Goodbye ABCcreativity

I am sharing a photo on my blog every day for the month of August, as a part of Susannah Conway?s August Break.? A little late with today’s photo because my! blog! was! broken! And since you are seeing this now you know that my! blog! is! fixed! And not just fixed but moved to its new home: www.creativedreamincubator.com

I have had abccreativity.com for… I’m not sure how long!? I’m guessing 7 years.

I remember that I didn’t know what url to pick.? I discussed it with my friends at SARK‘s message board (which recently closed down) and my amazing friend Knoxy suggested ABCcreativity based on my username at the SARK forum. And we played with how I could change the meanings of the A, B and C.? Like: Astounding Beautific Courageous Creativity and stuff like that.? It felt good, it felt like a FIT.

At that time, I was doing live workshops and in-person spiritual counseling.

I had been doing my creativity workshops for a while, and wanted to get a website where I could post the dates of upcoming events. (I also wanted to start blogging and I did start a blog, and then deleted the whole thing later because it was embarrassing.) At that time I had a part time job and was over-the-moon-blissed-out that I had time and space and money for all the things I wanted to do.? (This was after many years of being a starving artist) I was not thinking about online workshops or leaving my part time job.? I was very happy right where I was. And that’s where things stayed for a few years. This post tells the story of when I realised that it was time to let my real work get bigger and let go of my day job and how I made that transition in 6 months. That was just over 2 years ago. I have grown exponentially in that time.? I know more now, so much more!?? About business and about vulnerability and courage and about how my real work is being who I am and living what I teach, not teaching what I teach.

I have grown exponentially and ABCcreativity doesn’t fit me anymore.

It hasn’t fit for some time.? When I see people refer to me online as Andrea from ABCcreativity I cringe a little because it feels off. But I didn’t know what to do about it. And now I do.

So, goodbye ABCcreativity. You have served me well, so well!

You were there when you were just 1 page announcing workshop dates and locations, you were there for my first (failed!) blog, you were there when I started to experiment with bringing my live workshops online and you were there when I decided to do this, for real, as my full time gig. You’ve had about a zillion makeovers.? And tens of thousands of visitors from all over the world. Thank you, ABCcreativity.com? I could not have done this without you. And I’m not leaving you, you’re coming with me! Starting a new blog would have been easy.? Moving you, with your massive files of juicy content, is why this move was difficult, that’s why I broke my blog trying to move you. AND IT’S WORTH IT. xo Andrea PS: GREAT BIG THANK YOU TO Wendy for fixing my blog and getting it settled into its new home.

Journal Picnic

I am sharing a photo on my blog every day for the month of August, as a part of Susannah Conway?s August Break.

Today I needed some quiet space amidst the excitement of moving to my new site and taking some new steps in my business and just feeling so OMGYAYOMGYAYOMGYAYack! about it all.


Creative Dream TV: Why it’s so hard to get started + what to do about it

The reason why you think you’re not getting started is not (usually) the real reason. Understanding why it’s so hard to get started helps you find a way around the obstacle.

 

DESIRE Is Your SOUL Speaking To You

Desire is how your soul guides you along the path to your purpose.

I made it for my Advanced Creative Badasses in May 2012, when we were exploring Desire as our theme-of-the-month.

Then I decided to share it here because the themes and ideas are really important.? The better your relationship with Desire is, the easier it is to bring your dreams to life.

(Sorry about the funny camera angles… I didn’t notice that the camera slipped.)

 

If you're ready to make your dream real, I am here to help.  Click here for my Creative Dream Incubator.

Your Infinite Creative Potential (and how it means that ALL of your Creative Dreams are possible)

Infinite creative potential is what you have and it’s what you are.

When you really get this – everything changes.


Photos, Magics + Lessons Learned in my first year as a Creative Entrepreneur.

I was a little nervous about doing a year-end-review-type-thing because 2011 was so magic I worried my head would explode if I brought all of these memories together at once.

But here I am.? With head intact.

January:

I had just come back from an amazing week by the sea in La Jolla, California. Feeling refreshed and refueled and filled up and READY.

me on the beach in la jolla

I had just quit my part time job to do magic, creativity and love full time.

January 3, 2011 was the day I would have gone back to work after the holidays but instead that was the day I blew my previous record for most money earned in a day by announcing a sale on Creative Dream Coaching.

Nice way to start a new year!

Lesson Learned: Listen to your Creative Dream Fairy. Especially when she says “Now is the time, yes this will work. Do it!!”

