I share my own Creative Dream Alchemy practice on my blog + often link to the tools I use which are only available to Creative Dream Incubator Membership members. If you're not a member, those links will take you to the sign up page to join us!

I am going in.

I’ve got the 35 minute full Un-Sticking Meditation cued up and ready to go.

I’ve got my Dream Book and pencil case of paint pens and coloured markers.

 

I want to explore this cluster of “business stucks” I keep coming up against.

I recognize - I don’t see all of what is happening here. There is a lot going on and some of it is unconscious or just not in my direct awareness. I have so many feelings about being self employed in late stage capitalism! I also have so much passion and devotion to what I am doing. And gratitude that I get to do it!

I’ve got a complicated little cluster of feelings going on, but it’s the PRESSURE TO DO IT RIGHT that seems like the most weighted thing right now. So that’s where I’ll start.

(It doesn’t matter where you start, especially if you have a lot of feelings, just pick anything and start there)

Sometimes I can just lie down, put the meditation on, and do the whole thing in my head. But more often, it helps me to do this in my journal so I can see everything that’s happening outside of me.

Once I did the first part, getting into the Field of Creative Dream Alchemy… I felt so much better about everything I almost didn’t want to keep going. I felt like I could trust myself to figure this out, and that my plan is good, and I can just… do this.

But I keep going, I invited this perfectionism in... and it was bad.

This terrifying but tiny creature with a big whip and a menacing quality. It felt like a horror movie.

And I saw myself engaging with it - I was even tinier, kind of curled up, with my arms wrapped around my knees, trying to protect myself from it.

This felt SO HARD to be with, but then as I sat there, it mellowed. I saw the pattern. I noticed how familiar it feels.

Working through the meditation, things kept changing. It got soooo weird.

My stuck was insisting that the only way it can leave me alone is if I promise super solemn pinky swear that I will do this absolutely perfectly and I all I could do was laugh. “Dude, that’s not even a thing!!!!”

It was good to explore, with my perfectionistic stuck, what perfection even is in this case.

The stuck wants me to get EVERY FREAKING EXTERNAL OUTCOME I WOULD WANT from this one project. Like everything is hanging on this.

So I try to show it how that’s not true.

It’s unconvinced but I feel a lot more rooted in knowing that I don’t need to get this 100% super totally absolutely perfect... and more importantly that the idea that there is a perfect way to do this is LAUGHABLE.

And then… I don’t know what happened… a new character which seems to be a heart with arms and legs... kind of descended into the scene and told us both to BE WHOLEHEARTED. That can be the goal, instead of perfect.

The mencaing beast is kind of interested in wholehearted.

I feel like… I AM wholehearted. What I want is to be feel UNENCUMBERED CREATIVELY with this project.

As usual, as we got deeper into it, it became more and more clear that the stuck, the menacing beast, is the thing that’s in the way… like it’s not just keeping me stuck, it’s even stopping itself from having what it wants!

This walking heart says it can take the stuck to wholeheartedness school and keep it there, which is more like a retreat center. We could let the menacing beast marinate in love and wholeheartedness and maybe it can learn to trust the process in time?

And then here I am, with what feels like a new dream but is what I wanted all along… to feel unencumbered in my creative process.

And I feel less stuck!

I do feel a big shift inside me.

And I feel less pressure about this project and like there is some space to FEEL MORE FREE in how I approach it.

 

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