While I believe that following your dreams is the path to radiant authenticity, deep soul fulfillment and creative delight – I don’t always know what my dream is.
For a long time, I had one dream that eclipsed all other dreams: the dream to be sustainably creatively self-employed.
That dream took a lot of different shapes before turning into what I do today.? I failed with many ventures and struggled a lot.? But no matter where I was on the path, the bright light of that dream was illuminating the path.
These days, it’s different.
I’ve discovered that the dream of being sustainably creatively self-employed really wasn’t about work or money or art.? It was about empowerment and authenticity and living in a way that is true to my heart.
And there is a softness and delight about living in tune with my heart and it’s that softness and delight that lights up the path now.? And it shines in a different way.? Not so bright and sharp.? It’s more diffuse and almost feels like it’s shining inside me, not outside.
So the things I move towards, the dreams I am working on, have changed.? The direction has changed, I don’t feel like I am moving towards things so much as moving towards my actual self.
So I’m moving towards being more in tune with my heart even though I don’t always know what that means, in a practical sense.? I just follow what feels right.
When my car needed to be replaced last year, getting another car didn’t feel right.? What felt right was to walk, I wrote about that here.
Walking was delightful in the fall, winter and early spring and then I started to think about getting a bike, though I hadn’t ridden a bike in 20 years.
I didn’t know if I would like it, I was sure I’d be too terrified to drive in traffic, but wondered if I could at least ride to the park so I could sit under a tree on hot summer days, because walking there in the heat felt annoying.
There were a lot of of unknowns, I had a lot of questions about how this was going to work, but this is where the path was leading, so I decided to get a bike.
I got this fabulous bike, in purple.? (I’m sure my happy bike story has a lot to do with going to a great bike shop and having someone help me find the exact right bike for me.)
That bike changed everything.
It’s not just that a bike could get me around faster.
A bike introduced me to a whole new way of getting around my city – there are so many connected bike paths that I didn’t know about!? Or I knew about parts of them, here and there, but didn’t know how they’re all connected.? Or the delight of crossing rivers on pedestrian bridges.
And I didn’t know how FUN it would be to ride them – walking a path really is different.
And I didn’t know how much happier I would be if I was riding every day.? Or how good it would feel to feel stronger which I definitely am as I’ve averaged between 15-20 km/day on the bike for the past 6 months.
It’s safe to say I fell in love with cycling.? I took my bike in for a tune-up this week and needed a ton of new parts because, as the mechanic said “I have ridden the pants off this thing.”
I thought there was no way I could/would ride in traffic, but I do.? Though I’ve also found that I am usually happy to take a longer route to avoid busy streets.
Honestly, I used to see people cycling and assume I could never be one of those people.? And now here I am.
What I have found is that following your dreams will take you to surprising places and show you ways of living and being that make you happy, deep down in your bones – even when you’re not sure of what you want.