Creative Dream Incubator

How to move beyond spiritual bypass and lean into your true power to heal and create – and why you want to. (With journal prompts!)

How to move beyond spiritual bypass and lean into your true power to heal and create - and why you want to. (With journal prompts!)

About my post from last week on how Love & Light are used as New Age gaslighting....

Being uncomfortable about other people having human feelings is generally a sign that we are not allowing OURSELVES to have our feelings.

And it's not a crime. It doesn't make you a bad person.

But it does make it harder for you to heal, grow, and create more of what you want in your life.

If does make it harder for you to be the change you want to see in the world.

Because everything you avoid has power over you. Everything you face strengthens you.

We are powerful! We are healers and artists and world-changers.

We can look hard things in the eye BECAUSE we believe in our power to do better.

BUT the New Age/Wellness/Live Your Best Life culture is RIFE with spiritual by-pass.

PLUS it's human nature to want to avoid discomfort.

If you think of a spectrum between:

[full on facing everything like a boss, healing and growing through very little obstacle in your way]

and

[#goodvibesonly I won't acknowledge anything negative and will even shame others for "being negative"]

recognize that we move around on this spectrum all the time.

Self awareness helps!

Reflecting on your own tendencies to bypass helps you be more aware of when and how and why you do this, so you can make more empowered choices.

So here we go...

The journal prompts. How do you know if you are really healing the thing or attempting to spiritual bypass the thing?

 

What happens when a life event knocks you down and you're right up against the thing again (the thing you thought you'd healed)?

Has it changed at all? Or are you up against the exact same thing?

We talk a lot about the healing path being a spiral. But is it?

Are you really seeing your issue in a new light?

Or are you just coming back up against this thing because you haven't actually dealt with it?

Are you sure?

What makes you sure?

If something has changed about how you are engaging with this thing: what is it, specifically?

Are you reacting in the same way that you used to? Don't focus on how you feel, it's easy to "feel like" you're seeing this from a more evolved place. Look at your behaviour. How has it changed?

Spiritual bypass keeps things VERY vague and a LOT can hide in vagueness. So get specific.

You are drawing from your true power to heal and create when you can be specific and clear and un-flinching. Especially when you're dealing with the things you really struggle with.

If you've been using spiritual by-pass as a tool, it will be VERY uncomfortable to lean into your true power instead. You will try to stay vague to get out of the discomfort of facing the thing you don't want to face.

Take the discomfort as a good sign.

And stay with it.

Remember that there is a POWER in being able to face the hard stuff head on, including BEING WITH the feelings that it brings up.

This is the inner work.

It's in processing your feelings about the obstacles where you find the fuel that will help you get beyond the obstacle.

You find your power.

You find whole new ways of seeing the thing, which give you a plethora of new options for how to handle it. You tap into your INFINITE source of creativity which can generate INFINITE solutions.

Because everything you avoid has power over you. Everything you face strengthens you.

I think it's just obvious that your healing and growth tools should STRENGTHEN you.

Which means they won't necessarily make you feel better right in the moment.

Which is why the New Age/Wellness/Live Your Best Life Industry is so FULL of tools that rely on spiritual by-pass.

Which gets confusing.

This is how I handle it:

Inner Work is uncomfortable.

Working with your dream feels good. It's creative and hopeful and casts a bright light.

So the trick is to COMBINE this Inner Work with the Dream Work. And then combine both with the Outer Work of pursuing your creative projects and making changes in your life.

That way it's not just you and your discomfort - you're bringing in light and healing and magic and creativity and possibility to the process.

You are seeing - AND USING - the benefits of the Inner Work right away. This makes it easier to KEEP GOING.

This is the work that will grow your dreams, but it's also what will save us all.

Creative Genius Planning Sessions are Changing

I have been doing A LOT of journaling and thinking and meditating about how I want to put myself, and my work, out there.

