Healing

Journaling with self doubt.

Tiny Fairy Tales are stories from my journal where I work with the Un-Sticking Station (inside the Creative Dream Circle) to help me sort out and smooth out what’s going on in my inner world.

Journaling with self doubt

As I said at the end of my Who do you think you are? post from last week, Debbie Doubter and I have more work to do.

But she’s not showing up as Debbie Downer anymore, the voice of self-doubt became more subtle and insidious over the weekend.

And I’ve just been trying to swim away from it, but it just follows me everywhere I go.? It hasn’t been fun.

I’ve been avoiding my practice and resisting my work with Grow Your Depth because it feels like facing this self-doubt this is the next thing I have to do on that path and I don’t feel ready.? I don’t feel strong enough or sure enough.

I don’t feel ready and I’ve been letting that stop me even though I know that we never feel ready.

And waiting until you’re “ready” is just a way of avoiding the journey.

I don’t want to avoid this journey.? I trust my intention for Grow Your Depth, I trust that this process is bringing me exactly what I need.

It’s just that so much has changed already.? It’s working, and that’s scary sometimes.

Hmmm.? Until I sat down to start journaling with self doubt, I didn’t realise that I’ve been letting self-doubt slow me down because I am afraid because things have been going so well.

Like, my problem is not even about self-doubt, I just need a little space to adjust.

My intentions for Grow Your Depth were about wanting to have more fun, make new friends, feel more grounded in my daily practices and in how I run my business, be more creatively inspired and engaged and a secret “impossible dream”.

Clearly, I was ready to have these things because they’re coming in much faster than I thought they could.? Even the impossible stuff.? I was more ready than I thought I was.

Isn’t that interesting, now the self doubt feels like just a smokescreen.

Just a tiny voice who wanted to say “Hey, can we slow down a bit and give me a chance to integrate to where we are now?” but didn’t know how to say that.? Or I didn’t know how to hear it.

But now that I do hear it: Yes, we can slow down a bit.

Yes, I can give myself space to accept the gifts that are coming in now.? And focus on appreciating where I am now.? And look at my next steps without pushing myself to take them as fast as I can.


Journaling with self doubt. Read More »

Vulnerability

Tiny Fairy Tales are stories from my journal where I work with the Un-Sticking Station (inside the Creative Dream Circle) to help me sort out and smooth out what’s going on in my inner world.

vulnerability

Vulnerability is a tiny flower, so tiny it’s hard to notice that it’s actually a ballerina – what you think are flower petals are actually her tutu.

But if you get in close enough to see that she’s a ballerina and not a flower – you’re too close.

It’s harder for her to dance when someone can see that it’s a dance and not just petals bouncing in the breeze.? So hard that sometimes she just freezes up and cries and hopes you’ll go away.

Not that she doesn’t like you, of course.? It’s just that what if you don’t like her dance?

No one really judges the way a flower bounces in the wind.? People do judge the way ballerinas dance.? And this ballerina cares so much about the world that she wants to delight it.

Vulnerability wants to hide.? But she can’t delight the world if she stays in hiding.? So she camouflages instead.

When I feel vulnerable I don’t feel like a delicate tiny ballerina at all.? When I feel vulnerable I feel raw.? I feel like a giant and like everyone can see me and everyone can tell that I am just barely keeping it together.

The tiniest things get magnified when I feel vulnerable.

So what can the ballerina teach me about navigating being in an uncomfortable state of vulnerability?

(Because sometimes I feel vulnerable and it’s not uncomfortable)

Camouflage.? It’s a way of creating safety.

But camouflage is a way of fitting into a world that I don’t want to fit in with.

Oh.? Well that reminds me that vulnerability is actually a part of living my truth which is actually really important to me so damn.

Being vulnerable means my heart is exposed.

And that’s actually exactly how I want to live.


Vulnerability Read More »

“Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway” is bullshit.

"Feel the fear and do it anyway" is bullshit

My inbox has been overflowing with thank-you emails.

Thank you for being honest.

Thank you for sharing that you get scared too.

Thank you for telling the stories of the hard times.

And it can feel so good to know that you’re not alone, that it’s hard for other people.? And that just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s not possible.

It’s can feel SO good to not be alone in it.

But I don’t want to leave you with just those happy warm feelings of “I’m not in this alone”.

I want to show you that you don’t have to stay in that place, and specifically that getting out of it is a learn-able thing.

I mean yes of course there is purpose is being where you are, in not resisting how you are feeling no matter how crappy the present moment may be.

But there is no purpose is staying there.

You deserve healing.? You deserve transformation.? You deserve to have the life you want.? And you deserve it NOW.

I share my stories to share the empowerment and truth of healing and transformation.

To say “Hey!? The energy alchemy process and creative + intuitive healing + transformation I teach WORK to transform fear, doubt and uncertainty – no matter how stuck you feel”.

I’m not one of those people who can just “feel the fear and do it anyway”.

I spent FOUR YEARS studying to become a teacher of a spiritual teaching that practices the law of attraction – I still can’t “positive think” my way out of fear.? (And that was after fifteen years of studying spirituality, creativity, energy healing and personal growth)

I get scared, all the time.

I don’t always wake up in the morning believing in the beauty of my dreams.

I teach this stuff because of how much I need it.

Because it’s really important to me.

