Healing

On Having Your Ass Kicked By The Creative Process

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On Having Your Ass Kicked By The Creative Process

This year I set out to create a series of Creative Journal Classes* that would show, specifically, how to use your journal to generate breakthroughs, miracles and magic.?

And I do mean that literally.? As one of the Circle member said this week:

“Since I joined the Creative Dream Circle I feel like I am on the fast track to success. Breakthroughs that would happen a couple of times a year are now happening weekly and even daily.”

There has been a lot of joy in the creation of these classes. I feel very lucky and grateful that I got to create this series of classes that I wanted to create.

And, because it’s important to me to share the TRUE, ACTUAL stories of living with my dreams, I’ll also say that creating each one has absolutely kicked my ass.

I don’t always wake up believing in myself.

I don’t always know how to get to where I want to be.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been really struggling with getting The Superpower Journal Class ready.? I’ve been tired.? And irritable.? And bored.? And wishing I could give up.? And eating too much chocolate peanut butter gelato.

It’s not easy for me.? It’s not easy for anyone.

Creating this class was: hard. stuck. hard. ouch. idea. flow. flow. flow. stuck! hard. hard. cry. idea. flow. flow. flow. flow. stuck. flow. idea. yes! go. go. go. flow. flow. flow. everything falls perfectly and beautifully into place. DONE.

It’s not easy for me.? To create a space where people can actually transform what is happening inside of them, so that new possibilities open up outside of them?? Of course that’s not going to be easy.? But once I get there, no matter how hard the journey was, I get so much joy out of it, every time.

Our inner critics tell us that other people have it better.? That is IS easy for them.? That since it’s hard for you, you may as well give up, because you’re only going to fail.

We all go through this, it’s a part of the creative process, which comes into play if you’re creating a painting or a new business or a new way of being.

It takes a lot of courage to drop those (untrue!) stories and learn how to stand tall in your personal power and create your world however YOU want it to be.

Teaching is how I stay on my own leading edge of growth and creativity. It’s how I cultivate the courage to keep doing the work that is meaningful to me.

I do this work because the world needs us sensitive artist types to wake up, own our power, and create inspiring things that change the world.

This matters to me.? I’m willing to get uncomfortable for it.? I’m willing to take risks for it.? I’m willing to show up every day, and work towards it.

I’m willing to do it even though it is FAR from easy.

Dreams are worth it.? YOU are worth it.

Living live in tune with your inner truth is worth it.

Purpose. Meaning. Heart. Authenticity. Wildly Free Abundant Creative Living.? If these things were easy everyone would be doing them!?

Please remember that: it’s hard for everyone.? It’s not just you.? It doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

And, of course, you are invited to join me for The Superpower Journal class tomorrow – a deep dive into healing and transforming your relationship with power, with glitter glue and crayons.? It’s happening inside the Creative Dream Circle.

*The series of classes I’m talking about are: Love your Life Creative Journal Class, The Magic Journal Creative Journal class and The Superpowers Journal.? Superpowers starts tomorrow, the other two are already available inside the Creative Dream Circle.

 

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Hello Resistance, Part 736 (this time with a surprise ending)

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resistance

I keep sitting down to do The Thing and then not doing The Thing.

I also keep not sitting down.? I’m doing dishes and sweeping the floor and puttering around.

What’s up with this? I want to do The Thing.? But every time I go to do it I don’t do it.

The part of me that doesn’t want to do The Thing is a pouty little girl.

What’s up?

We don’t HAVE TO do this so why do you keep making me sit down at this typewriter? It makes no sense. I want to play.

What do you mean we don’t HAVE TO do this? I want to do this, don’t you?

Well, the point of it is to make money, right? And we don’t need money right now.

Well the point of it isn’t to make money, the point is to [purpose of The Thing].

The pouty girl lights up.

I like that!? I love it actually. I want this!

Yes! Me too!? So how about we sit down and work on this, now fueled by how much we love the purpose of The Thing?

Yeah. She says, less enthusiastically…

Oh. There really isn’t any resistance.? But the timing feels off.

So I go visit my inner time-keeper, the wizard who lives inside the big grandfather clock.

He gives me a great big hug.

Oh sweetie, why do you do this to yourself? Why do you push against time?? The project is still baking!

The wizard points to the oven and sure enough there’s the project, baking.

My impatience just kind of melts away.? The pattern of pushing myself to get to work while also resisting getting to work melts away.

I love this project and want it to be baked to perfection.

And so I went off to play.


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How Drawing Mandalas Helps You Heal And Transform Your World

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It?s Mandala Week on my blog!? Every day this week I?m posting about the magic of Mandalas, in celebration of The Mandala Class, which starts next Monday, September 15.

How drawing mandalas helps you heal and transform your world

Today’s post builds on what I wrote yesterday I wrote about How Drawing Mandalas Helps You Be More Intuitive.

Healing is about coming into deeper alignment with your truth.

At your core you are pure sparkling spirit.? Infinitely creative, wise, joyful and loving.? Full of life.? Ridiculously inspired.? Deeply purposeful.? You’re here on a mission and you’ve got all the resources and support you need to complete that mission.

(Your dreams point you towards your mission, we’ll explore more about that in tomorrow’s post)

While this is the truth of who you are at your core, this may not always be how you experience yourself or your life.

When that is the case, healing the disconnect between your soul truth and your experience in this moment brings you back into alignment with your soul truth.

Healing is something I work on every day.

