This week my dream showed me the path that leads from where I am today, to where I want to be.
The part where I am now is full of waves.
My dream was quick to clarify “Those are WAVES, those aren’t bumps. The path is wavy, not bumpy.”
I got that that felt important to my dream, but I didn’t understand it, so it continued…
“They are waves of healing for you, but also waves as in: the ground is at an incline which changes your perspective to generate the insights you need.”
Oh yeah, I see it now.
A wavy path is way better than a bumpy path, which is what it has been feeling like lately.
What changes when I remember that the bumps are waves?
I slow down.
I question where the thought “You are doing this all wrong” is actually coming from and find, each and every time, that it’s not my truth.
I stop pushing so hard against the thing that’s not working – or in the language of my dream, I stop treating a wave like a bump.
Which helps me make space to RECEIVE healing and insights that the wave has to offer.
Which then usually means I slow down even more.
This “THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE AND I’M JUST STUCK AND IT SUCKS” feeling mellows out and I start to see more clearly and inner and outer obstacles that are stopping me from doing what I want to do. And I start to see ways to face and move through each obstacle.
There are SO MANY healings and insights available right now.
I would say TOO MANY but my dream reminds me “This is what you need to get to the next part”
After over ten years of this work being my full time job – it STILL surprises me sometimes, how the path is not what we think it will be.
I’ve been seeing my next steps as being all about the outer work, all about these shifts and changes I want to make to my business and new projects I want to take on.
But my dream shows me that this is ALL ABOUT honouring my own truth and inner guidance in ways that make me uncomfortable right now.
Your dream is here to guide you into your best future.
We all need this guidance so much right now.
I mean personally and also collectively.
Our dreams can put us onto the right path, personally and collectively.
I’m so glad I made Dream Book BEFORE the Pandemic started.
I HAVE NEEDED THIS WORK SO BADLY to help me get through this time. My dreams have had so much advice and healing to offer me lately because I have needed so much advice and healing.
Dream Book is a sturdy container for doing the work of understanding what your dream is trying to teach you, and growing in the ways that your dream is trying to grow you.
Each person gets something different out of it, because each of us has a unique path.
It seems complicated but it’s not.
Your dream is always calling you towards your True Self.
Towards your healing and growth and the fullest brightest expression of who you are. Your dream is showing you ways to bring all of this into your life. There are many facets and each of them has the potential to help you heal and grow to be able to move towards the next one.
Your dream does have the power to turn your bumps into waves.
Join us here and find our what your dream has for you.
Yesterday on Facebook, I shared that for as long as I have been blogging, people have been telling me to censor myself.
I wasn’t feeling upset about this, I am FASCINATED by it. Not any particular instance of this happening, but the fact that it’s happened so consistently over the last 12 years.
I wasn’t expecting my comment it to stir up so much reaction from people. Just because I don’t use Facebook like I used to, I seem to be lost in the algorithm and don’t get a lot of engagement there. But this sparked engagement so I was inspired to write more.
I originally shared my comment mostly for the people who hold back from speaking their truth because they don’t want the kinds of responses that I get regularly.
I wanted to normalize the idea that you can do what you want to do, regardless of what others think you should be doing.
This is sovereignty 101.
And it’s the foundation for being able to pursue ANY dream. Because when you follow your own heart – not everyone in your life is going to like what you’re doing. It’s just not possible.
So, given what I do with the Creative Dream Incubator, of course this is something that is always on my mind.
And when you share your stories from your perspective – not everyone is going to like what you’re saying.
This simple fact keeps so many people silent. It especially keeps the more sensitive among us silent.
The most sensitive among us often have important things to share. And, frankly, the world is JUST SO FULL of the stories of the LEAST sensitive and most loud of us. We need more stories from the more reflective, sensitive folks to balance things out.
And for some of us, like me, sharing our stories and our process IS a part of how we are creative.
So what do you do when your fear of other people’s opinions holds you back from expressing your truth?
People ask me about this all the time, but it comes up up a lot more when I am writing about anti-racism and anti-capitalism and decolonization.
People who want to speak up but are afraid of saying the wrong thing. There is a fear of causing offence when you don’t mean to. Which is genuine! If you’re a white person learning anti-racism that’s just a part of the discomfort you’re going to have to learn to bear. AND if/when that happens – it’s not that hard to apologize and make amends.
