I’ve been feeling… some kind of way… this week. I wasn’t really sitting with it, I was just annoyed with it and trying to move on with my work.
But, of course, it feels like I am moving through molasses. I can't move on and do my work.
So I halfheartedly decided to sit with it. I didn’t get out one of the Inner Work meditations I just stopped what I was doing and tried to figure out what it was I was feeling.
PRESSURE.
Is it PRESSURE to do my best work with Your Creative Dreamer? But that doesn't feel like a bad thing, more like I just care a lot about this project?
Oh! No - there is PRESSURE to do my best job PROMOTING Your Creative Dreamer and that is a BAD kind of pressure.
It comes in like a WALL of energy that is heavy and filled with perfectionism and stories about how easy it will be to GET THIS WRONG and how terrible it would be to GET IT WRONG and how actually if I GET THIS WRONG this means I have failed as a human being.
It carries the story that there is a RIGHT WAY to do all of this but it is very hard to find the way in to the right way.
So no wonder I was feeing like I was moving through molasses.
But as soon as I saw what this energy was made of, I saw the solution.
Getting to the part where you are promoting/selling YOUR HEART/SOUL WORK is a major threshold. Even though this work has been my livelihood for 16 years, it’s still a new threshold with each new project.
And these thresholds are places where a lot is happening! Including a lot of stories from capitalism and dominant culture’s ideas of how things have to be. Including a lot of self doubt. Including just a fucking LOT of a LOT.
And I wasn’t acknowledging that this was a threshold with a lot of a lot going on in it, I was acting like this is just a bunch of items on a to do list.
I was also not noticing, so not questioning the stories about there being a FIRM RIGHT WAY and how important it was for me to find it.
But once I saw all of this I instantly knew what to do.
Give myself permission to do this how I want to.
Not the way that brings in the most sales, but the way that feels inspired and honest and do-able-within-my-actual-capacity-not-my-imagined-dream-capacity.
WHEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW.
The pressure valve is released.
And yeah - this is something for me to really sit with:
HOW DO I WANT TO DO THIS vs WHAT IS THE IDEAL BEST WAY (ACCORDING TO EXPERTS AND INTERNET GURUS) TO DO THIS.
The thing is, I have almost never done things “the right way” when it comes to selling my work.
I do not believe that putting out a promotional campaign that brings in the most money is in the best interests of my work, long term.
I know the gurus will say I am thinking small and have a problem with mindset.
But what I have a deep understanding and connection to the soul of my work.
And a commitment to live my values. Which includes staying self employed! There are a lot of layers and things to consider.
And even though I have been doing this in a way that works for me for a very long time, all of the NOISE from the outside still gets in.
I still need to take time to really consider how I want to put this out there.
This is what we do on the Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice calls.
We don't focus on the tactics of marketing but on the energy of what's happening with you in your process of sharing your gifts with the world, connecting with the soul of your work and with the people your work is for and looking at how to offering your work in a way that it can be fully received.
(So if you are in the membership and relating to what I am sharing - look at the meditation on that page and give this a try!)
A part of that is knowing... if you have gifts to share then there already are people who those gifts are for.
You don't need to persuade anyone of anything.
You do need to learn how to put yourself out there in a way that the people who want your work can find you.
But that usually does not need to look like a million Instagram followers or the biggest flashiest launch or anything like how the online business gurus operate...
And yet the cultural stories of THIS IS WHAT SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE persist.
And so, with each new thing, there is shit to sort through.
