Creative Entrepreneur

🦄Something changes when you approach a thing as a practice, as opposed to approaching it as a task.

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Let’s say I want to create marketing content for my social media.

If I approach it as a task, I’m thinking about the strategy, what I want it to look like and what I want it to say, and I am just trying to meet my goal in the most direct way possible. Create the content.

For many reasons this approach can become boring, overwhelming and/or stressful.

But if I approach it as a PRACTICE, I’m getting into my flow. I’m BEING WITH the soul of my work and exploring all of the ways it wants to shine out via this social media content.

PRACTICE GENERATES FLOW.

Then I am using this flow as the fuel for my creative flow, and start playing with ideas. Colours. Patterns. Images. Writing. Just creating and expressing this light, without trying to corral it into marketing content. This way, my ideas iterate quickly, new ideas emerge, and as I follow all of the rabbit holes my inspiration throws me way, I can see my writing and art improve right in front of my eyes. The first few things I started with feel clunky compared to what I have in the end. This is the magic of practice.

Then, THEN, after I’ve followed that creative flow and have a pile of images and writing, THEN I corral it into marketing content. Take these words and add it to this image and you’ve got a post. Rinse and repeat until you have all of the content you need.

**This is how it works for me, how it works for you can be completely different because when you start with connecting to the soul of your work, and listening to your own inspiration and unique creative voice and give yourself some space to practice your ideas - then you create YOUR way **

And then, because ALL OF THIS is a practice, you put it out there and notice what happens and use that information to help inform your next steps. You bring your questions and your needs into your practice and work them out in there. A practice is a container for new ideas, transformation, creativity + magic.

Doing your marketing YOUR OWN WAY is the only way that actually does service to the soul of your work. I can’t give you a three step system for this, but I am offering Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual practice as a monthly call for this for all of 2023. This is available to all members of Dream Book. Join us here.

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✨ Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice

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Think of what you love most about your work.

Think about why you do your work.

Imagine all of this as a ball of light that represents the soul of your work.

How does this ball of light want to shine out into the world?

That is Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual practice.

Connecting with your own inner truth and the soul of your work, and then using your creativity to express and share that in your unique way.

Most marketing approaches focus on tools, strategies and most of all - results.

I believe we need space away from that, to be with our own truth, in order to find our own way. Not that the results aren’t important, but that we can’t start there.

That’s what Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice is all about.

I do have a guided alchemy meditation for this, and lots of thoughts on what it means to develop a practice of writing, exploring, creating + playing to create marketing content that shines that light in a way that it lands right in front of the people that it was meant for.

We do a monthly call where we do the meditation together, and then - talk! We talk about what’s hard about figuring this out and what’s inspiring us and what we’re excited about trying and how things are working. We ask each other questions and share ideas about the tools and strategies we’re trying.

Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual practice started in November 2022 as an experiment, and I’ll be doing a monthly call for this for all of 2023. This is available to all members of Dream Book. Join today and you can binge on all of the call replays.

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Live call tomorrow: Marketing As A Creative And Spiritual Practice

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(This is a monthly call that is open to everyone in Dream Book - you can join us here. Once you have your login info, go to the "zoom calls" section of the menu on the website to get the call details. Or shoot me an email and I will send it to you.)

You know that your gifts are needed.

AND YET

It's so easy to be conflicted about offering them. There are SO MANY external and internal things to work through.

And that's why I think making it A PRACTICE is essential. This is NOT a thing we can just "figure out" and then be done.

And I think making it a SPIRITUAL practice is essential because offering your work to the world is a sacred thing. And the relationships you get into with your clients is sacred. So let's honour this truth in ALL aspects of how we practice marketing.

And I think making this a CREATIVE practice is essential because that makes it more engaging and also when you follow inspiration you get in tune with your creative genius, and your creative genius definitely knows how to meet your marketing goals in ways that work with your values AND are fun for you to do.

And when you bring that all together - and practice it - you create your unique way of reaching the people that your work is meant for.

When this idea came to me it felt so important. Like - yes this is a difficult economy to do business in.