My plan was to introduce the Creative Dream Incubator e-Course that month, as I had already been working on it for what felt like forever (starting several years ago with my in-person versions of the course).? But I realised early on that even with all of the preparations I’d done -it was not ready and I was not ready and I changed the date to March.

February + March:

I spent 6 weeks re-working the whole course and turning it into pure magic.? And then I welcomed the first Dreamers into the Incubator.

Manifestation. Magic. Miracles.

Lesson Learned: Honour your creative rhythm, listen to your intuition, trust your heart. Go slow when you need to go slow.? It’s ok to change the dates.
I want to stay here all day

I was starting to feel more comfortable in my new role as a full time creative entrepreneur and realised that I needed some new tools to do this new job properly.

First new tool: iPhone.? Shortly after I discovered and fell in love with Instagram.

Wallhanging

April + May:

Creative Collaboration.

Participated in the Wish Studio’s WishBIG e-Camp and Jamie Ridler’s Sparkles (bring your creativity to life in 5 minutes a day!).

And I opened up the Creative Dream Incubator again.

My favourite tree, the Japanese plum tree in my back yard, bloomed.
Oh I love this tree.

One day I went for a fairy walk in this fairy park.

Fairy forest magic

On the way home, my Creative Dream Fairy tapped me on the shoulder and suggested I take a different route.

We drove past a construction site that caught my eye as my Creative Dream Fairy whispered “There it is. The Ultimate Creative Magic Headquarters.” but I was all “Dude! I already have a Creative Magic Headquarters that I love! And this is bound to be too expensive! And I can’t MOVE, not NOW!?”

June + July:

June was my biggest month income wise. Also the month I spent the least time “working” and the most time exploring my inner worlds.

Lesson Learned: Those 2 things are more directly related than I thought they could be.

I also made a promise to myself to go to the beach as often as possible over the summer.

Lesson Learned: Rejuvenation really is just as important as everything else.? Without it, I can’t do my best work.? The parts of me that say I have to “earn” R+R are just plain wrong.

And I created my Creative Genius Planning Sessions.

Monday morning Creative Genius planning session.

Creativity. Vision. Magic.

These have turned into my weekly dose of Creative Dream Jet Fuel.

I met with the developer of the Ultimate Creative Magic Headquarters. Sure enough, it was everything I wished my house was. A big open 2 story loft with 18′ ceilings, huge windows, heated polished concrete floors, a little park outside with a tiny bridge that leads to my door. I couldn’t have come up with a more perfect design myself.

I discussed selling my house with my Real Estate Agent and sure enough, my house could sell for more than the asking price on the condo.

Lesson Learned: You are more ready for the BIG dream than you know you are.

I ran my Creative Journal Magic e-Course in June and it was super popular, super magic and super fun.

I stopped selling my old Meditation Kits and started selling the new Magic Potions (follow the link for a free sample).

It's OK
There is creative magic in you.

I created a new kit called Dream Spark which was in the 21 Secrets Workshop at the Dirty Footprints Studio (and will be available as a kit in the Creative Magic Academy in January).

Somewhere in there I also re-designed the Create a Map That Leads to your Dream Creativity Kit.

It was already an amazing tool for bringing dreams to life but I made it about 14X more awesome.? I added a second workbook and?a series of 14 audio sessions, including guided meditations to activate your Creative Spirit, and help you attune to the subtle signals and synchronicities that the universe is serving up, to help your Dream come true (53.2 minutes in total, with lots of breather space in between for working on your map).

And I kept it the same price!? Magic!

Lesson Learned: I can accomplish so much more than I knew!

One of the funny things about being self employed is that I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my hair.

In July I started to really experiment.
Trying to pick my new haircolour. So many to choose from!
Pink hair in pink room.Purple hair.
More pink hair (starting to get used to it)Re-Bleaching.

August:

This is where ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE

I had a lot of meetings with the developer of the Ultimate Creative Magic Headquarters and finally in August we nailed down an agreement. Each time I spoke to him he had a different projected completion date.? My intuition said to sell my house right away.

And I discovered my house was not really market-ready. You know all those little things you just learn to live with?? They become very visible when you put your house on the market!

I hired a legion of helpers and my mom came over every day for a week and we whipped the house into shape. The house sold in under 2 weeks for a little over the asking price.
It's official!

And in the process I got rid of 1/2 of my things.? At the time it was kind of arduous to go through everything and haul so much stuff away but at this point I AM SO GRATEFUL TO ME FROM THEN FOR DOING ALL OF THAT.

