Every time I lead a meditation I say somewhere in there: even if it gets weird, even if this feels uncomfortable, you are not doing this wrong.
I say this because there is this idea out there that meditation should be peaceful and if it's not then you're doing it wrong. But that's not the way I teach meditation.
We are using meditation to connect with ourselves - we are not always peaceful and that's ok!!! And we are using meditation to connect with the souls of our dreams to get next-level advice on how to have more of what we want in our lives... that work is NOT always comfortable and almost never linear.
So, we need to be willing to let the process get uncomfortable and weird. This is the only way to use meditation as a part of the creative process of intentionally creating your life.
Some of the changes your dream asks you for will be surprising.
Some of the healing will be difficult.
This never means you are doing anything wrong.
This is my experience with the Hello Day meditation this morning:
I am starting to experience the work of HOLDING SPACE FOR MYSELF in a new way.
There is that part of me, that we have in the meditation, who always believes in myself and always believes in my dreams… and that part of me is growing bigger and starting to kind of push at the part of me who is more on the surface, more tired and overwhelmed by world events.
Actually, it almost feels like that part of me who always believes in myself + my dreams is actually trying to TAKE OVER my body and run things, the way my “regular everyday self” does now. An internal takeover.
And then in the energy clearing part of the meditation - that seems to melt away the stuff that helps that “regular everyday self” hold onto control of my body and mind. So it made more space for the “me who always believes in myself and always believes in my dreams”.
This felt hopeful and strange and disorienting.
Then it got really weird.
The soul of my dream slowed up, like a sluggish kind of bug, and it was sad and I asked what’s wrong and it said “I think I am too small”
And it was sooooo sad about this. Like my dream would be soooo much happier if I could make it bigger.
But I think this just is my internalized capitalism? That “DREAM BIGGER AND BIGGER STILL” cultural nonsense. Because I don’t actually want to dream this dream in any kind of bigger way. I want what I want.
But my dream doesn’t think so, it seems to think if it was bigger, then this thing I want to do today would be easier.
Which seems absurd to me. I ask my dream: Can’t we get to you, at your current size, AKA made you real AND THEN reassess and see if we want to dream bigger? Because right now I genuinely don’t want more.
But I’m too little to lift this, my dream says.
I don’t understand what my dream thinks that I am asking it to lift?!
But I am sure not here to argue with my dream. So I repeat myself. I show it more clearly what I want to do today to work towards this plan we have.
In return, my dream shows me this lever that it needs to lift up, to do its part of this plan. And shows me how it’s too small to lift the lever.
Two things happen in my mind at once.
FIRST ONE:
Oh wow. I see it.
The answer isn’t to dream bigger, it’s actually to dream SMALLER. Like somehow (and I don’t understand any of this, this is just what is happening in the meditation) if I made my current goal within this dream smaller, then that would make the lever easier for this dream to lift, so they can do their part. Again, this seems wrong logically but felt like the answer in the meditation.
SECOND ONE:
I am big enough to lift this lever, and when I went to try to do that in the meditation, I saw how “me lifting the lever” is actually “me spending more time in meditation and then doing things from the meditations…. like making art out of the imagery and writing about it more and just generally acclimating to the soul of my dream in a deeper way”.
SO… we can do both!!!
I can narrow in on a smaller chunk of my dream that I want to focus on now (which instantly feels enlivening) (but note to anyone reading this: as a coach I have to say that sometimes dreaming bigger or freer or wilder in some way also creates that enlivening sensation so I am NOT suggesting we all think smaller) AND I can give myself more time acclimating to the soul of the dream.
It DOES feel like each time I give that work “more time” I am asked to give it more time, still.
I think this is the FUEL for making dreams happen and maybe I need to re-fill the tank more often than I know?
How do you fill your tank on the vehicle that gets you to your dream? How do you know how often to re-fill it?
After that, I went on to do my Project Miracle practice for today.
Starting with Hello Day, then moving on to Project Miracle feels so LUXURIOUS.
The message from my miracle clarified everything in the Hello Day meditation.
It said to STOP BEING IN THE ENERGY OF DOING THE THING.
My miracle asked me to notice how the energy of making a thing happen, or doing the thing, is soooo different from the energy of tending to the thing, and having the thing.
My miracle said: just stay in that energy. TEND TO IT AS THOUGH IT'S HERE.
Which isn't fake it 'till you make it. I am not pretending I already have it or saying to others that I do or anything like that. I am noticing how the work of tending to the thing already here FEELS SO DIFFERENT from the work of creating the thing and asking: how do I have more of that feeling, in how I work with this project?