When you make this work a daily (or even just semi-regular) practice you transform the way fear functions in your inner world.

You can’t obliterate fear.? You can’t bury it so deep you’ll never have to feel it again.? You can’t just ignore it.

But you can change how it functions in your inner world, which changes how it impacts you, which changes how you see things, which changes how you behave, which changes your whole life.

There are a lot of cheesy sayings about how everything you want is on the other side of your fear.? And it’s true – that’s where your dream is right now

But I think the coolest things that you find on the other side of your fear are the things that live inside of you.? Power.? Sovereignty.? Creativity.? Trust. Clarity.? The inner resources to build your dream life.

So I don’t want to just leave you with that warm happy feeling that you’re not in it alone.

I want to leave you with the understanding that there are powerful, proven, creative processes that you can learn that will help you literally change what happens when you feel afraid.

I want to leave you with the understanding that you can learn how to transform anything which means you can create anything you want in your world.? That it really is within your reach, right now.

And I want to invite you to come and learn and play with all of this with me, in Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance.? There is magic happening in our playhouse/classroom every day, and I’d love for you to be a part of it.

“Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway” is bullshit. Read More »

I’ve hit a wall.

Tiny Fairy Tales are stories from my journal where I work with the Un-Sticking Station (inside the Creative Dream Circle) to help me sort out and smooth out what’s going on in my inner world.

wall

The pink haired fairy princess has not moved in days.

Why? Why is it so hard to move?

She can’t see anything.? With great effort, she starts to move her hands in front of her only to discover that she is flat up against a cool stone wall.

She looks down.? Oh.? She’s standing on a tiny ledge.? High up on the wall.

How did I get here?

Well, maybe it would be better to focus on the more pressing question… how are you going to get out of here?

The fairy princess isn’t sure who’s talking but is grateful for the advice.

Right, ok. I can’t go forward, I can’t go down…. hmm.? Maybe I can go up??

She reaches her hands up and sure enough, there is a ledge.? She grabs it, hoists herself up and finds herself staring into the kingdom of that-thing-she-wanted.

Oh right.? Now she remembers how she got up on this ledge.? Procrastination.? She had been poking around on facebook when she made one wrong click and found herself here.

She sits down and cries.

I want that thing that I want so badly.? But I can’t go down there.? They’ll all laugh at me, I won’t fit in, it’s not going to work, I don’t have time, I need to focus on something more productive.

Suddenly she wishes for the comfort of being flat up against the cool stone wall.? At least from there there was nothing she had to do and no one asking her to be brave.

Maybe I can just hop down there, quickly sneak out and go for lunch.

Lunch? You think lunch is going to help?

It’s that voice again.

I’m hungry, I don’t know how long I was pushing against that wall, but, yeah I think lunch will help.

What will it help you do?

Gather myself!

Gather… what?? You’re right here, aren’t you?? What needs gathering?

The fairy princess closes her eyes.

I need to gather my thoughts.? Figure out what to do.

Figure out what to do? You’re looking straight at the thing you want, and you want sulk away and figure out what to do about it? How about going over there and grabbing it?

Grabbing?!? It?

The fairy princess realises her invisible life coach is making some sense.? This is exactly what had been wanting to do, before she started procrastinating, before she started poking around on facebook

So now that she found it, why did she want to escape?

These “why” questions you ask yourself are not helping.? Trying to figure out why keeps you stuck in the situation.? Honey, you only have 2 choices: go grab the thing you want or go have lunch.? You can’t stay here.

The princess feels a kick on her back, turns around and sees a big chicken.

A chicken.? My life coach is a chicken.

Actually, it looks like YOU’RE the chicken.

I know I want it, I know it’s right there, but I’m scared… yeah, I’m chicken.

So why don’t you just go have lunch then?? If you’re a chicken then go be a chicken.

Happily eating her sandwich, sitting under a tree, the fairy princess felt much better.

Being a chicken is better than staying pressed up against the wall pretending not to be a chicken.

Baby steps.


I’ve hit a wall. Read More »

Hopelessness

Tiny Fairy Tales are stories from my journal where I work with the Un-Sticking Station (inside the Creative Dream Circle) to help me sort out and smooth out what’s going on in my inner world.

hopelessness

Hopelessness is a big bug.

It’s so big it covers your whole day and oozes sticky slime onto it.? The sticky slime makes it so hard for you to see possibilities and good things and sometimes, sometimes it even makes it hard to breath.

But if you look it in the eye, you can see that it doesn’t mean to be an asshole.

It’s just scared. And your day was a safe space for it to land and take cover from the monsters.

So let’s build it a sanctuary so it has somewhere else to go.

The Hopelessness Sanctuary.

A place full of soft blankets and warm pools and soft sunshine.? Healing salves and and a good strong hand to hold and tiny little potions that make everything all better.

There’s a bar where the bartender always knows what you want, you don’t even have to ask for it or talk at all.

There’s a massage therapist who you would swear is a magician.

And a candy store full of delicious things totally taste like candy, but never, ever make you feel that ick of having eaten too much sugar.

There are tiny cheerleaders who celebrate every time you accomplish anything, even if it’s as small as getting out of bed.? They’re totally cheering for you right now.

When hopelessness feels safe and loved, it’s body starts to shrink, and then these huge, sparkling wings spring out.

And pouf.? It’s a giant dragonfly.