Freedom. Flow. Simplicity.

And I created the Creative Magic Academy,? a whole new website for my creative courses, including private online space for classes, and a new affiliate program.

And I ran a session of the Rainbow~licious Creative Healing Circle (because, hello! I needed it! August was one busy month!)
Meanwhile, my amazing hollyhocks bloomed.
Hello hollyhock!  My hollyhock fence is in bloom. Yay!

September:

I said goodbye to my dear sparkly house on Sept 1.

The shade of pink that makes me smile. (my bathroom wall)
Messy messy art table.
Bliss room.
Bliss room.
Bathroom door mural.
Happy kitchen.
Dressing room.
Welcome.
Beautiful day in my garden.

And I moved into a tent.

Yes, a tent. In my parent’s back yard.

My new home. I slept so great last night!

And I loved it. And I slept better than I’ve ever slept.

I did yoga under the stars before bed. I breathed fresh air all night long. I had a front row seat for thunderstorms while staying cozy warm with my giant pile of duvets and pillows.

Lesson Learned: Once again, listen to intuition no matter how crazy it sounds!

And, from my tent in my parent’s back yard, I ran a very special one-time-only session of the Creative Dream Incubator – the Creative Business Incubator.

It wasn’t just a course – it was a cross between a course and group coaching with me answering all questions in depth depth depth on video every week. We explored possibility and magic and being true to yourself while building a profitable business.

It was magic.

Lesson Learned: I love small, advanced, specialized courses and want to explore more ways of doing this kind of thing.

October + November:

I took my Creative Journal Magic e-Course and turned it into a kit. I did this for 2 reasons:

1. This is good good good awesomely good stuff! I wanted to make it more accessible for people don’t have to wait for the next course to start.
2. This is all the basic stuff. As I learned in September, I want my classes to be more advanced and specialized. Turning this class into a kit, it can be a prerequisite so I can focus on creating the advanced specialized classes.

Which is what I did next: Give Your Inner Critic a New Job

Advanced Specialized Creative Magics.

That classroom is still open and miracles are still happening and I am in love with it.

[Actually: I am in love with it pretty much sums up this year.]

At the end of October and beginning of November I was in Portland, Oregon for a life changing retreat/course with Havi Brooks.
Fall walk
The Grilled Cheese bus
In the playground
Creative superhero

I got back from Portland and spent a day working with Alexandra Franzen, brilliant wordsmith, to clarify my focus and re-write my website. Which is about a lot more than re-writing my website, of course.

It was about taking all of the things I have learned and transformed this year and pouring it into how I present myself and my work.

Lessons Learned: There are Brilliant People out there who can help. Let them. Take courses. Hire coaches and helper-people. It makes a big difference.

December:

By late fall, I’d earned the money I wanted to earn this year with my business. So I was kind of free to try new things.

Like Free! Tele! Classes!

I was also free to just spend some quality time with me and work on ways of integrating everything I’d just learned in Portland.? That retreat with Havi really changed things for me.

I am certified and accredited in several different modalities of healing, transformation and manifestation.? I have attended a LOT of courses, workshops and retreats. And I have never seen anything that is anything like what Havi did.

It’s like it took everything I knew and put it into a snowglobe. In the snowglobe, everything I knew turned into glitter. Turn it upside down and shake it good. Put it back down and look! There is a tiny magic village in there that didn’t exist before.

That tiny magic village is made up of what I already knew. And it contains everything I do.

But it’s also totally different.? And totally new!

As I keep saying to my friends “This is the best thing I’ve ever learned!”? And it’s not because of what it is, it’s because of what it is inspiring me to do and how it is inspiring me to live, and to be.

Exciting Changes Ahead.

In December I opened registration for the January session of the Creative Dream Incubator (I only plan to run this once in 2012).

And I started creating a whole new structure for how I do my work. I’m taking a lot of Alexandra’s brilliant ideas and weaving them into the 2012 Creative Magic Academy Calendar.

THINGS I WANT TO DO DIFFERENTLY IN 2012:

Early in 2011 I was doing some online advertising. I haven’t done it in some time and don’t plan to do any advertising in 2012. I don’t want to focus on finding new people. I want to focus on making more magic.

Over the course of the year I kept experimenting with my Creativity 101 e-course. I plan to stop doing that. I love Creativity 101 and I love all of the emails I get about how much it has helped people. I want that material to stay free and available, and it is, right here. And I want to focus my creative energy on the more advanced magic stuff in my paid courses.