There is actually a lot of google-able information about how to talk about racism. I just wanted to note – there are specific issues to consider there.
But, in general, just when feeling the call to share your own stories, thoughts, and feelings – there is also a common fear of people getting angry with you just because they don’t agree with your truth and don’t want you to say it.
And then beneath that there is the fear of “I won’t know how to handle that” and fears of what kinds of consequences this will bring.
And mixed in there is also the idea that – it shouldn’t matter. Like “what other people think of me is none of my business” and yet… that’s not how we’re wired.
Of course we want approval and harmony with our fellow humans.
Of course it’s uncomfortable.
So what do you need to do, to make it easier to bear the discomfort, for you to say and do the things you want to say and do?
That’s the question.
This comes into play in SO MANY PLACES with our dreams.
- I want to make and share my art but I’m embarrassed of what people will think. Is it really good enough?
- I want to make a big change in my business but my clients are happy with what I am doing now. Will I lose all of them?
- I want to talk about this thing I am SUPER PASSIONATE ABOUT but I don’t think my friends will agree with me. Will they argue with me? Will it get uncomfortable? Will I LOSE friends over it?
Fear of alienation is real.
The pain of not being understood is real.
Fear of rejection is real.
It’s all real.
Living into your sovereignty and living into your dreams means growing towards your most powerful and wise and authentic self.
You can’t be deeply wildly TRUE TO YOURSELF in how you’re showing up in your life if you’re not tending to the places in you that get hurt. Creating and maintaining boundaries to keep your tender self safe. Accepting the consequences of your choices and working with them. Cultivating your courage.
You have to recognize how all of this is functioning within you, and shine a light on your own fears around putting yourself out there.
It’s only when you can look your fears in the eye and be with your feelings that you find the power to not let these fears control you. This is one of the main things I teach because it’s one of the main things that holds us back (and BTW you should definitely join me in Dream Book for really creative and empowering and playful ways to do all of this).
So ask yourself:
What EXACTLY are you afraid of?
What’s the absolute worst thing that could happen?
And then, stepping into your brave sovereign self, what kind of boundary could you create here to help give you space to do what you need to do?
Give this all some real thought.
For me – canned responses are a way to make this all much simpler.
I came up with this years ago and still do it to this day.
Of course – often I just don’t respond. It depends on my energy levels and what else I’m working on and relationship with the person and the subject of the discussion.
This is a part of doing sovereignty in a GROWNUP way and taking responsibility for the CONSEQUENCES of your action. Yes, I am a sovereign being and can ignore anyone I want. No one has an automatic right to access me. BUT ALSO this is my work and engaging with the people who are engaged with my work can have a lot of benefits. I don’t mean just sales – but understanding what’s on people’s minds and what they’re dealing with and really CONNECTING. Treating them like human beings and not like “an audience”.
I mean – you have to look at it all more deeply. That’s just my choice.
So I like having the canned responses because I like to be quite responsive to people.
Having a canned response means I can respond without engaging emotionally.
It doesn’t pull me into their “You are wrong and I want you to be different” vibes. It doesn’t make me engage with the unsolicited advice I get.
It creates a buffer.
My canned response shares my policy about how I share my stories, thoughts and feelings without allowing anyone to edit me.
Most of the time, people respond to that in really beautiful ways.
Because they absolutely did not mean to be disrespectful. It’s VERY EASY for people to get triggered while reading other people’s stories, and just respond in the moment.
It’s ESPECIALLY triggery when people really do like and respect me, and see me as a role model for living in a meaningful and authentic way, and then see me say/do something they thing is really wrong. Because it throws a lot of stuff into question. So an instant reaction to that can be to try to get me to be back on the right path, so that they can go on being inspired and encouraged by me and not have these conflicting feelings.
With these people, we often go on to have helpful conversations or at least we both leave the interaction feeling good about it.
But sometimes, sharing my policy in response makes people angrier. Those ones I stop engaging with.
It’s a simple protocol.
Yup, it took time and energy and thought to figure out how to navigate this, to create space where I feel free to share what I want to share. It takes work, and there is a cost.
But NOT sharing what you feel called to share has it’s cost too.
