(Journaling cutout from Dream Book)
I want to keep exploring that bit from last week’s Dream Status Report about the “happy fairy” and “business bitch”
They want different things AND there has got to be a way for them to work together.
This feels juicy right now. (Always look deeper into the things that feel the most energized for you - the things that feel juicy and exciting AND the things that feel terrifying)
Happy Fairy wants:
- JOY and FLOW! Painting and meditation and time for sewing and embroidery and maybe exploring new crafts. Going for long walks. Going out for coffee. Cooking. Aromatherapy. I mean she could go on forever, the shortest way to say it is MAKE MORE TIME FOR ALL THE THING THAT BRING JOY
- The business goal! Yes she wants to HAVE it but she doesn’t want to do the things she doesn’t want to do to get it.
- But yes she is willing to explore NEW ways as long as they are aligned with VALUES and JOY
Business Bitch wants:
- Spreadsheets! Organization! Plans! To see what we are doing and see how we are progressing. (Though even as I write this my tummy gets all uncomfortable and wants to say: but I want to FEEL FREE and not tie myself down with business plans)
- For me to STAY ON SCHEDULE. I’m not entirely sure what this means, but it feels important to her.
- Then she sits down and looks right at me, very intense eye contact, and says “I want to succeed so everyone is safe and happy.” OK whoa this is not a dream, this is a trauma response so that’s something to explore.
- She looks at Happy Fairy’s list and says “Yeah that’s ok BUT SAFETY FIRST. We have to KNOW that we are safe and secure in reaching the goal BEFORE we can play.”
This is good. Now I can see more clearly what conflicts need to be addressed:
Happy Fairy really is connected my values and my inner truth. She does not seem to be concerned with the realities of life on earth. She feels I should be more respectful of the power of TRUST.
The Business Bitch us VERY concerned with the realities of life on earth. She is in a trauma response, she wants to create safety and certainty in an unsafe and uncertain world. She doesn’t believe it’s safe to have joy and freedom and creative flow without earning it first, and she seems to think this must be re-earned every day.
Like - ideally we don’t need to earn these things at all! BUT even if we did have to earn then - haven’t I earned them already? I have worked very hard for a long time.
OK this feels like enough to explore for today.
Awareness DOES shift things.
It’s not usually ALL you need. But it’s a big step.
And this feels like enough for today. I’ll let it simmer and check back in in a few days.