As part of that shift in Creativity 101, I brought my email list and blog subscriptions together. This is step 1. Step 2 starts in January with a shift in my blog.

I’ll still share my own stories and experiences but I’ll also have much more of a structure, with monthly themes and more teaching posts that go with our monthly tele-classes. This makes the blog a much bigger part of the Creative Magic Academy. That also plays into my desire to do more advanced magic stuff in my courses. If you’re reading the blog you’re getting the basics and when you sign for a class you’re ready for Big Magic.

I’m fooling around with my schedule and really listening to what I learned in June of this year when I made way more money by spending way more time working in my internal world, than in the external world. I’m building tools and creating practices that help with this, and at the same time putting together an Advanced Creative Dreaming/Creative Super Hero/Creative Badass course where I share these tools.

THINGS I WANT TO DO THE SAME IN 2012:

I love how many kits/courses I created this year. I’d be very happy to be as productive in 2012.

I love the relationships I’ve developed with my inner critics, inner fears and various sad scared selves. In 2011 I gave these relationships much more attention and love than I ever have before. I want to continue my creative practices that allows me to engage with all parts of me with love and gentleness and permission and space.

Creative Journaling The Big But

I love the way I have become comfortable sharing honestly and openly where I’m at. More openness and real true stories!

I love the way I made big, life-changing decisions based on: 1. intuitive guidance and 2. bringing myself into greater alignment and integrity with what I know to be important (creativity, magic, freedom, healing, transformation and possibility). Even when these decisions don’t seem “practical” (like selling my duplex and giving up my rental income) they are so right (practical is nowhere on my list of things that are important).

Early on my in 2011 I created a map leading to the income I wanted. I played with this map for a few months and eventually painted over everything with blue waves representing flow. I wrote on the waves “New Financial Plan = Trust”. I want to continue to place my trust in trust.

Working outside on beautiful days. Yes! More!
Best office ever

Oh yes. That's the ticket.

Creative Journaling is Magic. The more I do it the magic-er it gets.? So lots more Magic Creative Journaling for me in 2012.
Today's Journaling.

From today's blog post.

This year has been one heck of an amazing ride.

Thanks so much for being here with me.

I promise – next? year is going to be even better.

Thank you elephant. ( today's success card)

Your dream is just the right size.

Everyone secretly worries that their dream is too wacky, too bold, too ambitious, too expensive, too [insert fear-triggered, self-created obstacle here].

I?ve been studying & teaching the art of wish-fulfillment for fifteen years, and I?ve got the BEST news:

Everyone is wrong!

Unless your dream involves a pet unicorn, the ability to breathe underwater, or a new planet of your very own (and a moon to go with it), it IS possible.

And the best time to start making it REAL is right now.

Inner Critics are sneaky and make things seem more complicated than they really are.

Eight months ago I received a letter about my pension plan at my former job.? More of a package than a letter, with a ton of stuff to read through and a decision to make about what to do with my pension money now that I am no longer contributing to the pension plan.

I looked at it at the time and it started to wake up too many inner critics and fear goblins so I noted that there was no deadline on it – and just filed it away.

And in the eight months since – every time I thought about dealing with it, my inner critics and fear goblins got so riled up I just put it aside again.

They had a lot of stories about how complicated and time consuming and stressful and annoying it would all be.

About how I’d probably have to go down to their office and explain my situation to someone.

Which is the Absolute Last Thing I want to do.

Can you see it?

Hello, Pension Planner Person.? I quit my solid good paying nice job to play with glitter and sell magic on the internet. And no, I don’t want to stay in this pension plan.? I have magic on my side!

So, yeah, lots of things to avoid and not want to deal with there.

Because I was believing the story that my inner critic was telling me.

About how I don’t fit in and no one will understand me.

And how my financial decisions are ridiculous.

Etc, etc, etc.

So I stayed away from the whole thing and over time, as the past eight months went by, the stories became more and more real.

And finally this week I decided to make it a priority and do whatever I had to do to get this settled.? I did remember somewhere there that some money was going to come to me when I sorted this out.? And the money would be handy right now as move into my Dream Loft.

So I quieted my inner critic and opened up the package and this time read it in detail.

Oh.

Not what I expected AT ALL.

Basically, I can take my money out whenever I want or I can leave it in and draw a pension when I retire.? That part is all cool.? I don’t have to make any life-long decisions right now.

