Have you noticed how in any interesting story… there are characters, and there is an event, and the event changes the characters? And how, so often, we like them better as their changed selves and even THEY seem to like themselves better as their changed selves? Even though the event was traumatizing and unwanted?
I’m re-watching Stranger Things and was really appreciating Nancy Wheeler’s transformation from kind of prissy entitled teenaged girl to monster slayer, risking her life to protect others. I think you can tell she loves who she’s become.
That was one of the things I remember about my divorce. When it happened so suddenly, and felt like this huge dramatic wave, I thought… I don’t want this to change me. I don’t want it to make me bitter and shut down.
That was just a response in the moment. In time I started to see how much I DID want the divorce process to change me. How unwanted, uninvited traumatic experiences actually do have the power to HEAL us and help us move deeper into who we really are.
That wish “I DON’T WANT THIS TO CHANGE ME. I DON’T WANT MY LIFE TO CHANGE” is a natural response to traumatic events… AND… a “natural response to a traumatic event” could also be called a trauma response… and we don’t want to stay in that response.
My social media feeds are full of ads for different ways to regulate your nervous system so you can stay positive… like the right yoga routine can cure fascism, late stage capitalism and climate collapse.
I get the wish to try to stay positive, keep your nervous system regulated, and hold onto the things that matter to you. But again, do you want to stay in a trauma response?
Of course, I really want you to be taking good care of yourself.
OF COURSE I REALLY want you to not give up on your dreams.
But we also have to remember that our dreams are our creative and spiritual responses to the world we live in. So as the world changes, our dreams may change, we may change, and we need to make space for all of that.
Right now, if you feel stuck or unsure with your dreams, it could be that your dreams need you to let them change in light of how the world is changing.
Support for this in the membership:
The Dream Lab! This helps you really dig in and explore the soul of your dream, you can even ask your dream directly “Do you need to change?”
Dream Book 2026 - a gentle practice for showing up and holding space for yourself, your dreams and the future you want to create. These dailyISH check ins can help you notice, over time, what needs to change.
We have a New Moon Intention Setting Ritual this Friday - the way we do that ritual also helps us connect with ourselves and our dreams and make space to really LISTEN so we can see the changes that want to happen. (This work the same if you come live or watch the replay over the weekend)
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Check out Dream Book 2026 or do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice!
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!
