You have to choose: perfect or possible [Dream Status Report]

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I am siting down to do my Dream Status Report for this week to check in with myself and my dreams and what I need and what my dreams need, for the coming week.

Doing this, consistently over time, IS MAGIC.... this is where your dream becomes REALITY. This is where you stop and notice: How am I showing up? Is this working for me? What else might be needed? This is where we figure things out!! There is so much we can learn by witnessing our own process.

AND... Consistency is hard for most of us these days! So - I try to do this on Sundays, and write about it here, to remind you to also take a few minutes to check in with yourself and your dreams.

I TRIED to do this on Sunday, here it is Tuesday morning and I am just getting started.

I am sick! But even if I wasn't, and even some weeks when I'm not sick, it can take until Wednesday or Thursday even to do this.

It's fantastic when I DO do it on Sunday and start the week feeling like I know how to hold onto my dream. I love when that happens!

But if I ONLY do it when I can do it PERFECTLY... then I won't do it that often then it's easy to just... stop doing it.

Giving yourself permission to do it messy and imperfect means giving yourself permission to REALLY ACTUALLY DO IT.

Because the magic that will make your dream REAL comes from showing up consistently over time. This means you have to show up all the times when it's just kind of boring or something feels off or you're annoyed, etc.

(This does NOT mean you should keep doing a thing if it doesn't feel like the right thing for you. That's different - if a particular approach doesn't feel like a fit then find a different approach! Your feelings are guiding you AND you have to keep practicing how to interpret your feelings - resistance is lying to you but there can also be a kernel of wisdom in it. It's nuanced.)

When it comes to creative dreaming, if you only really SHOW UP for your dreams when you feel 100% - that will never work. You have to learn how to HOLD your dream in the chaos of your life.

Which means that usually you show up imperfectly more often than perfectly.

All of that "waiting until you can do it RIGHT" is just delaying your dreams.

Diving into the MESS is where the magic is.

This morning, as I do a very imperfect and messy at answering all of the prompts in the Dream Status Report,  I realised... holy shit. I have been on a  real Hero's Journey this whole year. So many health problems, so many complications, so much time waiting to see specialists.

By HOLDING ONTO MY DREAMS ANYWAY while the conditions in my life have felt totally wrong for dreaming... I have learned whole new ways to root my dreams!

Root my dreams? I've never thought of it in that way, but that's how it feels. My dreams are seeds, and they can be hard to root into certain terrains, so they can be hard to grow. But this year I learned new ways to root them! The ground beneath can be unstable AF and I can grow stable roots.

I am not where I'd hoped to be at this point of the year, if you're just looking at the outer work part....

AND I am astonished at how strong these roots are.

AND I am astonished at what feels possible right now.

Answering these prompts on Tuesday instead of Sunday still brought me what I needed. A total re-frame of where I am and how I got here. Which is also a new perspective on what to do next!

Creative Dreaming in THIS WORLD is MESSY AF.

We never dream in a vacuum. We always dream into the world we live in.

The idea that some time there will be an "ideal time" to focus on your dreams is just not true. We have to learn how to root them into this world, as it is, and as everything keeps getting more fucked up.

If you're in the membership, and you're struggling with this - please let me know! Hit reply to this email or post in the forum. Let's figure out the simplest way you can HOLD SPACE for yourself in the process of holding space for your dream.

Once you are showing up consistently the alchemy starts to work, but what it looks like to "show up consistently" might look really different right now than it has when the world was less on fire all around.

There ARE ways to hold onto our dreams in the mess.

We may have to experiment a bit to find them. I am really happy to explore this with you especially as this is what I am working on for the new program: Your Creative Dreamer. It will start Dec 21. So as I am working on it, it's helpful for me to dive into how things are working for you.

 

Dreaming WEIRDER 1 hour alchemy meditation + journaling healing circle was last week - Get the call details here.

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The thing I’m so grateful for about the divorce I didn’t ask for and how grieving is a part of dreaming [Dream Status Report]

By / / ,

I am siting down to do my Dream Status Report for this week to check in with myself and my dreams and what I need and what my dreams need, for the coming week.

Doing this, consistently over time, IS MAGIC.... this is where your dream becomes REALITY. This is where you stop and notice: How am I showing up? Is this working for me? What else might be needed? This is where we figure things out!! There is so much we can learn by witnessing our own process.

AND... Consistency is hard for most of us these days! So - I try to do this on Sundays, and write about it here, to remind you to also take a few minutes to check in with yourself and your dreams.

I'm really sick this weekend.

I went to the doctor this morning and have some prescriptions so this should turn around in a few days.

But I don't feel capable to do my Dream Status Report. I looked through some things I've written and found this I wrote and then wasn't sure when to share, about my favourite part of getting divorced (even though I didn't choose the divorce or even see it coming).

Which is about grief which is such a big part of living, and dreaming, right now.

And then I was thinking about me being so sick is kind of the same. I didn't choose or invite this. But here I am. So - do I want to BE WITH my life as it happens or do I want to pick and choose when I'll accept and engage with life? Which did give me some different ideas for things to do while really sick - besides watching shows and just waiting to feel better.

So here is that post:

My favourite thing that happened because of my divorce is that I totally changed how I speak to myself.

I SO OFTEN say to myself “You’re doing great girl you got this!” and “I am so freaking proud of you” and stuff like that. Like, SO OFTEN. I give myself so much love, support and encouragement all day long and I just love it.

In the wake of the divorce, I learned to partner myself in a new way.

I learned to treat myself the way I wanted to be treated, even though I thought I WAS doing that already, but in the horribleness of all the stuff that comes up in a divorce, and in the harrowing and brave work of metabolizing all of that, I saw all the places where I sacrificed myself more clearly. And I no longer tolerate that kind of behaviour from myself. It just lands different.

This is the magic of grief.

Grief is a portal and a doorway and an invitation to a kind of healing and growth that we almost never feel ready for.