And, my miracle pointed out, I have done so much work to create the thing. It's kind of saying... let that work take root now. Trust what you've done. Tend to the growing of the seeds without getting in there and trying to grow them yourself.
Maybe that only makes sense to me, but it makes SO MUCH SENSE to me.
And THAT is what you should expect from this kind of meditation.
It can get weird and uncomfortable and nonsensical and... if you stay with it... you find what you need. That perfect weird right answer that helps you with your next steps.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!
I am doing my Dream Status Report for this week to check in with myself and my dreams and what I need and what my dreams need, for the coming week.
Doing this, consistently over time, IS MAGIC.... AND... Consistency is hard for most of us these days! So - I try to do this on Sundays, and write about it, to remind you to also take a few minutes to check in with yourself and your dreams.
*this practice works well with the Weekly Planning Sheet and Creative Genius Planning Sessions. If you want more progress and momentum with your dreams, you likely need to plan differently!
I'm still thinking about our conversations on the Co-Dreaming call on Friday.
How the theme of FREEDOM kept coming up, people feeling more free or making space in their lives to feel more free and how delicious this feels, even when we find new freedom in the tiniest of ways.
AND the theme of NEXT LEVEL SELF AWARENESS. How people are noticing these "little things they do" in new ways, like "Oh I am making up a story in my mind about why this person doesn't like me when actually I have no idea if they like me or not and I could just... not think about it" and "I'm seeing ways I hold back creatively, telling myself I'm not ready or I'm not that good at it when that's nonsense and actually I AM GOING TO DO THIS THING!!!"
There are just so many ways that our worldview and the things that run through our heads control our lives and we are not usually aware of most of them! So when we have new awareness that's such a huge opportunity/healing/gift.
And it's just really cool and amazing to see it happening in different ways with different people in the group... it really feels like the energy is shifting.
The last while has been ROUGH, there's been so much to adjust to and process and a lot of our calls felt HEAVY - that's the nature of holding space for ourselves in difficult times. It will feel heavy sometimes. AND. If we keep showing up - things will lighten. New possibilities will open up.
I also had a new awareness during our call about my "problem" with "figuring out" my new structures, habits and routines.
It's actually not a problem! I'm actually doing quite well!
It's just that.. it doesn't look like I thought it would. (This happens SO OFTEN with this work!)
I wanted some kind of simple and always-easy-to-understand way to say (to myself mostly) "THIS IS HOW I WORK".
But how I work changes all the time depending on what is happening.
Like, when I'm doing healing circles during hard times, I need a lot of meditation and journaling and spiritually strengthening practices. After our call on Friday, I felt such creative buzz I painted for a few hours.
Being truly present, as a space holder, means being adaptable.
I do already have the routines in place to be able to do this AND yes I keep creating new ones. But I was doing that thing where I was trying to figure it all out WITH MY HEAD, as a logical project... when really I needed to just MAKE SPACE to explore and figure it out.
These weekly reports are REALLY helping on that front.
Again, this week, I see that I didn't do a lot of the things on my list.
But I did do different things! Things that are related to those things.
And I realized - the problem isn't that I am not following through. The problem is that I am trying to hold certain tasks too rigidly...
This week instead of writing out the tasks I want to complete, I am going to write out the PROJECTS I WANT TO BE WITH. Like - step back a bit, connect with the soul of the project, and see where the flow takes me instead of deciding that certain tasks NEED to be done when maybe the soul of the project has a different idea about how it could happen. (Note: all of my tasks that NEED to be done at a certain time are already organized well in Notion - without the AI! Just old school project + idea management)
This might only make sense to me - it's is just a different way of organizing and holding the projects I am working on.
And it's a way that FEELS EXCITING TO ME RIGHT NOW and that's all that matters.
(I also notice I haven't used the Weekly Planning Sheet in a while, so I am making a PLAN to use that tomorrow.)
How about you?
Can you take a few minutes today to reflect on how your week went, notice how you feel about it, see if there is anything to learn or celebrate or acknowledge in some way?
Where do you want to be at the end of 2026?
Let's make a plan that gets you there - WITHOUT overwhelm or over-working. WITH self care and soul.
Spring Cleaning for your Dreams is Live on Zoom. May 27. 1:00 pm Central - replay provided.
Members can get the call details here.
AND! There's an option to do this WITHOUT signing up for the membership subscription!
If you're NOT a member: Get the details + sign up for Spring Cleaning for your Creative Dreams here.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!