Consider that the people who HATE what you say will gravitate AWAY from you when you share them more consistently. This makes more space for people who RESONATE with you to come in.
And consider that putting it out there and having it go exactly as horribly as you are afraid it will – just might be the experience that helps you become more brave about putting yourself out there.
That’s what happened to me in 2009 or 2010!
I started blogging and creating free e-courses while I was teaching creativity and spirituality workshops in person (evenings and weekends while working a full time office job) never thinking that I would charge for online things. I was doing this for fun and to explore my ideas.
Then it changed and I decided to stop doing in person workshops and create an online business and quit my job.
I was TERRIFIED to send that first email, with the details my new coaching program. People has signed up for my emails for free inspiration! What if they get mad that I am selling something?
I hit send and immediately went for a long walk to calm my nerves.
This was before I even had an iPhone, so I did not have a way to check email on my walk (!)
I got home and found exactly the angry email I was afraid of.
The person literally wrote, among other much ruder things, “I signed up for free inspiration I don’t want to read about your paid coaching”
My worst fear. Right there on the screen.
And – now this is NOT how I thought I would react at all, I was genuinely terrified of this exact thing happening – I laughed.
I said to myself “Who the fuck is she to think I OWE HER free inspiration?”
And in that moment I was free of that fear.
Now – when people sign up for free inspiration via email, of course you want to provide what you say you will. And I had no intention to stop sending out free inspiration. I mean that was over 11 years ago and here I am still doing it.
But if a person can’t also hear about what kinds of programs and services I am offering then I don’t HAVE TO send them free inspiration. I don’t owe them anything.
This person’s feelings were TOTALLY VALID.
And my feelings were TOTALLY VALID as well.
Nobody has to be wrong. But as a sovereign being I don’t need to offer free inspiration to this woman who would email me with an insulting tone. And I do accept the consequences of this choice.
I hit the unsubscribe button for her to make sure she never had to hear another word about my offerings.
And you know what? A WHOLE BUNCH of other people responded by BUYING MY NEW COACHING OFFERING.
And I went on to offer more paid coaching and classes and turned this thing I was doing for fun into my full time job.
No, this stuff won’t always be so easy and clean to work through. I did want to share my most immediately-triumphant story in the hopes that it sparks triumph for you as well.
Your stories are needed.
We are in a time of big transitions. The pandemic has a lot of people re-thinking a lot of things. We’re in late stage capitalism and starting to see it fail more people in more ways than ever before.
Sharing your thoughts and feelings and inspiration and hopes and dreams can actually help shape the new world to come.
Or it can help others feel less alone.
Keeping them hidden inside you certainly won’t help anyone.
I bring all of my feelings to my dream in our daily meetings.
This morning it was: heartbreak, confusion, frustration and anger.
Our ICU beds are full and new Covid cases keep increasing and the anti-maskers anti-vaxers are out in full force, planning rallies and riling people up to fight back against the health restrictions. They don’t seem to understand that the only reason the streets outside our hospitals aren’t lined in refrigerator trucks full of dead bodies is that most of our elderly are vaccinated. Or that the ICUs being full literally means there is no room for emergency patients.
We’re in crisis. This third wave with the new variants is brutal in my city. And it hurts my heart to see so many privileged crying about civil liberties while not giving a shit about community care (or civil rights!). It hurts my heart the way the people who get the short end of every stick are getting the short end of this one.
This is the world I live in?
This is the world I dream in?
My dream agrees. Fuck this garbage culture that allows atrocities to happen every day in the name of capitalism, colonialism and white supremacy.
But my dream doesn’t feel heartbroken about it like I do.
My dream feels determined and says “Hey. This is why you dream. I’m here to help.”
I’ve long dreamed of a world that supported EVERYONE in pursuing their creative dreams and unleashing their true potential.
A world where we all have a safe place to live and enough to eat. Where we grew up with love and nurturing and stability and encouragement.
A world where resources are used to support all life and the hoarding of resources is unheard of.
A world where you don’t even need therapy and coaching and magic to heal and grow your way into your true self. It’s just the way of life and the whole community supports it.
A world where you feel inspired and excited to do a thing – so you do it! You just DO your dream. You don’t waste years tangled up in self doubt and inner critic voices and working at a draining job because without that money you would die on the streets.
