I recorded the process of how I worked through this, and added it to the library of Creative Dream Alchemy processes.

So that the next time you're in this situation, you can work through it with me.

It is SO MUCH BETTER to not do this alone. Alone - your inner critic can hold you back forever while having you believe you have no other options. In Dream Book - we'll get you taking steps TODAY.

Dream Book members: the video is here

I don’t want to do any of this. Read More »

NEW VIDEO: There’s no such thing as a person who “doesn’t follow through”

"I don't follow through" is not a part of who you are. It's not your inner truth.

Not following through is a symptom of something else.

And saying "I am just a person who doesn't follow through" stops you from figuring out the CAUSE of that symptom and exploring WHY you are not following through.

And it stops you from figuring out what would help you follow through on the things you really do want to be doing.

Listen. "I am just a person who doesn't follow through CANNOT be the truth of who you are because it means that your dreams are impossible.

And they are NOT.

This video leads you through a process of untangling some of this so you can make some different choices and create new options with your dreams.

Keep going.

"Not following through" is a SYMPTOM and to change this for yourself, you need to work on the CAUSE.

To start: You need to explore and work with the thoughts/feelings/ideas that came to you in this video.

This is the work that will detangle this "I don't follow through" story and give you space to create a totally new story for yourself.

Free Resource:

The Hard Parts Are Where The Magic Happens Healing Circle and Inner Work Workshop

Do this workshop using "I don't follow through" as your obstacle and you will find a way to work through it.

Guided journal!!

The Build The Path By Walking Guided Journal is ALL ABOUT the follow through.

It will guide you through the process of taking steps, and learning as you go.

Grab your copy here.

If you're in Dream Book:

Remember that EVERYTHING you to in Dream Book is helping you to dissolve un-helpful patterns and create new nourishing dream-growing patterns.

So every time you show up for ANYTHING in Dream Book, you are doing this work.

Any time you get lost: Here is the checklist of everything in Dream Book. Go to the next thing on that list and follow the link.

But to go deeper into this inner work:

Check out The Library of Creative Dream Alchemy: Inner Work Practices

Start with the Un-Sticking Station but if you notice you are not doing that, then go to the video for when you are avoiding the Un-Sticking Station.

KEEP DOING THIS. The Un-Sticking Station will absolutely show you what you need to do to change this for yourself. You just need to keep showing up and working with it.

Also:

Read the daily mastermind posts for daily reminders to come and join me in doing the work.

Do the new moon alchemy calls to set intentions for what you want to focus on over the next month.

Try the Focus Pocus 21 day program for getting focused.

I am mentioning all these things NOT because you need to do them all!

It's just that creative people need options.

Pick the one that appeals to you now and just do it.

Your dreams are counting on you.

You got this.

NEW VIDEO: There’s no such thing as a person who “doesn’t follow through” Read More »

Dream Spree

Last week I started something new. I'm calling it the DREAM SPREE.

I've invited EVERYONE in Dream Book to contact me, to let me know where they're at with their dreams and what kind of support they need most right now.

I'm going through ALL of the Dream Book content, looking at where I can make improvements to make it more helpful.

I'm asking for feedback from members about what they'd like to see in the group.

To me, the DREAM SPREE feels like if a bunch of fairies put on a "dream work party" to help all of them all move forward with their dreams.

That energy of celebration and magic and enchantment and dreams and MOVING FORWARD MORE QUICKLY THAN USUAL.

I know this is what I need right now, and I don't think I am the only one.

The response has been amazing.

Obviously, Dream Book is full of really smart creative people, so they've already sent in a ton of really smart and creative ideas.

AND they're sharing about their edges - those hard places they are up against as they move their dreams to the next level.​

I am offering to work with EVERYONE. To help make sure you get what you need from Dream Book. NOW.

If you've been thinking of joining, but aren't sure it can help with the things you are facing now - this is the ideal time to join.

You can use the DREAM SPREE to end 2021 on a really high note.

It's been a rough year and a half. I'd really like to see us end 2021 on the highest possible note.

As always, I believe that listening to our dreams can show us the way there.

This is NOT about hitting our goals or necessarily even accomplishing anything.

It's about ending more deeply in the process of listening to what we are being called towards next.

And then being brave enough to hear our most honest answers.

Are you with me?

I'd love to give your dreams a BOOST!

Join Dream Book today to get in in on the Dream Spree.

Dream Spree Read More »

My Printable Year of Dreams 2022 Planner

The Year of Dreams 2022 Weekly Planner, Visioning Journal + Creative Dream Playbook is here!

It's available as a full colour printed book from Amazon worldwide, and as a printable planner. (Details on both are here)

I am using the printable version, which is a little bigger and offers a TON more space for customizing.

I CAN'T WAIT for 2022 and to start using this planner.

It's got MORE open space than any planner I've ever used.

Once I printed it and held it in my hands it felt like such a gift. SPACE and SUPPORT for a much deeper process than just planning my weeks. It feels like exactly what I need for 2022.

Plus it will be RELENTLESS about reminding you about what's most important to you.

You can't forget your new year's goals when your planner keeps reminding you!

I just can't wait to use it.