This is a question that the soul of the Creative Dream Incubator asked me in a meditation: How are you INHABITING the MAGIC of your dream?
And I didn't have an answer, which illuminated all the ways I am NOT inhabiting the magic of this dream.
I’m still in this process of re-planning how I plan. I’m using the Structure, Habits Routines class and I am working through it sooooo sloooow. Really sinking into the questions and looking more deeply at how I want this all to feel and function.
This is complicated because I am also in a phase of life I've never been in before! So everything is changing and all the ways I knew about how to do this worked best for a version of me who doesn't exist anymore and who lived in a world that doesn't exist anymore.
It's actually really common, when working with your dreams, to have to figure out how to do something you have no way of knowing how to do - this is the nature of dreams! They push you beyond your comfort zone and beyond what you know. Your dreams are here to GROW you and this is where a lot of that growth happens.
But even though I have been thinking about how I want to FEEL inside these new structures, habits and routines... I see now - I have been really have been overly focused on the practicalities of this dream. Trying to figure it all out with LOGIC.
I have NOT been inhabiting the magic of the dream of what it will mean to HAVE the structures, habits and routines I want.
So: How are you inhabiting the magic of your dream? brings that into sharper awareness for me and then the question becomes more about HOW TO inhabit the magic of my dream.
When I can do that... this brings me to a better line of questioning. This brings me to a place of finding better answers and ideas!
This is really a question that is good for anyone at any stage of any dream.
What is the MAGIC of your dream? The qualities of it, the way it makes you feel, the things you love about it, that thing that makes it so special.
How are you inhabiting THAT? (Even if the outer dream is very far away) (Membership members: tools that help with this are Dream Self practice, Dream Lab practice, and Alchemy Process for Acclimating to your Dream)
If you can point to ways you ARE inhabiting the magic of your dream: then can you lean into that more, and try to look at whatever questions/obstacles you have through the lens of your most-inhabiting-the-magic-of-it self?
If you can't point to ways that you are already inhabiting the magic of your dream: then how CAN YOU inhabit the magic of this dream?
We do need logic to plan and strategize and get to our dream. But we also need the MAGIC of our dreams. What do you think about how you're balancing them right now?
Co-Dreaming/Co-Working call is today! I hope to see you there!
We'll start with a short meditation for connecting with the soul of your dream (like the Dream Lab) and then have time for whatever you want to do - planning next week, working on your projects, sharing your updates, talking about something that is stuck with your dreams or just hanging out in the magic of the group.
Call details are here. Replay will be there a few hours after we're done today.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!
My practice this morning is the PERFECT illusion of why we need to practice every day, or as close as possible to that.
I was unfocused, disheveled, kind of cranky and feeling lazy like “Why bother doing anything?”
A part of me tried to take charge and remind the rest of me that this is not how I wanted to start my day! I reminded myself of how amazing it felt to do the miracle meditation yesterday. I got myself to my comfy chair with my laptop, headphones and journal but when I went to the next lesson in Project Miracle I just couldn’t.
My miracle feels heavy, not heavy in a bad way but WEIGHTY I guess. Intense. Solid. Real. INTENSE.
I didn’t feel up to holding it today. Which is ok!
So I did the Hello Day meditation instead.
Which was… whoa.
I saw all of this heaviness and resistance that’s been on me, like honey. Thick, sticky… but slowly dripping off of me. I saw how this resistance is actually fading away.
I saw this PRESSURE like a bunch of sharp shapes spinning around me. Hard work and over work and striving and following all of these ever-changing rules to keep up.
And I saw how these sharp shapes were pulling back, moving away from me.
I saw how the resistance was a response to all of that pressure.
I saw how, as they both retreated, a flame started to burn in the space between them.
The fire of inspiration. The BURNING desire to create and share on my own terms.
Whew.
My energy totally shifted.
I got 3 amazing new ideas for projects for the Creative Dream Incubator membership.
Then I got to the part in the meditation where I invited the soul of my dream in.
It showed up like a little being, floating right near my heart, reaching out to my heart, and the message was:
I AM WITHIN REACH.
Which landed somewhere deep in my heart and felt completely true.
And I thought back to how disheveled and full of resistance I was when I sat down to do this. And how everything felt too hard today. And how OF COURSE I’d rather just stay in bed than try to wade through all of that energy to try to get to a place where I could find my creative flow.
This is why I practice.
I practice putting myself into an inner state where ALL OF MY DREAMS ARE POSSIBLE so that I have the capacity, courage and trust to take my next steps, again and again and again.
No one just wakes up feeling inspired and brave every day. But anyone can get there with practice.
