I share my own Creative Dream Alchemy practice on my blog + often link to the tools I use which are only available to Creative Dream Incubator Membership members. If you're not a member, those links will take you to the sign up page to join us!

 

In Creative Dream Alchemy we show up and work with the thing that is there… when you look at your dream and what you want to do - what’s RIGHT THERE in front of you? This is your next step.

For me, today, it’s heavy brain fog.

And then mountains of discouragement because I was out of the brain fog. I was feeling more like myself... And now here I am back here.

And some clouds of fear floating around because what if this is how I feel for the rest of my life???

I started with the Hello Day practice which was really nice! But made it more apparent that I need to be with the brain fog. There isn’t a way to ignore it or work around it, which is what I would rather do.

I cross my arms on my desk and rest my hands down on them and remember doing this in elementary school and how it feels kind of comforting.

It’s also a way to physically acknowledge and embody - my head feels SO HEAVY because this fog is SO DENSE.

And I know... it's time for the Un-Sticking Station.

Brain fog, how do I work with you?

First, get out of the desk! Let’s go lie down on the comfy carpet. Bring your coffee.

(Walking over to the carpet I get this idea - I could fill a whole journal with different parts of me who are stuck, freaking out and afraid right now. Maybe I should do this?)

OK. Laying down. Ready to face the brain fog.

Listen, it’s not worth trying to understand where I came from. You have limited capacity, so use it to figure out how to be WITH me.

That makes sense, I do think I had some energy tangled up in figuring out why you’re here and how long you may stay. I can probably use that energy for other things.

I’m not going to say everything happens for a reason! IT SUCKS THAT I AM HERE. It sucks that you are not feeling like you want to be and can’t do all the things you want to do.

AND

We’ve got to figure out how to work together while I am here.

So, you actually don’t want to push me down, hold me back and make it impossible for me to enjoy my life?

No. That’s not my goal at all.

What is your goal?

I sit with this one for a bit, but it seems like brain fog has no goal. That makes sense.

Do you need something from me?

Acknowledgement. Presence.

Oh. I see. Having brain fog and freaking out about it and trying to act like I don’t have it isn’t a good plan. Having brain fog, accepting that it’s here, and figuring out how to move accordingly is a better plan.

Did I imagine this or did bran fog just lighten up in a little?

I was hoping for some kind of “Oh look! Brain Fog is actually a shortcut to MAGIC!” kind of breakthrough but I don’t think that’s where this is going.

I did a pretty intense program with Dra. Rosales Meza in the fall and I wonder if I am spending all of winter integrating it. Like... is the brain fog just asking me to slow down and give myself space to acclimate to where I am now?

One thing she taught is that overwhelm can be a sign that you are too externally focused, like caught up in colonial/capitalist/patriarchial culture that doesn’t respect you or your needs. So when you notice you are getting overwhelmed, used that as a sign to check in about what you need.

I mean, I am beyond overwhelmed here.

But what do I need?

I did the Hello Day and it felt nice to check in but nothing came to me about what I want or need.

It feels like my dreams are on the other side of the brain fog.

Part of me FREAKS OUT about that. Part of me is like “well of course that’s where they are and of course brain fog won’t last forever, just relax and do some art”.

Ahhhhhh.

And this is where everything kind of tangles really badly for me right now.

Yes I can make art. Yes I can read and rest and enjoy myself.

But there are tasks I want/need (which??) to do in my business, for my business and for my future… and I can’t seem to do them.

Should I just wait until I feel better?

(That question would be easier to understand if I knew what the brain fog is, if it’s a cold that I’ll get over that’s one thing, if it’s how my brain is going to be for the next while, that’s another)

Ugh. This is that place where dreams and reality can collide really hard sometimes.

And as a coach, I would ask myself “Do you absolutely NEED to do these tasks in the next week?” and I would say no I don’t absolutely NEED to but I feel I should.

So then, as a coach, I would want to explore that pressure I am putting on myself to do things when it’s ok if I don’t do them right now AND I don't seem physically able to do them.

But when I say… ok I just won’t think about these tasks right now… then I feel I am letting my future self down, I am dulling down my dreams and I am shrinking my truth.

My coach self just smiles and waits…

And I see it.

Panicking about not taking action, in the outer work, today, is not helpful.

Working with the thing that is right in front of me - even if it’s a super weird non linear meeting with different parts of me that just kind of going in circles and doesn’t (seem to) resolve anything… is actually helpful.

I am doing it.

I am in process.

I can trust myself.

Also, my next step is starting to feel really clear. I need to RE DREAM THE DREAM of what it is I am trying to do. Get into more details of what I REALLY want here.

(These weird Inner Work meetings where nothing seems to resolve ARE HELPFUL! It shifts the energy to sit with the thing even if it doesn't move you all the way over to where you would like to be. Just keep showing up and taking the next step.)

 

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