We had a group coaching call in Dream Book where one person attending (a very accomplished creative entrepreneur actually) said “I mean, what am I even doing?” and I laughed because I saw myself in it.
“What am I even doing?” came up again and again later on in the call as more people shared their stories.
It’s actually REALLY EASY to feel “what am I even doing?” when you are doing your own thing.
It’s natural to feel lost.
It’s natural to think you’re stuck when you’re really just incubating, or resting, or preparing for the next thing in ways your conscious self doesn’t know about yet.
With our dreams, the tangible parts are only about 1/3 of what is actually happening. So if you’re only using tangible, measurable things to measure progress, you are missing most of the picture.
And yet, this is what we do. Myself included!
The week before last I was in that “what am I even doing?” place. At the beginning of the week I was being GRACIOUS with myself and my process. I was MAKING SPACE for how I was actually feeling. I was honouring my energy.
But a few days in I’m all “OK process, wrap it up. I need to be doing something productive here”
But my process did not wrap it up.
In fact, on Friday, the day I did the Holding Space For What’s Next To Emerge class, I had my list of things to catch up on and instead I took 2 naps.
I felt great DURING the class because I always feel great when I connect with people in that way.
But the rest of the day I was still… meh.
And then Saturday I woke up feeling clear-headed and inspired. I rode my bike downtown, got my favourite doughnut for breakfast, and went to my favourite park (which has a TON of seating overlooking the river - it’s actually a bar at night but gorgeous and quiet in the mornings).
I wrote and wrote and wrote. Blog posts, emails, ideas for new projects.
It’s like all week I WAS incubating.
And then when it was time, it was a time. And everything just poured out.
This kind of trusting our creative flow is one of the things we need, if we want to create a new world.
The way our world is run on the Monday-Friday calendar and being productive on a schedule is counter to our actual human nature.
Also, we only have weekends because enough unions fought for them that they became the cultural norm. We can create new cultural norms. This is literally what humans have always done.
Humans created the huge corporations that have become corrupt and are now holding our economic and political systems hostage. They are even holding our entire future hostage by refusing to address climate change in any meaningful way.
We can destroy this and create something new.
We do it all the time.
This fall, my husband and I are going to tear apart the workspace he built for me when we got married. You know the cute one in the background of my videos? It will be GONE.
We’re going to use that wood to build a wall to create a new bedroom in the loft, in the space where my workspace was.
There’s more to this story, which I will share in time.
I just wanted to share - we can tear apart the things we built for A LOT of different reasons. Maybe because they didn’t turn out like we’d hoped. Maybe because time marches on and we change and want something different. Maybe because they turn corrupt and threaten to destroy the world.
We are the creators. We are the ones with the power.
But we need to give ourselves the thing we need in order to access that power:
- Feel your feelings.
- Give yourself space to process your thoughts and ideas.
- Take your dreams seriously and pursue them.
- Be open to the GROWTH and HEALING that your dreams are pushing you towards.
I’m doing all of this every day in Dream Book You are always welcome to join me there.