Membership members: please remember, any time what you had planned/wanted to do feels too hard… do the Hello Day meditation instead. OR if things are REALLY hard, use the For When You’re Too Upset To Do This meditation.
Let’s keep practicing meeting ourselves where we are, so that we can move towards where we want to be.
Join me for: SPRING CLEAN your CREATIVE DREAMS: May 27 on Zoom! Replay provided.
Where do you want to be at the end of 2026? Let's make a plan that gets you there - WITHOUT overwhelm or over-working.
Spring Cleaning For Your DREAMS
Live on Zoom. May 27. 1:00 pm Central - replay provided.
- Check in with your dreams/goals/intentions/plans for 2026 (Or come up with some now!)
- Celebrate what you’re doing well! Let go of what’s ready to go. Grieve what needs to be grieved. Process it all and clear space for CREATING what's next.
- Notice what needs more attention.
- Notice where you need more support.
- Make an ACCESSIBLE plan WITH SUPPORTS to help make it easier to keep things on track
Members can get the call details here.
AND! There's an option to do this WITHOUT signing up for the membership subscription!
If you're NOT a member: Get the details + sign up for Spring Cleaning for your Creative Dreams here.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!
I had a LOT of resistance to doing my Project Miracle practice today.
And it felt kind of weird - since I have given myself permission to take this really slow, to take more than 30 days to do the 30 days of the practice, this morning, feeing foggy headed I thought “I’ll just do it tomorrow”…
But somewhere inside me, I started to feel like.. that’s not the right move. That’s just my resistance speaking. I actually DO want my miracle. I want to be moving forward.
I was in bed still, and had my phone with me. Usually I leave my phone downstairs when I go upstairs in the evening but last night that didn’t happen so it felt like a little nudge… you have the phone, you can just go do the next lesson without even getting out of bed…
So I did.
And it was SO nice to do the meditation from bed, resting on my big pile of pillows.
Immediately I thought… what was the big deal about not wanting to do this today? THIS IS HEAVENLY. AND! It helps me get the thing I want most right now. Win win!
I did the Exploring your Miracle practice today and it was WILD, as in - it showed me something that was the total opposite from what I was thinking that my miracle was about.
Technically - that’s a miracle. That shift in perspective.
The meditation showed me that the qualities of this miracle are: presence, trust and gentleness/slowness.
And that felt stark and surprising to me because, and this is when I really noticed this, I was assuming that actually GETTING this thing I want would require: strategy, structure and hard work.
AND THIS IS WHY I HAVE FELT STUCK AND IN RESISTANCE!!
A part of me is just NOT up for more strategy, structure and hard work.
Another part of me thinks it’s necessary.
Another part of me, the wiser part of me, knows there is another way… but hasn’t seen it yet.
This is the thing about creating something NEW in your life. You haven’t seen it yet!!
Maybe you’ve seen other people have it but the view is quite different when you are IN IT. You have not truly seen what it means for you to do/be/have this thing.
So you’re in the unknown. And being in the unknown is a whole thing on its own. On top of the creative process you’re already in to create this thing.
It’s a lot!
And, as I age, I am noticing how much I have used HARD WORK to power through these parts. Which isn’t wrong!!! But it’s not really possible for me to do that in the same ways now, AND I don’t want to.
I feel deeply called to a new way of doing things AND I am still learning about what that call actually means.
So I am in three different creative processes: calling in this miracle, creating a new body work in textile art, creating new structures/habits/routines for my creative/work life.
And I am in three different unknowns with each of these.
No wonder I wonder about whether or not I want to show up on any given day. This is a lot to hold!
So the question is: HOW am I holding all of this? What’s working about that? What’s not working? How do I WISH I was holding it all?
HOW DO I WISH I WAS HOLDING IT ALL.
BINGO!
That’s the right thing to explore next.
Join me for: SPRING CLEAN your CREATIVE DREAMS: May 27 on Zoom! Replay provided.
We're under stress. We're overwhelmed. AND we're inspired to create the things we are called to create.
These times call for a different way of planning. A way of planning that includes self care and soul and healing alongside making measurable progress towards your goals.
So we're going to get together and make a plan that recognizes this. An ACCESSIBLE plan that gets you to where you want to be WITHOUT asking you to push yourself beyond what feels right in the moment.
Spring Cleaning For Your DREAMS
Live on Zoom. May 27. 1:00 pm Central - replay provided.
- Check in with your dreams/goals/intentions/plans for 2026 (Or come up with some now!)