Our culture teaches us to hold back our grief, to contain it and control it and get over it ASAP.

Indigenous cultures who know how to live in tune with life respect and honour grief and let it take up the space it needs. This is how we should be living.

When my ex-husband blind sighted me with the news I had a lot of feelings at once, but I remember my dominant thought was “I don’t want this to change me.”

I felt like the grief and shock and sadness and anger was so big, it was going to swallow me whole and there was no way I could come out of that the same person and I was afraid of who I would become. I didn't choose this and didn't want to step into it.

It took a while before I felt ready to trust the grieving process. But once I did. WHOA.

Giving myself over to the grieving process actually helped me receive all the things I had wanted from that marriage, in the divorce. it's WILD.

Why am I talking about divorce and how does this relate to our dreams?

Marriage is a dream. And some dreams die. And to the extent that you can allow the grieving process - they become compost for the next thing.

We don’t see a lot of that in our culture, and that’s a part of where I think my “I don’t want this to change me” thought came from. A lot of people become bitter after a divorce. When I thought “I don’t want this to change me” that’s what I was thinking of, I didn’t want to disparage a person I had once valued enough to marry. I didn’t want to become cynical. And mostly, I didn’t want to let go of the dream of what I thought I had.

But that was three years ago. These days I am amazed by everything that I let go of and how little of it had anything to do with that relationship.

I have this whole new relationship with myself that I absolutely wouldn’t have had without the divorce.

I have this whole new LIFE that I wouldn’t have had without the divorce. It doesn’t look that different from the outside but it FEELS so different to me. I have new dreams. I am settling into my post-menopausal self and so grateful for the freedom I have. I didn’t feel encumbered in my marriage, but it is PALPABLE, how much freer I feel now.

With aging parents, I know I have more Big Griefs ahead of me.

And we talk about climate grief on our calls, we’re all feeling that. There are a lot of different griefs about all the ways the world has changed.

Grieving does feel like a part of living through these times.

And we can try to stay away from the pain of it or we can dive in and trust it to change us in ways that we will appreciate in the end.

I appreciate finding, re-reading, and finally sharing this post today. It's giving me a better perspective on being sick right now.

Where are you this week? What's happening with your dreams? I'd love to hear your updates in the forum.

And please reach out when you're not sure what to do with your dreams. I want to help!

Dreaming WEIRDER 1 hour alchemy meditation + journaling healing circle was last week - Get the call details here.

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If you have tried “all the right things” and failed anyway, the answer is to GET WEIRDER

By / / ,

You may have tried to “do all the right things” and failed anyway with your dreams. 

This doesn’t mean your dreams aren't viable!!!!!

It means you need to listen to YOURSELF more deeply.

AND… LET IT GET WEIRD!

Permission to "be weird" can help to break the spell of conformity.

Because “I have to find the RIGHT WAY to do this” stops you from finding YOUR WAY.

Because the path to your dream isn't something that exists out there. It's something only you can build, and you can only do that when you're being true to yourself.

What if you went all in, pursuing your weirdest dreams in the weirdest way possible?

What comes to mind there?

How does it feel?

Your weirdest dreams have so much to teach you.

The places where you are weird are just the places where you don't conform to who the world thinks you should be. In such a messed up world - THIS IS GOOD!!!!

When you can make more space for that weirdness, you can learn more about your self, find more of your inner gifts and medicine, and be more powerful in your life.

Dreaming WEIRDER is a 1 hour alchemy meditation + journaling healing circle for exploring all of this. It's happening Oct 1 in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership...TODAY!

Members: Get the call details here.

Or find out more about the membership here. (You can join for just 1 month to do the WEIRD healing circle with us!)

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I should have listened

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In a meditation on one of our Co-Dreaming calls recently, I asked the soul of my dream about an invitation that had come to me and my dream showed me a closed door, with a strong “push it away” energy.

And yet I thought… well is that a clear “no” or is it just my resistance?

Which is maybe/sometimes a good question to ask.

The question I didn’t ask is “Why don’t I trust my inner wisdom?” Because I have a convoluted relationship with the kind of invitation this was and I didn’t want my unresolved feelings to get in the way of something that could be good for me.

Which is fair enough. Self awareness needs to include awareness of your own bullshit and self-sabotaging mechanisms, not necessarily to get rid of them but to understand yourself and your needs. What is going on in you, that you want to close the door to the things you actually do want? What is going on in you, that you don’t always know what you want? And what do these parts of you need? This is a part of the work of creative dreaming and the easy answer is rarely the helpful answer.

So I decided to proceed with this invitation, despite the soul of my dream offering me a closed door.

One week later, I wish I’d listened.

This invitation was about collaborating to create something that would help people. Something I would enjoy doing!

They were asking me to do a workshop for a part of an online summit... but the further we got in the process the more it was actually all about the numbers. They didn't seem to care about the quality of what I could bring to the summit (but to be fair, maybe that part would have come later?) they were focused on how many people are on my email list who will sign up for their email list in order to participate in the summit.

Which isn't something I do - I am not going to encourage you to sign up for someone else's email list when I don't know them and have no idea about their integrity or values or how they do business.

The part that really confused me is that as they were talking numbers, is that they were talking HUGE numbers.

And I was like "Why do you STILL NEED MORE if you have such huge numbers already?"

And I don't know about this particular person but this is the spell of capitalism and consumerism that most people are under! MORE is the only direction to go in.

So was it WEIRD of me to not want to move forward with an opportunity to put my work in front of LOADS of new people?

Yes… that's what most people would say.

And don’t I still need to survive in late stage capitalism, with it’s fascism and inflation making that harder by the day? Yes.

Don't I need for my work to make money? YES.

But do I need to betray my values to do it?

Fuck no.

And if that makes me weird, then good.

Last year I added a Late Stage Capitalism update to my Creative With Money program in the Creative Dream Incubator membership. One of the things we look at in there is… WHAT IS ENOUGH?