I wanted my planner to be strong enough to paint on and bound in a way that makes it easy to use.

I always paint in my planners and they never hold up well to the paint and I wanted this to be paint-worthy paper. Also I like the idea of a HEAVY weight planner that can stand up to all sorts of creative play.

And I wanted it coil bound, so I could flip it over to make it easy to write in AND ALSO I want to be able to move pages around and especially ADD PAGES anywhere. Some weeks I need more planning space. And with the visioning journal at the beginning, I may want to add more pages there as I go through the year and my plans unfold and dreams grow.

So I used a disc-bound system. If you haven't tried it - it's a miracle!

I started with this paper punch from The Happy Planner - doesn't matter which brand you get, but you do need a "mushroom punch" and not a hole punch.

And then I got these discs, also from the Happy Planner, to bind it. You need to make sure you are getting the right sized discs - too big or too small and the pages won't hold together as well. Since I used such heavy paper, I needed the largest discs.

You could also just us a binder, or get this printed at a copy shop where they can coil-bind it for you.

The paper:

I looked around - A LOT - for paper that was the same texture on both sides and MUCH heavier weight than regular printer paper. There are a LOT of options out there - especially when you get into cotton and linen papers.

The options available will vary depending on where you are. So I'll share what I used, but know that maybe you can find something better where you are. You can also get actual watercolour paper in letter size to use - though depending where you are, that can get really expensive since you need almost 150 sheets for this and probably wayyyy more than you need for a good, sturdy creative planner.

I got Accent brand 100 lb paper.

Normal printer paper is 20 lb. My Staples has printer paper up to 32 lb.

100 lb is a LOT heavier. It might not work with all printers - on mine it did get jammed a few times.

If it gets jammed and you have to stop and re-start the printing - you have to be especially careful about where you re-start the printing, since it needs to be 2-sided printing and a lot of the pages are printed on the wrong side. I made a few mistakes when mine jammed, but only ended up wasting a few sheets of paper.

Still to come: Laminating the covers

I just started painting the covers and there's lots more I want to do still before I can laminate them. But it's an important step to make the whole planner sturdier to bringing around with me. I loooove doing my planning in a coffee shop (when we're not in a pandemic lockdown)

But honestly, it's so big and heavy I am more likely to take the week's sheets out, tuck them into my big journal, and bring that to the coffee shop, and then put them back into the planner when I get home. I do love that the sheets came come out and go back in like that.

Once they are decorated I'm going to laminate the covers really thick and 1" bigger around so that the covers protect the paper inside.

So far from what I have read, the easiest way to do this is to get self-lamentation sheets at the dollar store, or I may just take the pages to a print shop and have them do it.

>>> Check out the Year of Dreams 2022 right here.

My Printable Year of Dreams 2022 Planner Read More »

Get The Magic On Your Side Guided Journal

It never ceases to amaze me how many different ways there are to get stuck with a project.

Like you write a brilliant blog post and then when you go to share it, you re-read it and suddenly it's crap and you wonder why you even bother to try.

Or you finish the whole first draft of your book but are paralyzed by the editing process.

Or maybe everything was going fine, or so you thought anyway, but you just don't seem to be making time to work on it anymore.

Or maybe you get to a part where you really have no clue what to do next.

Or maybe a global pandemic strikes.. and just never seems to end.

The thing is - stucks are a part of the process.

I know. This sucks.

But the faster you can ACCEPT that stucks are a part of it - and have a PLAN for working with them - the faster you can get back into the flow!

This is the Inner Work of getting your project done.

It's the part where you face your fears.

And re-write your old stories of "I can't do this because"

This is the part where you step into this BRIGHTER BIGGER ore CREATIVE and BRAVE version of yourself.

This is the part where you BECOME the version of you who can COMPLETE the project.

This is my favourite part.

This is what we do in the Get The Magic On Your Side Guided Journal.

You start with some simple tips & tricks for successful Inner Work

Inner Work can be discombobulating!

I won't tell you HOW to do this because this is really a practice in listening to your inner voice - but I will offer some structure and guidance to help you get the most out of your work.

✨✨THE REST OF THIS JOURNAL IS THE MAGIC✨✨✨

This is how you will ALWAYS have something to DO with your project - because you can always come into this journal and PLAY with your project.

Whenever you're stuck with the Outer Work, you've got a whole journal to fill with Inner Work that will guide you back into the creative flow with your project! There are also some all-blank pages for you to create your own processes, or continue what you were doing on the previous page.

* If you're doing the Build The Path By Walking Guided Journal for the Outer Work, this journal will give you enough Inner Work to go along with it.

This journal will, literally, help you get the magic on your side so don't stay stuck with your project.

Every time, ANY time, you get stuck with the Outer Work - you've got a whole journal full of processes for engaging with the Inner Work of making your project happen.

This makes ALL the difference.

Get The Magic On Your Side Guided Journal for your Impossible Projects

This is a guided journal for navigating the inner work of getting your "Impossible Project" done.

(Inner Work = The Stuff That Makes The Outer Work Possible)

It comes as a full colour printed journal from Amazon, or a black & white PDF file you can print yourself.