And there’s some extra money, money that is not a part of the plan and is actually mine and needs to come back to me at some point.

So the reason why they wanted a response from me is just to send me money.

Money that would more than pay for the really super cute appliances I’ve been thinking about getting for my new place.

It took 5 minutes.? All I had to do was fill in the form and send it back.

And now I wait for my cheque while deciding which colour I want for my cute new fridge.

Inner Critics are sneaky and make things seem more complicated than they really are

They hold us back in ways that are so hidden we can’t even see that we are being held back.

Things look so hard but really they aren’t.

All these things you think you can’t do – you can do them.

You just have to stop believing the stories your inner critic is telling you.? And then all sorts of things become possible.

And then, you can take it a step further by getting your inner critic on your side.? And then the real magic can start.

Anyone want to buy an outlandishly colourful house?

Because mine is going on the market!

Yay!

It’s all happening!

It’s all happening very quickly.

And I am so excited.? Even though I have loved living here so much.

bedroom
deep blue sleepy bedroom

hollyhock fence
hollyhock fence

wild garden
wild garden

purple hallway
purple hallway

office
office

me and a door mural (there are three door murals)
me and a door mural (there are three door murals)

bliss room
bliss room

art room
art room

bliss room
bliss room

hallway
hallway

I just realised I have no photos of my superfun violet dressing/sewing room, or my yellow and turquoise hula-girl kitchen.

Will have to remedy that before I leave.

Please keep your fingers crossed that it sells quickly!

Me Who Rests vs Me Who Leaps Ahead

Every Monday morning I take my business out for coffee with this Creative Genius Planning Session tool that I made.

This tool has served me well.? Very well.

It means for the rest of the week I can just dive into what feels most inspiring in the moment.

Everything keeps flowing towards more of what I want and love because I have this Genius Plan.

But this Monday Morning was different.

This morning I was really short on energy.? I had one post-yoga bubble of sunshiny energy and then it just kind of faded away.? And by the time I got to the coffee shop for my Monday Morning Creative Genius Planning Session I needed a Very Large Latte just to get started.

monday morning creative genius planning session
Monday Morning Creative Genius Planning Session + Giant Latte

And here’s the thing.

This morning I’m in a low energy kind of space.? And it feels like I need some quiet time.

And the intuitive messages I am getting from my business are that it needs some space.? To just be.

But I have this thing I’m working on.

This thing I am totally excited about and inspired about.

This Thing I Want To Share With You, Like, Right Now.

I’m not good at holding things in.? Or waiting.? When I’m inspired – I leap.

So here I am at my Monday Morning Creative Genius Planning Session:

Inspired and wanting to leap

Also tired and wanting to rest.

This is a pretty common thing for me.

There is a part of me that is pretty much always excited about something and wanting to move forward with it.

There is a part of me that pays attention to and honours the natural cycle of life and wants to rest when it’s time to rest, play when it’s time to play and work when it’s time to work.

So here is what happened when these two parts collided this morning:

(MWR = me who rests.? MWLA = me who leaps ahead)

MWLA: I’m going to put this sparkly new exciting thing out there next week, so this week we have to do all of these things to get it ready.? Plus, of course, we want to re-write all of week four for the Creative Journal Magic e-Course.

MWR: Agreed on week four for the Creative Journal Magic e-Course.? Not a re-write but edit and make a lot of changes.? That’s really the only focus for this week.? That other thing – that has to wait.? Working on that now is not in keeping with the energy of where we’re all at this week.

MWLA: But I want to do it!

MWR: We all want to do it!? How about we do it one week later though?

MWLA: A WHOLE WEEK?? YOU WANT ME TO WAIT A WHOLE WEEK?? ARRRRRGGGGHHH? NOOOOO!

MWR: What is really so bad about waiting?

MWLA: I hate waiting.? I hate resting.? I want to DO.? I made this amazing thing!? I want to share it!? OMG LET ME SHARE IT!!!!!

MWR: Yes but what about sharing it one week later?? What would actually happen if you waited one week?

MWLA: I’d have to rest this week.

MWR: And?

MWLA: Oh.? I guess I want to leap ahead because it’s more comfortable than slowing down and being present with what is.? Mmmmmmmmm.? Something here scares me.? And if I slow down it’s bound to catch up with me.

MWR: What do you think that could be?

MWLA: The usual stuff.? What if everything falls apart.? What if people don’t like me.? Blah blah blah.? I’m kind of tired of all that bullshit and I’d like to just carry on.