I have all these parts of me who are not in alignment with my soul truth:

  • The part of me that secretly wonders if everyone else knows something I don’t.
  • The part of me that thinks that believing in dreams is ridiculous.
  • The part of me that thinks I can never work hard enough.
  • The part of me who is working her ass off to be “good enough”.
  • The part of me who just wants to hide.

So here I am, in my bus of creativity and joy, driving along the path of dreams.

If I let any of these parts of me anywhere near the driver’s seat they turn the bus around so fast my head starts to spin.? They’ll drive me halfway to the land of Let’s Just Not Go After Our Dreams before I even know what’s happening.

It takes discipline to stay in the driver’s seat and keep the bus steered towards my dreams.

I used to think it was just easier for other people to stay positive.

Or that because I have all these doubts, that must mean I’m not actually good enough to make my dreams real.

I wondered if I was doing something wrong.? That success must just be for other people.

Before I understood how healing actually works, I didn’t even realise how many little monsters were steering my bus.? No wonder I was constantly taking steps but not really getting anywhere!

This is the really tricky part – these voices have been whispering lies to you for so long you don’t think to question them.? Listening to them is all you know.

Any thought that says that you are not 100% amazing, gifted and capable of bringing your dreams to life is a lie.

Healing is about transforming the lies and bringing yourself back into truth: you’re an absolute superstar and you can do anything.? This kind of healing is an integral part of making your dreams real because it’s how you get in touch with your power source.

If you’re working on your dreams, but it feels like you’re on a bit of a hamster wheel (you’re moving as fast as you can but not getting to where you want to be) that means more healing is needed.? You’re listening to the wrong inner voices, which are steering you in the wrong direction.

So where do Mandalas fit in?

The main reason why you listen to and act from your inner critics and limiting beliefs is because that’s what you’re used to.? It’s an established pattern.

Most people just swirl around in their established patterns for their whole lives.

But if you want to make your dream real you know you need to change the patterns.

To change the patterns you need to be aware of them, and you need to access the deeper truth beneath the pattern so you can see a new possibility and then shift into it.? Which is easier said than done.

A lot of things help with this. Mandalas are one of them.

Mandalas are particularly useful if you are a creative person who is drawn to colour and pattern, and if you like the idea of drawing and colouring.

In my How To Draw Mandalas tutorial I talk about how it’s all about your approach and the awareness you bring to the process.

While you’re drawing Mandalas, you are essentially creating patterns.? And then you move onto the next row in the Mandala and you create NEW patterns.? Shapes shift and change.? New possibilities emerge.

As you are working with creating and re-creating patterns on the page, you are in the energy of creating and re-creating patterns. It’s hard not to notice how the elements you’re working with are really fluid and they can be put together in different ways.

Shifting patterns.? Once you start to see how some patterns can shift, it opens up new ways of seeing.? If x can shift in this way, could y shift in that way?

It feels to me that this is happening subliminally beneath the surface as I’m drawing Mandalas.? And once in a while a seed germinates and pops up into consciousness as a result.

The main way how drawing mandalas helps you heal and transform your world is through connecting with intuition.

Looking at everything I said yesterday about How Drawing Mandalas Helps You Be More Intuitive, and how it’s all about being connected with our inner superpowers you can see how that is also how I am describing healing.

Being more connected to your inner truth helps you root out the lies that keep you small.? Rooting out those lies is what healing is.

Intuitive healing is, in my opinion, the most powerful kind of healing because it’s coming from exactly the part of you that you want to be more in touch with!? Any other approach to healing, where you’re working through someone else’s process or following specific steps or using certain tools is just clumsy.

What really heals you is connecting to who you really are, so allowing who you are to be steering your process (aka intuitive healing) is really the most effective way to go.

But all of this is really hard to explain with words!

That is exactly why Mandalas are a good tool for working with intuition and healing – they bypass words and bring you into the experience.

This is what we?ll be doing in The Mandala Class, which starts next Monday, September 15.

And tomorrow I?ll be blogging about the other part of this – working with Mandalas for bringing your dreams to life.

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Hello Overwhelm

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overwhelm

Overwhelm is moving so fast I can’t really see it.? But I can tell that it feels actually kind of happy, like there are a lot of different possibilities dancing in it.

Huh, this is interesting – I feel overwhelmed, and yet overwhelm feels like dancing.? What?

Deep breath.? I just want to meet myself where I am.? I don’t have to make sense of where I am.? My feelings don’t have to make sense, they are valid just as they are.

OK, I am confused because I feel overwhelmed but overwhelm seems to feel happy.? So why can’t I just feel happy?

Overwhelm is a juggling act that is moving so fast I can’t see exactly what is happening.? I worry that things will get lost in the juggling.

Overwhelm trusts itself to handle everything.

So does that mean I don’t trust myself to handle everything?

No, I guess I don’t.? Because I am worried about dropping things.? And I’m worried about not dropping things, but exhausting myself in the process.? I’m worried about not doing my best work.? I’m worried about making the wrong decision.? I’m worried that people will be upset that I am not doing things they way that they want me to do things.

Take each of those worries, and times by the four major projects that each need to be done RIGHT NOW.? And then throw in the 2 projects that I really want to be doing.

Yeah, I see why I feel overwhelmed.

I am so curious!? Why is overwhelm happy and dancing?

(more sitting with it)

I see it more clearly now, it looks like a whirling dirvish (Sufi dancer).? This isn’t the best photo, but this is where I saw whirling dirvishes, inside an old hamman, in Istanbul:

istanbul - sultanahmet

How amazing is this?? I LOVED the whirling dirvishes.? I totally remember that night, they were not spinning out of control.? More like spinning in ecstasy.