Get your copy here

Get The Magic On Your Side Guided Journal Read More »

Build The Path By Walking

You know you're ready to DO this thing. So why are you not getting started?

This part, where the rubber meets the road, is just ridiculously awkward.

I mean - how could it not be?

How are you supposed to know HOW to do the thing you've never done? You can't.

You have SO MUCH inspiration and enthusiasm and you freaking LOVE this project - but all of those good things can't tell you HOW to do do it.

You can start taking steps, or just wait around for the path to magically appear.

This is what Build The Path By Walking means. That you recognize that this path isn't going to build itself, that there isn't a way to already know how to do a thing, before doing the thing.

So you dive in. You start trying thing, making mistakes and before you know it - you are learning as you go.

Easier said that done, right? That's why I made this guided journal.

Here's how it works:

This journal will offer encouragement to be awkward and make mistakes and not know... while also holding space for you to figure it all out.

This journal won't show you HOW to do your project because those answers are in YOU - it will guide you through the process of creating your own way.

I'll show you how to use the Build The Path By Walking method to NOT get tripped up by mistakes and fumbles along the way.

This can't be said enough: making mistakes and mis-steps and having it all fall apart is a TOTALLY NORMAL part of the process.

There simply isn't another way to do a thing you've never done before - other than to copy someone else's path, which is always a recipe for disaster.

Because YOUR project needs you to do it YOUR way.

So I PROMISE you that by trying the things you feel inspired to try, by respecting your ideas enough to test them, and by following your own creativity and inspiration, you WILL create your path.

These worksheets are the thing that turns "trying things, making mistakes and having no clue what to do next" into "learning and GROWING with each step".

You get detailed explanations on how to use each part and you'll see this shift is easier than you think.

Each time you finish 6 steps, you get a prompt for reflecting on your progress.

This is the second layer of "learning and growing as you go". These prompts have you looking at your process in different ways, to help you see different things in it.

All of this prompts are meant to spark new insights to help you with your next steps.

So, as you keep taking steps and reflecting along the way - each new step you take GETS EASIER.

This journal will coach you through the process of taking 54 steps with your "Impossible Project".

👉🏻 Once you've done that, you'll have both MOMENTUM and DIRECTION with your project.

You will have built part of the path and you'll know what to do next!

By using the Build The Path By Walking method to take each of these 54 steps, you'll learn an incredible amount about what your project needs, and what you need, to be able to complete it.

Build The Path By Walking Guided Journal for your Impossible Projects

This is a guided journal for taking steps, figuring it out as you go, and making remarkable progress on your project.

It comes as a full colour printed journal from Amazon, or a black & white PDF file you can print yourself.

Get your copy here

Build The Path By Walking Read More »

You Can Do This

It's normal to be all tangled up about whether or not you can actually do this thing.

EVERYONE feels this way at the start of a new project. And EVERYONE feels alone in it. Like their stucks are totally unique and unsurmountable.

I mean of course you also feel inspired and excited and ready to get to work... but you're not actually GETTING to work.

This is just how it is at the beginning stage, there are a lot of conflicting feelings.

And it takes time to work through them all, to get to that place of feeling grounded, clear and ready to DO the thing. For real.

When you first get the idea to do the thing, parts of it are supposed to feel impossible.

This is because your project will GROW you.

So yes, it's impossible - to the version of you that you are today.

But jumping in and ENGAGING with your idea will help you grow into the version of you who IS ready to do this.

That's why I made this journal.

Here's how it works:

The prompts lead you through the process of detangling the tangles.

Having a lot of conflicting feelings about your project makes it especially difficult to get stuck in them. Feelings need to MOVE and it's so hard for them to move when they're all tangled up together.

This journal will help you make space for ALL of your thoughts and feelings about this project, which will help you de-tangle it all.

Then you'll start to see the project, and your ability to DO this thing, in a new light.

You'll learn about your "Impossible Project" and how to work with it

"Impossible Projects" is another way of saying "Creative Dreams" which is something I have learned a lot about.

It's a thing you really, really want to do but you also aren't sure you CAN do it.

Impossible Projects tap into your most heartfelt wishes, truest inspiration and deepest self doubt and fears - all at once!

This journal will help you find ways to work on it, without making ANY of your feelings wrong.

You'll look at your project idea, and how you could do it, from a ton of different perspectives.

The thing about how your Impossible Projects grow you - it means if you just look at it from your currently-self everyday perspective, you're going to stay stuck.

You've got to stretch your mind a little and look at it in different ways so that the path can come into focus. You remember the "magic eye" art from the 90s where you'd stare at a pattern and then a 3D image would eventually appear? It's like that.

And the journal will encourage you along the way.

I know EXACTLY how hard it is to engage with a project idea that you really want to do, but also feel conflicted about.

I know EXACTLY how BRAVE it is to dive in and do this work.

So the journal offers all sorts of of encouragement along the way.

This journal will coach you through the process of getting ready to actually DO your "Impossible Project".

Once you've filled it in you'll have PROJECT CLARITY.

You'll either be ready to start taking steps with your project (which the next journal in this series can help you do) OR you'll know, for sure, that this isn't the right thing for you to do right now.