MWR: See, I think carrying on kind of magnifies everything.? Ignoring fears does not transform them.? It leaves them there, beneath the surface, where they can grow and wreak havoc.

MWLA: I know you’re right but I wish you weren’t.

MWR: Remember what happened earlier this month?

MWLA: Deliberately stopping and being with all of that annoying bullshit actually propelled us forward, closer into what we want.? I thought that was a one time thing, I didn’t agree to doing that all the time.

MWR: Not all the time. Only when it’s needed.

MWLA:? Arrrgh!? Do you know how annoying you are?? Only when it’s needed?? Who decides?

MWR: I think you can feel it too, that it is needed.? If it wasn’t you’d have the energy you need to go ahead and do what you want to do.? Also what about trusting in divine timing?? When has anything good ever come out of pushing ahead and doing things on your own terms instead of being in the flow?

MWLA: It could happen one of these times!? If I stop pushing.? OMG.? If I stop pushing and leaping ahead WE WILL STAGNATE.

MWR: So resting = stagnation?

MWLA: I guess not always.? But too much resting is definite stagnation.

MWR: Do you really think we are anywhere near stagnation?

MWLA: It’s just that I have all of these dreams and things I want and how will I ever get them all by resting?

MWR: How will you ever enjoy them all by not resting?

MWLA: You are so annoying!

MWR: I understand how important your creative dreams are to you.? They’re important for me too.

MWLA: We’re on the same page?? We want the same thing??? I always forget that part.? I always think you are like the grown up trying to keep me doing “The Right Thing” and keep me from having fun.

MWR: No. I don’t want to keep you from having fun.? And I don’t want to make you do stuff you don’t want to do.? But I do want to slow down and challenge your assumptions about constantly leaping ahead.? I want to be more rooted in purpose in a broader sense than you sometimes see.? We simply cannot always leap ahead just like we cannot always rest.? I have no interest in staying in the same place.? I have on interest in not making all of our dreams real.

MWLA: It’s like I’m the motor and you’re the steering wheel.

MWR: Yes!? I appreciate how your energy and enthusiasm propels us forward when that’s the right thing to do.

MWLA: And I appreciate how you’re looking out for the bigger picture and guiding us along.? We are doing amazing.? I’m sorry I make it so hard for you.? I’m just SO EXCITED, you know?

MWR: I do know.? And I’m excited too.

So it looks like I’m going to move slower than I want to this week.

It’s 11am.? Usually Monday mornings are full of action here in the Creative Magic Art Room.? But this Monday morning – all I can think about is taking a nap.


International Gremlin Treaty of 2011

Oh my goodness.

Last week we started looking at our inner saboteur in the Creative Journal Magic e-Course.

Meeting our gremlins.? Being compassionate and kind and strong.? Letting them be there, but not letting them be in our way.

And one of the Creative Geniuses in the class, the always lovely Faerian, took the assignment and turned it into a really beautiful thing.

She turned it into the International Gremlin Treaty of 2011.

Seriously! Go read her blog post about it right now: International Gremlin Treaty of 2011.

It’s amazing and inspiring.

And that’s why I keep working on my stuff.

So that I can bring more magic to the world.

So magic things like the gremlin treaty can happen.

I’m really glad I shared what I was going through last week, with wanting this course to be bigger.

The support, ideas and encouragement in the comments was awesome.

And putting it all out there was so liberating.

On Friday afternoon I decided I could allow 30 more people into the class.

As of this morning there are 17 spots left.

New people have been coming in.? More creative interesting smart magical amazing people!? Yay.

But even YAY-er – It doesn’t matter to me if the spots get all filled up or not.

I’m at peace with this.

I feel like I went through some kind of right of passage.

Like something was re-arranged on the inside.

I feel like I took another significant step away from my old life, the one where I had a job.? I feel a lot more grounded in who I am now, a free creative being.

A free creative being who gets to explore what is happening inside of her and make decisions for her life, and her business, based on that.

I feel a lot more sure about what I am doing.

When I left my job I had a really good business plan.

I thought I needed that.? I own a house and a car and have certain habits (like Sephora, Lush and spa days) that I don’t want to give up.

(The last time I was self employed as a creative person I rented a small apartment, took the bus and was a champion at not spending any “unnecessary” money)

So, I thought, I am going to do this right.? With a good solid plan.

The plan made me feel safe.