And you can hang out in the shade of its sparkling wings (the shade kind of sparkles too) and just breathe.


Hopelessness Read More »

How to create your deep, amazing + wildly transformative practice.

[This post is from the content for Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance – a year-long class on deepening your practice?that?you get inside the Creative Dream Circle.]

How to create your deep, amazing + wildly transformative practice.

Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance is a support system for deepening your journaling/healing/magic-making practice, which deepens your relationship with yourself, your life and your dreams.

It is specially designed to help you develop your practice to the point where you can create a miracle for yourself when you need it, which is essentially about learning to trust your intuitive creative voice so deeply you allow it to lead you into the life you really want to be living.

What does this mean?

Well, the magic and miracles already live inside you, your practice is how you excavate them.

So, together, we’re going to practice digging deeper and building our capacity to hold more magic.

Depth work is a deep and wild thing, and not something we can control.

Our egos, or small selves, or conscious minds, can have a really hard time with this because this part of us wants to understand what’s going to happen.

You’re not always going to understand what’s going to happen.? And that’s ok.? It’s actually the only way to go into the depths.

I often have no clue what I’m doing.?

The secret is to show up anyway and you’ll quickly discover how amazing + magical this all is.

What is “practice”?

What I?m calling ?your practice? is essentially your creative + intuitive healing + transformation work/play, which happens in your journal. So to simplify I tend to call it ?your journaling practice? or ?your practice?.

But it’s more than just doing the work.? Approaching it as “a practice” is important.

The dictionary definition of practice is: ?repeated exercise in or performance of an activity or skill so as to acquire or maintain proficiency in it.?

In terms of your journaling practice, what it looks like is”sitting down with your journal and an intention to do a creative + intuitive healing + transformation process”.

(If you’re new to the Circle – don’t worry about not knowing what this means, soon you’ll have TONS of different processes to use for different purposes)

I would define practice as a container which holds your process of unfolding.

What, exactly, is unfolding, is different all the time.

This is where you work on healing and transformation and bringing dreams to life – essentially, becoming more of who you are. So, in that way, your practice is about practicing being you.

I experience my practice as a container and notice how the container gets sturdier the more I show up for it – it can hold more. It can hold me through the times when I don?t quite feel strong enough on my own.

And, of course, in the times when I?m not showing up as much, the container feels flimsier and my possibilities start to get dim.

What I bring to my practice impacts my practice. If I?m resisting something and only wanting to show up in superficial ways, my practice is only going to give me superficial benefits.

The deeper I go, the more magic exists.

Which is why I wanted to offer Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance: because we all deserve to live from that deep magic.

Plus – Grow Your Depth is the class I wanted to take this year, this is really what I need right now.

The word practice also speaks to how this work is different from performance.

There is space here to explore and try new things and get it wrong. There is nothing to measure up to, this is space to meet yourself where you are. Ironically, the more you practice the better you perform, but practice needs to be a performance-free space.

The best practice is a living thing – growing and changing along with you.

My practices change with the seasons and with my dreams. There can be a lot of awkwardness in this, as you are growing and changing and your practice is growing and changing and sometimes you can get out of step with each other.

In fact, the act of creating (and re-creating!) and navigating your practice can be frustrating and uncomfortable but it is really, really important because it’s one of the ways that your practice will grow you.

Working on your relationship with your practice is a part of your practice.

The best practice fits you and your life as it is today while supporting you in growing into who you want to become.

Daily practice is important to me, but this work is my livelihood and so I have space for it. (See my videos on Daily Practice for more on this – making it fun, inspiring and deeply nourishing helps make it easier to show up more often.)

If you push yourself to practice more than you really have time for, then you are bringing that forceful energy into your practice. On the other hand, if you are practicing less than you really need, you are bringing that resistance into your practice.

This is a continual balancing act, again – working on your relationship with your practice is a part of your practice.

One of the gifts of practice is being able to spot these kinds of energy dynamics and work with them sooner – before they get bigger and start to mess things up in your life.

Your practice is this thing you do every day or every week but as you deepen it over time it becomes something that impacts your whole life, it gives you sturdier ground to stand on.

When you practice the piano every day – you get better at playing the piano.

When you practice creative + intuitive healing + transformation every day – you get better at everything.

As I talk about in the definition section – transformation happens after healing and it’s about holding the new way of being long enough that the roots can take hold.? Without this part, it’s too easy to fall back into old patterns.

So, underneath whatever else is happening in your practice, this is the ultimate intention: transformation.? Holding the new way of being.? Getting better at showing up for yourself and living in deeper alignment with your brightest gifts.

Your practice is something you do on your own, but you’re not going to be in this alone.

ALL of the classes in the classroom, plus the Un-Sticking Station and the Creative Genius Mojo-Dojo are FULL of? tools and processes you can use in your practice.

This means you don’t have to sit down and wonder what to do – you’ve got a smorgasbord of healing + transformation processes and you get to pick what you want to play with.

If you’re new to the Circle: your first step is to play with the classes and get to know the tools and processes for creative + intuitive healing + transformation.? You can start with whatever class feels right for you (but if you’re not sure – start with the Creative Dream Incubator) and working through that class will be how you practice.