👉🏻 Either way, you'll stop all the ambivalence and what-ifs and you'll KNOW what to do next.

You Can Do This Guided Journal for your Impossible Projects

This is a guided journal for untangling doubts, freakouts, ambivalence, and getting ready to actually do your project! For real!

It comes as a full colour printed journal from Amazon, or a black & white PDF file you can print yourself.

>>> Get your copy here.

You Can Do This Read More »

Jacqueline opened her etsy shop!

No one EVER starts out already knowing HOW to do their dream.

It's just part of the nature of having a dream.

And yet, something about not knowing how can easily trigger us into feeling it like it's impossible.

That's where Jacqueline Manni was just one month ago, about opening an Etsy shop to sell her gorgeous art.

And then last week she sent me this message:

 

I joined Dream Book a month ago because I really wanted to start an Etsy shop with my artwork in it, but didn’t know how or even if I should (unworthiness gremlins!).

Well, that first month of journaling, affirmations, coloring, and videos got me through it, and I now have a new Etsy shop!

It really does feel like a miracle because I didn’t know the first thing about how to do any of it, but working with you inspired me to take the leap even though I didn’t feel ready.

Here is my baby

In Jacqueline's words:

I chose to share this painting, Morpho Eugenia, first because of all the palette knife work!

When I first wanted to paint many years ago I took a studio class, and would lay down about three brushstrokes an hour — I was petrified of making a mistake! My teacher noticed and told me to buy a palette knife and use it instead of my tiny brush. I warily bought it, stared at it for a few weeks, put it away, and didn’t start using it until last year! Now I can’t imagine working without it. It’s turned into a bit of a talisman, representing how much healing I've done around my artistic practice.

I also chose this painting because it incorporates another big love — literature.

It was inspired by the novella Morpho Eugenia by A.S. Byatt, which is one of my favorites. I finally got painting after studying literature, which led me sideways into Book Arts, which then led to painting. I incorporate so many things I learned in bookmaking into my paintings, too — this painting is backed with decorative paper as a reference to endpaper, for example. Plus the ephemera. I just love paper, and work on paper as much or maybe more than canvas.

Finally, I chose this painting because it takes into account my darkness as well as my light.

Although there is a fair bit of whimsy and butterflies and such in my work, there is also a gravitas and even a sadness. I’ve been letting that come out more and more, which feels really good and true. The reason I want to paint, and have a place where people can see my work, is because I want to make my soul visible. I can’t do that without both light and darkness.

Go check out her whole shop - it's gorgeous!

And I hope her story inspires you to think differently about what FEELS impossible for you right now.

Jacqueline opened her etsy shop! Read More »

In a meditation last week, I saw how my own relationship with my inner power got thrown this last year and a half.

power meditation

In this meditation I saw how my inner relationship with my power could use some work, to bring it back into alignment.

I saw how this will make EVERYTHING easier: like meeting my business goals for this year and putting my new guided journals out there, but also just having a fun life outside of work too.

Our world is profoundly messed up when it comes to power.

It feels like our power gets taken from us by these huge systems we live in, like capitalism, white supremacy, the patriarchy, and also in smaller ways all the time.

Like we don't have the power to CHOOSE who and how we want to be.

And sometimes we really DON'T.

And sometimes we really DO, but we don't see it.

Calling your power back is about being more powerful in how you show up for yourself.

This makes it easier to live your outer life in alignment with your inner truth.

I originally did The Superpower Creative Journal Class in 2014, and in that meditation the other day I was given the message to do it again.

I was shown how I need this POWER-UP for myself so I can meet my goals for the rest of 2021.

So I decided to do it as a group thing, because I am sure I am not the only one who needs this right now.

The Superpower Journal Class is a deep-dive energy healing of your relationship with power. With creative play and glitter markers.

It's an energy-shifting healing circle, with a guided journal full of processes to help you HOLD ON to that shift, and bring it into how you life your life.

 

It's happening August 24 at 1:00 pm  Central, North America.

To find out what time this is in your time zone, use this link. Enter the above date + time and for location choose Canada: Manitoba: Winnipeg. Then, under place to convert to - put your location.

Included in the class: 90 minute live Zoom class + the recording, 28 page printable guided journal and mandala colouring book.

Here's what you'll need:

  • 90 minutes to listen the class or attend live (you may want more time to keep journaling afterwards, or you can come back to it another day)
  • Computer/phone/tablet with internet connection to listen the audio class
  • Printed copy of the Superpower Journal Playbook (or you can keep it on your computer/phone/tablet and do the journaling in your favourite journal)
  • TOTALLY OPTIONAL: Art supplies for getting creative with your journaling - use whatever you like, all you really need is a pen and paper.

The Superpower Creative Journal is only open to members of Dream Book.

You can join us for this class (which is worth way more than the monthly subscription cost of Dream Book) and totally ignore everything else - or you can use this as a change to check out Dream Book and see if it's right for you.

If you've got some dreams and goals to catch up on before the end of the year. Dream Book will help.

In a meditation last week, I saw how my own relationship with my inner power got thrown this last year and a half. Read More »

Ricia published her book!

