I wanted to have a conversation with the part of me who loves to “get up and go”
I am deep in process with figuring out the structures, habits + routines (link to the Stature Habits Routes class in the membership) that will work best for me at this time. The self care, the support for my creative process, the structures that keep my life feeling manageable in a world that feels less stable every day and help me feel steady enough to show up for the change I want to see in the world.
For a while, I thought I could just take some time to really drill down on this and figure it all out. Ha! At this point I am accepting that this is a process. And that I am doing a lot of these things, and I will keep making little changes as I go.
Last night I said to myself: I need to get really serious about first-thing-in-the-morning-fresh-air-and-exercise.
This is something I normally do well but life changes and health issues combined with some intense climate grief about the ways our weather is changing, on top of actual wildfires and dust storms, etc, which do make harder to be out there. But this morning I did it - 40 minute walk starting around 7:45 am, and since this is a holiday Monday, there wasn’t much traffic and it was really lovely. Normally I’d like to be out earlier to miss the morning traffic.
And I did get up earlier, but I just stayed in bed. So this is where the part of me who loves to get up and go is going to jump in. On my walk I realized I needed a talk with her, and it feels like she’s been waiting to talk to me, so here goes.
OMG GIRL we know that we can’t just “stay in bed”, that can ruin the whole day! Once you’re up, get up, and get moving. Get outside. enjoy the world. Give your brain that delicious early morning time of walking or cycling outside. The way you’ve been missing “feeling like yourself”????!?!?!?! That’s because you’re not doing this!!!!
OK, I love your enthusiasm AND I need you to acknowledge the health problems I’ve been facing. It’s not as simple as you are making it out to be.
She sits down right in front of me and says: Listen, I do know how hard it’s been. I am not saying that an early morning walk will cure you. I am saying it will give you space to find your joy in the way it used to. I get that it won’t change your whole life, but you have been missing how you felt when you were doing this every day and you CAN find smaller/simpler ways to do it, way that fit with your life now.
Oh, OK. I feel seen and understood and supported.
So there is this thing where people who find a thing easy to do will be all shouty about “JUST DO IT! IT WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER!!!” and not acknowledge all the ways that this thing isn’t easy for everyone.
Those people may also create courses or sell products to help you do it, and that stuff may not work for you if this thing is just harder for you than it is for them, and then when those things don’t work you may end up feeling like YOU failed because they keep insisting that their system works and if you didn’t get results then you weren’t committed enough, or whatever. There was so much of that happening in the “live your best life” industry and then the ways it’s collided with the “get super rich online” industry in the last 10 years it’s all gotten NUTS.
(This is why I include tools and support specifically for when you struggle with my classes, I don’t want to leave people behind like that and it’s never your fault when it’s hard to show up, it just means you need more, or different, support. Members please email me any time you need more help! I am here.)
So right now I am seeing that I have such a huge aversion to this whole thing that I have been not wanting to listen to my inner self who has that kind of vibe about “get up and go”.
I felt like she would minimize my struggles, not get how hard this is for me right now, and say “It’s easy, you just make the decision to do it”.
Hand on heart and deep breath for all the times I was in circles where people did treat each other that way when they struggled. I feel like the early new thought/new age/self help movement was trying so hard, but just had so many things so wrong.
Stepping back for a moment to notice all the ways that in our culture that shame is used to try to coerce people to “do better” and how ineffective it is on top of how cruel it is.
Back to my situation which feels like it is shifting so fast I can’t quite hold onto it which is so good.
This version of me, who was younger and lived in a simpler world, had her struggles too and learned about how much the early morning “get out of the house and get exercise” helped shift her whole day. So she had systems in place to help her do it - like she would check the weather and plan her outfit/layers the night before and leave that outfit out so she would see it when she woke up. Since she was going to a park or coffee shop to work or journal, she would have her bag packed and her project picked out to work on. She didn’t bring her phone into the bedroom so laying in bed and looking at her phone wasn’t an option (which is the one I still usually do).
So, me thinking to myself “Oh I should go for a walk tomorrow” and not doing any of those things really doesn’t create the same structure and support for actually following through.
BUT she doesn’t want to shame me about that, she wants to help me find ways to do this because of how good it will be for me to be inside the routine of it. Once a thing is a routine it’s so much easier to hold.
She gives me a hug and says “No I really don’t want to shame you. I understand that this was much easier for me to do than it is for you, even though it also wasn’t always easy for me.”
True, I remember that. It’s just that you had this DETERMINATION that I don’t seem to have and I wish I did.
GIRLLLLL! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!??! I had the determination to build the thing - you HAVE it. You don’t need to stay determined.
Oh.
WHOA.
WHHHOOOOAAAA.
I’ve been feeling like I am failing or wrong somehow for not feeling that determination and drive. I have so much grief that I am not still that person.
I see it now.
Those things were never meant to be long term.
In fact, holding onto them - they become toxic. Look at the world! Look at the people who can never get enough.
And it’s so interesting because I HAVE been thinking about determination isn’t the best fuel for long term work with your dreams, though having it in the mix can be so helpful… but I was thinking about that in general and not applying it to myself.
Oh WOW. WHOA! I can make peace with not being super determined.
Because without being super determined as a big part of the fuel moving me forward, what do I have?
LOVE, so much love for the people I work with and their dreams and all the ways their dreams impact the world and being in the process and inviting new people in to this magic
DEVOTION to tending to what I have built.
ENTHUSIASM to keep creating and growing.
I can think of lots of other things too but these feel like the main ingredients.
Wow.
I see how I was coming at this “how do I get my “get up and go” back” problem from the place that I AM DOING THIS WRONG and I AM FAILING TO FOLLOW THROUGH and HOW DO I FIX MYSELF???
And now it’s like… girl you have graduated to the next level. You no longer have that determination pushing you. So you GET TO create new ways to help yourself do the things that help.
And if I may remind you/me - look at how well you do with meal prepping! You know that you need whole foods, mostly beans, veggies and protein, made into soups/salads/wraps/etc, ready to go in the fridge and so you ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO HAVE THEM THERE. You’ve learned so much about cooking, you make amazing food from scratch. This part of you who keeps the meal prep going… this part of you can also get the morning walks/bikes going.
And if I may remind myself some more.. you have been pretty good at getting out for exercise, just not daily like you used to because so much about your life and routines have changed - that makes sense! Now you’re in a place where new routines can start to take root, so let’s not feel like we’re starting from scratch??
OK all of the heaviness I was feeling about this is gone. I have gassed myself up!
And starting today I promise myself: I won’t end the day without a plan for tomorrow, in terms of getting outside to get exercise. That plan will include a look at the weather and my schedule and a plan for an outfit - and I like the way I used to have my clothes out, so I saw them right away - like an invitation to get outside because it’s good for my brain.
I always forget about this, but I just remembered my SELF CARE PLANNER!!!!! This is the perfect thing to use. I just printed it out and am committing to use it for 8 weeks. It’s not a part of the membership - you can get it here.
Inside the membership, we have the class on Creating Self Care Protocols to support yourself in being the version of you who can do your dream
Where do you want to be at the end of 2026?
Let's make a plan that gets you there - WITHOUT overwhelm or over-working. WITH self care and soul.
Spring Cleaning for your Dreams is Live on Zoom. May 27. 1:00 pm Central - replay provided.
Members can get the call details here.
AND! There's an option to do this WITHOUT signing up for the membership subscription!
If you're NOT a member: Get the details + sign up for Spring Cleaning for your Creative Dreams here.
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