Plus there is the entire Advanced Creative Badassery Resource Library filled with hours and hours and hours of videos and classes that cover every possible situation you could come across on your path to growing your magic and bringing your dreams to life.? (I’ve spent the last three years filling the library up with everything me and my clients have ever needed in the process of bringing our dreams to life.)

You’ll have whatever tools, resources or lessons you need to navigate your path.

If you’ve been in the Circle for a while already: Grow Your Depth is about the taking the next step – taking the tools and processes that you learn in the classes, and bringing deeper into your own practice.

So you play with them and experiment with different ways of approaching and guiding your own practice, all within the supportive + magical container of Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance.

Miracles happen here all the time, and there are plenty to go around.

So let’s start!

First, remember that we have all year to work on this.

You may have too many ideas for what you want to do and not know where to start, or you may not have a clue what you want your practice to be. You may feel overwhelmed or freaked out and unsure that you can do this.

Just keep showing up and you’ll sort through this.? This is part of your practice.

You’ll start with The Starting Point prompts. This creates a record of where and how you are beginning this journey, helps you clarify what it is you want to get out of this and gives you some ideas for how to proceed.

Tracking your progress is important because when you can look back and clearly see how you?ve grown, that gives you confidence to keep going.

Plus, the process of tracking is very clarifying, and healing and transformation are often confusing so practices that generate clarity are always helpful.

So we’ll continue that tracking process every week in our sharing circle posts, but don’t worry about “having to” participate every single week – remember our guidelines about only participating in whatever way works for you.? I’ll start a new sharing circle post every Friday so there will always be a fresh one there for you when you choose to participate.

These posts are where you get to peek in on my process as I deepen my practice, which may give you clues when you feel stuck.? Also, reading what other people share is super inspiring plus you get that feeling of doing this work as a part of a supportive community, which is the best.

If you feel stuck or unsure in any way, use the Un-Sticking Station and see where that takes you. That?s the thing I use the most in my journaling practice.

(Please remember that getting stuck is a valid and needed part of the process.)

Check out my video where I share what I’ve been doing in my Grow Your Depth journal.? And you can read more about the process of Creative + Intuitive Healing + Transformation.

Mostly, trust that where you are now is the perfect place to start.

Your practice will grow you, and as it does, you will grow your practice.

So it can look shaky and unsure in the beginning, that doesn?t mean it won?t grow into a sturdy and magical container.

Remember: practice isn’t about knowing what you’re doing or being great at it! It’s about practicing.

I promise: there is a lot of magic for you here, if you give it some time and space to come to the surface.

And remember that you?re going to get tons of support.

Every week we have our sharing circle where I offer some questions for asking yourself that help you process and navigate your path.

And every week I?m adding new content to Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance – thoughts, ideas and teachings that help light the way to deep and lasting healing and transformation which can spark ideas for your practice.

Every 6-8 weeks we’ll meet for a live call where I’ll do coaching and healing work with you.? These calls happen at different times each time, to give people a chance to participate from different time zones, and if you have questions but can’t be on a call live you can post your questions in the forum and I’ll answer them on the call.

All of this will gently nudge your practice more deeply into your own process of creative + intuitive healing + transformation.

This is the class I need for myself this year.? My heart is bursting with joy about being able to do this with you.

Thank you for being here.? Let’s dive in.

If you feel inspired to do so, I encourage you to share some of your answers to The Starting Point prompts in this thread.

 

How to create your deep, amazing + wildly transformative practice. Read More »

Notes from my journal: Transforming Overwhelm

overwhelm

I’m getting everything ready for the Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance Free Tele-Class Series.

Since I need to have a lot of spaciousness in my schedule, I need most of the stuff ready to go before we start on Jan 5 – all the emails with call details scheduled, the pages you go to get the replays, blog posts, etc.

It’s not really that much work, but when I sit down to do it, I get completely overwhelmed by all the details and unknowns.

Yesterday afternoon I ended up watching Love Actually instead.

Today I need to get to work, so I am starting with exploring the overwhelm.

Physically: My heart feels constricted and small and tight. My head goes all fuzzy.? My shoulders get tense.

Emotionally: I just can’t.

So, I set the table and invite the overwhelm to sit down and have tea with me.

Overwhelm shows up as this horrible grey monster with long, sharp, pointy fingers which it wraps around the tiny tea cup to take a delicate sip of rose tea.? Then it digs into the cookies with a big smile.

“Oh thank you, this is so fabulous and delicious.? I could sit here all day.”

Oh, so my overwhelm doesn’t want to get back to work.

“Oh goodness gracious, no!? Work is scary.? Tea is fun.? I vote for fun”

The horrible grey monster is now a cartoon boy with blonde hair, quickly gobbling up the cookies and tea like he can’t get enough.

OK, so it looks like the part of me that is overwhelmed will just do anything to get me to stop working on the work.? I pick up the cartoon boy and put him in a box of calm and he kind of melts into it like he’s got a giant cookie hangover.

I put the box on the table and look at it.? What do I need? What does my overwhelm need?? What does my work need?? It feels like there are too many pieces to juggle, which is, of course, what overwhelm is.

I am sensitive.? I get overwhelmed easily, especially by details.

Do I still want to do this?? I check in with myself and yes I absolutely want to do this.

I invite the heart and soul of the free tele-class series to join me for tea.? It arrives as a queen, who happily sits down across from me, sending some love and compassion to the cartoon boy in the box of calm.