I am so happy to share ANOTHER book that's been published by one of our amazing Dream Book members:

No Sticks or Stones No Broken Bones: Healing cPTSD when the trauma wasn’t physical; It was naCCT: Non-physically-assaultive, attachment-based Chronic Covert Trauma by Ricia Fleming.

Here is Ricia in a beach labyrinth she made with some friends:

Ricia is a long-time member of Dream Book and a continual source of inspiration to me. I've been DELIGHTED to watch this book take shape over time, but didn't realize until I started reading it this weekend, what an incredible revelation it is.

What Ricia has defined as non-physically-assaultive, attachment-based Chronic Covert Trauma is something that I believe almost all of us suffer from, kind of an inevitable side-effect of late stage capitalism.

It's WHY we struggle to believe in ourselves and go after our dreams with the full force of our creative genius.

So, obviously, I believe this is a very important book for my fellow creative dreamers and encourage you to check it out.

In Ricia's words:

Some of us remember tightening our stomachs and chanting with all the bravado we could muster:

Sticks and stones may break my bones, 

                                                But names will never hurt me. 

How we longed for that to be true. We longed to be delivered from the dizzy feeling, the sensation like a fist in the stomach, that told us how badly we'd been hurt by a name, how deeply wounded we'd been when we were left out, humiliated, or abandoned.

Many decades as a psychotherapist have compelled me to respect these intangible wounds. Like many of my colleagues, I have become convinced that these wounds, especially those that recur in a child's relationship with a caregiver, are often serious enough to be accurately classified as trauma. The name I've given them is (naCCT).

The reality of naCCT was brought home to me in my work with over 4000 people challenged by such problems as anxiety, depression, addictions,and physical pain. Their struggles testified to the power of naCCT.  And their triumphs demonstrated that healing is possible.

 Recovery takes a lot of nerve.

Here is a map of the recovery process from the point of view of the adult survivor of naCCT, grappling with the cPTSD it caused. what you are going to do, how you are going to do it, what tools and resources will help you do it, and special tips for success, what to say to yourself and what to do for yourself.

No Sticks or Stones No Broken Bones: Healing cPTSD when the trauma wasn’t physical; It was naCCT: Non-physically-assaultive, attachment-based Chronic Covert Trauma

 

On writing the book:

Writing the book is a record of what I experienced as a hero's journey to validate myself and puzzle out an answer to the question: "if nothing was wrong, what's wrong with me?"

As I wrote the book, the me that is a struggling human being and the me that is a professional therapist came together, merged and integrated. "Physician, heal thyself," This is the story of how PatRicia J. Fleming Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Ph.D. in English, detective and researcher in the mysteries of the human soul, came to apply her professional expertise to her own misery and learn to trust her own experience and validate herself. It is not a memoir. It is a record of discovery. The exercises, the healing activity interludes, are very like those I did myself. The footnotes and references are not to lifeless articles in dry as dust archives, they are the life-saving words of validation and sanity given to me by my friends in books, guidance given to a lost child searching in a bramble wood by marvelous wise beings send by higher powers of love and wisdom. I hope what I write will serve that guidance function for readers.

Going through the experience of writing this book, I learned that a door to healing opens when you turn toward the very things about yourself and your life that you want to avoid

--the painful moods, distressing physical problems, embarrassing behaviors, unhappy relationships and situations. Instead of just bashing yourself for having these difficulties and trying to will them away or sweep them under the rug, pay kind respectful attention to them.

Pay attention to troublesome symptoms, especially when you have dismissed the possibility of trauma in your childhood.

Dignify your distress. Trust your present experience, especially body based experiences such as painful body/feeling states (including depression, anxiety, and physical sensations, even including pain), the nature of relationships, and attempts at self-medication (e.g. addictions). Welcome the insights they give you into your true story, your total life experience and what lessons you may learn in this lifetime.

Honor that experience, respect it, take it seriously. Provide yourself with compassionate witness and gentle guidance, free from self-hate, shame, and moral condemnation.

Attending to present distressing moods, physical symptoms, troublesome relationships and annoying behaviors can lead to knowing and appreciating your true life story, developing the ability to gently guide yourself in new directions that will bring you to a place of greater joy.

Get the book here!

Ricia published her book! Read More »

When you’ve been accused of cultural appropriation in your spiritual, wellness or coaching business

Photo by Content Pixie on Unsplash

You've been accused of cultural appropriation in your spiritual, wellness, or coaching business.

You have nothing but good intentions.

You don't know why people are being so mean about it.

Everything you try to do seems to make it worse.

And you're not sure what to do next.

Your reaction is normal.

Notice how you are feeling, notice where those feelings are in your body.

If you feel afraid, ashamed, angry, defensive, righteous....

If your skin feels hot.

If your blood pressure has risen.

If you are breathing fast and shallow.

Just notice everything that's happening in your body. Notice the thoughts that are repeating in your mind. Notice your reaction.

You need to give yourself space for this, or else you'll react from your reaction and that will make everything worse.

You're a wellness practitioner or a coach. You have tools. Use them.

What do you need to do, to soothe yourself and come back to center?