AND/BUT/BECAUSE so many of the "things that used to work" aren't working as well - this is the perfect time to drop some of those rules and get more deeply rooted in your own inner knowing and unique ways of doing things.

Marketing is not rocket science. It's about connecting with the people that your work is for. You know how to do this.

Yes, parts of it are UNCOMFORTABLE (though not IMPOSSIBLE). But other parts of it are sooooo satisfying, fun and creative!

I am LOVING these calls and am so excited to see where we all go as we explore this.

This is our second call in this series. In the first call I shared one practice for exploring this and then we had THE BEST discussion about all of it. (I do suggest making time to watch that one if you haven't yet)

In the call tomorrow we'll do that practice together again and then I want to offer 2 ideas: a practice for bringing intention and power to how you put yourself out there and a bit of a challenge to look at how you can practice being more VISIBLE over the next month.

BUT these are YOUR gifts and YOUR WAY is the only best way. So - whatever has been coming up for you as you've been practicing is an important thing to keep exploring.

I'll share a different them, idea, or practice at each call but I'll always encourage everyone to put their own spin on it.

And we'll have loads of time for discussion - that's always the best part!

Hope to see you there!

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Your gifts are needed. Update on Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice.

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Artists, healers, helper-people, activists, people with a vision for a better world - YOU ARE NEEDED! NOW!

I am doing Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice calls every month, the fist one was Nov 8 and this is my first update.

These calls are open to everyone who is in Dream Book - join us here.

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Your gifts are needed (Monthly calls on Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual practice)

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On Nov 8 we dida Zoom call on Marketing as a Creative and Spiritual Practice.

The replay is now available to all members of Dream Book. It was a beautiful rich discussion and also I shared an alchemy practice for this work you can use to get your practice started. Then we'll meet each month to take the next step with it. I'll share new ideas, and we'll see where our practices take us.

Turning marking into a creative and spiritual practice makes it GENERATIVE and EXPANSIVE. It creates space for you to receive exactly what you need from it.

According to Wikipedia, marketing is the process of exploring, creating, and delivering value to meet the needs of a target market.

I think of it as shining your light. Or sharing your message. You have gifts! Marketing is how you let people know about them.

We tend to think of marketing as being all about the outer work, but I think it is more about the inner light and how we're choosing to shine/share it.

Marketing as a creative and spiritual practice is...

  • practicing exploring this light
  • practicing TRUSTING your light
  • practicing shining your light
  • practicing all the different ways you you can aim your light and all the different ways you can shine it
  • practicing sitting with all of the questions that come up for you as you do this while bringing your intuitive knowing and creative power to creating the answers

You have gifts. And there are people who need these gifts.

How can you practice showing up in such a way that they can see you?
How can you practice staying grounded and sure when this inevitably gets scary?

This work is SO inherently creative AND spiritual.

Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice on Zoom. Even month inside Dream Book!

I'll keep doing this for the foreseeable future because I believe that all of our gifts are URGENTLY needed out there in the world so let's practice sharing them more brightly.

Join Dream Book here.

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Today’s Journal Prompts

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I had a dentist appointment this morning, and on my way there I went out for a chai latte and journaling.

In preparation for our class on Wednesday (Staying Stable In Your Relationship With Money When The World Is Not Stable) I focused on two prompts:

What helps me feel stable? (Which sparked some thoughts about the nature of stability itself)

How do I want to feel about money? (Which also sparked some thoughts about money in general)

Some of the ideas that came to me were surprising.

Like at first, I know I want to feel EXPANSIVE and FREE and CREATIVE and POWERFUL in my relationship with money.

But the longer you sit with a question, the more answers you get, and an answer I got later on felt more true.

I want to feel neutral about money.

Also stability fascinates me the way it’s not a dream of mine… but without all dreams feel impossible. I thought of the forms of stability that I take for granted because they’ve always been there, and all the ways I can call it in for myself. I thought about it on a larger level - how do we help more people in the world be stable enough to dream? Because we do need everyone to dream our way into a better future for all.