“I know this is a lot of work.? I know it’s out of your comfort zone.? But honey it’s going to be fabulous.”

Her words feel true.? This will be fabulous.? Does that mean that there are fabulous ways for me to take care of myself in the process of doing this fabulous thing?

The queen pops open a bottle of champagne.

Oh, right, she’s celebrating that I saw that if this thing is big and fabulous then my practices and approach need to be big and fabulous as well.

So, how do I fabulously tackle my to-do list?

The queen puts the bottle down and sighs.

OK, right.? Wrong question.

How do I feel fabulous and excited while getting ready to throw this great party?

The champagne is flowing again.

Of course, it’s all in my mindset.? Knowing that it’s easy for me to get overwhelmed by details, it’s important for me to bolster my energy with a positive attitude.? It’s fine that the mundane tasks I have to do are mundane, they don’t need to be fabulous.? I just need to feel fabulous.

I bring that feeling of champagne flowing into my heart and let it circulate through my body.

Yes, this is the energy I want to create from, this is the energy I want to do these tasks from, this is how I want to play with my to-do list for this event.

I’m ready to get to work.


Notes from my journal: Transforming Overwhelm Read More »

What is Creative + Intuitive Healing + Transformation?

What is Creative + Intuitive Healing + Transformation?

CREATIVE

Creativity is not about making art. In fact a lot of art-making can actually damage your creativity, if you are trying to contort your natural flow of self-expression into some pre-determined shape.

The creativity that we?re working with here is your raw and wild creative essence. It?s about knowing yourself, being yourself and expressing yourself.

It?s about listening to your creativity as it speaks to you through you imagination, and then giving it more room to play.

Yes, you’ll also be encouraged to “get creative” in your journal in whatever way you feel inspired to do – collage, doodling, painting. But it’s definitely not about making your journal look a certain way. It’s totally about embracing and nurturing your creative superpowers – your ability to create your world.

In Creative + Intuitive Healing + Transformation we use creativity to create new energy patterns in your inner world. This works because energy is directed by intention and creativity is a way of playing with intention.

INTUITIVE

Intuition is the voice of your inner wisdom. Everyone has inner wisdom and so everyone is intuitive. How much of your intuitive wisdom you are able to access in any given moment will depend on how well you?re listening to that voice. It is something that you can get better at simply by working with it more.

For true healing and transformation to occur, you have to be navigating from your own inner wisdom, otherwise you?re just following someone else?s path which can never lead to your healing. This is something you get better at doing the more you practice – and you’ll get lots of tools to help you practice.

Even if you’ve never been intuitive, you don’t have to worry about doing this part wrong. Sometimes “being intuitive” can feel so mysterious but it’s really just about learning how listening to yourself – anyone can do it.

In?Creative + Intuitive Healing + Transformation we use intuition to lead the process of creating hew energy patterns, because only your intuition knows what is best for you.

HEALING

Healing and Transformation work together, but generally healing comes first as healing creates the space where transformation is possible.

Healing is a balm that reminds you of what is true: you are perfect, whole and complete. You are safe, you are loved and you are capable of anything.

Healing is about bringing the elements of your inner world into a new structure that allows more of the core of who you are to shine out, to bring yourself into greater alignment with your self. It?s never about obliterating any of the beings or elements that live in your inner world.

In?Creative + Intuitive Healing + Transformation we use healing to dissolve un-helpful patterns and bring you into a place of calm and power, so you can create new patterns.

TRANSFORMATION

Healing is a balm. Transformation is a whole new way of being.

Energy is like water, flowing like a river through the bed. If you move the river bed, you change the way the water flows. Conscious transformation is all about moving the river bed and then planting trees along it to stabilize the banks in their new places.

There is this tug-of-war that happens when you shift into a new way of being, where it?s like you are being bounced back and forth between the old and new ways. Most people tend to give up at this point, and go back to their old ways. Of course you can never go all the way back, you?ll always bring a bit of that transformation with you because being in the process changes you. But you won?t be able to live from your glorious new possibilities if you allow yourself to shift back into your old patterns.

This can be a confusing and difficult time. So if you?re feeling confused and challenged, that means you?re doing it right – remember to be vigilant about giving the transformation what it needs to take root.

In the?Creative + Intuitive Healing + Transformation process, transformation is where you?ll spend most of your time.

I’m excited to dive deeper than ever into all of this in 2015, in Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance

What is Creative + Intuitive Healing + Transformation? Read More »

RADICAL healing and transformation

radical

Healing happens all the time. Every time you give space for your actual feelings or are honest with yourself about what you really want or make art or feel love you experience a taste of healing.

RADICAL healing and transformation speaks to working at a deeper level and reaping greater benefits – a healing so complete it transforms you and your whole world.

This is the realm of miracles, enhanced possibility and impossible dreams made manifest.

Because you truly are capable of anything, but you’re going to have to get out of your own way first.

The opposite of radical healing and transformation is spiritual by-pass.

Unfortunately, spiritual by-pass is often mistaken for radical healing and transformation, but it’s just a fancy and spiritual-sounding way of sabotaging your greatest potential.

It’s a really insidious way of sabotaging yourself because it keeps you in denial about what you’re doing which keeps you, and your whole life, in a holding pattern.

