OK yesterday I figured out where my creative process was being stifled by PRESSURE.
But today I am still all over the place. I am getting some things done here and there but I can’t quite settle in to the deep work that this project requires.
I want to say that not every day is conducive to deep work and today is not the day for it… but that feels like an excuse.
So? What’s happening here? How do I want to be with this?
I did the Hello Day meditation to meet with the soul of my business and look at my focus for the day and the soul of the Creative Dream Incubator was holding this rippling mystical energy above my head, ready to rain down on me everything I want. And it was like: I just need to get ready to receive it.
And I know what I need to do TO receive it. I'm not 100% sure HOW to do it but I know WHAT to do and could experiment and explore... but I have a lot of other stuff happening too, like a cloud of things. There is clutter of ideas circling my head, making it so I can't really focus.
On one hand - this is the curse of the creative mind. There are always so many more ideas!
On the other hand - this is classic resistance/avoidance. I can’t complete anything if I am allowing all of these ideas to float around in my head.
Staying in this place, not being willing to put other ideas aside to focus on one and actually complete it - IS A DREAM KILLER.
It’s something we do to avoid the avalanche of uncomfortable feelings that come up as we bring a project to completion… is this good enough, am I good enough, will it “work” to bring me what I was hoping to get out of it, will this all blow up on my face, will it mean that I am a failure???? Better to just circle around it a lot of different ideas and not finish anything than face all of that!
So what do I want to do with this today?
I do want to deal with the flutter of ideas that are creating the fog around me.
How do I want to deal with them?
Journaling! I want to draw out this flutter of ideas around my head.
These are other things that already are happening in my life/business, and other ideas of things that I want to have happen. But a lot of these things have SO MANY QUESTIONS. Having so many un-answered questions that leaves them buzzing. If I could give this a few hours to:
- answer a few questions if there are easily answerable questions in this flurry of ideas, which I think there are
- get a clear list of “these are the questions I am sitting with without rushing to answers”
- get a clear list of “these are the ideas that are waiting for me to finish this project”
Then I think the space around my head would be clear so I could get to work?
So much of building the path to our dreams includes creating and holding space for ourselves to get in there and do this work.
It's so deeply wildly incredibly brave to do this work.
So even when the process looks like a total mess, like mine does this week.... that's not a reflection on us, as the dreamer!
It's a reflection of how brave it is to have a dream, hold onto it, and take steps towards it.