As I keep exploring, I’ll probably find more surprises.

I hope you’ll join me for this on Wednesday.

We’ll explore and share together (this work is always so much better in a group) and do some energy alchemy around calling the things we need.

Details and registration are here.

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Having a stable relationship with money when the world is not stable.

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How do I be grounded, stable, empowered, expansive and creative in my relationship with money...

... while the economy and world are so unstable?

This is the big question that keeps coming to me lately.

And as I've been sitting with it I realized I want to share this process with you.

So I'm doing this as a Zoom call, next week.

Get the details here.

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The Last Day Of Summer + Being On The Precipice

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I’m calling today The Last Day Of Summer.

It’s the last day of summer weather on the forecast.

And I know we’re likely it have more hot days this month, but with the overnight lows getting lower, it’s not going to FEEL like summer again.

So.

The Last Day Of Summer.

It really feels like I am standing on a precipice.

The last week and a half Joseph and I (mostly him) have been working on tearing down my old workspace and building a new bedroom pergola, a wall, kitchen cabinets/shelves, a closet and a new TV stand (there was a LOT of wood in that old workspace).

Joseph is almost finished the building and I am starting the painting now.

We are transforming the Dream Loft into OUR home.

I should back up a bit, I guess.

A year and a half ago, Joseph moved out of the Dream Loft. We didn’t “separate” and we didn’t want to, but we also couldn’t keep going as things were at that time. During the pandemic, so many different things intersected… but that’s actually not a story I want to share.

The story I want to share is that he moved out, and with the magic of space (and gifted therapists) we created a much closer and more nourishing relationship.

But over the last 6 months we’ve both been feeling like we have too much space. Like we want to live together again.

Not that living together is better! I stand by everything I have written about how we have to do relationships in the ways that feel true for us, and not just do what “everyone does”.

So - I was actually really shocked when I started to feel like I wanted him to move back in, because when I thought about our future this was the one scenario that I was sure would NEVER happen. I mostly saw us living together someone else, further in the future.

And here we are. The Last Place I Though I Would Ever Be.

BUT

We thought of a way to re-arrange the entire space. Which is the magic of open loft living!

SO

Joseph took two weeks off work for the construction part. Then I’ll paint (like - murals and fun stuff). We’re both purging and organizing and we’ll put more work in to creating a more functional space.

I still love the spaciousness of loft living, but it does mean you need to put more thought and effort into being organized, or just not have any stuff.

And here we are. I am ready to start painting.

But first. The Last Day Of Summer.

It’s like - one last day for my favourite summer things. Like meeting a friend for a picnic lunch in the park. Last year on this day I went to the beach later in the day for one last swim.

This year? I don’t even know what I want to do.

It just feels SO MUCH like a precipice day.

The last year and a half, living apart, my husband and I grew so much. You know how therapists like you to name the ways you are changing - we can name hundreds of things that have changed in how we are in this relationship.

Like when we met, we knew what we wanted, but didn’t have the skills to create that relationship. And, together, we have learned those skills. And now we’re ready to move into the next phase of our relationship.

And the kids! Well they’re not kids anymore. And I don’t share their stories, but they are also moving on to new and exciting things.

And my work! I’ll share more about this later, but the Dream Loft re-arrangement includes me having a new creative studio. I feel like I am creating the space for my next level of art and writing and creating. There is SO MUCH I want to do and this new space feels like the perfect place to do it.

And my health! I’ve found the right supplements to manage my pedi-menopause symptoms and I FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN after a very long few years.

It feels like it’s all falling into place, but also - I’ve worked at this for the last few years, by showing up consistently for my dreams.

And by “dreams” I mean - taking my own needs seriously. By showing up for my Dream Work practice even when dreams felt far away I figured out how to navigate this weird time, and create a space for my future dreams to take root.

So. Yeah.

I created this.

I brought myself to this place.

And today I’m just going to enjoy one last day of summer, and appreciate where I am, before taking the next steps.

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We are the creators. We are the ones with the power.

