On Fridays I do these "Dream Status Report" prompts to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path.

There are journaling sheets for doing this! These are available for everyone, not just membership members. Download them here.

This is so embarrassing.

I keep coming here on Fridays, doing these prompts, and coming to the same conclusion.

I keep thinking I should just GET IT ALREADY and not need to keep giving myself the same advice.

This frustration with the process is not helpful but it is real.

On the New Moon call in the meditation I came face to face with this OCEAN OF FEAR that I have about my dream.

I feel like I activated the ocean of fear but I know that's not what happened... I just finally looked it in the eye.

It FEELS so big because I have walked right up to it.

THIS IS WHAT INTENTION SETTING DOES.

It invites clarity about the our inner and outer stucks and obstacles.

It creates space for us to see these things for what they are, to process our feelings about them, and ultimately to find our way THROUGH them.

I'm just at the part where I am really/finally noticing how BIG and DEEP these fears are - ocean really is the right metaphor.

I have so much understanding and experience with this. That doesn't seem to help make it feel any less scary.

One neat thing that came out of the Dream Status Report Prompts this morning:

There is the part of me who is afraid of the fear.

And then there is this part of me who is afraid that I can't handle the fear. Like, this is a separate part.

Most of the time, I have the fear, the part of me who is terrified... and also the part of me who knows I'll get through it. This is just something I have from all these years of doing this work. And this is something I offer to people in the membership... I know you'll get through it too, as long as you keep showing up.

Well, that part of me, for this situation, was just gone.

Isn't that weird?

I'm just sitting with how weird this feels. Where did this part of me who trusts myself GO? Why did it leave NOW? This is hardly the scariest thing I've ever done.

And then when I sit with that it's like... no, she's here. She's a mermaid swimming on the other side of this huge wave I am facing down.

Oh. This is how it feels to be healing, growing and creating in this dystopian world.

Everything feels heightened. So the part of me who trust the process FEELS 100% gone when she's actually just on the other side of this wave.

Every time I sit with how intense everything feels right now I come to the same answer... slow down. Give yourself more space to process.

So, as I said in the beginning, I got the same advice from doing these prompts as I usually do:

My dreams need more ATTENTION from me.

Which seems ridiculous because I literally turned them into JOB!!!!

But it's also 100% true.

It's completely reasonable that I have been getting lost in distractions. It's like all summer I've been in this balancing act of being present and distracting myself.

And I can be embarrassed that I still haven't found balance.

Or I can keep showing up and working on it.

Honestly, this being embarassed feels like maybe another level of distraction?

Does it matter how many times my dreams have to say HEY PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!?

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