- Celebrate what you’re doing well! Let go of what’s ready to go. Grieve what needs to be grieved. Process it all and clear space for CREATING what's next.
- Notice what needs more attention.
- Notice where you need more support.
- Make an ACCESSIBLE plan WITH SUPPORTS to help make it easier to keep things on track
Members can get the call details here.
AND! There's an option to do this WITHOUT signing up for the membership subscription!
If you're NOT a member: Get the details + sign up for Spring Cleaning for your Creative Dreams here.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!
I love to decorate my own birthday cakes and I did make one this weekend - but this photo is from the big one I made for my 50th, my sister baked the cakes (5 layers) and make 3 batches (!) of icing so I had lots to play with. The layers have a rainbow of icing swirled between them.
Usually I post some reflections on my birthday, and I meant to yesterday, but I wasn’t feeling up to it.
There are so many reasons, both for me personally and for us collectively, why it’s just SO EASY to not feel up to being as present, engaged and creative as we’d like to be. So many reasons why we just can't do the things we really do want to do.
I have been, as always, looking for ways that we can hold onto the things that bring us joy, meaning, healing and fulfilment, even when we feel too tired for them. Finding ACCESSIBLE ways to access the magic.
Self care is a big one. Adjusting expectations. Like not posting the birthday reflection yesterday because it felt like too much, and taking a nap instead.
PLANNING is another big one. Planning in a way that takes pressure off of your brain in the moment, breaks things down into smaller steps and makes it EASY for you….
For example, I’ve been embroidering a snake all over a motorcycle jacket that I am sewing.
For a long time, I knew I wanted to do this, but that’s all I knew. So even days when I had time to start - how was I supposed to start? What was I supposed to do? There were so many things to figure out and plan for before I could even begin to trace out the outline of a snake onto the pattern pieces. And then there were so many experiments I had to do before I could know HOW I want to embroider this snake.
But once that was done, once a really good plan was in place, yes I could pick it up and embroider even on my most overwhelmed and exhausted days - and the act of creating combined with the repetitive hand sewing were actually SOOTHING. It brought me so much joy in a way that was ALWAYS accessible to me.
With the right planning and prep, you can find ways to give your CREATIVE DREAMS 10 minutes a day, even on the really exhausting days. Even when you don’t feel like. And DOING IT ANYWAY can really help shift your energy.
I’m doing that with ALL of my projects, and I am inviting you to do it with me!
Spring Cleaning For Your DREAMS
Live on Zoom. May 27. 1:00 pm Central - replay provided.
- Check in with your dreams/goals/intentions/plans for 2026 (Or come up with some now!)
- Celebrate what you’re doing well! Let go of what’s ready to go. Grieve what needs to be grieved. Process it all and clear space for CREATING what's next.
- Notice what needs more attention.
- Notice where you need more support.
- Make an ACCESSIBLE plan WITH SUPPORTS to help make it easier to keep things on track
This is happening in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership - if you’re not a member, it’s fine to join just for 1 month to do this.
Members - get the call details here.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!
I am doing my Dream Status Report for this week to check in with myself and my dreams and what I need and what my dreams need, for the coming week.
Doing this, consistently over time, IS MAGIC.... AND... Consistency is hard for most of us these days! So - I try to do this on Sundays, and write about it, to remind you to also take a few minutes to check in with yourself and your dreams.
*this practice works well with the Weekly Planning Sheet and Creative Genius Planning Sessions. If you want more progress and momentum with your dreams, you likely need to plan differently!
I've spent the last hour reflecting and journaling.
I had so many thoughts about this that I decided to just turn on my video camera and talk about it:
Notes from the video:
Structure Habits Routines: I am still working on this class, very slowly, and getting excited to think of how I could do all of this so differently!
Some thoughts on being in THE UNKNOWN and how important it is to NOT limit ourselves by always wanting to KNOW and to feel like to know what we're doing. We have to NOT know what we're doing sometimes!!
On feeling like I am "dragging" a task from week to week and that I was ready for a REFRAME on that! I'm not FAILING to get the task done, it's just AMAZING that I have this idea for a thing I can do than to not have an idea.
AND wanting to GET THE THING DONE instead of making more space for reflection, inner work, soul work, etc... IS A TRAP. There is NOT a way to speed up the Outer Work that doesn't come from giving the Dream Work and/or Inner Work MORE TIME AND ATTENTION.
I bought out the little Compass of Creative Dream Alchemy (from the Dream Book 2026 printables) to talk more about how important it is to be doing ALL THREE and not just focus on outer progress.