There have been a lot of tangles to work through around how the internet culture has changed over the last 10 years, and all the places where I DO NOT want to interact with "business as usual" and... well... I could go on and on about the tangles but I won't. (Not that they are not super valuable to explore but that I've already written about all of that)

Today I am ready to talk about what I want to do next

The Creative Genius Planning Sessions are changing.

When I started doing them I was trying to find a way to offer something useful in a "live on social media" format.

A lot of what happens in my classes is NOT appropriate for "live on social media" it's deep and personal and it needs space to incubate away from the public.

So I didn't know HOW to do it in a free, live, public format , and I really wanted to experiment with it. And I've done that.

At this point, what I want to do is make the Creative Genius Planning Sessions the best they can be.

They are still going to be free. But they won't be live.

I'll be posting them on Instagram, Facebook and You Tube. I'll also be posting them inside Dream Book, where they will come with extra resources plus private space for sharing your goals and getting support each week.

I'm going to post them on Sunday mornings, so they're ready for people in different time zones and people who want to plan on Sunday instead of Monday.

Because these will take a lot more time/energy - I might miss some weeks. Or I might figure out a way to be super consistent with this, at this point I don't know 🙂

I do know these will go MUCH DEEPER than I feel comfortable taking people in a "live on social media" format.

I know - I am still posting these on social media, but I won't be taking questions/comments from people as I go. The thing about some of those questions/comments is that they quickly start to hit places that feel too vulnerable to share in this way. So it feels restrictive because we DO need to be working in those vulnerable places to truly access our creative genius.

In a pre-recorded format, you do the work on your own, in your mind and in your journal, and I don't feel restricted in terms of where I go with it.

I am hoping to have the first one ready this Sunday. Watch this space.

This is going to be epic

I went to the park this morning, to get all the final details ready for today's free class.

The sunlight. The trees. The warm breeze. The iced coffee. It was a perfect morning.

It feels like the perfect day to do this work of:

SOOTHING pandemic fatigue (or whatever needs soothing for you right now)

RESTORING joy + magic (or whatever needs restoring for you right now)

GROWING into your brightest dreams for 2021 (whatever that means for you right now)

I can't wait!

I just sent out the Zoom call details via email.

I'll post the replay here on my blog later today.

Creative dreaming while feeling broken hearted about the world

Image description: My hand holding a journaling printable from Dream Book with a handwritten journal prompt: Dear Dream, Together We Can: In the background is my open journal and journal supplies (watercolour paints, scissors, pen) on a white sheet, which I covered my dining table with to turn it into a giant art table.

I bring all of my feelings to my dream in our daily meetings.

This morning it was: heartbreak, confusion, frustration and anger.

Our ICU beds are full and new Covid cases keep increasing and the anti-maskers anti-vaxers are out in full force, planning rallies and riling people up to fight back against the health restrictions. They don't seem to understand that the only reason the streets outside our hospitals aren't lined in refrigerator trucks full of dead bodies is that most of our elderly are vaccinated. Or that the ICUs being full literally means there is no room for emergency patients.

We're in crisis. This third wave with the new variants is brutal in my city. And it hurts my heart to see so many privileged crying about civil liberties while not giving a shit about community care (or civil rights!). It hurts my heart the way the people who get the short end of every stick are getting the short end of this one.

This is the world I live in?

This is the world I dream in?

Fuck this.

My dream agrees. Fuck this garbage culture that allows atrocities to happen every day in the name of capitalism, colonialism and white supremacy.

But my dream doesn't feel heartbroken about it like I do.

My dream feels determined and says "Hey. This is why you dream. I'm here to help."

I've long dreamed of a world that supported EVERYONE in pursuing their creative dreams and unleashing their true potential.

A world where we all have a safe place to live and enough to eat. Where we grew up with love and nurturing and stability and encouragement.

A world where resources are used to support all life and the hoarding of resources is unheard of.