Capitalism has this MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE spell of us. New age spirituality is deeply hooked into it too with ideas of “infinite abundance”. All of our wellness and wellbeing and healing industries exist INSIDE capitalism’s spell and reinforce it’s ideologies. 

(Not every person working in these fields, but the fields in general)

And so all of these things that are supposed to help heal us are just helping us cope with being cogs in the capitalist machine and/or helping us try to get as high as we can in capitalism’s pyramid schemes.

The real abundance is HAVING ENOUGH.

Which means knowing what that is for you! It's not always MORE.

The real abundance is having your WEIRDEST dreams, not necessarily your biggest dreams.

The real abundance is feeling safe to be your full authentic self, even the weird parts.

The real abundance is DEEPLY WILDLY TRUSTING YOURSELF to handle what comes and take care of yourself without betraying yourself.

Your weirdest dreams have so much to teach you.

The places where you are weird are just the places where you don't conform to who the world thinks you should be. In such a messed up world - THIS IS GOOD!!!!

When we can make more space for that weirdness, we can learn more about our selves, find more of our inner gifts and medicine, and be more powerful in our lives.

Dreaming WEIRDER is a 1 hour alchemy meditation + journaling healing circle for exploring all of this. It's happening Oct 1 in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

Members: Get the call details here.

Or find out more about the membership here. (You can join for just 1 month to do the WEIRD healing circle with us!)

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Which parts do you want to avoid? [Dream Status Report]

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I am siting down to do my Dream Status Report for this week to check in with myself and my dreams and what I need and what my dreams need, for the coming week.

Doing this, consistently over time, IS MAGIC.... this is where your dream becomes REALITY. This is where you stop and notice: How am I showing up? Is this working for me? What else might be needed? This is where we figure things out!! There is so much we can learn by witnessing our own process.

AND... Consistency is hard for most of us these days! So - I try to do this on Sundays, and write about it here, to remind you to also take a few minutes to check in with yourself and your dreams.

I keep thinking about a conversation from Friday's Co-Dreaming call.

About NOT WANTING TO DO THE WORK.

Wanting the dream to just land in your lap.

Wanting to avoid the parts you don't want to do.

Which we all feel sometimes!

Yesterday I had a beautiful Saturday. I cancelled plans I had because it was raining all day. I stayed home and did some sewing but I also did some de-cluttering and deep cleaning and re-organizing. The whole time I was thinking of how great it will be to have this done. To go into the fall with this one closet less chaotic and a give away some things I have been wanting to give away.

I felt so grateful to  have a day where I had enough energy and was in the kind of mood where I could enjoy just digging in and doing the work.

This is partly because I FINALLY, after several years, am on the right menopause treatment for me!!! I feel really let down by the entire medical system on this one, but I finally got there and am just so grateful to feel like myself again.

But it was mostly because I wasn't focusing on the work itself, I was focusing on the WHY.

I do this a lot in my business. I don't have an assistant. I do have help with some parts of my business but I do most of the work myself.

Some of it is tedious. I don't always feel like doing it. But I always want the RESULTS of it being done. I always want this business to be taken care of as well as I can take care of it.

That doesn't mean I force myself to get to work when I'm not feeling it!

It means I look for ways to meet ALL PARTS OF ME and tend to ALL PARTS OF THE DREAM.

This is, again, a place where I am going to ask you to LOOK DEEPER at what is going on.

There is so much you can do with the parts of the work that you don't want to do.

Yes of course you can hire them out.

But what about looking at how to help yourself feel supported in doing them?

How can you make them more fun and interesting? Like turning on music and dancing around the house while you clean.

Are you really connecting with your WHY? Can that give you some energy and motivation?

Or is there something else going on???

This is where it can get really interesting. The places where we don't want to get to work can teach us stuff about ourselves and our dreams.

Use the Un-Sticking Station process to really explore it. Maybe this part of you has wisdom you can't see on the surface. Maybe there is a whole different way to do things.

There is a TON of space between forcing ourselves to "do the thing" and being miserable while doing it, and never doing the things that would build our dreams.

Myself, I am actually avoiding doing my Dream Status Report, lol!

I woke up with a bit of a head cold and am just not feeling it, so I am going to do it this evening instead of Sunday morning which my plan/goal for these.

Which is another thing that helps us be so much more consistent about DOING THE WORK - be flexible! Look for ways to meet yourself where you are AND stay accountable to your dream.

Where are you this week? What's happening with your dreams? I'd love to hear your updates in the forum.

And please reach out when you're not sure what to do with your dreams. I want to help!

Your weirdest dreams have so much to teach you.

The places where you are weird are just the places where you don't conform to who the world thinks you should be. When we can make more space for that weirdness, we can learn more about our selves, find more of our inner gifts and medicine, and be more powerful in our lives.

Dreaming WEIRDER is a 1 hour alchemy meditation + journaling healing circle for exploring all of this. It's happening Oct 1 in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

Members: Get the call details here.

Or find out more about the membership here.

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Journal Prompts for when you feel like you have to choose between successful and being true to yourself

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We noticed on a group call recently that we can sometimes want to tone down our unique/authentic way of doing things, out of the idea that if we conform to how the world expects us to do things - this will increase our chances of SUCCESS...

And so then our authentic way of doing things feels TOO WEIRD...

And then our weirdness can feel like a barrier to success...

But how can you call it “success” if you have to hide parts of yourself?

Where are you trying to fit in?

Where do you feel safe to stand out?

What if fully being your most authentic self, even if people think it’s weird, is the most fulfilling and powerful way to live? What if it HEALS YOU?

What helps you withstand the discomfort of being your most authentic self, even when people think it’s weird?

And…. how much do you respect and want the respect of people who would judge your most authentic self as “being too weird”?

Your weirdest dreams have so much to teach you.

The places where you are weird are just the places where you don't conform to who the world thinks you should be. When we can make more space for that weirdness, we can learn more about our selves, find more of our inner gifts and medicine, and be more powerful in our lives.