All these projects, all these decisions, all these worries, this is what I’m dancing with right now.

The more things I am dancing with, the more potential the dance contains.? It’s a good thing.

That’s why overwhelm feels happy.? Potential and possibilities and creating wonderful new things.? Dancing new dreams into life.

Ummmm, so I don’t actually feel overwhelmed at all.

It’s just my fears and inner critics get stirred up by new things, so they are stirred up, and they made up a story about overwhelm (!) ?The purpose of the story is to slow me down and keep me where I am.

Holy crap!? My whole life I have been easily overwhelmed and I feel that starting to unravel right now.

  • I don’t actually feel overwhelmed if I do one thing at a time.
  • I don’t actually feel overwhelmed when I am trusting myself.
  • II don’t actually feel overwhelmed if I being present and emotionally honest with myself.

Most of the times when I have felt overwhelmed, really I was just believing a bullshit story that my fears and inner critics were telling me.

So what does that mean?? What do I do with this?? How does knowing this change what’s happening for me right now?

  • The many projects on my plate feel a little more fun and a little less daunting.
  • I’m remembering how much I love my work and am grateful for these projects.
  • I have more permission to take the time I need to get things done.
  • I’m remembering that things usually take less time than I think they will.? Um, except for the times when things take more time than I think they will.? The more important thing to remember here is that the timing really isn’t up to me.
  • It feels easy to approach my Creative Genius Planning Session for this week from a spirit of curiosity and trust and to find a way to make it all work.
  • I still have more questions than answers, but instead of that feeling frustrating and scary it feels like a natural part of growing and creating.? And it gets to suck and feel frustrating sometimes but that doesn’t have to throw the whole dance off it’s rhythm.
  • I trust myself to do my best.
  • My stomach isn’t all in knots anymore.

So now I’m feeling like my insides were just re-arranged, so I will stop there for tonight, and come back to this tomorrow in my Creative Genius Planning Session.

These stories I’ve been sharing, of meeting with resistance and overwhelm and procrastination are my notes from my trips to the Un-Sticking Station in the Creative Dream Circle – notes from the intuitive healing process.


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Resentment. Part Two.

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Last week I shared a story about feeling resentful.

So later on I sat with my glowing red ember.

You can’t heal anything that you can’t be with.

And it turns out I have a long history of not being with this glowing red ember, and I don’t really know how to be with it.

So I start by asking it what it wants.

It wants space.? Space to glow red and hot.? But BIG space, and PRIVATE space, so that she can glow as red and hot as she likes and she won’t hurt anyone.

Like a cave?

Yes, like a cave.? A cave that no one can come in.

No one? Ever? I love that you don’t want to hurt anyone but I would sure love to come and visit you, if that’s ok with you.

Oh yes! I would love visitors!? I just don’t want anyone to wander into the cave not knowing that I am here, and get burned.

So many if we set up a little checkpoint to let people know you’re here, so they can be careful?

Yes, I like that.

I sit down along the walls of the cave.? The glowing red ember is glowing in the center of the cave.

Is this enough room?

Yes, I like this.? I really like having space to glow.

I kept you buried for a long time, and you didn’t have space to glow, right?

Well, I was still still glowing.? It’s just that the dirt glowed.? Here, when I have more space, the air glows.? I really like it when the air glows.

Hmmm.? A little ironic that my resentment is not resentful towards me for burying her.

Oh gosh no, I love you.? I’m here to help.

Something deep inside me shifted when I realised that, and I sat with it for a few days.

I always love when my clients feel resentful about something because resentment tends to come from deep self-care.? Resentment speaks up for you when you’re not doing the best job of speaking up for yourself.

So I was feeling resentful about how much time I put into creating my classes and how much time the new Mandala class was going to take.? Which is weird, because I LOVE creating classes and I LOVE that this is my job and I am GRATEFUL.

But, apparently, also resentful.

When I gave BOTH my love of what I’m doing and resentment towards what I’m doing space to exist and be three things became very clear:

  1. I am not unhappy with what I’m doing.? I’m very happy actually.
  2. There is this other thing I want to be doing too.
  3. It would be easy for me to make space to do BOTH things.? In fact, the other thing I want to do will fuel and nurture the classes, and vice versa.

The red glowing ember is glowing happily.

It just wanted me to be doing more things I could love doing.


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A conversation with resentment.

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A conversation with resentment.

I feel resentful, and ashamed that I feel resentful and resisting both feeling resentful and feeling ashamed and telling myself I should feel differently.

Oy. No wonder it is hard to get to work this morning.

My feelings, even the most vicious and angry ones, rarely show up as monsters. But today, this feeling, is a monster.

I?m sitting across the table from it. I?m placing two facts on the table:

  1. How I feel is valid. It doesn?t have to make sense to my logical mind.
  2. This is the time of the month when everything feels wrong. Maybe I can cut myself some slack?

As the monster picks up these two facts, he transforms into the Cookie Monster. The two facts are now chocolate chip cookies which are quickly being gobbled up.? There are crumbs flying everywhere.

Crumbs. Little crumbs of what is true.

I get to feel how I feel. Things get to suck right now. Or, actually things don?t suck but I get to feel like they suck.

Well that doesn?t make sense. Life is going soooo good for you right now, it?s so stupid that you would feel resentful about anything! Look at how much you have!

So, you can?t agree that my feelings don?t have to make sense? Would you say that to someone else? If someone felt sad would you tell them to feel happy?

No. Of course not. If you felt sad that would be ok. But resentful? With everything that you have? That?s gross.

