I’m calling today The Last Day Of Summer.
It’s the last day of summer weather on the forecast.
And I know we’re likely it have more hot days this month, but with the overnight lows getting lower, it’s not going to FEEL like summer again.
The Last Day Of Summer.
It really feels like I am standing on a precipice.
The last week and a half Joseph and I (mostly him) have been working on tearing down my old workspace and building a new bedroom pergola, a wall, kitchen cabinets/shelves, a closet and a new TV stand (there was a LOT of wood in that old workspace).
Joseph is almost finished the building and I am starting the painting now.
We are transforming the Dream Loft into OUR home.
I should back up a bit, I guess.
A year and a half ago, Joseph moved out of the Dream Loft. We didn’t “separate” and we didn’t want to, but we also couldn’t keep going as things were at that time. During the pandemic, so many different things intersected… but that’s actually not a story I want to share.
The story I want to share is that he moved out, and with the magic of space (and gifted therapists) we created a much closer and more nourishing relationship.
But over the last 6 months we’ve both been feeling like we have too much space. Like we want to live together again.
Not that living together is better! I stand by everything I have written about how we have to do relationships in the ways that feel true for us, and not just do what “everyone does”.
So - I was actually really shocked when I started to feel like I wanted him to move back in, because when I thought about our future this was the one scenario that I was sure would NEVER happen. I mostly saw us living together someone else, further in the future.
And here we are. The Last Place I Though I Would Ever Be.
We thought of a way to re-arrange the entire space. Which is the magic of open loft living!
Joseph took two weeks off work for the construction part. Then I’ll paint (like - murals and fun stuff). We’re both purging and organizing and we’ll put more work in to creating a more functional space.
I still love the spaciousness of loft living, but it does mean you need to put more thought and effort into being organized, or just not have any stuff.
And here we are. I am ready to start painting.
But first. The Last Day Of Summer.
It’s like - one last day for my favourite summer things. Like meeting a friend for a picnic lunch in the park. Last year on this day I went to the beach later in the day for one last swim.
This year? I don’t even know what I want to do.
It just feels SO MUCH like a precipice day.
The last year and a half, living apart, my husband and I grew so much. You know how therapists like you to name the ways you are changing - we can name hundreds of things that have changed in how we are in this relationship.
Like when we met, we knew what we wanted, but didn’t have the skills to create that relationship. And, together, we have learned those skills. And now we’re ready to move into the next phase of our relationship.
And the kids! Well they’re not kids anymore. And I don’t share their stories, but they are also moving on to new and exciting things.
And my work! I’ll share more about this later, but the Dream Loft re-arrangement includes me having a new creative studio. I feel like I am creating the space for my next level of art and writing and creating. There is SO MUCH I want to do and this new space feels like the perfect place to do it.
And my health! I’ve found the right supplements to manage my pedi-menopause symptoms and I FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN after a very long few years.
It feels like it’s all falling into place, but also - I’ve worked at this for the last few years, by showing up consistently for my dreams.
And by “dreams” I mean - taking my own needs seriously. By showing up for my Dream Work practice even when dreams felt far away I figured out how to navigate this weird time, and create a space for my future dreams to take root.
I created this.
I brought myself to this place.
And today I’m just going to enjoy one last day of summer, and appreciate where I am, before taking the next steps.