Before I jump in - The Art for Earth e-course bundle sale is ending TODAY.
This is a bundle of art e-courses valued at over £2900+ GBP, but - for one more day only - is sold for only £75 GBP! (In USD that's a value of roughly $4,000 for $104)
WHAT YOU ARE FEELING IS NORMAL.
I'm feeling like this needs to be said more often. Like too many of us are feeling all alone in our feelings by feeling WRONG for feeling all the things we're feeling.
You're not wrong.
What you're feeling is normal. All of it. Even the parts that conflict with each other.
Here's what I'm feeling this morning:
- A sense that I call "cognitive shut down" where my brain just CAN NOT
- A wish to feel hopeful for the future
- But then also a feeling that feeling hopeful is dangerous, too vulnerable, and that those hopes will soon be dashed so why bother
- A deeper desire/need to FEEL GOOD AGAIN as my baseline feeling
- Sadness about not feeling good
- Grief about everything I've lost
- Panic about everything I could lose next
- Relief that my husband's health emergency from last week is still serious but not an emergency this week
But I've also had these moments of feeling more creative, peaceful and powerful than I have in a long time.
It can be so confusing to have so many conflicting feelings going on.
But this is what it means to be human.
We live in a culture that teaches us to NOT feel.
But denying our human feelings doesn't dissolve them, they just go underground where they control most of our behaviour, limit our possibilities and just generally do a lot of harm.
And now we're in this time when we can't keep stuffing it all down. There's just too much.
Every breaking point is also a doorway into a new possibility.
That's not just some bullshit thing people say to try to gloss over how hard the breaking point is.
It's the truth.
The degree to which we can be present with the hard parts determines the amount of new possibilities we can receive from the experience.
I mean - it takes work and support and courage. But the opportunity is there.
That's what I am holding onto right now.
I'm grateful for those moments of creativity and clear thinking and feeling peaceful and powerful and like I can do anything. I am using those moments to take care of my business and move important projects forward.
And in the rest of my time, I am resting and making art just for me and reading a lot and also reminding myself that there is an opportunity here.
That "my stuff is up" and I can see it more clearly than ever which means this is an opportunity for healing.
That I can emerge from this difficult time with less of my stuff weighing me down.
Things are hard anyway, why not go on a full on journey through my own underworld and see what I can clean up?