In January I started a year-long adventure in personal growth and conscious life design: Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance (GYDNYB).
The point of GYDNYB is to do exactly what it says: grow your depth and nurture your brilliance.? To shine the light of your gifts out into the world in whatever way you want to do that.
In GYDNYB we do this by taking all the things I teach and USING them and DOING them… EVERY DAY.? To go deeper into your practice than you have gone before and see what happens then.
So here I am at the halfway point of this adventure. At the starting point, I had specific, clear intentions for what I wanted to create in my life through GYDNYB.
And now I have those things.? All of them.?
(Even the secret dream I had that I was sure was actually impossible.? Turns out it WAS possible and having it in my life is better than I’d hoped it would be.)
And so I don’t know what’s next and I’m feeling lost.
Which is not a way I like to feel.
Which, through some convoluted journaling, led me to discover what my real problem is: I’ve been avoiding dreaming new dreams.
Dreaming is terrifying. For everyone.
I can’t even count how many emails land in my inbox about this.
I feel like I’ve written a million blog posts that say don’t wait until you’re not feeling afraid because that will never happen.? That learning how to transform the fear is the secret to moving forward.
That you actually build the path to your dreams out of your fears and doubts and inner critic voices.
I know this, I know this so well and yet I forget all the time.
And so I walk around feeling lost until I remember.
My journal practice helps me remember sooner.
Because I can’t keep writing the same bullshit out day after day without my memory being jogged.
I feel lost.? I don’t know what I want.? I’m tired.? There’s too much happening.? I need more space.? I feel lost.
It’s just hard to lie to yourself repeatedly in writing.
Of course I know what I want.? Of course I know where I am.? Of course I’m not tired and the only thing I actually NEED in this moment is to pull my head out of my ass.
The truth is, I FEEL lost when I’m avoiding my dreams.
But I’m never actually lost because my dream is a lighthouse – it’s how my soul calls me into alignment.? It will always lead me home.
So – hello there, new dreams.
Rather than feeling lost I can choose to celebrate the fact that all of the things I wanted to get out of Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance this year are ALREADY HERE.
I can choose to believe that hey – I must be ready for more then.
I can choose to ask myself: what do I really want?? I can give myself time and space to really explore that.
I can pick new dreams and start moving towards them.
It’s not about accomplishing more.? It’s about choosing to stay in alignment.
I am in love with the way I feel when I am in alignment with what my soul is calling me towards next (AKA my dreams).
I feel present and open and connected to this deep deep well of unspeakable joy that lives inside me.
I feel on the right path.
I feel sure.
I remember that I’m stronger than my fears, doubts and inner critics combined.
It doesn’t matter what happens – if I “make the thing happen” or not.? It’s all about being on the path, feeling this alignment, and trusting where my creativity and intuition lead.
So if you’ve been feeling lost, or unsure, or uncomfortable in any way – I hope this helps remind you of your truth.