Spiritual by-pass means you are using spiritual concepts and ideas to by-pass your actual feelings and experience.? The problem is that you’re not usually aware that you’re doing this, you just think you’re “being spiritual” and “thinking positive”.

Being pulled out of spiritual by-pass is crazy uncomfortable because you are suddenly confronted with all this stuff that you’ve been in denial about, plus you’re confronted with how you’ve been lying to yourself about being in denial, which is embarrassing if you think of yourself as an awake and conscious human being.

It really sucks.? And it’s totally liberating.

Because once you see it you can do something about it.? Once you see it you can see all the ways that you have been in your own way, so you can get out of your way, and get to that place where there is no need to “think positive” because you’re too busy being in love with your life.

RADICAL healing and transformation.

Going in deeper.? Opening up wider.? Surrendering to the process and discovering inner gifts more amazing than you ever thought were possible for you to have.

There is no substitute for living from this place and until you get there your heart is always going to be longing for it.

Though you don’t “get there” of course.

The heart will always continue to lead you towards living on your own edge of RADICAL healing and transformation – just beyond what you think is possible.

Can you see how this transforms not only you – but your whole world?

I wish this for me and for you and for everyone.

But starting with me and you.

Starting with the people who are already connected to their creativity and spirituality.

Starting with the people who are already interested in exploring the fullness of their potential.

This is deep, big, hard work and it’s only for the people who are genuinely ready to dig in.? Starting with us, and digging in deep, we can create a whirlpool of healing and transformation that can eventually engulf the whole world.

This is what I am doing in 2015, in Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance.


RADICAL healing and transformation Read More »

The Fairy Who Had No Wings

fairy
I’m trying to do the thing that I want to be doing today.? But there is this fairy buzzing around.

I mean, she’s not buzzing, she’s standing.? And she’s not a fairy, deep down what she really is is a fairy, but what she’s being right now is more of an oaf.

Fairy cries.

I’m sorry, I’m not meaning that as an insult, I’m just trying to explain the situation.? You do seem like an oaf.

Don’t you see?!? It’s these boulders!? I’ve got BOULDERS on my SHOULDERS!

Sure enough, she’s got bounders on her shoulders and that is enough to make anyone appear oak-like.

Can I help take them off?

No! I need them.? The boulders are my wings.? My wings turned into boulders.? We need to turn them back into wings, not cut them off!?

I look at her.? I look at my notebook.? See, I’m trying to do the thing that I wanted to do today.? And the fairy has been distracting me and now she wants to me get involved in this boulder-transformation process but really I need to do the thing that I want to do today.

Fairy moves to stand between me and my notebook.

Look, I don’t know how to turn boulders into wings.

But you’ve got the magic.

I know.? But it’s, like, I don’t know, everything is off today and I just want to do the thing that I wanted to do today.

Well, you’d be doing it if you wanted to be doing it.? I’m here because you’re not doing it.? I came here to help you do it.

How?

A little help with the boulders?

I’m sorry fairy, I don’t know how to transform boulders into wings.? I don’t even know how to do the thing I want to do today.

Oh that.? You can do that.? You can do THAT in your sleep.? You’re not doing it not because you don’t know how.? You’re not doing it because of the boulders.? You need the boulders transformed as much as I do.

Hmm.

(long silence)

Yeah, ok.? Let’s explore.? I reach around the fairy to grab my notebook and open it up to a fresh new page:

BOULDERS: heavy, earth-bound

WINGS: light, fly-sky

So bounders and wings are kind of the opposite of each other.? What made the wings become their opposite?

Fairy holds up a mirror and sure enough, I am the opposite of myself.

(long silence)

Shit.

(long silence)

I turn to a fresh page in my journal: I need a re-me-i-fier.

A clear glass chamber appears and I step in.? There are all these buttons I can press.? Stillness seems like the best one to try, so I hit Stillness and I am transported to the park, in the early early morning.? Birds are singing, ducks are swimming and I am still.? I breathe it in.

Next I try Creative.? I am transported over to the other side of the Dream Loft, surrounded by driftwood and papier mache and paints.? I’m inspired and excited and alive.? I breath it in.

I am me again.

And the fairy flies away.


The Fairy Who Had No Wings Read More »

Creating e-courses as an act of healing + transformation

ecourses

In 2011, I created the Creative Dream Incubator e-Course.? This is an in-depth master class in the art of bringing ANY dream to life (I still get emails all the time from people thanking me for how that class changed their lives).

I actually created the Creative Dream Incubator for my own younger self.

The me who struggled with having enough time and money for her dreams.? The me who thought she was so good at thinking positive but was actually drowning in limiting beliefs and fears.? The me who thought she was following her heart but was actually vacillating between grasping at straws and listening to her inner critics.

Once I learned how to access and work with the magic within, I wanted to send this knowing back in time to me-from-then so that she didn’t have to struggle so hard.

Creating that course was deeply healing for me, and helped me close the door to the part of my life that was marked by struggle, and step more fully into the life I wanted.

And now here I am, creating another in-depth master-class.? And it’s just as big and healing as the first one.

Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance is an in-depth master-class in the art of Creative + Intuitive Healing + Transformation.? It shows you how to go so deeply into the process of internal transformation that it changes your whole outer world.

I started working on this because I was becoming frustrated by how few people actually understand the depths, and how mistaking the shallows for the depths will limit your possibilities for your whole life.