Of course, doing the thing may take time and support, you may need to do lots of research and learning first – I’m not saying it would be easy. Dreams are not meant to be easy.
But the world around you wouldn’t be actively making it harder. The world would cheer you on.
This morning my dream says:
Look at how you’re creating pockets of this magic, right here in this shitty capitalist culture.
Looking at all of the other people doing the same.
Look at everyone trying to heal and grow.
Look at everyone waking up and learning and creating new models for how to create a better world.
Remember that we have to get angry and dissatisfied with the status quo in order to change it. We need more privileged people to stop focusing so much on pursuing their own dreams and protecting their own civil liberties and look at how to make the world better for everyone.
Because that’s the way to ALL of our dreams.
And it’s closer than we realise.
I had a joint meeting with my dream and the soul of my business because I had a few questions I wanted to ask them together.
I was not ready for the answers.
The first question was about the three projects I am working on now. I don’t feel I have three projects worth of focus, so how do I decide what to do?
One of the projects turned into caramel on a warm day and just melted away.
Then my business showed me that really putting my heart and creativity into the other two projects would actually accomplish the goals of that project, without me having to actually DO that project.
Since the project that melted away was a marketing project, I was more than happy to take that advice.
Then my dream and my business got together and said:
Stop identifying as sensitive
And I was like “what?” WHOA!” “what?”
I could see this idea held an entirely new possibility for everything about my life.
But it also felt absolutely impossible because I AM SENSITIVE.
I read the book The Highly Sensitive Person 22 years ago and that was the first time I ever felt SEEN. I felt so relieved to have a name to call the ways that I was different from everyone else, and some coping mechanisms for handling it.
Being an HSP has been a big part of my identity for 22 years.
My dream and my business are like “yeah whatever” “so you’re sensitive. So what?”
And then I see it.
I can BE sensitive without IDENTIFYING as sensitive.
Sensitive doesn’t have to be the part of me I lead with.
Sensitive doesn’t have to be the main part of how I define myself.
And the soul of my business whispered “Hey what if POWERFUL is the main way you define yourself?’
I mean what if?
POWERFUL is every bit as much as who I am as SENSITIVE.
Also CREATIVE and CRABBY and TIRED and all sorts of other things.
But WHAT IF powerful was the main way I defined myself?
I got this sense of powerful being almost a shield. Powerful all around me, like a living energy that energizes me, gives me more options for how I show up in my life and – get this – creates safe space for my sensitivity to live deeper in, closer to me, further from my identity out in the world.
Then the soul of my business whispers: “This is how you build your capacity so you can do the things you want to do next“
This is what I love about Dream Book.
It’s not about “you have to be your best and most powerful self all the time” which is what a LOT of the Live Your Best Life Industry is pushing.
It’s about creating space for the RIGHT insight to find you at the RIGHT time.
So it lands, not just as a seed for a new possibility for you life… it lands as medicine.
Today in Dream Book I’m teaching a class on Growth, Chaos + Change: Following your own flow in your business.
It’s an alchemy process for connecting with your own creative flow and the creative flow of your business and how to lean on that flow to help you move through change.
We’re all experiencing a lot of change right now. Some of it caused by external change, some of it sparked by our own wishes and dreams for what we want next.
This kind of change can cause us to revert back to old coping mechanisms.
In this class I’ll share an alchemy process that helps you create a NEW way, one that is more in alignment with your evolving truth.
It will be recorded, so you can listen whenever works for you.
When it comes to navigating change – it doesn’t matter if it’s change that you are choosing or change that is foisted upon you, the process is the same.And the answer is following your creative flow and following the creative flow of your business. This is the hardest to do when you need it the most. Which is a part of the nature of growth, that there are gifts in the hard places.
So we are going to dig in and explore this together!
The Growth, Chaos + Change: Following your own flow in your Business class is happening on May 13.
This is for everyone who is in Dream Book, my ongoing creative dream course + mastermind.
Boundaries support your wellbeing and healing and self care and DREAMS.
In your business, boundaries support you in doing your best work, shining your light and receiving the things you need.
So the big question is:
What kind of support do you need, to do the things you want to do?
There are SO MANY WAYS to get creative about creating this support for yourself.
Systems and guidelines and routines and limits and agreements. These are all boundaries.
