This month’s Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice call was a bit of a breakthrough for me.
I wasn’t having a good day, mood and energy wise. I’ve been feeling like I am moving more slowly than I want to with a lot of things and frustrated with myself.
So I really wanted to do this meditation on the call and “figure my shit out”
LOL
The LOL is in hindsight because that desire to “figure my shit out” so that I can get moving with things is fuelled by the same frustration that is NOT helping me.
In the meditation, the soul of my business was like “Awww sweetie I’m so sorry you’re having a rough time”...
... and I realized I had fully expected it to wave a magic wand and cure me so I could get back to work.
And the whole rest of the meditation was about how important my own wellbeing is, as a part of the eco-system of my business. And how the only ways we can do things, are ways that nourish and restore ME.
And in some ways I have always tried to do this! I have run my business very differently than what most businesses out there are like. I really have prioritized my self care in ways I don’t see happen in our world very much…
AND…
I grew up in this world! I have inherited its values and beliefs. Capitalism, productivity, earning worthiness… these things are engrained in me like they are engrained in all of us.
And I’ve worked so hard to see them inside me, and pull them out by the root. A lot of us have been doing this work for a long time. AND. There is more to do.
So it’s like I found a new layer of it.
Which also means I found a new layer of permission to prioritize my needs.
But it’s like… some ways that I have been doing that been a compromise between “prioritize my needs” and “get shit done”. Like - where is the venn diagram of those two things and what can we do that honours both?
BUT NOW IT FEELS LIKE: prioritizing my needs is a legit PRIORITY. THE PRIORITY. No intersecting circles, just one priority.
Which feels 🤯
So “getting shit down” is what needs to compromise.
Which feels terrifying as this is my livelihood!
And I have never minded working hard! I love it actually!
But right now, the messages I was getting from the soul of my business…
Something needs to change and I don’t see it yet.
Like there is a way to do things that is so outside of what I have done before.
I know the traditional business model is to hire more help - get more done with less effort. And I have some help in my business and I don’t knock anyone who does it this way.
But that’s not that this feels like, at all.
It feels like a radical shift in perspective about HOW things get done.
A radical shift in perspective in how I approach it and think about it.
I don’t mean just “be aligned” and it will all be easy...
There is something that wants to change and I need to slow down further to see it.
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