But as I keep working on it I’m seeing that that’s not why I’m creating this.

I’m actually creating it for me.

Just like that love-wrapped experience of creating The Creative Dream Incubator for my past self, this time I’m creating for my future self.? The me who wants to go deeper into her own process next year.

I’m lovingly building a structure that will allow me to dive in deeper to my own depths, using the magic of creativity and intuition and deep soul communion I can see what I need next and build it before I get there.

As I’m doing this, I’m feeling so loved and supported.? All that love and support cycles back into my creative process, helping me build an even better structure.

So as I’m writing this program, I’m delighting in how these words are going to help lift me up when I need it.

That I get to invite people to join me in this adventure is the big juicy cherry on top.

Especially now that I have the experience of knowing that when I create something that deeply serves my own needs – that deeply serves the needs of other people like me, too.

Create what your own heart is craving.? I think this is the best way to work.

There is a special kind of magic in creating from this place, and all of the love and healing that you experience while creating the thing will be there for the people who buy it from you.

If you’re a teacher, it’s important to own your authority.? I’ve been studying this for 20 years.? I have in-depth training and accreditation as a spiritual teacher and energy healer.

When I place myself in the position of student, and create what I need, I’m still creating from that place of authority. You need to be in your own authority in order to create a space where people can really learn from you.

Your authority creates the container that holds the potential for transformation.

Teachers who don’t take the time to nurture and grow their own authority are not capable of holding space for deep transformation for their students.? Often they’re not even aware that they’re doing this, this is how shallow becomes mistaken for deep and everyone’s possibilities become limited.

So, holding your authority is important.

But putting yourself into the position of student at the same time is magical.? It keeps you vulnerable and awake and in touch with the needs of your students.

A teacher who isn’t willing to be a student can wind up being too harsh.? If your students don’t feel safe with you, they can’t go deeper into their transformative process and again – everyone’s possibilities become limited.

For me, the sweet spot with all of this is when I stay engaged in my own process and aware that my own work holds the space for my student’s work.

It turns the class into a living laboratory of healing and transformation – both for you and your students.

I am so deeply grateful that I get to do this.


Creating e-courses as an act of healing + transformation Read More »

Why Art Journaling Is Not Enough

artjournal

Art journaling is becoming popular out in the world and this is very good! People are waking up to the inherent healing benefits of being creative and only good can come from that.

It?s true that just making art is healthy and good for you.

And it?s also true that if you want to actually dig in and transform your self and your life, more is needed.? And that part keeps getting lost in the shuffle.

Starting a creative practice is only the first step.

And the skills, techniques and practices that you need to get started are different than the skills, techniques and practices that take you to the next level.

It takes a special set of skills to successfully navigate the process of internal transformation.

Engaging in the creative process is beautiful and magical but it’s only a doorway to deep down healing and transformation.

Obviously the doorway is super important, but the doorway is not the journey, it?s only there to get you started.

Too many people are taking those tiny bites of healing and then mistaking those tiny bites for all there is – which means they’re settling for much less than the full-blown bliss of inner healing and transformation.

To get to the next level, your creative practice has to stop being about the art and start being about the inner journey.

You can tell where you are in this by how you feel about what you?re creating.

  • Do you want it to look a certain way? If so, you?re staying on the surface.
  • Are you so immersed in your own brilliant depths that you don?t care what your art looks like anymore? If so, then you?re on the real journey.

Creating a gorgeous art journal as a record of your life is wonderful. But it?s nothing compared to learning how to skillfully navigate your own brilliant depths.

That?s what I wish for you and that?s where we?re going in 2015, in the Creative Dream Circle.

Right now I’m thrilled to be working on something new for the Circle:

Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance: 12 months of deep-down creative + intuitive healing + transformation.

I’ll be sharing more details over the next month.? The magic will start in January, but if you join the circle today you can use December to work through the amazing classes that are already there which creates the foundation for where we’re going next.

 


 

Why Art Journaling Is Not Enough Read More »

Excavating Delight

delight

As a part of what we’re doing in The Peaceful Happy Holiday Season class, I’m finding ways to connect to delight every day.

The more I do this, of course, the easier it gets.

The more I do this, the more tiny new doorways to delight get opened up inside of me.

The more I do this, the more I learn about what delights me and how to invite more of it into my life.

This is me, yesterday morning, feeling delighted by wearing a dress and tights I’d made myself:

I haven’t bought any clothes in well over a year, I’ve been sewing everything myself, which brings me a lot of joy – in the designing, making and wearing of handmade things.

I’m also enjoying my yoga practice about a billion times more now that I am finding new layers of delight in it.

Heck, on Saturday night I delighted in giving my bathroom a thorough cleaning.

Delight is everywhere because it lives inside of you.

By holding the intention to pay attention, you can activate and magnify it.

Circle members: don’t forget to keep playing with this! I love reading about your daily delights in the forum.? So much inspiration in there!


Excavating Delight Read More »

Growing out my grey hair. This is not brave.

When I turned 40 earlier this year, I decided to stop colouring my grey hair.

While I had originally stated colouring my hair for fun and self-expression, by my mid-thirties I was definitely colouring it to cover the grey. After colouring it for fun for so long, and then finding I wasn't really enjoying it anymore and wishing for my natural colour, I felt daunted by the growing-out process.