Dreaming WEIRDER is a 1 hour alchemy meditation + journaling healing circle for exploring all of this. It's happening Oct 1 in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

Members: Get the call details here.

Or find out more about the membership here.

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Trying to figure out how to do the thing I want to do when every idea I have feels overwhelming

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I am trying to work on this project and I just feel overwhelmed and like I have no clue what to do.

SO I am trying to connect with the soul of this project (using the Dream Lab practice)... but that is also really hard today. I want to do this, but I can't seem to stay with it.

(That's fine! Remember that when we are creative dreaming we are healing, growing and stretching ourselves. Sometimes this will all feel too hard! That's a part of the process. If you stick to only doing things already know how to do, and already feel capable and confident about - there is no way to GROW.)

So I am going to coach myself through this. My "coach/mentor" self's words are in bold text. My responses are in italics.

When my coach/mentor self asks me something, I take time to sit with the question and be with what comes up, I don't answer right away. This "conversation" took a looooong time.

What’s in the way?

Mental overwhelm about the amount of work involved, and how unknown much of it is.

Anything else?

I have HUGE high hopes for this project and with that comes HUGE worry that it won’t “measure up”

I want to do it better than my best, I want to do this perfectly.

OK that sounds like a lot of pressure!

Is that what it is? Am I overwhelmed by the pressure I am putting on this project?

It sounds like that could be it. Can you imagine what the process of working on this project would look like WITHOUT pressure?

Wow! It feels like pressure would be the only thing moving the process along. Without it, everything feels floaty.

Can you stay with that floaty feeling? What’s going on?

There’s no structure.

Can we create structure without pressure?

Pressure wants to come in and supervise the building of the structure. And - pressure looks a lot like my inner critic.

Stay with it. Can we create structure without pressure? Can you keep your inner critic out of it?

Wow, just considering the question feels so spacious. The whole thing feels less fraught. But I still don’t know what to DO.

That’s great! More spacious and less fraught is fantastic. Stay with it. How can we create some structure for this project without adding any pressure?

I am remembering the leaf forts all the kids in my neighbourhood used to make in the fall. We would just like lay out floor plans on the grass with leaves and imagine these fantastic forts we were building. Yeah that’s what structure without pressure feels like. Play and imagination. Also it’s so easy to move a line of leaves around if you want to change the structure.

I can kind of look over at my inner critic and she’s building structure out of concrete, it looks like a highway interchange with lots of levels and rules about having to be in the right lane to get to the street you want to be on, and I am really noticing the part where you can miss your turn off and end up going in the direction you didn’t want to go in.

Oh wow. Yeah. That’s what happens when you use PRESSURE to build the STRUCTURE… then it’s like there is pressure to make “the right choice” right from the get go because you have to stick with it, whatever it is, and whatever happens along the way.

The leaf fort, by comparison, you can just move the walls around to accommodate your changing needs. It’s like why I wanted to live in a loft, I do shift things around and use the space differently as my needs change.

Of course, a strong wind won’t come along and blown down the concrete highway but it wouldn’t take much wind to absolutely decimate the leaf fort. 

That’s true but these are metaphors, so: how likely do you think it is that a strong wind will come along? And what is the strong wind? Is that something we should explore?

I sit down in this leaf fort structure in my mind. I can smell the wet leaves and remember how fun this was as a kid. No, we never cared about a strong wind or how long the “fort” would last (I mean - this was suburbia in the very early 80s, wouldn’t our parents have raked them up and put them into trash bags at some point?) It was the joy of planning and building as much as the joy of playing inside it.

So does it feel like you want the VIBE of the leaf fort as opposed to the VIBE of the concrete highway, as the way you create structure for this project?

Yeah, that feels true AND that feels so unknown, I’ve never done it this way. So much is changing for me in mid-life as I embrace “the change” more and more, and that dovetails with the work I’ve done decolonizing my worldview and my business and creative practices.

It feels like maybe you are looking too far ahead. What’s the step that you can take TODAY with this?

Oh. Yes. Thank you. I was getting ahead of myself and that is so overwhelming. What’s the step I can take TODAY? How do I engage with the process of building a structure to do this work?

Oh! I kind of already have this, I have these stacks of paper full of ideas. I can spread them out into categories. I can go through them and make a list of what each category needs. Yeah! YEAH! This is it, if I do that, then I’ll have a list of things to DO that I can choose from to work with/on this project. There are so many ideas in this haphazard stack of papers, I just need to make a list, I don’t need to PERFECTLY STRUCTURE THE WHOLE THING RIGHT NOW just create one list to work from.

So now can you connect with the soul of this project? What happens when you try?

I am sitting on the grass with the leaf fort around me. It feels playful and imaginative and fun. It’s a gorgeous fall day. The soul of the project is floating above me, it comes to me the way it has in the past. It feels like it’s beaming love down to me, as I work on it.

I cannot see all the steps ahead of me to get to where I want to be with this. But I do see the steps I can work on this week.

Win!

Your weirdest dreams have so much to teach you.

The places where you are weird are just the places where you don't conform to who the world thinks you should be. When we can make more space for that weirdness, we can learn more about our selves, find more of our inner gifts and medicine, and be more powerful in our lives.

Dreaming WEIRDER is a 1 hour alchemy meditation + journaling healing circle for exploring all of this. It's happening Oct 1 in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

Members: Get the call details here.

Or find out more about the membership here.

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I’m having a Monday, lol. How do we make this DREAMY?

By / / ,

I feel so scattered this morning.

I took my journals to a coffee shop which usually does the trick! Some fresh air and exercise to get here, then focused attention on planning, but...

Still. It's like I have so much to do and it’s not just that I don’t know how to do it, I don’t know how to get myself GOING.

I’m having a Monday, lol.

So instead of journaling up a brilliant plan, I journaled about where I was and where I wanted to be and everything that is happening… and that showed me how I need to focus on going deeper into where I am. To really explore and understand it.

And the answer I needed was several layers down.