Of course – today is the Business + Boundaries: Creating Space for your Creative Dreams to flourish class!
This class is an experiential deep-dive into exploring where you need more/different SUPPORT, to be able to do the things you want to do in your business.
When I was preparing the class, I was getting my period and was a little crampy. It wasn’t that bad, and I don’t like to take drugs, so normally I would just try to ignore the cramps and carry on.
BUT I’m finding it hard to focus these days for a lot of reasons. So I decided to just take an Advil, to numb the cramps so I had one less thing distracting me.
Of course, the decision to usually NOT take drugs is ALSO a boundary.
Good boundaries are fluid because we are living things and our needs change all the time.
But it’s so much more complicated when it comes to business, because it’s not just YOUR needs that matter. Your customer’s needs matter and your business’ needs matter and your employees, suppliers…. it’s big web.
Also, most boundary decisions happen in our unconscious, driven by people-pleasing and fear of failure and other such nonsense.
Like – “Oh, we did 6 coaching sessions together last year and you were thrilled with my work at the time, but now you’ve decided to go to Disneyland and want a refund to help pay for it? Well, I REALLY want you to like me, so sure!“
I mean, that’s an extreme example but we violate our own needs to get external approval in a lot of ways.
And it’s uncomfortable to hold our boundaries for a lot of reasons.
So the Business + Boundaries class is, of course, a healing circle.
A chance to look deeper at what’s happening for you in your business, to figure out where to plug leaky boundaries to make things smoother for you and to explore how to give yourself the support you need to do what you want to do next.
AND a healing space for being with the things that come up from that, for processing the feelings and holding the insights and figuring out what to do next with all of this.
I LOVE this work.
I LOVE the way our businesses push us deeper into our growth.
I can’t wait!
And YES the class will be recorded so you want do it in your own time. This is one I think we’ll come back to over and over, because each time you do it you would get something different from it.
This class is a part of Dream Book, my ongoing creative dream course + mastermind. Join us here.
It’s happening on Instagram live this morning at 10 am (Central, North America). Join me here, or catch the replay at that same link after we’re done.
This morning in my Dream Work practice, my dream was a glowing red jewel that wanted to beam me the instructions for how to make it happen.
Yes please, I said.
The dream jewel began beaming instructions and Bear snuggled in beside me.
At one I point I said: You know, I already know this. You’re showing me my plan.
And the dream jewel said: Yes. I was hoping you would notice that sweetie. You already know what to do.
Then the dream jewel had arms and hands, and reached over to touch my heart.
It grabbed something that was around my heart. Like a frozen block of something…
My dream said: I am melting your hesitation to ACT on your genius plan.
You need to just DO IT.
You don’t need to see all the steps and how they fit together.
You just need to stake the step that’s in front of you to take.
Sweetheart, I am literally reading to you from the Dream Book course material that you wrote. You know this.
And then I could feel that block of frozen hesitation melt.
Right. Just start doing it.
Before this meditation, I was looking at my goals for this week and it felt like I was juggling impossible burning knives.
It was 8:30 am, but I wanted to just go take a nap in the hopes that I would feel more clear after.
And now I just feel excited to play around with my projects.
I love all of the things I’m doing so it feels like YAY! AN ABUNDANCE OF GOOD AND INTERESTING THINGS! instead of the previous OMG*DOOM*TOO*MANY*THINGS feeling before.
This is the magic of Dream Work.
Dream Work is NOT just about making a vision board and repeating affirmations to convince yourself to believe in yourself.
It’s about the deep and focused work of partnering with your dream so it can GROW YOU into the version of yourself who easily does the thing.
What I teach in Dream Book is Dream Work AND Inner Work AND how to use this work to POWER your Outer Work.
But “teach” is too small a word for what really happens in Dream Book.
I hold space for you to go deeper into your own ways of partnering with your dreams, your magic, your creativity, your power, your process of healing and growth.
What is means is:✨ more HEALING and GROWTH along the way
✨ less time wasted in STRESS and OVERWHELM
✨ you have what you need to forge your own path
Join us today! Your future self will thank you.
This morning I:
- painted for 20 minutes
- meditated for 20 minutes
- journaled for 20 minutes
- did my regular Dream Work practice in Dream Book
… just to feel somewhat awake and present and ready to begin my day.
