I am so happy to share ANOTHER book that's been published by one of our amazing Dream Book members:
No Sticks or Stones No Broken Bones: Healing cPTSD when the trauma wasn’t physical; It was naCCT: Non-physically-assaultive, attachment-based Chronic Covert Trauma by Ricia Fleming.
Here is Ricia in a beach labyrinth she made with some friends:
Ricia is a long-time member of Dream Book and a continual source of inspiration to me. I've been DELIGHTED to watch this book take shape over time, but didn't realize until I started reading it this weekend, what an incredible revelation it is.
What Ricia has defined as non-physically-assaultive, attachment-based Chronic Covert Trauma is something that I believe almost all of us suffer from, kind of an inevitable side-effect of late stage capitalism.
It's WHY we struggle to believe in ourselves and go after our dreams with the full force of our creative genius.
So, obviously, I believe this is a very important book for my fellow creative dreamers and encourage you to check it out.
In Ricia's words:
Some of us remember tightening our stomachs and chanting with all the bravado we could muster:
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But names will never hurt me.
How we longed for that to be true. We longed to be delivered from the dizzy feeling, the sensation like a fist in the stomach, that told us how badly we'd been hurt by a name, how deeply wounded we'd been when we were left out, humiliated, or abandoned.
Many decades as a psychotherapist have compelled me to respect these intangible wounds. Like many of my colleagues, I have become convinced that these wounds, especially those that recur in a child's relationship with a caregiver, are often serious enough to be accurately classified as trauma. The name I've given them is (naCCT).
The reality of naCCT was brought home to me in my work with over 4000 people challenged by such problems as anxiety, depression, addictions,and physical pain. Their struggles testified to the power of naCCT. And their triumphs demonstrated that healing is possible.
Recovery takes a lot of nerve.
Here is a map of the recovery process from the point of view of the adult survivor of naCCT, grappling with the cPTSD it caused. what you are going to do, how you are going to do it, what tools and resources will help you do it, and special tips for success, what to say to yourself and what to do for yourself.
On writing the book:
Writing the book is a record of what I experienced as a hero's journey to validate myself and puzzle out an answer to the question: "if nothing was wrong, what's wrong with me?"
As I wrote the book, the me that is a struggling human being and the me that is a professional therapist came together, merged and integrated. "Physician, heal thyself," This is the story of how PatRicia J. Fleming Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Ph.D. in English, detective and researcher in the mysteries of the human soul, came to apply her professional expertise to her own misery and learn to trust her own experience and validate herself. It is not a memoir. It is a record of discovery. The exercises, the healing activity interludes, are very like those I did myself. The footnotes and references are not to lifeless articles in dry as dust archives, they are the life-saving words of validation and sanity given to me by my friends in books, guidance given to a lost child searching in a bramble wood by marvelous wise beings send by higher powers of love and wisdom. I hope what I write will serve that guidance function for readers.
Going through the experience of writing this book, I learned that a door to healing opens when you turn toward the very things about yourself and your life that you want to avoid
--the painful moods, distressing physical problems, embarrassing behaviors, unhappy relationships and situations. Instead of just bashing yourself for having these difficulties and trying to will them away or sweep them under the rug, pay kind respectful attention to them.
Pay attention to troublesome symptoms, especially when you have dismissed the possibility of trauma in your childhood.
Dignify your distress. Trust your present experience, especially body based experiences such as painful body/feeling states (including depression, anxiety, and physical sensations, even including pain), the nature of relationships, and attempts at self-medication (e.g. addictions). Welcome the insights they give you into your true story, your total life experience and what lessons you may learn in this lifetime.
Honor that experience, respect it, take it seriously. Provide yourself with compassionate witness and gentle guidance, free from self-hate, shame, and moral condemnation.
Attending to present distressing moods, physical symptoms, troublesome relationships and annoying behaviors can lead to knowing and appreciating your true life story, developing the ability to gently guide yourself in new directions that will bring you to a place of greater joy.