Oh, so I don?t get to feel resentful, ever?

You have no reason to.

Why is resentful different from sad? If I can be sad for no reason why can?t I be resentful for no reason?

Because resentful is ugly. You have to be a small bitter little person to be resentful when you have everything that you have.

Wow, who make up that rule?

It?s just?. I don?t know. It?s true.

Remember that cookie you ate that said that how I feel is valid?

Yeah, it?s giving me indigestion.

OK. So if all feelings are valid, then you get to feel judgmental and upset that I feel resentful, and I get to feel resentful.

I hand Cookie Monster some bubblegum flavoured medicine for his indigestion.

Yikes!? I was trying to change how the monster felt, so it would validate how I feel.

But the truth is that all feelings are valid and there is space here for all feelings.

The table got bigger, and instead of sitting at small, hard chairs now we?re sitting in great big comfy stuffed sofas.

But it?s interesting, Cookie Monster, how much judgement and upset you have towards me feeling resentful.? When did it become a rule that I don?t get to feel resentful?

Oh. Right. That’s when.

OK, no need to re-hash that story but yes I see where and when and how it became a rule that I don?t get to feel resentful. And I see that you, Cookie Monster, are trying to make sure I?m ok.

Because it?s not safe to feel resentful.

But that was then. And now I make the rules. And it really is a rule that I get to feel whatever I actually feel.

*poof* Cookie Monster disappears.

I am alone with my resentment, which is a small red glowing ember.

It feels like it?s been buried for a long time. And it has a lot that it can teach me, but first we need to get to know each other.


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Making Space For Things To Change.

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I spent yesterday morning cleaning the Dream Loft and re-arranging – moving furniture, organising drawers, experimenting with how I want things to be.

Making Space For Things To Change

Really, I was making space for a new me who was ready to emerge.

A me who is more connected to her inner magic and more willing to use it and live it and be it.

Because yesterday afternoon we had the live tele-class part of The Magic Journal Creative Journal Class, which is really an energy healing with journals and glitter pens.

We pinpointed the energy patterns that would need to be transformed to make space for us to align more fully with our inner magic, and then we started the process of transforming those energy patterns.? Then that deep internal alignment just kind of falls into place.

After our call I was so glad I had re-arranged things and made my space feel so different because I felt so different on the inside.

The part of me who is always connected to her DEEP magic was bigger.? The part of me who is unsure was smaller.? It’s a little disorienting.

Inner work is so invisible.? And energy patterns are easy to shift in the moment, but it’s trickier to hold a new way of being over time.

I like to re-arrange my space, especially getting rid of old stuff and being really thoughtful about what new stuff my new self will need, to help hold and solidify new ways of being.

To remind me that things have changed and to help me get grounded in the new.

My new, super-ultra-connected-to-her-inner-magic-self needs:

  • better storage and more organisation for sewing because she is sewing a TON of adorable dresses
  • for the miracle pod to take up more space and have more cushions because she is going to spend more time there
  • more small drawers for storing art supplies so it’s easier to make art every day without the creative mess starting to take over
  • a big open space for that giant paper mache project
  • clear space between desk and bookshelf because that feels open and expansive
  • stone lanterns upstairs by the huge window because they feel magical
  • a new morning meditation ritual that helps me feel more sparkly inside and out

My heart feels like it’s smiling, settling into this new space.

Things change when YOU change.

If you have a dream that is not your reality – you want things to change.? You can’t make things change by trying to force them to be different.? You can create space for things to change by creating change within yourself.

You can grow into the you-who-lives-your-dream.? You can learn so much about how this version of you is different from the you you are today, and how to move towards more of what you want.? You can heal the parts of you who are afraid, unsure or believing false stories about what is possible for you.

This way you grow gracefully into your dream, instead of striving and sacrificing and working your ass off.

This is exactly what all of my classes help you do – in different ways, because inner transformation is a big job so it’s good to have a lot of tools!


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People Are Going To Think This Sucks

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People Are Going To Think This Sucks

Let’s call him PAGTTTS.

He’s sitting across the table from me, in his fancy expansive suit and crisp white papers, which he is tapping on the table, to get the stack perfectly stacked.

I think you’ll be interested in what these here papers have to say.

I kind of doubt that.

You can’t ignore what people think.? This is important.

The stack of papers is growing as you’re speaking.? Don’t you think they’ll keep growing as I am reading them? How could I ever keep up?

Keeping up isn’t the point.? Being informed is the point.? You always have to be as informed as you possibly can be and you’re not getting any closer just sitting there ignoring the growing stack.

No, being informed can’t be the point.? WHY do you want me to be informed?

What are you, a moron?? I want you to be informed so that you know what people want, so that you do what they want, so that they are happy with everything you do.

*cue Mission Impossible theme.

You see that that’s not possible, right?

PAGTTTS puts the stack down and puts both hands down onto the table and leans forward in a menacing way.? He means it to be menacing but that stack of papers is growing so fast I can’t even see him.

Look, can’t you see that you’re drowning in other people’s opinions and that the problem is only getting worse?

The problem is only getting worse because you are ignoring the papers.

OK, Stop.

I get up and take the stack of papers and put them into their own special house, which can grow along with the stack if need be.

PAGTTTS shrinks.? I bring him a booster seat.

Look, I want us to work this out.? But I can’t talk to you through the stack of paper.

It’s not just a stack of paper, it’s other people’s opinions and they matter.

The stack is out of control.? Look at the house I put it in just a few seconds ago.? It’s 57 stories tall already.? You can put on all the power suits in the world you’re still not going to be powerful enough to handle the stack.? It’s not handle-able.