I wrote about how I felt - like I am tiny and these project are huge.

And then… what do I mean by “huge”?

Heavy. Lots of moving parts. Complicated. Important. IMPORTANT! Meaningful. Sacred.

Then things shifted.

This work is SACRED.

I am trying to “just get to work” when I need to recognize and validate how SACRED this work is.

So  I need to clear space - literally in the space I am working in (which has stuff scattered everywhere from about 50 thousands different creative projects) but also I need to clear space inside me.

Instead of trying to figure out how to get moving in the outer work, the focus needs to be on going deeper into the dream work and connecting with the soul of the thing.

I need to DEEPEN into it instead of GET MOVING FASTER.

So instead of “getting my shit together and making a plan for the week” I am going to spend this morning deepening into the process. Communing with the souls of these two projects, and let them show me what is needed to TEND TO THEM as opposed to COMPLETE THEM ASAP.

And my bet is that this will help me complete them both faster and easier. But I KNOW that this approach will help me do better work, even if it takes longer. And our best work is the work that helps build our bigger dreams.

Your weirdest dreams have so much to teach you.

The places where you are weird are just the places where you don't conform to who the world thinks you should be. When we can make more space for that weirdness, we can learn more about our selves, find more of our inner gifts and medicine, and be more powerful in our lives.

Dreaming WEIRDER is a 1 hour alchemy meditation + journaling healing circle for exploring all of this. It's happening Oct 1 in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

Members: Get the call details here.

Or find out more about the membership here.

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Sometimes the path is easier to see in hindsight [Dream Status Report]

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I am siting down to do my Dream Status Report for this week to check in with myself and my dreams and what I need and what my dreams need, for the coming week.

Doing this, consistently over time, IS MAGIC.... this is where your dream becomes REALITY. This is where you stop and notice: How am I showing up? Is this working for me? What else might be needed? This is where we figure things out!! There is so much we can learn by witnessing our own process.

AND... Consistency is hard for most of us these days! So - I try to do this on Sundays, and write about it here, to remind you to also take a few minutes to check in with yourself and your dreams.

I am re-reading my post from last week and it's like WHOA - NOW I understand where I was then.

It's SO GOOD to do this weekly reflection and then look back on it a week later. The path becomes to much clearer this way. Not to FOCUS on looking back always but to look back enough to see the through-lines. Kind of like how people who don't learn history are bound to repeat it.

We don't always understand our process while we are in it!

I know how helpful this is AND STILL  I had a TON of resistance to doing this practice today.

So I made a little nest of pillows and got comfy in there, with my headphones on, because when I tried to do it while sitting in a chair - I kept getting distracted and doing something else.

Once I finally got myself into the meditation it was clear why I am feeling so much resistance... my dream handed me a ball of light.

It was... the ball is in your corner kind of energy.

I picked up the ball and felt the weight of all the stuff I need to do.

For all of my dreams! For all the things I want! There is just a ton of Outer Work to be done right now.

And I felt overwhelmed by it all.

So I gave myself space to FEEL how I felt.

And I validated that this A LOT OF STUFF to do.

And feeling overwhelmed about it is natural!

Feeling tired at the thought of doing all of this is natural!

And I asked... what does my overwhelmed self need?

She really needs to not think about this too much today. AND to have a plan to get organized tomorrow.

So tomorrow morning I am taking my journal out for coffee which is my favourite way to get organized.

Where are you this week? What's happening with your dreams? I'd love to hear your updates in the forum.

And please reach out when you're not sure what to do with your dreams. I want to help!

Your weirdest dreams have so much to teach you.

The places where you are weird are just the places where you don't conform to who the world thinks you should be. When we can make more space for that weirdness, we can learn more about our selves, find more of our inner gifts and medicine, and be more powerful in our lives.

Dreaming WEIRDER is a 1 hour alchemy meditation + journaling healing circle for exploring all of this. It's happening Oct 1 in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

Members: Get the call details here.

Or find out more about the membership here.

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You are so WEIRD! Let’s dig into that on the Dreaming WEIRDER Healing Circle on Oct 1

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There are not a lot of guarantees when it comes to creative dreaming, but one thing I can absolutely guarantee is that your authentic voice is going to come across as TOO WEIRD for some people.

There are a lot of reasons for this. There are a lot of layers of things happening when we "feel weird".

We don't want to be weird just for the sake of being weird.

But we want to explore the places where we pull back out of fear of being weird. And the places where we confuse our AUTHENTICITY with "being weird".

Because the places where you ARE weird are just the places where you don't conform to who the world thinks you should be.

When we can make more space for that weirdness, we can learn more about our selves, find more of our inner gifts and medicine, and be more powerful in our lives.

Your weirdest dreams have so much to teach you.

Dreaming WEIRDER is a 1 hour alchemy meditation + journaling healing circle for exploring all of this.

It's happening Oct 1 in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

Members: Get the call details here.

Find out more about the membership here.

Co-Dreaming Co-Working Call Today

Co-Dreaming/Co-Working call is today! I hope to see you there!

This is where we practice rooting deeper into creativity + soul together. We'll start with a longer (about 40 minute) meditation for connecting with the soul of your dream specifically to receive the message/healing/insight/idea that your dream wants to send you now.

This will create a lovely atmosphere for co-working, to start with the meditation and then leave the audio on or off, and do your thing within the bubble of the magic we create together in the meditation.

And we can talk about what comes up in the meditation and look at how we can really receive and act on the messages/ideas/healing/shifts we receive in the meditation.

Call details are here. Replay will be there a few hours after we're done today.

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This is the thing that’s going to save us

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I was so happy yesterday when I got an email response to my post It’s usually boring to show up consistently, then some days it’s MAGIC.

The person said that they find my sharings so helping and are so grateful that they are doing more Dream Work and experiencing the benefits of it.

I was particularly happy to get that email right in that moment because I was having a lot of doubt with this new program I am creating - Your Creative Dreamer (which starts Dec 21).