Membership members - I'd love to hear what you are learning in your Dream Status Report or planning for this week - come to the forum to share!
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!
The head of the snake on the motorcycle jacket I've been embroidering... more below
I was stuck with a creative project and starting to feel all the feelings of not doing the thing I really want to be doing: creative blocks, what if I never created again? fear of failure, feeling not good enough, overwhelm, "maybe I should just take a break from all of this", etc.
With the stress of everything in the world, it feels easier for me to fall into a hole with this stuff.
So I did a coaching session with myself.
And I decided to share it with you because I think it's helpful to remember that we can't just WAIT until we know exactly how to do a thing, before we get started.
It's easy for it to FEEL LIKE there is no way in, but we have to get in there and explore and figure out how to CREATE the way in. Otherwise, we will never begin. And we deserve to be fully immersed in the magic of our creative flow!
So, what brings you to see me today?
I want to be making art. I am not making art. I have time. I have supplies. I have space. I have ideas. I am not doing anything with any of it.
That sounds very frustrating!
Oh my gosh yes it is! So much!
So what happens when you’re not making art? What are you doing instead?
I’m not even sure. Oh! Whoa! I don’t really have a plan… or more like I don’t have a schedule. So I just… do my day and then the day is done and I haven’t done the art.
So is that all you need? A schedule that fits at in with your life?
What I really want is to have pieces I can pick up and work on any time. And I want to GO TO ART more often. Oh! I mean, yes I AM DOING THIS already, I’ve been embroidering a snake all over a motorcycle jacket I am sewing. Since the drawing/planning is all done, I can just pick it up and embroider for a few minutes and I do that A LOT. I am almost finished everything I can do without sewing the jacket together. I am so proud of this and can’t wait to finish.
So, the snake jacket is your art? You have been doing it? You're not stuck?
Well, yes and no. I was thinking it was a good project to get my hands back into the feel of embroidery. And a great project as a “having a thing on the go that is easy to pick up and work on” which is a MUST because of my health problems and brain fog right now. But this is a jacket for me, it’s not a part of this body of work I want to create, though it is connected in a way.
This jacket is also a symbol of all the skins I am shedding and the ways I am changing in mid-life. And embodying more of my artist self, and creating this new body of work, is a part of that.
An earlier photo of the snake jacket embroidery in process
That’s amazing! BUT it sounds like just working on the jacket isn’t enough to make you feel satisfied with how you are engaging with your creativity.
BINGO. I want to take everything that is going well with the jacket, and apply it to this new body of work. Which is so hard to do because I don’t know what this new art IS. I am doing experiments.... But I guess I can plan out a big project and then do it like I did with the jacket?
Is that really such a big problem? If you have experiments to do, can you not just focus on doing them for now?
I guess it’s just so much starting and stopping. I would love a BIG project to sink my teeth into. There’s also another aspect to this: having work I can pick up and do with my hands is so important for my mental health. It has to be at the stage where I am not thinking about what to do, just doing repetitive hand sewing. And the motorcycle jacket is almost finished so I'd like other projects at that stage to be ready to go when it's done.
So you need a lot of smaller projects to make sure you don’t run out of projects that are at that stage?
Yes, I guess that’s it.
Can you start a bunch of smaller projects?
Well, this is where my brain just shuts down.
OK let’s explore then. Can you tell me about these projects?
Kind of, but I am so vague. Like I don’t know that much about them… not enough to actually MAKE THEM REAL. I just have this vague idea of the big picture of where I’d like to be doing, the details are not there.
Well that is a part of the creative process. We don't start out already knowing the whole way there. Can you tell me about the experiments you are doing?
I am trying different ways of painting, printing, appliqué and embroidery. I am guess I am trying to figure out the practicalities of how I want to do this. I feel like there is this whole visual language I want to create for this work. This is all besides the specific designs for projects I want to come up with.
Can you make that a project? Creating this new visual language?
My brain feels so twisty. I can’t really hold onto anything about that. I don’t know what that would look like I guess.
Is there another way in you can think of?
Making a list of all of the ideas I have? Maybe a sketchbook? I just have all of these vague ideas floating around in my mind, it's very hard to pull something out.
Can we try that right now?
I wrote out nine different project ideas in a notebook.
But that makes me feel just as stuck! Like, I think I need to get some felt, I’m not sure the cotton I have is the right thing. Can I even start?
Usually if I can't even START, I am thinking too big. I think I need to start small, I don’t know what small is in this case.
OK. So far here’s what we know:
You could use a schedule, like scheduling time specifically to get some projects started
You could use a sketchbook to get your ideas out of your head and be more clear about what you want to make.