A world where you don't even need therapy and coaching and magic to heal and grow your way into your true self. It's just the way of life and the whole community supports it.

A world where you feel inspired and excited to do a thing - so you do it! You just DO your dream. You don't waste years tangled up in self doubt and inner critic voices and working at a draining job because without that money you would die on the streets.

Of course, doing the thing may take time and support, you may need to do lots of research and learning first - I'm not saying it would be easy. Dreams are not meant to be easy.

But the world around you wouldn't be actively making it harder. The world would cheer you on.

This morning my dream says:

Look at how you're creating pockets of this magic, right here in this shitty capitalist culture.

Looking at all of the other people doing the same.

Look at everyone trying to heal and grow.

Look at everyone waking up and learning and creating new models for how to create a better world.

Remember that we have to get angry and dissatisfied with the status quo in order to change it. We need more privileged people to stop focusing so much on pursuing their own dreams and protecting their own civil liberties and look at how to make the world better for everyone.

Because that's the way to ALL of our dreams.

And it's closer than we realise.

I had a breakthrough yesterday.

I had a breakthrough yesterday.

I hit (another!) pandemic wall on the weekend and I did the things that help best when I am in Full On Overwhelm. I finished my day with a hot lavender bath, I did yoga and meditated, and I went to bed early.

Normally, this helps me wake up the next day ready to take on the world. Yesterday, I woke up still crabby. And as my day went on I stayed crabby - even though I was doing all the things that usually help.

My husband (who is STILL working from home) noticed, of course, and towards the end of the day came upstairs to tell me a silly story in the hopes of cheering me up. That's when I started crying.

"Sweetie, what's wrong? I'm trying to cheer you up."

I realised later, that it was because I was touched by him trying to cheer me up, that I finally felt some of what I was actually feeling. That all that crabbiness and overwhelm was really more about having-so-many-feelings-I-can't-feel-anything and being all bottled up, emotionally.

And expecting my usual self care routines to take care all of this right now is unrealistic. I need more.

That's the breakthrough. To look for ways to double my self care.

The best breakthroughs seem boring and obvious once you've had them. But nevertheless, they change everything.

So I doubled up on my self care practices and gave myself more space to be where I am and I woke up this morning feeling more clear and grounded and I am remembering - we just had 3 weeks of brutal winter weather, and everything is still closed.

Normally, I can go for walks in brutal winter weather. In -40s, I can bundle up and go for a 30 minute walk - I'll just be cold by the end of it. So I walk to a coffee shop/bakery with a wood fire oven. It's toasty warm in there, and in the coffee shop section they've got huge sunny windows and dozens of plants. The warmth, the sun, the plants, the coffee, the treats, the whole place smelling like whatever's baking - it's a pretty epic spot to do some journaling and writing. Plus I warm up enough to walk 30 minutes back home, no matter what the weather.

Bundling up to walk 15 minutes from home, then turn around and walk back, just doesn't have the same feel to it, you know? So I haven't been bothering to do it, and now I'm feeling the effects of not getting out at all.

Last weekend we went to my friend's farm.

Normally, my friend and I would have lunch or coffee together at least every other week, since she works in the city.

My husband is a traditional Cree medicine person. He received messages from some spirits who needed to be fed, so he needed space to have a sacred fire. So I spoke to my friend at the farm and she offered her space - provided we didn't go inside her home.

We were only there for about 2 hours, but it was AMAZING to see my friend again and just sit around and hang out (it was a warmer day and we had the fire going).

It was after that, that it hit me how much I've lost. And how very much I miss my people.

This turned up the volume on the I-Have-Too-Many-Feelings-I'm-All-Bottled-Up thing that was happening. It pushed it all over the edge.

It was my little breakthrough that helped me see this differently, helped me be more compassionate with myself. "Oh sweetie. Of course you're crabby. Look at what you've lost. Of course you're sad."

And now I feel ACCEPTING of my feelings. Like they're not all bottled up and I am not on the verge of exploding. I can just slow down and be more patient with myself.