Do it now.

You need to be grounded, centred, and able to listen to perspectives that are vastly different than yours.

You need to open your heart wide enough to see the pain you've caused.

At this point, you probably still want to focus on explaining your good intentions.

I promise - this is NOT the time to explain your good intentions. Trying to do that WILL make this worse for you.

You have an opportunity here.

This situation can help you grow and learn how to become an ally to the people you respect enough to honour their traditions or practices in the way you are doing.

I understand - you had good intentions, you meant to honour, but people are saying you are NOT honouring, you are appropriating.

This is an opportunity for you to learn what it would look like to ACTUALLY honour, in a way that those you are honouring FEEL honoured.

The temptation for most healers/guides/coaches at this point is to go into spiritual bypass.

I promise you, your answer is here on earth. Stay with us.

DO NOT speak of "one race" or unity or anything along those lines.

The fact is, the people you have been accused of appropriating from have a VASTLY different life experience than you have because white people are treated differently in the world. Calls for unity erase these realities, erase the pain and suffering and oppression of racism.

Which means: ANYTHING you say calling for unity is actually violent. It's a dismissal of other people's pain. A refusal to acknowledge the reality of what systemic racism does to people.

And, to the people who experience that pain every day, it really makes you look like a clueless ass.

Do better.

This morning, I had an email from one of my students saying "Hey thanks for those new videos you posted yesterday, I am finding them helpful! But I think you uploaded the 7th one twice, so the 8th one is actually missing."

It's true. I made a mistake. I somehow ended up with 2 copies of the 7th video and named them 7 and 8, and then uploaded them that way, and now this person is watching the same video twice.

I said "Thanks for letting me know! You're right, video 8 IS just a copy of video 7! I have fixed it. You can watch the real video 8 now, here it is."

If this person had mentioned in their email that not being able to see video 8 right way had caused pain in any way, of course I would have added an apology and asked what I could do, besides uploading the correct video, to make amends.

We all mess up sometimes. Then we apologize and make amends.

It was easy for me to quickly make amends in the case of the missing 8th video because I didn't have any kind of emotional reaction to what I was accused of.

I didn't waste any time in "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU? I DID NOT UPLOAD THE SAME VIDEO TWICE!!!!!"

I didn't feel attacked, and then react from that feeling and set out to attack my accuser.

No drama was created.

When you've been accused of cultural appropriation online I know it FEELS like something different. It FEELS like being ganged up on and "cancelled".

But really, it's just people letting you know that you made a mistake and your actions are actually doing harm.

Continue to notice if you feel charged, and do your work to calm yourself.

White people respond is VERY similar ways to accusations of cultural appropriation and racism. (You can google it, it's called White Fragility and I promise, everything you want to say to your online accusers is covered there in the descriptions of white fragility responses.)

This is because our nervous systems get activated.

We're afraid.

We feel attacked.

And we attack back.

In the Live Your Best Life Industry, we tend to attack back with spiritual by-pass - all the unity talk and accusing your accusers of "being triggered" and "needing healing" and "I'll pray for you" while placing yourself on some kind of spiritual by-pass pedestal where actually you did nothing wrong.

Accept that you made a mistake.

Cultural appropriation contribues to systemic oppression.

This is because cultural appropriation is NOT just about you honouring or being inspired by a thing from another culture and then taking it and using it in your business.

Cultural appropriation happens within colonial systems that oppress the Indigenous population while supporting the non-Indigenous population.

For example, in Canada and the USA traditional Indigenous spiritual practices were made illegal, as a part of the process of colonization. Those who continued, had to do so at great cost to themselves. Even today, the path of a traditional medicine person is about a million times more difficult than the path of a white online coach or healer.

While those laws are no longer in effect, their effects are still very much in effect.

For non-Indigenous people to come along, and do nothing to help Indigenous people mitigate those effects, and just take the spiritual practices and sell them themselves...

Are you seeing it now?

There is no such thing as Cultural Appreciation. The opposite of cultural appropriation is COLLABORATION.

In this industry, most forms of cultural appropriation are about profiting from the theft and colonization of Indigenous practices.

This is particularly hurtful because the Indigenous groups where the practices come from are still living under the oppression of colonization.

Journal prompts for when you've been accused of cultural appropriation:

Continue to do your work to calm your nervous system, not get emotionally reactive, and consider each of these questions with an open mind:

What is your relationship with the culture you are taking this thing from?

How would it feel to speak, face to face, to a person from this culture, and explain why you are selling this thing? Do you believe that they have had the same privileges in life that would allow them to sell this thing as easily as you can? If they are not making money from this but you are, what would you tell them about why that is?

If this person historically lived on the lands that you now occupy, what do you know about how this land came to be yours? What do you know of how this has impacted the original inhabitants who are still here?

Do you understand the full history of the thing you've taken? How was it originally used? What was the culture around it? How is your culture different?

How are you participating in the healing, decolonization, empowerment, and liberation of the culture you are taking this thing from?

Does the way you are offering this thing contribute anything to the people that you took it from?

Continue to do your work to calm your nervous system and read everything that's been said to you. Where did you make a mistake? Of course you had good intentions, but as you read what's been said to you, are you truly understanding the IMPACT of your actions?