Which was a really big important job, considering I was stepping out into the unknown.

But the plan is all about the outside stuff.

And the magic is all about the inside stuff.

So the plan is kind of my security blanket.? It’s ok to have it here.? It’s ok to wrap myself up in it when I need to.

But it’s not, like, driving the bus.

It’s not actually directing what happens in my business.

I don’t check it every morning and say “Oh, this is what I am supposed to do today”.

No.? I do yoga and meditate every morning and check in with my body and my feelings and my creative genius and my gremlins and say “Oh this is what I am supposed to do today”.

It’s the inside stuff that is directing what is happening my business.

This requires monumental amounts of trust.

But what it comes down to is – where do I want to place my trust?

I have asked myself this question over and over again as a self employed person.

Do I trust an organization or company to provide for me (via a job) or do I trust myself to provide for me or do I trust life to provide for me?? What do I trust more?? Why?

And what that comes down to is:

If I don’t trust what I teach I have no business teaching it.

Of course there will be times when I feel unsure.? I am human.? And everything I teach leaves plenty of space for that.

But on the whole though:

I really don’t have any business teaching Creative Magic if I’m not living it.

I have no patience for people who don’t walk their talk.

And I really have no patience for me not walking my talk.

No.? This is important to me.? This is real to me.? This matters to me.

This is what I am here to do.

Sometimes it will be easy, sometimes it will be hard.

No matter how hard it gets, I am not going to give up.

I’ll be present with the awkward stuff.? And I’ll share it here with you.

This is how we stretch and grow.

PS – If you didn’t yet – go read the International Gremlin Treaty of 2011.

I am Never Satisfied meets I just Want to be Comfortable: A Fairy Tale about a tug-of-war.

She is a visionary.? She dreams big and aims high.? She doesn’t settle.? Only the best will do.

She brings me possibility, all wrapped up in a gorgeous box with a big sparkling pink ribbon.? She shows me the best short cuts to my dreams and helps me get there faster.? She is the best Creative Dream Fairy a girl could ask for. She is why I am so good at bringing my own dreams to life, and why I am so good at helping other people bring their dreams to life.

But, of course, there’s a catch.

She doesn’t settle.? Only the best will do.? She dreams big and aims high.? And she keeps aiming higher and higher. She’s a bit of a tyrant.

And I can’t keep up.

From the time when we cook up a delicious idea together, to the time when I am finished actually making the thing real – she has carried on dreaming bigger and brighter.

And so – she’s never quite satisfied with what I do.

It’s like I’m always behind.? She always sees where it can be better.? More.? Shinier.

And then there’s her – over in the corner there. She wants to be comfortable and play small.? She wants people to like her and for things to be easy.? She weaves safety nets and if I’m not careful I can get caught up in them.

She’s annoying, but she also is so careful and thoughtful.? She really considers everything from every angle.? She really wants me to be safe.? She wants me to be ok.? She only has my best interests at heart.

And just like the Creative Dream Fairy, she is a part of me. The slow, scared part.

And she gets really agitated when she hears the Creative Dream Fairy demanding that I make things bigger, better and shiner.? And the two of them quite often end up in a big giant tug-of-war with me as the rope.

We’ve been having a big blow-up lately

It’s about the Creative Dream Incubator e-course.? My Creative Dream Fairy will not shut up about her ideas to keep growing this.? Slow Scared Me is totally freaking out.? I want the e-course to be all it can be but it is so hard to be moving faster than the slowest parts of me feel comfortable moving.

So I called a time out on the tug-of-war, and we sat down to see if we could find a way to work together.? I asked each of them what it is they need in this situation.

Creative Dream Fairy really needs to know that the show will go on.

She is afraid that Slow Scared Me is going to cancel it.? And she wants total creative control over the course content.

Slow Scared Me does want the course to go ahead but… you know… in a slower way.

In a smaller way.? She insisted that I lower the price and then not even advertise it. ? (Then later she agreed that once I’ve done it a few times we can talk about raising the price to what the Creative Dream Fairy and I think is fair, and we can advertise and spread the word)

And I saw how they could each have exactly what they wanted.

No one had to compromise.? After all this arguing and tug-of-warring it was almost funny to see that it’s actually pretty easy and straightforward for everyone’s needs to be met.

They both agree that this course is a light.? It can help people. And they want to help people.? They are willing to work together to make it happen.

And I stopped feeling like I? was caught in a tug-of-war.? And the show did go on.? We are now in the last week of the first session of the Creative Dream Incubator e-course and I am totally in love with the whole experience.