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We had a group coaching call in Dream Book where one person attending (a very accomplished creative entrepreneur actually) said “I mean, what am I even doing?” and I laughed because I saw myself in it.

“What am I even doing?” came up again and again later on in the call as more people shared their stories.

It’s actually REALLY EASY to feel “what am I even doing?” when you are doing your own thing.

It’s natural to feel lost.

It’s natural to think you’re stuck when you’re really just incubating, or resting, or preparing for the next thing in ways your conscious self doesn’t know about yet.

With our dreams, the tangible parts are only about 1/3 of what is actually happening. So if you’re only using tangible, measurable things to measure progress, you are missing most of the picture.

And yet, this is what we do. Myself included!

The week before last I was in that “what am I even doing?” place. At the beginning of the week I was being GRACIOUS with myself and my process. I was MAKING SPACE for how I was actually feeling. I was honouring my energy.

But a few days in I’m all “OK process, wrap it up. I need to be doing something productive here”

But my process did not wrap it up.

In fact, on Friday, the day I did the Holding Space For What’s Next To Emerge class, I had my list of things to catch up on and instead I took 2 naps.

I felt great DURING the class because I always feel great when I connect with people in that way.

But the rest of the day I was still… meh.

And then Saturday I woke up feeling clear-headed and inspired. I rode my bike downtown, got my favourite doughnut for breakfast, and went to my favourite park (which has a TON of seating overlooking the river - it’s actually a bar at night but gorgeous and quiet in the mornings).

I wrote and wrote and wrote. Blog posts, emails, ideas for new projects.

It’s like all week I WAS incubating.

And then when it was time, it was a time. And everything just poured out.

This kind of trusting our creative flow is one of the things we need, if we want to create a new world.

The way our world is run on the Monday-Friday calendar and being productive on a schedule is counter to our actual human nature.

Also, we only have weekends because enough unions fought for them that they became the cultural norm. We can create new cultural norms. This is literally what humans have always done.

Humans created the huge corporations that have become corrupt and are now holding our economic and political systems hostage. They are even holding our entire future hostage by refusing to address climate change in any meaningful way.

We can destroy this and create something new.

We do it all the time.

This fall, my husband and I are going to tear apart the workspace he built for me when we got married. You know the cute one in the background of my videos? It will be GONE.

We’re going to use that wood to build a wall to create a new bedroom in the loft, in the space where my workspace was.

There’s more to this story, which I will share in time.

I just wanted to share - we can tear apart the things we built for A LOT of different reasons. Maybe because they didn’t turn out like we’d hoped. Maybe because time marches on and we change and want something different. Maybe because they turn corrupt and threaten to destroy the world.

We are the creators. We are the ones with the power.

But we need to give ourselves the thing we need in order to access that power:

  • Feel your feelings.
  • Give yourself space to process your thoughts and ideas.
  • Take your dreams seriously and pursue them.
  • Be open to the GROWTH and HEALING that your dreams are pushing you towards.

I’m doing all of this every day in Dream Book You are always welcome to join me there.

It’s time.

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IG Live: Following Your Creative Dreams + Living A Nomadic Life!

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Join me and Heidi Straube (@innerpathphoto) on Monday to talk about following your creative dreams and living a nomadic life!

Heidi is the expert on this and I can’t wait to spend this time digging into her stories.

We'll be going live at 12 pm noon, Monday June 20 on my Instagram account.

Go to this post (from your smart phone) to set a notification for when we go live.

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The Self Care Planner is here!!!

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I Take Excellent Care of Myself: 8 Week Undated Self Care Planner is now available through the Creative Dream Incubator Press!

I've been working on this during the whole pandemic.

With the combination of "a lot of my self care things became inaccessible" and "my life got more stressful on a number of fronts" and "the whole world started freaking out and falling apart" it was both tricky AND essential for me to find new ways to do self care.

There are a TON of ways to define self care. For me, self care is the foundation for everything else. For you, it can be something totally different.

All we know for sure is - we all need it right now.

This self care planner will get you looking at self care from different perspectives and experimenting with new ideas to help you feel how you want to feel, so you can do what you want to do.

