Last week I did a really lovely live video playdate as a part of 21 Secrets Live art journal class. It was a really lovely group, and I was sharing how I use my journal to work with my dreams, which led to a really lovely discussion of the obstacles to dreaming.
A lot of people attending were feeling conflicted about their dream. Like: I want this, but I also want that. And this and that are not compatible!
Feeling conflicted leaves people feel frustrated and powerless and never knowing what to be giving their energy and attention to.
The most universal example of this is women feeling like they need to choose between motherhood and career. Or choosing to have both and then always feeling like they’ve got too many things to juggle.
But feeling conflicted about what you REALLY want is super common and comes into play in a myriad of big and small ways every day.
- I want to have nachos for lunch but I like how I feel energized and nourished when I eat the kale salad.
- I long for a clean, minimalist space to work in my but art is just inherently messy, there are tools and supplies everywhere.
- I want to live in a tiny cabin in the woods but I’d miss my friends and fun city social life.
- I want to travel but I also want to create my dream home and can only afford to do one.
We are complex multi-dimensional beings. We have a lot of wants, needs and desires. It makes sense that they’re not always going to jive perfectly together.
Or does it?
It’s important to remember that all dreams come from the same place: your soul.
ALL dreams move you towards purpose, authenticity, joy, wholeness by bringing you into richer alignment with your soul.
And all of your dreams are connected to each other through that soul connection.
Since they’re all connected they CAN and DO jive perfectly together. On a soul level, your desires are singing this gorgeous symphony together – the symphony of your unique self.
But sometimes you need to expand your perspective in order to see and experience that.
No one EVER likes when I talk about this next part. But bear with me…
The teachings behind the popular Law of Attraction include many other spiritual laws. Laws which are nowhere near as fun as imagining that the universe is a giant vending machine, so they don’t get as much air time.
One of them is the Law of Sacrifice. See? Not fun at all.
You can do/be/have anything but you can’t do/be/have everything.
People hate this and so they go back to… well they go back to juggling, frustration and powerlessness.
Most people don’t spend enough time exploring sacrifice to find the magic in it. There is this immediate “oh hell no I’m not sacrificing anything” and an unwillingness to really look at this any deeper.? But sacrifice will actually get you somewhere, whereas juggling will not.
Underneath this pattern of feeling conflicted is a lack of clarity.
Sacrifice demands CLARITY. You can’t sacrifice something unless you are super clear on what is going on: why you are sacrificing what and how and for how long and what result you expect this to bring you.
This is true clarity about what you are bringing to life, in your life.
A lack of clarity is a sign that you’ve got some fears/doubts/inner-critics/limiting-beliefs/old patterns-which-no-longer-serves-you that are in need of your attention.
Clarity terrifies us because it demands that we deal with the exact thing we’re afraid to face. That’s why people would rather just stay in that place of “my dreams are conflicted, I’ll just stand here and juggle with them”.
But not you, you are committed to your dreams so you’re going to follow the Law of Sacrifice.
Which does not mean that a sacrifice is ALWAYS needed. The really cool thing is that being willing to look at your shit, and I mean REALLY look at your shit, often opens up new possibilities for how it can all jive together.
At the very least, it gets you in tune with the soul symphony of dreams you’ve got going on so you can see and appreciate how it all fits together and how that does not mean you necessarily get to have it all, right now. Because time and space are a bitch! But we have to work with them. It’s part of the deliciousness of being alive.
But there is always a way to get what you REALLY want.
Underneath the physical aspect of your dream is its essence: the heart and soul of your dream. You can always integrate the heart and soul of your dream into whatever is happening in your physical reality.
This is when your perception shifts and either new doors of possibility open up for you or you see a way that your conflicting dreams can nest together perfectly, with a few small shifts.
All the conflicts are happening on the surface level. You need to be working with your dream soul to soul. (here‘s a video on that)
So if you’re feeling conflicted, know that this doesn’t mean you have to keep juggling and being frustrated about feeling conflicted. It just means that working out your inner conflict is your next step on your path.
HINT: Often what needs to be sacrificed is an old way of thinking/being/seeing.
I teach this in detail in the Un-Sticking Station in the Creative Dream Circle. Using the superpowers of CREATIVITY and LOVE you can work out the conflict and get back to smooth sailing with your dreams.
Because often what you think you want often isn’t what you actually want.
Other people’s expectations and society’s unspoken rules can dance around in your head and make you think you want this when really you want that.
Plus, your own limiting beliefs will distort how well you can see your dream.
This can happen in a million different ways.? For example, if you have an un-healed inner child who is crying out for external approval, that part of you is going to twist your dream into something that will turn you into someone who gets loads of external approval.? Meanwhile, no matter how well you do with you YOU are not going to feel satisfied because your dream is all twisted up.
And having this inner conflict is OK!
Working through your conflict is the path to your dream, it clears space for you to know, unequivocally, what you want and how you want it.