You may need to get some felt, if the supplies you have don’t feel right.
I’m starting to feel excited about one of the ideas I put in the sketchbook.
And the "I don't have felt and maybe I need felt" doesn't seem like such an issue - I can just go to Micheals and get a bunch of felt if I do need it.
After that, I just.... made art 
I didn't go buy felt and I didn't start a specific project like I thought I needed to. I went back to the original idea of creating a visual language. I printed and painted a bunch of fabric that I can use for any of my project ideas.
IT FELT AMAZING.
I felt like WHOA I AM DOING IT!!!! Every time my hands touched the fabric I felt THRILLED.
The magic of making art after being creatively blocked for a while.
And while I was printing and painting that fabric...
I noticed how I need so much more structure in my business AND in my art.
BUT not the kinds of structure I have ever had before. And that's why this has been so tricky to figure out.
I have been doing Structure, Habits, Routines. I am still sitting with the questions and feeling into... what do I want the structures, habits and routines of life to FEEL LIKE and what kinds of structures, habits and routines will help me accomplish what I want to accomplish without overwhelm or stretching my capacity?
And I'm becoming more clear about WHY the way I have been planning this year isn't quite working for me.
And starting to get ideas for what to change!
I'm moving SO SLOW with this but also, I am radically changing how I see and work with time, dreams and goals.
This is BIG work. This is important stuff to do at mid-life. I am detaching from old ways of being and doing. I am listening more deeply to what feels true to me now.
I am so deep in the Dream Work and Inner Work, soul and healing. I am not in a place where the Outer Work looks clear and put together AND I SHOULDN'T!!! Because I want to put the Outer Work together in a way that reflects the deep work I am doing in Dream Work and Inner work and... I am not done yet.
So, I could stop judging myself for how slow I am moving 
and instead appreciate how much more deeply ALIGNED WITH MY MEDICINE AND MAGIC my structures, routines and habits will be when I do get this all sorted out.
But re-reading all of this I have to call myself out on something. I wasn't being honest.
The "embroidering a snake on a motorcycle jacket" project has been REALLY smooth sailing this winter but it wasn't easy to start that one either! It looks YEARS to figure out what I was doing with it. I think I bought the fabric and sewing pattern in 2023.
Big projects, with lots of different elements, take time to figure out!
You DO NOT start out already knowing all of the details.
It's a PROCESS.
When you remember that it's a PROCESS then the only goal really is to STAY IN THE PROCESS.
Which, for me, takes so much pressure away from "figuring it all out".
"Trust the process" is more about trusting yourself to STAY in the process long enough to get what you want from it.
Co-Dreaming/Co-Working call is today! I hope to see you there!
We'll start with a short meditation for connecting with the soul of your dream (like the Dream Lab) and then have time for whatever you want to do - planning next week, working on your projects, sharing your updates, talking about something that is stuck with your dreams or just hanging out in the magic of the group.
Call details are here. Replay will be there a few hours after we're done today.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!
PLANNING is a place where a lot of inner stuff can get triggered.
Most dreams need plans. Most plans need to be revised over time. There is a lot of planning and re-planning involved in creative dreaming.
Because our dream is our soul calling us towards our true self, this is all going to be "next level stuff" so we don't start out already knowing HOW.
We're not SUPPOSED TO KNOW HOW!
AND it's just so unsettling to not know how.
So, the planning can be tricky.
Every new moon we do the New Moon Intention Setting Ritual to make space for your soul to show you your path for the next month. We make space to reflect on how that went last month, learn from our process, and apply our learning to how we approach the next month. This can help you make considerable progress over time.
Because my dreams include my business, the Creative Dream Incubator, I also plan out every month more from the Outer Work perspective.
AND I let the New Moon Intention Setting and the Monthly Planning impact each other, they are not separate, just two different ways of supporting myself in doing the things I want to do.
So, this week I am going over April's plan, finishing up what I can, and making May's plan.
As I do this I notice...
A part of me is judging me for not having an ambitious enough plan for April and then also not doing everything on my un-ambitious plan.
* I'm going to put aside my feelings about AMBITION and all the ways it's tied to the dreams that capitalism tries to sell us and how the older I get, the less ambitious I am, and I am very happy about this.
This shame feels heavy and thick in my chest. Clinging to my chest but also dripping down into my belly.
Hey shame, since you’ve shown up in this way I assume you want to talk?
No I don’t want to talk, I want to just be here, shaming you in the background.
Why in the background?
So that I can keep doing this for a long time. I work best in the background.