It’s hard right now.
When my husband moved out and I re-claimed the whole Dream Loft as my creative/dream/magical self care space, I felt this… well, it was a huge breath of fresh air. After so long NOT having the alone time or creative space I needed, suddenly I had all I could want of each.
It was freeing. Catching up on alone time after starving for it for so long was healing and rejuvenating and at first it felt like everything is possible….
Here I am now. All caught up. Grounded in this new phase of my life where my husband lives a 6 minute bike ride away.
Learning how to balance my need for alone time and creative time and peace and quiet with my wish to have a rich and nourishing marriage with this person I love – without my highly sensitive needs getting squashed. And without his very-different-from-mine needs getting squashed either.
Sitting with all of the questions that this brings up.
Not rushing to find the answers.
But REALLY EXCITED about the couples therapist I did find who I trust to be a good guide for this journey.
But the way I’m feeling right now isn’t about that. I think.
It feels like the weight of the pandemic.
With the end (maybe?) in sight it’s actually natural for it to NOT feel like a relief, it’s actually natural for the pandemic overwhelm to get heavier. Sometimes the end being in sight just reminds us of all we’ve lost.
I read yesterday that overdoses are up EIGHTY SEVEN PERCENT in 2020, compared to 2019. And I think of my friend who died and how devastating that was and imagining that devastation happening to EIGHTY SEVEN PERCENT more people than usual.
I mean, not that there should ever be a usual amount. We could have a society that actually takes care of everyone. (By the way, if you are Canadian – please use this form to email your MP about universal basic income for all Canadians. My amazing MP, Leah Gazan, is making some headway with this and needs support.)
I got my first shot of the vaccine.
A few weeks ago a friend invited me for brunch.
We rode our bikes to Starbucks for coffee and sandwiches, then rode to a park nearby that I always forget about – garbage hill. Literally just an old dump turned into a hill. He brought fruit and yogurt and we sat on separate benches at the top of the hill and had a long talk.
I was smiling about it for days.
Telling everyone about this magical bunch we had. Because it just FELT SO GOOD to be out with a friend again.
This week I am meeting another friend for coffee. A coffee shop opened up almost right next door to me – which has been a dream come true for some time! So my friend and I are going to check it out, and bring out coffee + treats back to my place (I’ve got some chairs on my patio for outdoor visiting).
These little things are everything right now. And they’re not enough.
That’s just where we are.
It’s HARD to feel hopeful that this thing is about to end.
The other thing that’s helping me through is my creative dreams.
Even though, as my list above shows, it takes A LOT to get into the zone so I can connect with my dreams – once I get there it’s like the weight of the pandemic is GONE.
I feel creative and free and I’m making things I love and I’m excited about sharing and everything feels so easy.
This moments don’t last like they used to.
But they are worth the work it takes to get there.
We have to keep showing up for our dreams, it’s the only way to create a better future.
I have a lot I want to say about this, about how our dreams are needed now more than ever as the world is in such transition. And how your dream isn’t just about you and how many others it will help heal and inspire.
But I don’t quite have the words yet.
I did a podcast interview earlier this week. I will share a link once it’s out because it was a really great conversation with a really inspiring woman I am sure you will want to meet.
But one of the things we spoke about is how the professional (artist, writer, dreamer, anything) is different from the amateur.
The amateur waits for inspiration.
The professional shows up and gets to work.
Sometimes it’s easy to get to work and sometimes it’s hard.
And it’s always worth it.
This is really the core of what I do in Dream Book – I give people new ways to show up and get to work on their dreams.
With support + encouragement to build a right-fit practice of showing up and getting to work.
A right-fit practice means you find PLEASURABLE and DOABLE ways to get into it and get the GENERATIVE effects of it.
It builds you up. It grows you. And it puts you in an entirely different position with your dreams.
Your dream wants to help heal you. That’s what it’s here for. Let it in.
Join me Monday mornings and we'll map out our weeks together in this LIVE FREE journaling + meditation class, working with creativity, intuition and magic.
It happens Mondays at 10am (Central, North American time) on Instagram. Follow me, and be on Instagram at the time and and you'll get a notification when I go live. Or participate in your own time using the replay on my video page