Find out more + get your copy here!

**Get 20% off [until Friday] with the discount code:
SELFCAREMAGIC

I am going to promote this "self care style"

It just doesn’t feel very “self care” to push myself to do a bunch of marketing things around this.

So I’m not.

I’m going to show up, as myself, and talk about it. And going to put self care at the center of how I do that this week.

Which means today instead of doing the Monday morning Creative Genius Planning Session on Instagram Live (which I usually do, even on long weekends) I’m taking the long weekend as a long weekend.

So this morning I’ll be eating pancakes in the park with my husband. 🥞 🌳 🧺 ❤️

Picnics are my love language and a huge source of self care for me.

Now - Go check out the planner!

**Get 20% off [until Friday] with the discount code:
SELFCAREMAGIC

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Where do I even start. Waking up to dark clouds, heavy fog and a brain that won’t turn on.

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I write every day, Monday - Friday, about my own process of navigating the path between where I am and where I want to be.

I share these in the Daily Miracle Mastermind Posts inside the Dream Book community. I believe that showing HOW I walk my talk each day is one of the best ways of teaching.

Lately some of these posts have been asking to be shared out in public - which feels even messy and awkward for me, but here I am, following my inner nudges and seeing where it leads.

Where do I even start?

I have a practice of meeting myself where I am and moving towards where I want to be, but today...

Everything is just heavy and cloudy, with small bits of sharpness.

I want to leap into a story about WHY I feel these things. (get into my head and out of all of these feelings)

Instead I will meet myself where I am.

When I'm so heavy/cloudy/foggy it's like brain is covered in a fog blanket and it's hard for me to figure out HOW to meet myself where I am.

But all I have to do is be here.

I say hello to the heavy clouds and my brain that feels shut down.

The heavy clouds sparkle a little, like they've just been waiting to be acknowledged.

I spread out a picnic blanket and invite them to join me.

Which reminds me - I have a delivery coming today of spherical ice cube molds and Instant Pot accessories including an egg bite maker, and I want to have a lot of iced coffee + egg bite picnics in the park with my journal this summer.

Which reminds me - it's been so cold and rainy, a lot of my usual spring activities are not really happening, and this is depressing.

Oh. Ok. Back to the task at hand. Inviting the dark cloud to sit down and talk.

It hovers above the blanket.

It looks darker than it did, and I can see tiny lightnings in it.

"So, dark cloud, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine. I'm being who I am. It's you who seems to have a problem. You don't want me here."

"Well, it's uncomfortable, I feel pretty weighed down by your presence."

"How can I help you feel more comfortable with me here?"

I am speechless. I don't have a way to be comfortable WITH the dark cloud. I do just want it gone.

"So you invited me to sit down for a picnic as you it's going to be a good time, but you only want to destroy me?"

I am giggling at the idea of a "picnic of destruction".

But also, yeah. I don't know how to engage with this thing. It's like I can either let it control me, or I try to destroy it. I don't see any other way.

But if I remember that all of my feelings are valid, and that one part of the path to any dream is to feel the feelings that come up on that path, then I do believe that there is another way.

BUT I still don't see it.

I offer the cloud an egg bite, it happily receives.

Oh! Those extra-dark spots in the cloud and the tiny lightnings, they go off when the cloud is happy and doing it's thing. I experience them as menacing but that's not how it is for the cloud. That feels helpful to know.

"So, what? Do we just sit here and eat egg bites?"

"That's what a picnic is, right?"

"Well, I guess I was hoping for more. I was hoping we could come to an agreement where we could each have our needs met. I mean I know I just said I don't know how to do this, but still I do think that would be ideal."

The cloud reaches for some iced coffee.

"Is this just all on me? I have to change my relationship to you? I mean, if I was using the Un-Sticking Station, which I do NOT feel prepared to do, I would look for ways to offer you love."

"That's what you've been doing. You made a picnic. I've got egg bites and iced coffee. Maybe you should look for ways to offer yourSELF love as well?"

Haven't I been doing that?