If you want to be spiritual about it: this situation IS happening for a reason.

That reason is to contribute to YOU waking up.

Instead of culturally appropriating - you could be COLLABORATING.

And using your good intentions to make amends and build bridges.

This is a part of the work that builds a better world.

I know you do the work you do because you believe in a better world.

And I hope you trust me when I say: the places where you are culturally appropriating are your blind spots and they're stopping you from being an effective helper in creating a better world.

As white people growing up in white supremacy, we're all hooked into it's power.

Un-hooking is the REAL waking up.

This accusation is your opportunity to begin. I hope you take it.

When you’ve been accused of cultural appropriation in your spiritual, wellness or coaching business Read More »

Janet published her book!

I am SO HAPPY to share with you Janet Gerson's new book: Reclaimative Post-Conflict Justice: Democratizing Justice in the World Tribunal on Iraq.

Janet's deep commitment to peace has been so inspiring to me.

It's easy to feel daunted and "too small" and "what can I possibly do" about world peace, and yet Janet shows up and works hard and brings her all to the process of peace.

We can all learn a lot from her.

Janet is a long-time participant in Dream Book, and she says the Creative Dream Incubator has been instrumental in helping her pursue this accomplishment. Yay!

I know that a lot of you have books in you to share, and I hope Janet's success helps inspire you.

Drs. Janet Gerson and Dale Snauwaert’s forthcoming book Reclaimative Post-Conflict Justice: Democratizing Justice in the World Tribunal on Iraq (WTI) examines the historic case of the WTI’s global civil society tribunal, a creative collaboration organized non-hierarchically to record, analyse, and demand accountability for the 2003 war and occupation of Iraq. Reclaimative post-conflict justice is a new conception for grounding the revitalization of democratic ethics underlying justice and peace. Previous scholarship on post-conflict justice tribunals has been conceptualized along two lines, retributive as exemplified by the Nuremberg Tribunal after World War II or restorative as exemplified by the South Africa Truth and Reconciliation Commission. The WTI enacted a third form, reclaimative post-conflict justice. The WTI’s purpose was not to punishment, nor the restoration of political legitimacy, nor clarification of Iraq’s boundaries, but to enact a democratizing and deliberative model, which exemplifies a dialogical turn in various methodologies of normative justification. Reclaimative justice and its democratic tribunal form exemplified by the WTI are basic elements of post-conflict justice, in that they constitute a methodological procedure necessary for the normative justification and thereby appropriate for key tribunal questions of legitimacy, legality, and accountability, and agency. In this way reclaimative democratizing justice as organized through the WTI’s deliberative and democratizing processes aligns with the methodological procedures of contemporary normative theories of justice.

What was your inspiration for writing the book?

The World Tribunal on Iraq (WTI) was an outstanding global people’s tribunal, one that documented what no government or official institution acknowledged – the illegitimacy and illegality of the Iraq War and occupation. The WTI modelled positive globalization as peace action -- global citizens coordinating justice as accountability, agency, and responsibility.

What does your book do differently to similar titles?

Citizens and people’s tribunals typically publish documentation of their forums. However, Reclaimative Justice places the WTI within the ethical and historical contexts of exemplar tribunals -- retributive, restorative, and alternative. The World Tribunal on Iraq (Sökmen, Ed., 2008) documentary text provides a history of the Iraq war and occupation from the perspectives of international law and state sovereignty, but importantly from violations against people of Iraq, the environment, cultural history, and of global civil society for the right to peace. This book brings out what is most innovative about the WTI’s “creative assertion” – how the WTI Coordination used a democratic ethic of participation, non-hierarchical organizing, deliberation, and consensus decision-making to demonstrate how non-domination, communicative action, and nonviolence can be the basis of justice.

What new insights has the book revealed?

Reclaimative democratizing justice in the WTI demonstrates the necessity of transnational interdependence and a global civic culture for conceptualizing democracy and justice. In the modern era, democracy and justice have been couched in the context of the nation-state. However, the increasing recognition of various dimensions of transnational interdependence -- economic, political, legal, ethical, cultural, and ecological -- suggests that our national conceptions of democracy and justice are outdated. The WTI brought together thousands of people from all over the world, from diverse disciplines, experiences, and even ideologies. The WTI instantiated in practice many of the ideas concerning global democracy and justice that we have understood to have philosophical validity based upon reasoned argument and the standards of normative justification that that reasoning is based upon. It constitutes an enactment of fundamental normative principles that are of great significance for the ongoing pursuit of democracy and justice, locally and globally.

Get the book here.

Janet published her book! Read More »

My new dream: The Creative Dream Incubator Press

I can trace the roots of this dream back realllllly far.

In 2015, I started creating + sending out a weekly journaling kit, and have sent out a weekly journaling kit every week since then!

And then in 2017 I self-published 2 guided journal/colouring books which are no longer available. And, of course, my Journal Cards for Dreamers.

I loved those books and cards, and I had ideas for dozens more, but it didn't quite feel like the right time, and other projects took precedent.