But facing the prospect of monthly hair dying for the rest of my life started to seem, well, stupid. I was using hennas, so at least I wasn't dosing myself in toxic chemicals every month, but it was still time, money, and energy that would be better used nurturing my dreams.

(In fact, the less time women spend trying to change their bodies so that they can fit into some kind of ridiculous "standard", the better.? Our society is extremely juvenile when it comes to this and I have no more patience for any of it.)

So, awkward growing-out process be damned, I decided to let my greys grow out.

One month later, when confronted with how brassy and weird my dyed-brown hair was looking as the dye faded, I decided to have fun with my dyed hair while it was growing out.

I bleached out my dyed hair, and then played with various shades of purples and pinks.

This was REALLY GOOD for growing out roots, because my roots would pick up the purples and pinks a little bit, then they'd be more vibrant on the bleached hair, so it seemed less awkward than having the two tone hair.

But after several months of this started to get tired of it, and decided to go super-short to get rid of all of my dyed hair.

And as of last night, there is no more dye in my hair.

 

I want to make this very clear: THIS IS NOT BRAVE.

I do NOT want to live in a world where it is considered "brave" for a woman to show up as her actual self. That is just so many layers of fucked up I can't even!

Please think about that.

When I told people about what I was doing I heard so much "You are so brave!" and "I would LOVE to do that but I can't because ____".

I get it. It can feel like a big deal.

It changes how other people see you. If you read my blog you already know that what other people think of you is none of your business so while worrying about this is a supreme waste of time AND it's taking much needed energy away from your dreams.

At the same time - how you feel is also valid. So you've got to work through it - otherwise you're letting it control you.

This also forces you to deal with your own biases against and fears about aging. Which is good stuff, since you'll either age or you'll die.

But what it really comes down to is self-acceptance. If you need to change something about yourself in order to feel ok, that's a problem and it's seriously messing with your vibe.

If you think you can't stop colouring your greys, really really think about what it is that you're telling yourself.

Really really think about why you would spend time, money and energy on this particular activity and really really think about what else you could do with that time, money and energy. (I bet your creative dreams could find some fantastic uses for them)

You may also want to think about whether or not you really want people in your life who would judge you for having the hair that you actually have.

I mean, it's just hair. Why is it so important that it be one colour instead of another?

There is nothing wrong with your body doing what your body does.

There is something VERY wrong with a society that wants you to change your body so that you can "fit in" or whatever.

The truth is, the more you can show up as your self, the more POWERFUL you can be in your life.? The less you worry about what other people think the more free you are to soar.

Everything you do to change your body in order to be "acceptable" seriously messes with your energy. You wind up contorted and powerless. This is the kind of stuff that makes your dreams seem impossible, but they're not impossible it's just that you'd have to use your energy and resources differently.

I want to live in a world where we're all free to be our actual, powerful selves. The world we live in is never going to just offer that to us, each one of us has to take it upon ourselves to do it for ourselves.

Growing out my grey hair. This is not brave. Read More »

Hello November, let’s do this right.

I’ve been getting ready for winter.? I went through my front closet and took all the summer stuff out – picnic blankets, sunscreen, bug spray, paniers for my bike – and started to bring the winter stuff in.

This is something I appreciate about the Dream Loft – I don’t have much storage space.? In my old house, there was lots of room for everything so I wasn’t as intentional and deliberate about getting ready for the seasons.? My parkas stayed in the front closet all summer, and the picnic blankets stayed there all winter.

Now I’ve got a tiny IKEA armoire by my front door for the things I need there, and a deacon bench in my bedroom for the things that I don’t need right now.? I like this way of having to get ready for the change of seasons.

I tried on my parka and fell in love with it all over again.? This is the one I bought when I sold my car and decided to walk everywhere last winter.? I made sure all the snaps and zippers still worked, washed it and hung it up downstairs, ready to go when it gets colder.

I went through my boots and found I do need another pair as walking everywhere did wear out last year’s boots.? I ordered these and now I can’t wait to start walking in snow -? they are the most comfortable things to ever happen to my feet!

I got yarn and started knitting a new hat and mitts, which makes me super happy.? I got a gym membership, so I can trade in cycling for swimming (and sauna-ing!), and maybe stationary cycling if I really miss my bike over the winter.? I stocked up on candles and chai tea.

I’m really greeting November with open, loving arms which is so funny in light of how I met September this year – kicking and screaming and doing everything I could to hold onto summer.

Of course I prefer being intentional and present and finding all the best ways to make the most of what is happening, but that’s not always possible.? It’s really good for me to notice this, how transition was so hard for me two months ago, and it’s so delightful right now.? The next time I find myself in a difficult transition, maybe I can remember that.

I live in one of the most varied climates in the world.? Hot summers, cold winters.? The seasons have such a huge impact on everything here.? I like that a lot.? And I like noticing how my relationship to the change of seasons ebbs and flows.

Being as awake and present as I can be with November is how I am preparing for my next class: The Peaceful Happy Holiday Season: tools & magic to get you through the holiday season with your sparkle intact.

This is really important to me: diving into the magic of what this season has to offer instead of buying into societal pressures and external expectations about how you should be spending your time, money and energy.? I’ll have more to say about that tomorrow.


Hello November, let’s do this right. Read More »