It's so hard to work through anything with the dark clouds here. It's so hard to feel progress and clarity.

So I can accept that this is not a day for progress-that-can-be-seen or clarity-of-any-kind?

This makes my heart kind of jump. Like - how long will I be this way?

What about trusting the process, another one of the Principles of Creative Dream Alchemy.

If I was trusting the process, I would meet with my dream.

OK, I can do that, invite my dream to this picnic with the dark cloud.

(I go lay on the floor, and my car Bear snuggles in beside me, and we invite my dream to join us)

My dream had been appearing as a cartoon blue butterfly, and last week it transformed into realistic butterfly wings for me to wear and BE the dream.

Today it showed up as the wings, floating above me. It's not a day to wear the wings, but they are still here.

The wings showed me that they can be an umbrella, if the cloud starts to rain.

But mostly they are here to be a blanket-that-forms-a-cocoon.

And they wrapped around me.

And it felt like a cocoon.

Like there's a lot going on. I have a lot of layers of uncomfortable feelings and I can't tell any one thing from the others and that's ok, I am in the process.

Today is a day for gentle cocooning and allowing things to work through.

While nothing feels resolved, I don't feel so tangled up now. I feel trusting and ok with slowing down and being where I am.

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Wild Untamed Creativity vs The Part Of Me Who Wants To Control Everything

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I am exploring the question: What helps me make more art, more often, from a deeper place?

I've gotten stuck most days, and in doing the Un-Sticking work I met with inner teenaged/early 20s selves. It's pretty rare for me that they show up, when it's an inner child it's usually much younger.

They're so sarcastic and annoyed at everything and JUDGEMENTAL!

But also, something really deep has shifted for me.

Those little conversations reverberate, things keep happening throughout the day, it's not over after my 10 minutes of sitting with it.

What's been happening now is me seeing my life now from my 17-25 year old perspective.

Hey! Look at what I did! Look at what I have!

I feel so proud of me.

And so excited to be where I am, with all of the SPACE I have to create what I want to create.

What also struck me is: I was not very sensitive at that time.

My teenaged-25 self is so annoyed and horrifying by me having so many FEELINGS and how those feelings can stop me from doing what I want to do.

She never experienced that.

As I've been sitting with that it's clear - she was so disconnected from her feelings that she experienced this all the time but didn't know it! In her experience, she was blocked by other things.

I am so much more powerful now.

Not being all filled up with un-processed feelings means I can face those other things in the way more effectively. AND it means that sometimes I do spend a lot of time processing feelings because that IS the path.

Even though most days I would be very tempted to trade emotional sensitivity for the ability to carry on functioning in the ways I want to while the world falls apart - I wouldn't REALLY make the trade.

Anyway - I woke up this morning feeling SO happy and grateful.

As I though about the question I am exploring - What helps me make more art, more often, from a deeper place? - I see something that was keeping me stuck with this:

I was looking for a way to be really organized and... I don't even know how to describe it... like always know what I am doing, follow very specific steps, like map it all out and then follow the path.

But that's not how art works.

The specific steps I can follow are to do THIS work. To meet my dream and look at what's in the way of connecting with my dream and work with that and out of this work always comes.... something.

So, one answer to my question is.... can I make space for that "something" that comes up?

Can I let go of CONTROLLING the process or wanting it to look a certain way?

A part of me wants it to look like - writing a blog post on Tuesdays and making new things for Dream Book on Wednesdays, etc.

CAN I JUST TRUST MY CREATIVE FLOW?

I know everything works better when I do.

But there is a part of me who wants to control the overall process. Make sure I am consistent with certain things.

I know I want to be consistent about being in the flow.

This part of me wants me to be consistent about newsletter emails, blog posts, social media posts, and promotional campaigns.

Bringing this part of me into the Un-Sticking Station:

(The Un-Sticking Station is only available to Dream Book members)

She shows up as me, in a beige suit, with a leather briefcase. She's quite thin and her hair is dyed light brown.

I have an overwhelming urge to hug her and try to help her be happier and more creatively alive but I am putting that aside to stick with the process and offer her some love.