Then in the last year, this dream came back with a vengeance, and with much more clarity and heft.

In hindsight, I can see that I needed to develop my ideas which became Creative Dream Alchemy and the Dream Book approach to journaling while also developing my visual voice (by creating the weekly journaling kits) for how I want to create the guided journals.

Everything fell into place... except the logistics around publishing, printing, sales and distribution. Just that little piece 😉

I've had a lot of ideas for how to do this.

I've done a lot of research.

And I got very tangled up in everything I learned.

This is a TOTALLY NORMAL stage of creative dreams. When you dig in and start looking at all of the details OF COURSE you will get lost in them.

In 2017 I published those books through Amazon because their self publishing system is really simple. They make it easy to sell your book almost anywhere in the world.

BUT seeing how much profit Amazon made during the pandemic while not paying taxes or treating their employees well, I stopped using Amazon as a customer and didn't want to use them with my business.

So I went ahead with a non-Amazon option.... but by the time I had my first journal ready to publish, the retail cost was $200 - plus shipping! It was a GORGEOUS journal with luscious paper but I really don't want these journals to be precious.

Then as I sat with this tangly mess of ideas and obstacles and dreams and wishes I realised that I have only THREE priorities right now:

  1. Dream Book: both as a participant and leader
  2. Making new guided journals
  3. Epic Self Care/feeling good and enjoying myself

That's all.

I don't want to gather and manage a team and build a publishing empire... right now.

And I don't want to keep figuring out the details of the physical journals.

The idea of just making my journals and putting them out there in a simple way by myself feels REALLY REALLY GOOD.

There are no real rules when it comes to your dreams, but for me, the simplest way is often the best way.

You can refine and embellish and expand as you go. But start with whatever way feels do-able to who you are today.

So, for now, I am going back to Amazon.

Later on I can do it differently! In fact, my research showed me an AMAZING way to build the Creative Dream Incubator Press... but it will make more sense to work on that part AFTER I have a bunch of journals completed.

Amazon makes it easy for me to put out there, and easy for people to buy from anywhere in the world.

I've spent A LOT of time and energy working through details and plans and also processed A LOT feelings about this and I am not interested in feedback from anyone at this time. Amazon is not how I wanted to do this AND it's the right way for me to do this right now. I think it's a really beautiful metaphor for how our dreams help us build a better world, but to get there we need to be present in this world, as it is today.

I am now getting ready to publish THREE new guided journals! It's a series called Let's Do This: Guided Journals for your Impossible Project.

It's three journals for the three stages of working on your project:

  1. Going from "OMG I want to do this and OMG I don't know if I can and OMG am I stuck? and OMG this is too hard, is it??!?!" to feeling ready to begin.
  2. A journaling process for creating MOMENTUM out of little steps, and learning as you go. (Build The Path By Walking)
  3. A whole journal of journaling processes for navigating the INNER work of growing into the version of you who definitely CAN do this thing.

Watch this space!

My new dream: The Creative Dream Incubator Press Read More »

How are YOU going to do this?

Get Beyond The Overwhelm

The last year and a half has been A LOT.

But even before that, a lot of things were A LOT

And personally, I am also finding peri-menopause to be A LOT.

It's so easy to get stuck in this kind of overwhelm.

Kind of frozen and unable to move forward and too tired to really even think about it.

This is partly because when we're overwhelmed, we stop doing soothing forms of self care and start doing numbing/distracting/avoiding forms of self care.

Of course, it's totally natural to turn to the things that help us avoid our feelings, or distract us from what's happening.

Totally natural.

AND...

At some point, if you want to go BEYOND the overwhelm, you need to shift away from numbing and towards soothing.

Last week I did Goodbye Pandemic Overwhelm, Hello Dreams class: Sooth Pandemic Overwhelm, Restore Joy + Magic, Grow into your brightest dreams for 2021 class.

(You can get the whole thing right here)

SOOTHE was the first part of the class, because that part has to happen before you can shift into restoring your magic and growing your dreams.

It's how you fill your tank back up.

How are YOU going to do this?

The meditation + journaling class gives you space to do some alchemy work with the quality of soothing, to experience being soothed, and use that experience to spark some ideas of what you need to be doing - the practical changes you need to make in your life, in order to be more SOOTHED so you can begin to move BEYOND the overwhelm.

Later in the class you also connect with your dreams, because dreams help GROW and HEAL us, which can help pull us out of overwhelm too. But it begins with the soothing part.

What came to you during the class about what YOU can do differently, to give yourself more nourishing and soothing?

How are you going to make space to DO these things this week?

It's Monday!

Join me live for Creative Genius Planning: live meditation + journaling for working on your genius plan for this week!

It’s happening on Instagram live this morning at 10 am (Central, North America). , or catch the replay at that same link after we’re done.

We’ll do an alchemy meditation to connect with your intuition and get more clear on what YOU need this week to help move you towards where you want to be.

Then I’ll pick journal prompt cards, for some questions to help figure out HOW to move closer to your dreams this week.

These sessions are MAGIC. Every week I get more emails from people telling me how helpful they are.

How are YOU going to do this? Read More »

Get my free journal for Creative Dreaming: