The head of the snake on the motorcycle jacket I've been embroidering... more below
I was stuck with a creative project and starting to feel all the feelings of not doing the thing I really want to be doing: creative blocks, what if I never created again? fear of failure, feeling not good enough, overwhelm, "maybe I should just take a break from all of this", etc.
With the stress of everything in the world, it feels easier for me to fall into a hole with this stuff.
So I did a coaching session with myself.
And I decided to share it with you because I think it's helpful to remember that we can't just WAIT until we know exactly how to do a thing, before we get started.
It's easy for it to FEEL LIKE there is no way in, but we have to get in there and explore and figure out how to CREATE the way in. Otherwise, we will never begin. And we deserve to be fully immersed in the magic of our creative flow!
So, what brings you to see me today?
I want to be making art. I am not making art. I have time. I have supplies. I have space. I have ideas. I am not doing anything with any of it.
That sounds very frustrating!
Oh my gosh yes it is! So much!
So what happens when you’re not making art? What are you doing instead?
I’m not even sure. Oh! Whoa! I don’t really have a plan… or more like I don’t have a schedule. So I just… do my day and then the day is done and I haven’t done the art.
So is that all you need? A schedule that fits at in with your life?
What I really want is to have pieces I can pick up and work on any time. And I want to GO TO ART more often. Oh! I mean, yes I AM DOING THIS already, I’ve been embroidering a snake all over a motorcycle jacket I am sewing. Since the drawing/planning is all done, I can just pick it up and embroider for a few minutes and I do that A LOT. I am almost finished everything I can do without sewing the jacket together. I am so proud of this and can’t wait to finish.
So, the snake jacket is your art? You have been doing it? You're not stuck?
Well, yes and no. I was thinking it was a good project to get my hands back into the feel of embroidery. And a great project as a “having a thing on the go that is easy to pick up and work on” which is a MUST because of my health problems and brain fog right now. But this is a jacket for me, it’s not a part of this body of work I want to create, though it is connected in a way.
This jacket is also a symbol of all the skins I am shedding and the ways I am changing in mid-life. And embodying more of my artist self, and creating this new body of work, is a part of that.
An earlier photo of the snake jacket embroidery in process
That’s amazing! BUT it sounds like just working on the jacket isn’t enough to make you feel satisfied with how you are engaging with your creativity.
BINGO. I want to take everything that is going well with the jacket, and apply it to this new body of work. Which is so hard to do because I don’t know what this new art IS. I am doing experiments.... But I guess I can plan out a big project and then do it like I did with the jacket?
Is that really such a big problem? If you have experiments to do, can you not just focus on doing them for now?
I guess it’s just so much starting and stopping. I would love a BIG project to sink my teeth into. There’s also another aspect to this: having work I can pick up and do with my hands is so important for my mental health. It has to be at the stage where I am not thinking about what to do, just doing repetitive hand sewing. And the motorcycle jacket is almost finished so I'd like other projects at that stage to be ready to go when it's done.
So you need a lot of smaller projects to make sure you don’t run out of projects that are at that stage?
Yes, I guess that’s it.
Can you start a bunch of smaller projects?
Well, this is where my brain just shuts down.
OK let’s explore then. Can you tell me about these projects?
Kind of, but I am so vague. Like I don’t know that much about them… not enough to actually MAKE THEM REAL. I just have this vague idea of the big picture of where I’d like to be doing, the details are not there.
Well that is a part of the creative process. We don't start out already knowing the whole way there. Can you tell me about the experiments you are doing?
I am trying different ways of painting, printing, appliqué and embroidery. I am guess I am trying to figure out the practicalities of how I want to do this. I feel like there is this whole visual language I want to create for this work. This is all besides the specific designs for projects I want to come up with.
Can you make that a project? Creating this new visual language?
My brain feels so twisty. I can’t really hold onto anything about that. I don’t know what that would look like I guess.
Is there another way in you can think of?
Making a list of all of the ideas I have? Maybe a sketchbook? I just have all of these vague ideas floating around in my mind, it's very hard to pull something out.
Can we try that right now?
I wrote out nine different project ideas in a notebook.
But that makes me feel just as stuck! Like, I think I need to get some felt, I’m not sure the cotton I have is the right thing. Can I even start?
Usually if I can't even START, I am thinking too big. I think I need to start small, I don’t know what small is in this case.
OK. So far here’s what we know:
You could use a schedule, like scheduling time specifically to get some projects started
You could use a sketchbook to get your ideas out of your head and be more clear about what you want to make.
You may need to get some felt, if the supplies you have don’t feel right.
I’m starting to feel excited about one of the ideas I put in the sketchbook.
And the "I don't have felt and maybe I need felt" doesn't seem like such an issue - I can just go to Micheals and get a bunch of felt if I do need it.
After that, I just.... made art 
I didn't go buy felt and I didn't start a specific project like I thought I needed to. I went back to the original idea of creating a visual language. I printed and painted a bunch of fabric that I can use for any of my project ideas.
IT FELT AMAZING.
I felt like WHOA I AM DOING IT!!!! Every time my hands touched the fabric I felt THRILLED.
The magic of making art after being creatively blocked for a while.
And while I was printing and painting that fabric...
I noticed how I need so much more structure in my business AND in my art.
BUT not the kinds of structure I have ever had before. And that's why this has been so tricky to figure out.
I have been doing Structure, Habits, Routines. I am still sitting with the questions and feeling into... what do I want the structures, habits and routines of life to FEEL LIKE and what kinds of structures, habits and routines will help me accomplish what I want to accomplish without overwhelm or stretching my capacity?
And I'm becoming more clear about WHY the way I have been planning this year isn't quite working for me.
And starting to get ideas for what to change!
I'm moving SO SLOW with this but also, I am radically changing how I see and work with time, dreams and goals.
This is BIG work. This is important stuff to do at mid-life. I am detaching from old ways of being and doing. I am listening more deeply to what feels true to me now.
I am so deep in the Dream Work and Inner Work, soul and healing. I am not in a place where the Outer Work looks clear and put together AND I SHOULDN'T!!! Because I want to put the Outer Work together in a way that reflects the deep work I am doing in Dream Work and Inner work and... I am not done yet.
So, I could stop judging myself for how slow I am moving 
and instead appreciate how much more deeply ALIGNED WITH MY MEDICINE AND MAGIC my structures, routines and habits will be when I do get this all sorted out.
But re-reading all of this I have to call myself out on something. I wasn't being honest.
The "embroidering a snake on a motorcycle jacket" project has been REALLY smooth sailing this winter but it wasn't easy to start that one either! It looks YEARS to figure out what I was doing with it. I think I bought the fabric and sewing pattern in 2023.
Big projects, with lots of different elements, take time to figure out!
You DO NOT start out already knowing all of the details.
It's a PROCESS.
When you remember that it's a PROCESS then the only goal really is to STAY IN THE PROCESS.
Which, for me, takes so much pressure away from "figuring it all out".
"Trust the process" is more about trusting yourself to STAY in the process long enough to get what you want from it.
Co-Dreaming/Co-Working call is today! I hope to see you there!
We'll start with a short meditation for connecting with the soul of your dream (like the Dream Lab) and then have time for whatever you want to do - planning next week, working on your projects, sharing your updates, talking about something that is stuck with your dreams or just hanging out in the magic of the group.
Call details are here. Replay will be there a few hours after we're done today.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)
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Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
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