Your Creative Dreamer brings together EVERYTHING. A way to hold space for the multi-dimensional and non-linear creative and spiritual process of healing so hard you make your creative dreams real.

And this is what my self doubt says about it:

People won’t want to do ALL THE THINGS they just want you to show them exactly how to make their dream real.

And I say:

Of course that’s true of some people. Some people don’t want to heal and grow. Some people want a linear journey.

But I am here for the people who want MAGIC. And the people who want MAGIC understand that you need to show up for. You need to build the container to HOLD SPACE for it.

My self doubt is concerned that people won’t take the time to discover for themselves how incredibly powerful it is to approach your dreams in this way.

So my self doubt has been trying to get me to second guess myself about absolutely everything about what I am creating here.

And it’s been succeeding! Sometimes.

But then I decided to sit down and really explore it, like DO the Inner Work with it, and suddenly all of the power that this story held started to unravel.

When my self doubt presented the idea that “people won’t want to do all of this” it was panicking about it, and saying “so you should stop immediately and create something that people will like” because my self doubt cannot tolerate the discomfort of some people not liking my work.

I lean towards my self doubt, looking her in the eye, and say “That’s absolutely fine. Nothing is for everyone. This work is for the people who DO want it.”

I expected my self doubt to fall apart about this, but she just considered what I was saying.

I said “I think we need to look at: what is the goal here? Am I trying to create something that will be beloved by millions or am I trying to create something that will be deeply helpful to the people who vibe with me and feel the magic and want to work with me?”

As I asked the question:

“beloved by millions” feels like stretching out, watering down my work to be palatable to the “normies” (something that's been coming up a lot on our group coaching calls lately!)

“create something that will be deeply helpful” feels like deepening into my medicine to offer it in a way that really helps the people that it is for

My self doubt is exasperated. “Just once I’d like to do something that’s not so weird, that is what people expect and isn’t so convoluted to explain”

And I say “Show me ONE THING that is is what people expect and isn’t so convoluted to explain that also puts people so deeply in touch with their own magic that they can do the things that they felt they couldn’t do.”

I’ve been reading some of Carl Jung’s writing on alchemy and the healing and growth process and it’s as weird and non-linear as anything I've done.

Art and healing are not here to FIT IN with the world. They are here to create whole new possibilities!

Anything that has a real impact is going to be weird, misunderstood, and not liked by a significant number of people.

But the best part is... none of this even MATTERS!!!!

Because I am ONE PERSON who cannot work with millions of people in my membership, or even thousands, and don’t even want that kind of business that is constantly focused on growth like a capitalist cancer.

Self doubt deflates like a balloon and I am left with…

It’s just so vulnerable and awkward to create something new. To try and use your medicine to the best of your ability. 

That’s just the truth.

And we push against that truth when we do try to use our medicine to the best of our ability.

And that’s just one of the many multi-faceted things that is happening, all at once.

There is so much DEPTH to the creative process, and when we try to make a thing as fast as possible, or try to make a thing that will be as marketable as possible, we cut ourselves off from that depth because we are too externally focused.

I think, when we can finally allow ourselves to go there, that it’s that depth that will save us - both individually and collectively.

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It’s usually boring to show up consistently, then some days it’s ✨MAGIC✨

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I got to work this morning. This is it. No more beating around the bush. I have a plan. Everything is in place. 

I start with the Hello Day meditation that includes meeting with the soul of your business.

In the meditation, I say to the soul of the Creative Dream Incubator that I am ready to work on this project today and the Incubator shows me an image. It’s basically one part of this project.

So I thought about that part of the project, it’s probably my favourite part, and I get this sense that I need to MAKE IT ON PAPER.

I have been writing notes/ideas on my computer, thinking this is the best way to compile ideas and write sections of this and move things around, etc.

Suddenly I see how MAKING IT IN PAPER would be better for getting a feel for it.

Then I realise that this particular page would be better suited to card stock and I don’t seem to have any so now I am planning a trip to the stationary store…

When I notice “Hey that’s my resistance! Trying to find ways to get me to STOP.” Yes, the finished thing needs cardstock but this is not even a rough draft. This is just putting an idea on paper to look at it.

So I convince my self doubt that we can do this on regular paper! Let’s just keep MOVING and not let anything stop us or derail us... this is not even a first draft. It’s barely anything. No pressure. Doing this will help us figure out how to do a REAL draft… but that will come later.

(Got the idea to say “not even a rough draft” to take the pressure down for the part of me who was starting to feel like I need to figure out the BEST POSSIBLE WAY to do this right from the start. I know that I need the EASIEST POSSIBLE WAY to get started and I’ll never get to the BEST POSSIBLE WAY if I am not started and moving with it.)

At this point I have opened drawers and have things out and I’m going through my stationary stuff. I pulled out some papers. I want to do this disc bound (like a binder but just the rings) but I can’t find my discs. I KNOW I have another set of discs somewhere…

Oh! Here they are.

OH HOLY SHIT.

Here they are, holding together a different thing I made….

A thing that ANSWERS A LOT OF THE QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW TO DO THIS THING.

A thing that I had totally forgot I had made!

What?!

It may sound weird to have this whole thing I’ve made that I totally forgot about… but this is a part of the magic of being post-menopausal and highly creative. I’m also wearing a super cute vest I knitted several years ago, with a big cat on the front, which I also totally forgot I made, and I found while decluttering my closet this weekend.

So suddenly I am not starting from scratch on this project.

Suddenly I am standing on the shoulders of this other project I did several years ago that answers all of the questions I have about how to start this new one!!!!

And as I was looking through it, I felt like the soul of my business and the soul of this new project were jumping up and down clapping. They wanted to build on this, instead of start from scratch as I had been trying to do the last few weeks. 

It's AMAZING how this all came together today but let's be real about what it takes to have this stuff happen in ways that help you move forward with your dream.

The fact that I did the meditation and got a message that sent me looking through my drawers for something that was attached to the exact thing that can help me do this project… that’s not a sign that I am a special witch with magic powers or anything like that.