Is it because, with attention and awareness, you shape shift?
Yes.
And you don’t want to shape shift right now?
No.
Why not?
I want to make you feel bad for what you did.
Why?
So that you never do it again.
Can you be more specific about what you want me to never do again?
Be too unambitious in your goal setting and then fail to meet those too-small goals.
And why are you so upset that I did this?
Because you are holding yourself back, things could be going better for you if you got your shit together.
Having my shit together means setting ambitious goals and then meeting them every time?
Yes.
Do you see the health struggles I’ve had this last month, and even going back to this whole year?
Ummmmrhgh. Ummmm. That makes me feel uncomfortable.
How come?
I don’t want to know about that.
Fair enough, but my health has a HUGE impact on my productivity, you understand that right?
I do! That’s why I don’t want to know. It’s so stressful.
OH. Yeah. I hear that. It’s very stressful.
Good, we agree about something.
We do! But I think you may not understand that… the health issues are here. This is reality. And I am doing what I am within reality. And you, when you want to shame me for these things, are making it so much harder. Like - I just can’t operate the way I do when I DON’T have health issues, when I DO have them. Do you see that?
Oh! I wasn’t seeing that. I think I see it now. Do you mean you wish you were more ambitious and productive?
I think ambitious is something we need to table for now. I do wish I was more productive, I love all of my ideas and want to be acting on them faster but I really honestly absolutely can’t. I am actually trying to look at ways to change my routines and systems and structure and figure out how to do the things I want to do, but I need SUPPORT. Not shaming! Shaming makes everything worse! Don’t you see that?????
Shaming is the only tool I have.
That can’t be true.
Can’t it?
Shame is not a tool. And if you want to talk about being productive then you need to look at what happens when you shame me. It’s not ONCE made me more productive.
No, I guess it usually makes you sad and you move even slower.
Right.
My health is so upsetting to me. And I get so much judgement from the outside world about not being able to keep up. I don’t need it from inside me too!!!!!
Wow, you’re right.
Shame, you really don’t do anything except slow me down and make me feel worse. If you want to help me be more productive then let’s look for SUPPORTIVE and KIND and HELPFUL ways to do that.
I want to do that. I don’t know how. But I want to learn.
That's the kind of work we do in the Un-Sticking Station.
It's natural to have all sorts of uncomfortable emotional reactions to planning and figuring out how to take steps towards our dreams.
Unfortunately, if you don't have a plan for how to face those feelings - you end up putting your dreams aside because that seems like the only way to feel better.
So, membership members - keep the Un-Sticking Station in mind!
And remember that taking the time to sit with these feelings when they come up is actually a SHORTCUT.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!
This image is from the guided journal in the Dream Lab but it captures the feeling of my miracle meditation today.
Showing up consistently to practice creative dreaming is HARD sometimes.
It just is. I am feeling that this morning.
I am doing Project Miracle. I want to do all 30 days of it, no matter how many days it takes me, you know?
It took a LOT of convincing to get me to show up this morning.
I'd love to share that by the time I got into it, the meditation was great and I got a new idea for what to do next and I feel fantastic...
But the meditation was a MESS.
I couldn't get into it.
Each time I could finally BEGIN to do the thing I was supposed to do, my voice came back with the next instruction and I couldn't jump ahead. It felt so chaotic and rushed.
The same meditation that felt peaceful and encouraging last week!
The further I went in the meditation the more aggravated I became.
I was ESPECIALLY aggravated when I got to the part about not judging your process and it's ok if it doesn't feel good.
I got to the end of the meditation feeling disconnected from my miracle and annoyed with myself.
I wrote about my experience in my journal.
I wrote out all the things that annoyed me....
✨✨ ✨
Then I saw how they are connected.
I saw the message.
I saw how last week my Miracle has been saying... slow down with the Outer Work, go deeper into Dream Work. Be more deeply rooted.
I saw how... I didn't take any of that advice in the last 3 days. I was fully intending to focus on that this week, but so far I've just had a lot going on so I kept going full speed ahead.
My miracle is saying SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. Don't wait for an opportunity to slow down - DO THIS. NOW.
And then I felt so grateful for aggravating and chaotic meditation.
Because I see so clearly now where I am choosing things that move me away from what I really want.
I see how it didn't FEEL like a choice to keep moving full speed ahead... but it WAS A choice.
As chaotic as the meditation was for me this morning, it did give me enough space to see that from a different perspective. I saw all these ways I could have done my weekend differently to make more space for what I needed.
Which makes me feel hopeful about this week.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!