Making changes along the way

Last week I said I was going to start sharing the book I am writing, as I go. I said I would post it on my social media and blog.

I did that last week, I did two posts and both times I wasn’t happy with the process of putting it on my blog.

Posting on Instagram felt great. I have a bunch of drafts ready to go in there, and the process of getting those drafts ready felt flowy and fun. Posting the drafts felt great.

But then going over to my blog, to share the same thing there, didn’t feel great. My body felt heavy. The work felt annoying. Even though it was the same work! Which is fascinating to me.

So I sat with that feeling and asked “Is this a sign I shouldn’t do this? Not share these things on my blog?”

And in the grand scheme of things, who even cares?

But, I care. I wanted to share it on my blog to have it on MY website and not just out in the social media ethers. And I always like to do what I said I would do, and I said I would do this.

But when I check in with how this feels in my body, my body does not care about either of these things. It cares about how uncomfortable it has been to get these blogs together, and how much it would rather be doing other things. It’s just giving a big NO.

That was the first post. I decided to try again for the second post, and see how that went. It went the same, and now here I am.

My head says: OMG this takes like two minutes, just do it. In all the work you’ve done to build your business this is hardly the most annoying thing! And you always ENJOYED doing even the annoying admin tasks because you’re doing it in service to your work! Where’s that attitude now?

I say: I don’t appreciate the attitude or you trying to boss me into doing it, but that is a good question. Why don’t I want to do this in service to this project?

The thing about approaching Creative Dreaming as a PRACTICE is that there is space to explore all of this, there is space for ALL thoughts and feelings.

You don’t just push through and focus on the outer work and getting things done, making visible progress. You make space to find YOUR way of creating YOUR path.

You try your ideas to find out how they fit and work for you!

This idea is not working for me.

If I stop doing it, that’s not a “I tried to do it, got uncomfortable, and gave up, and I am sure I will never get my dream now” kind of thing.

If I stop doing it, it’s a “I tried my idea, I processed my thoughts and feelings about it, I listened to my intuition and the soul of my dream, together we learned from these steps I took and used that learning to map out different steps to try next” kind of thing.

And THAT is how you make the magic happen.

THAT is how you practice your way there.

So, when I do all of this, here is the next idea that emerges:

I’m going to stop posting the little-book-blurbs-in process on my blog. I will keep posting them on Instagram. On my blog, I will write about the process of writing the book.

Write about the writing!

This feels curious and inspiring. My body feels open, light and sparkly. No part of me is against this idea. The soul of my dream is cheering for it.

So this is what I’ll do next.

And maybe I’ll do this two times and be all “oh wow this sucks” again or maybe this will be a really great thing for me. The outcome of any particular step doesn’t matter because I know I will stay in the process long enough to get to where I want to go.

It’s so much easier to stay in the process when you embrace and make space for all feelings and reactions. And it’s kind of ironic that pushing yourself to get to the finish line often pushes the finish line to far away it gets impossible to get there.

PS: I just posted the next blurb.

Making changes along the way
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