She puts up a shield.

No thank you. I don't need LOVE. I need you to follow a schedule.

Oh wow. This is going to be harder than I thought.

Look at you! You're a mess!

No, I'm an artist. I'm a human who trusts her heart and intuition. And actually I am very organized - I've been running this business for a long time.

Not very well.

(But I can tell she's not completely convinced. She's starting to lower the shield and some love is coming in. I hold my hands up, palms aimed at her, and shoot rainbows of love her way)

I'm sending you love because I want you to know you are loved. I'd like to help you feel safe.

Excellent. I will feel safe when you are more organized. That thing you wrote - blog on Tuesdays, Dream Book on Wednesdays - that's a good start. Let's make a detailed schedule.

Can we start by just being with the quality/feeling of love and safety?

This is such an incredible waste of time.

Yeah, I see that you feel that way, and that making a schedule and getting to work feel like love and safety to you, but they are not actually love and safety. They are things that help you feel love and safety and I'd like to start by actually FEELING love and safety and then... we may come up with even better ways for you to feel loved and safe.

I don't want better ways. I want predictability and schedules and for you to stop this nonsense.

Yeah, but I am me. This is how I am going to do things.

I don't want to go in circles with you.

I don't want to go in circles with you either.

OK I think we can stop this meeting now.

It feels like something VERY helpful happened in meeting the part of me, but this is as far as it can go right now. I will check in with her again in a few days.

BUT I am going to make a compromise with this part of me. I will make a list of all of the things that she would like to see done each week. These are things I want to do too!!!

I'm also going to make some art around: following my creative flow vs being organized and following a schedule. Just drawing/journaling in my Dream Book and see where it goes.

There IS a balance to be found between the two. I want to be trusting my creative flow and also feel on top of things in terms of marketing my business and moving my projects forward.

I've been balanced between these before, and it feels like the best to balance them is shifting for me right now, so while things are shifting it's like both sides are vying for total control, lol.

(Update)

Once I thought about HOW I would write/draw this in my journal, everything came together.

I saw how flow and structure each have their own place, and how they contribute to me having the experience I want AND moving towards the results I want.

And actually - this is what's in the Creative Planning and Project Management class, in the Dream Plan Kit. I know this, AND how I feel about the balance, and how the balance plays out, is shifting for me right now.

(The Dream Plan Kit is only available to Dream Book members)

AND this brings me back full circle to my question for this week!!!

Re-tooling this part will go a LONG way supporting me in making more art, from a deeper place, and sharing it more often.

It needs BOTH elements.

I feel like this actually answers the question. I can go into next week and implement what I've learned and see how it goes.

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The indignity of being in the process of growth

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I write every day, Monday - Friday, about my own process of navigating the path between where I am and where I want to be.

I share these in the Daily Miracle Mastermind Posts inside the Dream Book community. I believe that showing HOW I walk my talk each day is one of the best ways of teaching.

Today's post, which is really messy and awkward, wanted to be shared out in public - which feels even more messy and awkward for me, but here I am, following my inspiration and seeing where it leads.

My goal this week:

I am exploring the question: What helps me make more art, more often, from a deeper place?

I really want to be making more art, writing more, sharing more.

I want it to all feel easier and more flowy.

There's also something in this that's like - I know I want something more but can't quite put my finger on WHAT it is.

So I am making space to sit with this question this week.

Today I am SO ANNOYED with the question.

I've got a blank page in my daytimer for this.

I filled in all the things I know that help me stay in my flow.

I'm so bored. I know this stuff. I have worked on this for so long. Why I am I here AGAIN?

Do I want to answer that?

I guess so, I don't know what else to do.

Why I am here again:

I'm not being as creative as I'd like to be.

As in, it seems to take more work to get into it.

I have more distractions.

I am more tired.

AND ALSO I feel more desire to be creating more. And that desire conflicts with what is happening and makes everything very uncomfortable.

So, yeah, I am here AGAIN. But... being here AGAIN is not a sign that I have failed, or regressed. It's just a part of the creative path.