Slow Scared Me was even ok with creating a whole new website for the Creative Dream Incubator.? Creative Dream Fairy is a little frustrated about moving too slow but she’s so happy that this course is happening now.

Journal Prompts for Jealousy


So there you are.

Cruising along the path to your creative dream.

It’s not all unicorns and rainbows, there are tough times and challenges but overall it’s pretty great.

But then it happens.

Someone zips right past you!

They zip right past you and they get to the prize.?The book deal or the solo show at the really hard-to-get-into gallery or they have a shiny new e-course or they were featured on Etsy or whatever.

They got IT and you didn’t.

And it feels like crap.

And it becomes so easy to start thinking…

it’s so easy for her

everything is just handed to her

it’s not fair

It becomes easy to start comparing.? To start freaking out.

To start wondering if you really are good enough to make this happen.

And if you are good enough, why is it happening for other people but not for you?

Ouch.

Jealousy can let loose a massive tidal wave of energy and “Stuff”.

And when you’re in it, it’s anything but pleasant.

But it’s also pretty unavoidable.

Hello!? There are billions of us on this planet.? Others are bound to have what you want.

Just like you are bound to have, and to continue to get, things that other people want.

Jealousy can be turned into a really super useful tool for Creative Dreaming, if you’re willing to be with it.

That’s the rub, there.

Being willing to be with it.

Jealousy, like any other feeling, has a lot to teach us, if we are willing to learn.

It can show you what you want.

Sometimes jealousy can be a great big surprise.? Sometimes you didn’t even know you wanted something until you saw someone else get it.? Sometimes you kinda knew, but were keeping it a buried just beneath the surface.? Until so-and-so got it.? And now it’s not so beneath the surface anymore.? It’s right up in your face that you want this thing that someone else just got.

This is good because the odds of you getting what you want raise dramatically when you are willing to admit you want it.

But looking deeper than that… jealousy can steer you towards where your own stuff is getting in the way of your success.

This is the part where it gets Really Uncomfortable: Journaling Prompts for Overcoming Jealousy

When you start really exploring it, your jealousy shines a light on your limiting beliefs.? The places where you hold yourself back.

To start really exploring it, ask yourself:

Who are you jealous of?? Why?

How does it feel??

What does it say about you?

And by ask yourself I mean really ask yourself.

Put the questions in your art journal.? Spend some time with them and the answers and the feelings they spark.

Who are you jealous of?? Why? Of course this shows you more about what you really want.

How does it feel?? What does that say about you? Now this is where it starts to get interesting.

I’m jealous of so-and-so because she just got such-and-such and it makes me feel like I am never going to get it for myself.

I’m jealous of so-and-so because she just got such-and-such and now there is less for me.

I’m jealous of so-and-so because she just got such-and-such and now if I get it people will think I am copying her.

I’m jealous of so-and-so because she just got such-and-such and it makes me feel like I must be stupid and hopeless because I haven’t figured out how to get it yet.

I’m jealous of so-and-so because she just got such-and-such so she must be better at it than I am.

The way the jealousy makes you feel shows you something about where you are stuck.

If you think someone else getting what you want makes it less likely that you will ever get it – this is showing you that you hold a belief in lack.? There isn’t enough to go around.? Working on shifting this belief will help you be less stuck with your dreams.

If you think someone else getting what you want is a sign that you are stupid or hopeless or anything – this is showing you that you don’t really believe that you are good enough.? Working on shifting this belief will help you be less stuck with your dreams.

You may or may not be aware of these beliefs, they may be sub-conscious or not – doesn’t really matter.? Jealousy is bringing them to light.? You see them now.? One you see them, they are ready to be healed and shifted into beliefs that are going to nurture and support you.

Whatever it is, it is holding you back.

Invisibly and beneath the surface, it trips you up and keeps you from shining your brightest light.

And it only pops up above the surface when it gets stirred up by something like jealousy.

So having it be up here on the surface where you can see it is actually a huge gift.

Because you can learn about it and change it and heal it and when you do, you open up more space inside you for your creative genius.

This is a big part of what we do in the Creative Dream Circle – learn about, heal and transform the places where we’re stuck.

When I do these things, the beliefs start to shift and change.? I move into a space of being able to choose a new belief.? One that will be more nurturing and supportive of me and my Creative Dreams.

It doesn’t happen overnight.

But it does happen, if you do the work.