That’s my job.? Don’t tell me not to do my job.

Your job is to make sure I know what everyone else wants, always, so I can do what everyone else wants, always, so everyone else is happy with me and my work, always.? Is that right?

Don’t you see how much easier your life would be if you were working with me on this?? Everyone would be happy with you, always!

Everyone, except me.

What?? PAGTTTS had started getting bigger but now he shrunk right back down to toddler size.

If I’m just doing what other people want me to be doing then I might as well be a robot.?? That is a BETRAYAL of my creativity and my purpose.? When I make “making other people happy” more important than “doing what is true for me” I don’t do what is true for me and dilute my power and my purpose.

I’m holding up 2 computer chips: one is Making Other People Happy and the other is Doing What Is True For Me.? Only one can fit in the computer.

Other people’s opinions are other people’s business – not mine.? They get between me and my creativity and purpose and make progress impossible.

There is silence for a few minutes.

Listen mister I don’t want to offend you but I can not and will not waste my precious life keeping tabs on what everyone else wants me to do.? I’m putting my foot down.

And just like that, PAGTTTS transforms into Glinda the Good Witch.

That’s a pretty costume, but I think you’re just trying to fool me into doing what you want by making me think you’re on my side.

I am on your side!? But PAGTTTS is having a hard time keeping his costume on and now Glinda is wearing a power suit and looking very uncomfortable.

Don’t you see what happens when I try to make everyone happy?? It’s crazy-making.

Also, have you not heard of sovereignty?

Oh! Of course, that’s it.? Approval-seeking keeps everyone out of their thrones.

I place a crown on PAGTTTS’s head.

PAGTTTS is now a very happy baby, in a purple velvet throne wearing a ridiculously jeweled crown.

I turn around and look into the mirror behind me.? Sure enough, my crown is intact.? And I’m ready to get back to work, creating work that some people will surely misunderstood and others will surely dislike but it’s not my job to pay attention to any of that.

I look at what I’ve done so far on my project and decide to shelve the whole thing and start over.? Turn out PAGTTTS was whispering in my ear and throwing me off track the whole time.? I’m ready now, to do this my way.

My tiny fairy tales are my notes from visiting the Un-Sticking Station inside the Creative Dream Circle which un-sticks stucks like: procrastination, perfectionism, fear, lack of clarity, not knowing what to do and not believing in yourself enough to make your dream real. I created the Un-Sticking Station because I get stuck every day and no not want to STAY stuck, ever.


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Oh, hello procrastination.

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I'm procrastinating because I'm scared

I just spent most of this afternoon thinking it was kinda weird that I was not doing the thing I wanted to do this afternoon.?? But whenever I sat down to do it, I would feel kind of, I don’t know – fuzzy or something.? And then I would end up doing something else.

I even took a really glorious nap.? (My bedroom loft has a floor to ceiling, wall to wall south window.? It’s ridiculously sunny which makes naps feel glorious to me.)

And I just made myself an iced coffee thinking… well maybe I’m just tired, maybe I’ve been cycling more than usual.? Maybe an iced coffee is all I need.

Then I did some art journaling.

And, like it does, my journal brought me right smack into the truth.

I’m not tired or fuzzy or anything else.? I’m procrastinating because I’m scared.

And I’ve been dancing around this fear because, well, I shouldn’t have it.? It’s not logical so I should be able to just ignore it, right?

Deep breath.? One Million Reminders that all feelings are valid and important.

OK then fear, pull up a chair, let’s talk.

Oh, wait, you’re not fear – who are you?

As if you didn’t know.? I’m your embarrassment.? You’re embarrassed about what you’re afraid of.

Embarrassment is wearing suspenders and a bow tie and he keeps popping in and out of invisibility, like it can tell I don’t want it to be here even though it dressed up for me.? Embarrassment tries so hard, it’s hard not to love him.? I give him a hug and he disappears.

OK, fear, it’s just you and me now.? Can we do this?

I don’t want you to make me do the thing like it’s no big deal. It IS a big deal.

You’re right.

Just because you’ve done it a million times before does NOT mean it’s not scary!

You’re right.

I need to go slower.? And be more deliberate.? And let this take up more space.? You want me to just *pouf* do it like it’s no big thing and it IS, IT IS A BIG THING.

Fear is a talking balloon head who gets bigger the more upset he is.? He’s taking up the whole dream loft right now (and I do have 20′ ceilings).

Yes, this is HUGE, I hear you.? I’m sorry, I didn’t want it to be big because, well, it would be easier if it was small.

That’s stupid.? You can’t just pretend it’s something it’s not.? It’s a BIG AND SCARY THING you are doing.? It’s not small, easy or fast.? Not physically or emotionally or in any allys.

I like what you said about letting this take up more space and going slower and more deliberately.? What if, every day between now and then, I spend lots of time just being with the thing?? I can write about it or work on it or journal about it or take a bike ride with it.

Yes- ACCLIMATE TO IT.

Fear, you are very wise.? I’m sorry I didn’t listen sooner.? Let’s go make a list in my art journal of all the reasons why this thing is HELLA SCARY.

Fear deflates down to the size of my hand, and his face is mostly a big smile now.

Hey, all I needed was for you to recognize the big scariness of this and to treat it accordingly.? You were treating it too lightly.? As long as you take it more seriously – you’ve got this.? It’s a big scary thing but you are a giant creative genius and you HAVE done this a million times before and you WILL do amazing at it.