It's a subtle shift in focus.

A shift from: "just keep going, you are one of the lucky ones, you have everything you need to get through this ok" which was only creating a backlog of un-felt feelings in me, which was making everything harder than it already was.

To: "Sweetie this is HARD, make space for all of these feelings" which helps me be more deeply present with ALL parts of me which plugs me back into my superpowers which is the thing that will actually help me move through this best.

And let's me clear: I knew this. I KNEW BETTER than to do what I was doing.

The breakthrough didn't teach me something I didn't already know.

It put me back in touch with that inner knowing in a way that it really LANDED.

And then I was able to make that change.

And now everything feels different for me. I have all these new options for how to move forward.

Breakthrough Alchemy Coaching Circle

The BREAKTHROUGH Alchemy Coaching Circle is this Saturday - on Feb 27.

A Breakthrough is a sudden shift in perspective, a radical new way of seeing yourself, or your situation.

A Breakthrough gives you new options that you didn't know you had, before the breakthrough.

A Breakthrough brings you back to your own truth.

I am not promising everyone who attends will have an instant breakthrough. I am hoping for that though!

What I AM promising is that attending the Circle, and then showing up for the next 30 days to keep working with it, will give you these things:

A radical new way of seeing yourself, or your situation
New options
A deeper connection to your own truth

Join me here.

Dancing On Our Turtle’s Back

Dancing On Our Turtle's Back

I just finished reading Dancing On Our Turtle's Back by Leanne Betasamosake Simpson. She speaks to the regeneration of Indigenous culture which must fuel decolonization efforts.

Which is kind of obvious, but she writes about it in such a way that it makes decolonization feel inevitable. And it explains why projects like Adam Sings In The Timber's Indigenizing Colonized Spaces feels so powerful and meaningful.

Every act of resurgence of culture has an impact.

Most of books I have read about decolonization are written from a political/legal perspective.

And, as she says in this book, that's an important perspective to understand.

BUT - it's fighting colonization using the tools of the colonizer. Our political and legal systems are colonial, they have so many colonialist perspectives embedded in them, it is really hard to use them to create the kind of radical change we need to see.

So this book helped me to see a whole new WORLD of possibilities for HOW decolonizing can happen and what it could look like.

This book impacted me in a big way.

She shared a Nishnaabeg prophecy that had told people that the colonizers were coming over 500 years before they arrived.

Over 500 years, each generation moved further west, and spread out so that by the time the colonizers arrived, the Nishnaabeg were not as easily found.

They knew they couldn't stop the genocide that was coming.

They also knew that their own culture would be the thing that would save them.

So that's why they moved west and spread out, so that pockets of culture would survive - even when Canada made their language and spiritual practices and ceremonies illegal, even when Canada stole their children and tried to force them to assimilate to white culture.

Pockets of culture remained. And the prophecy told them that the occupation would eventually become less violent and there would be some space for a resurgence.

Now, each small act of resurgence helps to generate the conditions for Indigenous culture to be restored.

The final part of the prophecy is that Indigenous culture will help save settler culture - that only once the settlers saw that their ways were poisoning the water, air and land and threatening to destroy the whole planet, would they be open to change.

I'm not sure settler culture deserves to be saved.

But what really stood out to me is the long term thinking and planning.

The kind of leadership and community it takes for everyone to work together like that for 500 years so that they could save generations so far off in the future (!)

That's what CULTURE is.

We don't have that now. We're not even able to band together to save our own grandchildren from climate change. Or save each other from Covid!

Settler culture is garbage culture.

So I am thinking about the pandemic, through this lens.

What if taking care of each other was our ONLY priority?

We don't have the political will it would take to make different decisions about how we use our resources.

I would like to live in world where it wouldn't even be a difficult decision, where OF COURSE we just focus on taking care of each other.

I don't want to romanticize Indigenous wisdom.