It’s what happens when you take more time to stop and reflect, and then take MORE TIME STILL, and keep trying to go DEEPER in terms of listening to all parts of you, especially your own soul, and also the soul of your dream.

I see it ALL THE TIME in the membership. As people really listen, and are willing to go outside of what they think the path “should” look like… they get the most amazing ideas from their own selves. Even though the ideas can seem weird or counter-intuitive at first.

A part of HAVING A DREAM is also KNOWING HOW TO MAKE IT HAPPEN IN YOUR OWN UNIQUE WAY.

These two things are connected. But you have to keep going DEEPER INTO the soul of your dream to find it - it times time to develop that relationship.

This becomes further complicated when you live in a wold that is continuously pushing on you to conform. The work of freeing yourself of all of that and being able to do your BIG MAGIC is actually really boring because it’s the work os showing up consistently, sitting with yourself and your feelings and your questions and the soul of your dream and looking, every day, for how you can go deeper into it.

These amazing days where it all comes together LIKE MAGIC only happen when you've been showing up consistently for the boring days.

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Some interesting questions + no easy answers [Dream Status Report]

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I am siting down to do my Dream Status Report for this week to check in with myself and my dreams and what I need and what my dreams need, for the coming week.

Doing this, consistently over time, IS MAGIC.... this is where your dream becomes REALITY. This is where you stop and notice: How am I showing up? Is this working for me? What else might be needed? This is where we figure things out!! There is so much we can learn by witnessing our own process.

AND... Consistency is hard for most of us these days! So - I try to do this on Sundays, and write about it here, to remind you to also take a few minutes to check in with yourself and your dreams.

So grateful for this practice this morning.

I had a busy week with so many unexpected (shitty + unwelcome) things happening. I woke up overwhelmed and then thought - oh how nice will it be to sit down and do the meditation and spend some time reflecting on everything that happened? Wouldn’t it be nice to do that and then feel more grounded where I am and where I want to go this week?

I put the meditation on and listened while I ate breakfast - not officially a meditation but that’s fine! Just practicing these alchemy meditations consistently, in whatever way you can, is enough. This helps shift your relationship with your dream which shifts your relationships with your inner wisdom, bolsters self belief and changes how you see everything.

The soul of my dream showed up as an invitation, like an invitation from a Disney story. It can fly, it sparkles, it unfolds and becomes multiple invitations. It felt like… I am multiple INVITATIONS and zero PRESSURES. It’s fine that I am circling around things a bit right now, it’s find that I'm not getting to work the way I thought I would this week. The invitation is still open. It doesn’t expire if you don’t act on it as quickly and efficiently as possible.

After sitting with the Dream Status Report questions, I realised I am being asked to consider something in a new way.

This "I had a busy week with so many unexpected shitty things happening" thing... what I realised is that I keep insisting that my ideas of what "should" happen and how my week "should" go are RIGHT. And if life "interferes" then it is "interfering". Do you catch my drift?

WHAT IF life is re-directing me?

WHAT IF life is SUPPORTING and GUIDING me?

WHAT IF these distractions, shitty happenings and disturbances are HERE TO HELP?

WHAT IF my insistence about how things SHOULD go is where the problem lays?

WHAT IF I don't control the universe and I am not supposed to try?

WHAT IF I recognize the life is a mystery and be open to finding out what it wants to show me instead of insisting that I have all the answers? Like, not to give ALL creative control of my life away but to co-create with life instead of try to control it?

There is so much detangling for me, right now, about how we hold intention.

I have been exploring this from different angles for many years but it is really HITTING ME again, in a new way, this morning.

Do we want to co-create with life or try to control the universe with our thoughts?

Do we believe that spiritual growth and maturity look like being able to expertly and consistently control the conditions of our lives?

Do we believe that every problem has an answer and if you can't find it you are failing?

Or do we believe that spiritual growth and maturity come with humility and acceptance?

Could spiritual growth and maturity be more about caring for others and building community and taking a "no seconds for anyone until everyone has had something to eat" kind of approach to abundance?

I'm not sure we are really aware of how deeply we are all impacted by this worldview that justifies the meritocracy, that says that the guy with billions of dollars is a genius who deserves to have that much more than everyone else and the people living on the street deserve to be where they are, they made mistakes and need to pull themselves up by their non-existent bootstraps.

And this worldview does come with the idea that spiritual maturity = wealth. The property gospel is the core of so many of our religions including the new age and new though spiritual-but-not-religious movements. The doctrine of discovery that justifies colonialism, genocide and slavery.

This is not about politics. This is about how these worldviews, how the culture around us, impacts us and our dreams - what we dream of and how we work with our dreams.

And it's so fucked up.

We all deserve abundance but our whole concept of what abundance means has been co-opted by capitalism. And it's got so many layers and tentacles that reach out and pull us in.

The thing is, we are immensely powerful creative beings.

And we have an infinite number of choices for HOW we wield that power.

OK. I don't have a way to wrap this up, lol. My Dream Status Report stirred up a lot of stuff and I am happy to bring all of these questions in my week. But also this journaling session me feeling pretty clear about where to focus.

 

Please reach out when you're not sure what to do with your dreams. I want to help!

Where are you this week? What's happening with your dreams? I'd love to hear your updates in the forum.

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It’s easier to hold onto your dream if you are not judging yourself for HOW you are holding it

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Anti-Doomscroll Meditation + Journaling Kit

I meant to use the Anti-Doomscoll Meditation + Journaling Kit A LOT in August.

I used it a bit, and I doom scrolled a lot.

This doesn’t mean I am doing this wrong.

It just means I am giving myself space. And you know what? Long term, this is MUCH BETTER than pushing myself to follow through “perfectly”.

This makes more space for healing and awareness and insights and the ability to create whole new ways of relating to the part of me who wants to doom scroll and the part of me who doesn’t and some of the parts in between.