Suddenly I notice that we are inside this cast iron fence which goes in a tiny circle around me, with the thing-I-am-afraid/embarrassed-to-be-afraid-of outside of the fence.? The fence is this really fantastical thing with pointy pointy tops and iron swirls between the posts and there is no way anything can get through it.

Then the fence disappears.

That was your procrastination.? So weird you couldn’t see it for what it was, until it was gone.

I notice fear isn’t really fear anymore, and he’s wearing a tiny badge on his tiny balloon body.? I lean in closer to see what it says….

Creative Guide & Fabulousness Mentor

Fear /CGFM is grinning from … well he doesn’t have ears but his whole balloon body is one giant grin.? He likes his new job.

My procrastination is gone.? My embarrassment is gone.? My fear is gone.? I’ve got a totally new approach for doing the thing.? I’m grinning from ear to ear.


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The Well. Or how fairy tales help me get my work done.

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Scene: a girl and an ancient stone well, in a clearing, in a forest.

The Well. Or how fairy tales help me get my work done.

She went to the well looking for an answer. She only meant to dip the little bucket in and pull up what she needed, but the well quickly pulled her right in, all the way down to the bottom. Which, she was surprised to learn, wasn?t wet.

At the bottom of the well, sitting on soft, dry land, it was almost like the light was sparkling, but she thought it was just her eyes, adjusting to the low light.

Sure enough though, the bottom of the well seemed to be home to a sprinkle of fireflies.

Illumination. Magic. Isn?t this what you came here for?

Well, yes, I wanted just a scoop though.

Just a scoop? There is no scoop. You?re in the well or you?re outside of the well.

She noticed that she actually felt different, now that she was inside the well and wondered if the voice, which she assumed was the voice of the fireflies, was maybe right.

What you wanted was a scoop of magic which you could bring back to your people. And then, presumably, each one would scoop out a thimbleful of magic for themselves. What good is that?

Well when you say it that way it sounds ridiculous. I wanted to show them the scoop of magic so they could learn more about it and how to create more – how to create their own magic.

You don?t create magic. You are magic. Come on, you know this.

Well, yes – that?s what I wanted them to discover in this process. That the magic is inside of them. That the tiny thimbleful that I could give them is pathetic, compared to the magnitude of magic they contain within them. I wanted them to have that visceral experience of absolute knowing that – that the magic within outshines anything anyone else can give you.

And does being here in the well of your own inner magic make you think of a better way to do this?

Yes.

And isn?t that what you were really looking for?

Yes. Sharing a tiny scoop of my magic doesn?t help them with their magic at all. I mean, what if they start to mistake MY magic as THE magic? I am NOT going to be that teacher.

The girl sits in silence.

After a few minutes, the fireflies come in closer and start to multiply, filling the energy around her with sparkles.

Illumination. Magic. That?s what you came here for.

The girl?s heart lights up like a giant firefly, and each beat of her heart sent sparkles circulating through her body.

And she knew exactly how to proceed with her class.

EPILOGUE: Forty minutes after writing this fairy tale, the girl completed the content for The Magic Journal Class. Fairy tales are potent magic.

PS: To celebrate the new Magic Journal Class I’m hosting a FREE live streaming video class where I’ll share new ways to tap into your inner magic.? Join us right here.

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Boundaries [I’m making some changes]

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activating boundaries

I’ve been having a boundary problem.

Creating and holding clear boundaries is how you create space in your life for your dreams.? Creating dream-growing boundaries is a simple case of routing resources (time, energy, creativity, money) to go towards nurturing what you want to grow.

Simple, but hard.

Give Your Dream Wings, my free e-course, is growing like crazy, which is fantastic! But as it grew, and my web traffic in general grew, I also became overwhelmed by email.

No one email is a problem on its own.? People are having a hard time watching a video and want some help.? Or they deleted one of the lessons and need me to re-send it.? Or they want the emails to go to a different address.? Or they want me to know how much their dream is growing and how their life is changing because of it.

Of course I want people to be able to access the course!?? And I don’t want to ignore these emails.? But even quick responses take up time and energy.? And having so many of these emails land in my inbox takes up enough energetic bandwidth that it’s leaving me with less than I need for other things.

I’ve been very overwhelmed by this, actually.

It’s been enough to make me not WANT my business to grow any more because I’ve got my hands full taking care of the people who are already here.

When I am in a state of overwhelm, I’m not making the best decisions.? It was when I started thinking about hiring someone to help me with the emails that it finally dawned on me: providing customer service to people who are not actually customers is simply not sustainable.

See, deep down inside I had this inner “good girl” who wants to do what people expect of her.? And suddenly so many people expected me to respond to their emails that she got triggered and kind of took over.

So, first, of all – I had to take back my energy from the situation.? Being overwhelmed by the volume of email put me in a dis-empowered space.? When I re-claim my power and put my inner “good girl” back on permanent vacation, I can see everything more clearly and be in touch with the heart of what is happening, which is: I want to help.

I want to provide my customers with my best work, plus helpful customer service.? This is important to me.? This is what my business is here to do.

I want to provide my audience with helpful resources, including ways to access the answers to their questions (ways that do not include me emailing them individually).? Plus a warm invitation to come and play with me.

So, I’m switching to a new customer service email system and creating a self-serve help center.

The Give your Dream Wings Help Center has everything categorized so it’s easy to find exactly the help you need. So anyone who runs into a problem with Give Your Dream Wings can get a solution right there.

The Creative Dream Circle, gets a Help Center too. Of course Circle members do get customer service, but the Help Center means they can look up immediate answers to the most common questions, instead of waiting for me to answer their email.