That's one of the ways that the New Age has colonized Indigenous wisdom.

The world is complex.

But this book helped me see how a better world is possible, by focusing on culture, it's got me thinking in a different way and I wanted to recommend it.

Also, if you are white - read more books by Indigenous authors! It really helps you to see from a different perspective.

I want to do better

I want to do better

Last month I celebrated 10 years in business with the Creative Dream Incubator by offering a bunch of free classes and coaching - all the replays are available on this page - I recommend checking out the class on working with impossible dreams.

And as I thought about all the people I have worked with over the years, and how much each of them has struggled....how we all feel so much self doubt and fear and we held back in so many different internal and external ways....

And then I thought about how a lot of our inner stuff we have about our dreams, we have because we live in a word that is so hostile towards dreams....

And suddenly it was so clear.

No one is BORN timid with their dreams. We LEARN it, living in this culture.

And at the same time - after 10 years of creating courses and developing systems for doing this work - I've created the ultimate system (Dream Book) for helping people navigate the path from where they are to where they want to be.

Dream Book is creative and flexible and works for all kinds of dreams, for navigating both the inner and outer work. I use it every day to help me with my dreams and I love tending to the group in the Dream Book program...

But, for me, CREATING new programs take a lot more energy than FACILITATING programs does. Which means all of that creative energy I've been using to create new programs for the last 10 years can be used somewhere else now. And so...

I want the Creative Dream Incubator to be exploring: how do we change the culture so that we don’t have as many obstacles to work through?

I mean this in two ways:

How do we help to level the playing field NOW, in terms of racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, classism, and all of the ways our political, social and financial structures oppress and fail us all, in varying degrees?

How do we create freedom, joy, and a good life for future generations?

There is so much I want to talk about

And I have a lot of thoughts about the intersection of white supremacy, capitalism and the life coaching/spiritual + personal growth industries and where the Live Your Best Life Industry actively contributes to systemic oppression.

It's time for the new age to grow up and be a force for good for ALL people and life on this planet.

All of the activism work I've been doing and learning about over the last 5 years I've done largely in my personal life. I didn't know how the Creative Dream Incubator could be a part of that. But this keeps coming up when I am talking with my friends in the industry and now I see a way to begin - by putting these conversations out here in public.

And I know from working with dreams that you don't have to know HOW. You just have to show up. So this is my commitment to start showing up.

I have been doing a lot of writing, and getting posts ready to share on my blog and social media accounts. I will start posting them this week.

Celebrating 10 years in business with an epic month of free classes + coaching

It was January 1, 2011, that I officially quit my last job to do the Creative Dream Incubator full time.

(Which, at that time, was called ABCcreativity - the Creative Dream Incubator was the first e-course I made once I started doing this full time)

I remain so grateful to me-from-then for making the move.

I'm feeling especially grateful for my business during this difficult year.

Grateful to have work that is fulfilling and fun and also helps me hold space for my own process of healing and growth.

Grateful to have steady income during such an unpredictable year.

The Creative Dream Incubator is my biggest dream come true. Dreams grow you. And then as you grow, your dreams grow, but then they grow you even more, and it becomes an infinite cycle of growth and inspiration.

And I am grateful for the ways that the Creative Dream Incubator has grown me.

I am braver, I trust myself more, I trust my creativity and intuition more, and I feel less of a need to prove my worth or the value of my work.

My once impossible dream became my sturdy foundation.

I do still remember when I wanted to do some kind of meditation/creativity workshops, to offer the magic and healing I had experienced to others, but had no clue how to make that happen.

And I remember figuring out how to do that work, but doing it on the side while working full time, and feeling so grateful to be doing it at all while also feeling SO SURE that I could never do this as my full time work.

I always try to remember that things that felt COMPLETELY impossible to me once are my life now.

Which means that the things that FEEL impossible now actually might not be.

One thing hasn't changed: that desire to offer the magic + healing that I have received to others.

