A few things happened yesterday that were super destructive to my concentration and energy. One of the things also meant I got to bed a few hours later than usual.
So I woke up late, groggy, foggy and overwhelmed.
I decided to use the 20 minute version of the Dream Lab meditation for my morning practice to really sink in, connect with the soul of my dream, dust off all this fog, and get my head in the game.
Ha!
Three minutes in, as I was trying to settle into the Field of Creative Dream Alchemy, my inner wisdom was like... Girl, it's ok to be unfocused today. You are depleted. Having a goal to get your head in the game ASAP is ridiculous.
And then I remembered this beautiful healing lesson I had received this year.
Around how if my home is really disheveled that's a sign that I am overwhelmed and the answer is NOT to get my shirt together as quickly as possible, the answer is to TEND to the overwhelm.
Which seems obvious when I write it out.
But usually when laundry is piled up and my home is cluttered and I feel behind on everything... my first response is to hurry up and get it together.
This year I have really learned to gift of turning that around, treating the state of my home as a signal of my inner depletion or fullness...
Not that if I don't INSTANTLY empty the dishwasher when it's finished this means there is something wrong with me. More like, if it's been a day and I feel overwhelmed at the thought of emptying it - the answer is that I need more rest and filling the well.
The ways I've just pushed myself to get shit done my whole life don't work anymore and I don't want them to.
AND I am still in this place where some of my engrained responses are to do things how I've always done them.
So it was really beautiful that the meditation did NOT bring me what I thought I wanted, but did remind me of my deeper truth that I am in process of integrating.