Also - what helps changes as I change, as my life changes. Like, right now there are all of these specific things I can do to help with my peri-menopause symptoms that THAT helps very much with THIS.

OK this makes sense, I feel less annoyed that I am here AGAIN but I still feel annoyed in general, so let's bring annoyance into the Un-Sticking Station.

(The Un-Sticking Station is a class inside Dream Book for working through stucks - that link will only work for Dream Book members)

Annoyance shows up as my older teenaged - early 20s self.

OMG you are so lame. Look at all the things I make!! It's EASY to create, and you have all the opportunities I was dreaming of, and you're squandering them.

SQUANDERING?! I CREATED them.

eyeroll

I'm not going to justify myself to you. I am doing my best and I want to keep doing better and I need to know why you are so annoyed.

Because you're 48 and this should be easy by now.

*TEARS ALL AROUND*

Yes, I agree. This should be easy by now. And it's so hard for you to look 20-30 years ahead and see that it's not. Though I mean - often, it is. Sometimes it's not.

Sometimes it's not? Seems like more than sometimes.

Yeah! I mean - look at all the things I do!

I guess that's true.

Everything is just so HEAVY right now.

Annoyance is gone. Some kind of helpful guidance spirit enters the chat.

So what would help bring LIGHTNESS?

All the things I wrote on that list. Recognizing how painful the heaviness feels, recognizing how painful it feels to NOT be doing the creative things I want to be doing. Recognizing all of the conflicting feelings of everything.

This helpful guidance spirit points me to my art journal where I have been writing and drawing and painting my feelings as my Space-Making practice.

(Space-Making is a class inside Dream Book for making space to work on your dreams when working on your dreams feels like too much - that link will only work for Dream Book members)

Oh right.

It's like my creativity is in a bottle and all of these conflicting and totally valid feelings are kind of jammed in together, creating a bottle stop. I need to let them out before I can do the things I want to do.

So I took it to my journal:

Messy painting and angry journaling to let feelings out and what I came to was:

The indignity of being in the process of growth.

I need to open myself up to the process of growth and change and the possibility of healing.

Which means letting go of the places where I want to KNOW what to do next.

Being open. Following inspiration. Being willing to make mistakes, fail, and be surprised.

Today this all feels hard. But I'll do my best with it.

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What I want for my birthday

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I just shared this photo on social media and I wanted to share it here too.

I turned 48 yesterday (had a really fantastic day which I wrote about here) and the thing I want most for my birthday is to make more art, write more, and share it more, and do it all from a deeper place.

This is kind of what I always want.

And it also always feels new because my creative dreams are always taking me to new places.

The reason why I wanted to send you this photo is my dress.

I do make all of my own clothes, I sewed and embrodered this shirt dress this winter.

This is the first in a new series of clothing I am making that are for the person that I am becoming next.

These clothes are a way of making space for this new version of me.

Space-Making has been on my mind a lot.

I created a new (very small and simple) program called Space-Making for people who want to join Dream Book and work with me but don't have the capacity for FULL ON MAKING IT HAPPEN right now.

Which, to be honest, is most of us these days.

Space-Making is this magical place of self care and restoration and healing - making space for the things you need and want, rather than Dream-Building which is the work of creating the path that leads to where you want to be.

I like to do both - Space-Making and Dream-Building.

But these days I definitely CANNOT Dream-Build if I don't Space-Make.

As stressful as it is to be alive on this planet right now, this is also a time of real potential for change.

We can create a better world.

I feel that more fully these days than I ever have before.

The intersection between creative dreams and activism feels lit up with possibility.

I wanted to leave you with a few journal prompts for the weekend.

How have your dreams changed over the last 2 years?

How have YOU changed?

How do you WANT to change next?

And think about joining me in Dream Book to give your dreams a boost.

I made a new welcome video on this page, explaining where we're at in the group right now.

As the world changes, we we change, as our dreams change, I keep making adjustments to make sure Dream Book remains a supportive growth-inducing space for everyone.

Join here.

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