This is the foundation of how I've built my business and I am excited to keep doing this in 2021. When we do this work of receiving the gifts and medicine of our dreams, this helps us become more of who we really are.

Being more of who we really are is the more liberating, healing and joy-inducing thing we can do for ourselves.

And it's also how we grow wiser and become braver and ready to stand up, speak up, and create a better world for everyone.

To celebrate the ten year anniversary of the Creative Dream Incubator, I'm going to do a whole month long FESTIVAL OF DREAMS.

This means: free classes, coaching videos, challenges and other fun stuff. A whole month of inspiration, support and magic for setting yourself up for RADICAL SUCCESS with your dreams in 2021.

I believe that collectively, we are at a turning point.

We need to become who we really are in order to save this planet, because I don't believe that who we really are is careless enough to destroy the only planet we've got.

We need to become who we really are in order to save each other, because I don't believe that who we really are would create these political systems that have people dying of poverty while others hoard more wealth than they can use in 20 generations.

And personally, I feel at a turning point as well.

I feel more creative and sure of myself than I ever have. I feel ready to both create and put myself out there in new ways.

I have so many big dreams for 2021! And I know you do too.

So let's prepare to dream BIGGER BRIGHTER AND DEEPER in 2021.

Let's use this moment to spur us on to greater things.

The Festival of Dreams will start on Monday, January 4.

My pandemic brain isn't great at planning so all of my planning powers are going to Dream Book right now. Which means I don't have a plan for the whole month - just a big pile of ideas and a commitment to keep showing up for the Festival of Dreams all month long.

But the GREAT thing about that is that: you can help me decide what we do in the Festival of Dreams!

LET ME KNOW what you're working with:

  • What are your questions about how to get to where you want to be in 2021?
  • What are the main obstacles you're facing right now?

Go to this page and answer these questions on the comments so I can make the classes that will help YOU the most.

Here's what I do know:

I'll be offering free mini-classes, coaching videos and creative dream challenges throughout January on Instagram Live. (If you're not on Instagram it would be worth it to join for this month). The replays will be available on my Instagram page.

Everything will be freely available - you don't have to sign up for emails or anything.

Whooo hoooo!

I can't wait. See you Monday!

Now check out the Festival of Dreams right here!

This is what healing looks like

This is what healing looks like

This weekend I ordered take out from one of my favourite restaurants.

A woman met me at the door to ask my name. Through the window I saw her coming back out of the kitchen holding my order and it really hit me right in the feels.

These people cooked my favourite meal for me, and now this woman was walking back to the kitchen to bring it to me at the door, so I didn’t even have to go inside and we didn’t take a risk of infecting each other.
It all felt so beautiful I wanted to cry for a minute there. I felt so loved. And like we’re all in this together. My heart was sparkling the whole way back home

This was so far away from how I was feeling just the day before, when nothing was working and everything was overwhelming and all I could do was cry.

But this was also a direct result of me giving myself the space to feel how I feel when everything felt stuck.

Feel how you feel, and then let it go when it’s done. This is actually the best way to hold onto the gifts and lessons - by releasing the rest.

This really does open you up to all sorts of good feelings, like turning ordering take out into some kind of cosmic experience of love and connection.

But more importantly, it opens you up to YOURSELF.

Your wishes and dreams, your authenticity, your potential - and your inner wisdom which shows you how to get there.

This is what we’re doing today at the Healing Circle for 2020, making space for reflection, processing and release.

This will be about 60-90 minutes long, depending on the discussion. We'll do a special meditation with time for reflection on your 2020 and journaling and then an alchemical releasing process.

You'll leave with a few prompts to keep exploring over the next month, and to allow the healing and release to INTEGRATE, so you are ready for the Blessing Circle for 2021 that we’ll do in January.

I can’t wait!

Join me here.

Your Next Steps: A journaling + meditation class to help you be more CLEAR and SURE of your next steps