What is REALLY beautiful about this is that the customer service software can grow as the Creative Dream Circle grows, so it stays easy & doable for me to offer quality customer service for my beloved customers.

Ahhhhhhhh.

The day I set this all up I could actually FEEL how I increased my internal capacity for serving more dreamers.

With my email under control, it means I can be more present for my Creative Dream Circle and clients.? And that is the whole point of my business!? To support the people who choose to let me support them in bringing their magic to the world.? It feels amazing to actually feel my capacity to do this work increase.

This is the bumpy road of bringing a dream to life!? It often does take being overwhelmed or frustrated or resentful or angry about how things are going, in order for you to see how you’d like to set things up differently.? As Joseph Campbell said “Where you stumble, that’s where your treasure lies.”

Creating a boundary is easier than holding a boundary.

And the outer work (like in this case, setting up the self-serve help center and the new customer service email software) is a LOT easier than the inner work.

You’ve got to be able to hold your power in order to hold your boundary.? This gets easier over time as you acclimate to owning more and more of your power.

But especially in the beginning it can be really hard.? And other people will generally not respect your boundary just because you told them about it.? Not because they want to be jerks, but if you’ve always done ____ then suddenly you decide to not do ____ anymore but they’re still used to you doing _____ so they’re going to expect you to keep doing it.

They’re in that pattern with you and they may not want to change it.

So you really do have to be willing to hold the boundary all on your own, even if no one respects it.? Otherwise, what’s the point?

If I do all this work to set up new systems, but keep responding individually to every email I get because my inner “good girl” doesn’t want to upset anyone’s expectations… how does that work?? Now, besides still being overwhelmed my email I’m also out the time and money of setting up new systems that I’m not using.

I can’t expect people to just stop emailing me, can I?? It’s 100% up to ME to do something different if I want this to change.

That’s how it is with ALL boundaries.? You can’t expect other people to change just because YOU want something to be different.

For many years, boundaries were super hard for me.? I was working really hard at it, and setting boundaries… but wasn’t owning my power enough to hold them.

It was SO HARD for me to set a boundary, I couldn’t bear the work of actually holding it.? So I’d set it, the other person would bulldoze through it, and I’d collapse the boundary and they’d go on doing what they’d always done.

What I find makes it easier is if you go into the process of setting the boundary fully aware of your responsibility to HOLD the boundary, this way you tend to set up boundaries with maintenance-systems in place.

If you’re a Creative Dream Circle member and you want to learn more about boundaries, check out my video on Sovereignty, in the Advanced Creative Badassery Resource Library – it’s 57 minutes (!) of me talking about this in more detail, and answering people’s questions about how this works in the real world.

Plus, I changed my email address.? I was still using the email from my old abccreatvity.com domain, but as of today I’m using hello [AT] creativedreamincubator.com


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Without my creative dreams, I shrivel up.

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WITHOUT MY CREATIVE DREAMS I SHRIVEL UP: A STORY ABOUT WHY I DO WHAT I DO AND HOW THIS CAN SAVE THE WHOLE WORLD.

Growing a business is hard and sometimes in that hardness I lose sight of why I’m even doing this.

I teach open-hearted, creative people how to live a RIDICULOUSLY inspired life, filled to the brim with dreams come true.

I teach what I teach because this stuff makes me happy.

This stuff makes me deliciously and consistently and reliably happy.? Which is kind of a miracle.

And the times in my life when I did NOT have this stuff have been pretty bleak.

I didn’t set out to become accredited as a spiritual teacher because I wanted to teach.? I was taking those classes it because I needed them for me.

I needed healing.

Even though I wouldn’t have used these words at that time: I desperately needed to find a way to live in tune with my own creative soul.

First, art and design helped (I have a degree in fashion design, half of a degree in interior design and a decade working as a textile artist) but were not enough on its own.

Then, spirituality helped (I am an accredited spiritual teacher/counselor and energy healer and spent years leading healing & meditation groups and classes) but was not enough on its own.

It’s only when I bring it all together and stay engaged in my creative AND spiritual practice that I am truly, like right down to the core, happy.

Without my creative dreams, I shrivel up.

I need this stuff.? This stuff changed my life.? I teach it so I can share it so it can change more lives.

I built this whole world full of tools that help you activate the magic because I know what it’s like to live without the magic.? I know I never want to go back to that place and I don’t want you to live there either.

Once I learned how to create a life that is in tune with my creative soul it was like… whoa.? No wonder I wasn’t ever really happy before.

I need my creative dreams, in order to live my real life.

If you’re reading this, I suspect the same is true for you.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where the odds are stacked against dreams and there aren’t a lot of places you can go to get help with this.

That’s why I built the Creative Dream Circle – to help stack the odds in your favour.

And because my biggest dream is to live in a world where everyone has the option to live with their dreams.

I know we’re a long ways off from this.

I know this is a huge huge tremendously huge job and I am only one person but I’m doing what I can with what I’ve got to move towards this.

Just imagine what happens when everyone lives in tune with their hearts, when everyone believes in their creative purpose, when everyone on this planet feels safe enough to dream.

That’s why I do this.

Do you know that I do energy healing for the Creative Dream Circle and all of its members?

I do this often. Dreaming is about healing, and transformation and moving towards your inherent wholeness.? It’s a big job and it’s never really done.

I have so much love for the people I play with in the Circle.

I check in every day.? I send love and energetic healing attunements.? I offer support and encouragement and ideas.

Love for the dreamers and their dreams fuels my work.