(And I am defining “doom scroll” very generally here. Really screen time itself is the issue, for me. We can all define it in our own way.)

So I have been doom scrolling and watching more shows that I'd like and I don’t like it but I am just… being with that.

Noticing how it feels. Noticing the part of me who does want to doom scroll and trying to be more aware of the inner sensations of it.

And if I was using my determination to push myself to do the anti-doomscroll work I wouldn’t be able to notice all the different layers of what happens inside me when I do doom scroll, when I do want to just check out or numb out.

And when I DO do the anti-doomscroll work, it’s because I really chose it, and it’s so much more helpful.

I guess what I am saying is… I am in process. And the process is not what I thought it would be… which, it never is.

If, as a part of the process of finding my way into routines/habits that vastly reduce my screen time, I need to increase my screen time…. well that actually makes sense. Sometimes we do need to get cozy with the obstacles and learn more about them as we create new responses to them.

Or maybe I just had a bunch of things happen this week that were stressful and I didn’t have the capacity for helpful self care, so I watched shows to numb and distract myself when I could. Like - no shame in that.

We’re all dealing with so much. There is no shame in how any of us are handling anything.

And it’s easier to keep holding onto your dream is you are not judging yourself for how you are holding it, you know?

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WE! ARE! DOING! THIS! 🙌🏻🚀 Get your Virgo New Moon GET IT TOGETHER Coaching Plan Here

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Your dreams matter.

Today is a new moon in Virgo and “back to school season” which, to me, is a double dose of “let’s get it together and do the thing we’ve been wanting to do”.

This is not the time to sit on the sidelines.

You are inspired to do something. You feel called to do something.

THIS IS THE TIME TO DO IT.

Or… this is the time to START.

Because, as much as all of that is true, it’s also true that here in 2026 - your exhaustion, overwhelm and FEELINGS really matter, too.

That thing where you put your feelings and needs aside and gather up your energy and courage and go do the thing… that’s over.

In 2026 we are HEALING all the way to our dreams. We are resting along the way. We are honouring our capacity.

And we are doing all of this WITHOUT sacrificing our dreams.

We’re just moving slower.

But - because we are healing and growing as we go - and because creative dreaming is an ALCHEMICAL PROCESS where we don’t need to follow logical/linear ways of doing things - so we are also moving more powerfully.

Now is the time. Let’s do this!!!

Here is your coaching plan for Virgo New Moon/Back To School  Season “I Want To Get It Together And Make This Thing Happen” :

Start with the September New Moon Intention Setting Call. Take this time to process what’s been happening and listen to yourself about what you need now and get your future self’s help to set the right intention for you, and map out how you’ll help yourself all month.

Start doing a weekly Dream Status Report. That's the one I share here on Sundays - do it with me then or pick another day. For extra magic, come to the Co-Dreaming call on Sept 18, or work with the replay that weekend.

 

Do you need an updated plan for the Outer Work? Use the Dream Plan Kit.

I want to highlight the New Project Prompts in there - these are great for exploring your new ideas, or if you have TOO MANY PROJECT IDEAS, do these prompts for each one to help you choose which one to focus on right now.

If you're not into planning that's ok! Look through the tools + courses in the Creative Dream Alchemy Library of OUTER WORK.

 

Do you have a Dream Book for the thing you want to do? If not, start that now. Take it slowly - the idea is to go deeper into your process, not work through the promos as fast as possible - you learn more about what this particular dream needs if you slow down. If yes you already have a Dream Book for this thing - give yourself some time to look through it SLOWLY to look for insights/ideas that will help with your next steps.

 

And then ask yourself: What is your ROUTINE for SHOWING UP?

You need to SCHEDULE Dream Time! It doesn't really matter if it's four hours a day or one hour a week, schedule it and STICK TO THE SCHEDULE.

Then, if you show up on schedule and can't do the thing for whatever reason pick one of these things to do:

If you are having a hard time implementing and not sure why - go here.

If you feel stuck for any reason - go to the Un-Sticking Station. IT's always easier to just stick with the un-sticking (lol) but you can also go through the Creative Dream Alchemy Library of Inner Work practices for different kinds of Inner Work to address what has you stuck.

DOING UN-STICKING WORK COUNTS AS DREAMING. This is where you heal and grow your way there. Going deeper into Inner Work and giving it the time it needs will create whole new possibilities in the Outer Work. You're not wasting time by doing this work.

Another thing you can do when you can't "do the work" for whatever reason: Have a meeting with the soul of your dream. Or explore who you are becoming on the other side of this creative process by working with your dream self.

Or of course - WORK IN YOUR DREAM BOOK!

One last thing: Remember that the alchemy is REAL. It's not a metaphor for what happens it IS what happens

Fears, doubts and obstacles do become alchemized into fuel for the journey and wisdom to guide you.

And gifts, ideas, inspiration do become alchemized too! They become more grounded, stable and sturdy enough to count on them.

The dream itself becomes more grounded, stable and sturdy so you can depend on it.

All of this happens from showing up somewhat consistently, and doing all three parts of the work - the Dream Work and Inner Work alongside the Outer Work.

So just show up in the times when you schedule it - and do what is possible to do.

THEN, adding consistent Dream Status Reports and New Moon Intention Setting help you to learn from your process and refine it over time - this is how you create YOUR WAY to build your dream.

As always, post in the forum or email me with any questions! Let's do this!!!!

AND USE THE FAVOURITES FEATURE!!! At the bottom left of every page on the website is a purple button that says "favourite". Click it to "favourite" a thing, and it will turn orange. At the top of ever page on the website is a menu that has "classes + faves" as an option - go to that page and you'll find a list of everything you have favourited, above the list of ALL of the classes.

Once you're done with something, click the favourite button at the bottom of the page again, it will turn purple and be removed from your list.

This way it's easier to find the practices you are working with. So favourite this post to come back to it and work through the plan 🙂

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FREE CLASS: MAKE MORE SPACE IN YOUR LIFE FOR YOUR DREAM