That photo above is a chakra energy healing I was doing for the entire Circle, earlier this week.? The day after I did that members started reporting tiny miracles happening in their lives.

This stuff works.

I can’t make any promises about timing, like how fast you can have your wildest dream come true, but I can promise to make it easier and more fun to stay in the process of getting there.? I can show you how to make the ride smoother.? I can help you rev up your power source.


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Wheeeeee!

By / / ,

The Creative with Money e-course starts today.? (There is no end date, since this is an adventure of healing & possibility – everyone is going to work through it in the timing that works for them.)

I know exploring money can feel scary/boring/superficial/sad and it’s natural to want to not look at it.

But not looking at it is not helping you.? You know that.

And healing money stucks is absolutely liberating!? Healing money stucks fertilizes your dreams and makes them grow like crazy.

The Creative with Money class is happening inside the Creative Dream Circle.? So when you sign up – you get a whole year of follow-up support.? With the tools and resources you’ll get in the Circle, one year from today you could be living inside a miracle, which is how I feel about my life right now and let me tell you – it’s the best thing ever.

The Creative Dream Circle is positively oozing with warmth and love and healing and possibility and support and creativity.? All the things that make exploring money easier and more interesting and more fun.

I hope you’ll join us today.

 


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When Inner Critics Attack

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when inner critics attack

Yesterday I shared my Valentine’s gift with the world: the You Are Loved guided journal & mandala colouring book.? Happily, this has gone over so well, my web server has crashed repeatedly.

I know I create and share (and sell!) things all the time.

That doesn’t mean it’s easy for me.

It’s actually NOT easy for me to put my stuff (and myself!) out there.? For me to do this work for a living requires daily discipline for meeting with and transforming my inner critics.

My inner critics had a FIELD DAY with the self-love journal/colouring book project.

They hated almost everything about it and they were ridiculously mean in their reasons why this was a stupid thing for me to do.

It took A LOT of work for me to calm down.

I sent them love.? I listened to their complaints.? I negotiated.? I got all tense and afraid.? I did energy work and journaling.? I used the Un-Sticking Station in the Creative Dream Circle to transform them into helpful allies.

I spent a lot of time and energy giving them the time and attention and love they needed, so they could feel safe enough to settle down.

This work is a regular part of what I do when I launch new creative projects out into the world.

I wanted to make sure to share this part of the story because too often we focus on the shiny happy endings and dreams come true.? You may see that I put a lot of stuff out into the world and assume that this is all shiny happy fun for me.

This leaves you with this sense that “things just work” for other people and that if your dream doesn’t just magically come true on its own – that means you can’t have your dream.

This is EXACTLY what your inner critic wants you to think.? This kind of thinking stops dreams in their tracks.

Also – part of what makes inner critics so powerful is that we do tend to keep them hidden. They shrink in the light.

So I like to keep mine well-lit by sharing the truth about them.

Your inner critics freaking out is not a sign to stop.

Inner critics freak out.? That’s their job.? Your job is to go after your dreams anyway.

I know it’s hard.

And if you’re dealing with this I am sending you so much love…

But I’m also sending a firm reminder that you can’t STOP just because your inner critics freak out.

You have to take charge.? Do not wait for your inner critics to magically change on their own.

Unless, of course, you WANT to be miserable.

Your inner critics are scared wounded inner children who need love and healing.? They’ll freak out at the most awkward times.

They still deserve love because they are a part of you.

It’s like your dreams – all the things you want to do doing, the way you want to be living, the you you really want to be – live in the most amazing castle ever.

The inner critics are the sharks that live in the moat around the castle.? Their whole mission is to keep you from entering the castle.

Their mission is not fueled by anger or malice or anything – they’re just afraid of the changes that will happen once you enter the castle.? They simply don’t understand that you have the courage, integrity and wisdom to handle the changes.

So what are you going to do?

There are only two choices:

  1. Run away and live forever in the Land Where No Dreams Come True
  2. Figure out how to put the drawbridge down

Some people like to pretend that there is another choice, that you can somehow wait them out, and maybe tomorrow the inner critics will quiet down so they can have their creative play time.

These people are just in denial about living in the Land Where No Dreams Come True.

Yes, finding that drawbridge and putting it down really is hard work and it’s scary and doing it over and over again is a total pain in the ass.

But letting those sharks win is just stupid.? Your dreams are too important.

And the treasures that live in the castle are a gazillion times better than you think they are.

Sometimes my inner critics just freak out because they’re freaking out.

Sometimes they freak out because I am onto something that could change everything.

That was what was happening on Monday.

Now that I have made one small guided journal/colouring book, and now that I see that people really love it, I see this whole new path opening up:

BIG, DEEP, CRAZY MAGIC guided journals and colouring books.? A HUGE LIBRARY FULL OF THEM.

Once I get into the swing of creating these, I believe I can be doing one every month.? They’ll be available for sale on my website – and free for my darling Creative Dream Circle members.

Plus we’ll do live streaming video playdates to journal with them together!

The thought of this makes me want to dance and spray glitter all over everything.

Riding out the Inner Critic Freak-out on Monday, and taking the time to use the tools that work to transform the inner critics, means I get to this place: having a new idea, being inspired and excited and seeing that the path is clear ahead of me.

It means I can dive in to a new dream.? Totally worth doing the work of dealing with the inner critics!

If you’re a Creative Dream Circle member – you can use the tools in the Un-Sticking Station to deal with ANY inner critic attack.? It will lead you through the whole process of transforming your inner critic lovingly and effectively.

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