I share this to normalize that... this is the work. Experiencing BIG CHAOTIC MESSY FEELINGS is a part of the process.
Because your dream will always ask you to do the Inner Work that needs doing... and this is the way in.
And culturally we are taught to avoid the feels at all costs and this keeps us separated from our healing and from our dreams. It keeps us disconnected from our selves and our souls.
So. We had our New Moon Intention Setting ritual yesterday on Zoom (replay is here) and I left with such a solid plan for how to move forward.
I went to bed last night EXCITED to implement this new plan this morning.
And this morning I could not do the thing. At all. Trying to make myself do it gave me a panic attack.
I tried to hold back the tears. I looked for a way to somehow pave over all of this inner chaos and feel how I want to feel and do what I want to do.
AND I knew that wasn't an option.
I decided to honour what I was feeling and make feeling it and being with it my new plan for the morning.
I have this big piece of thick forest green fun fur that I use as a rug. I spread it out on the floor. I made some coffee, toasted a bagel, and I got out my GRIEF ANGER RAGE HOPE 2026 Sketchbook and sat down for an Inner Work Picnic.
I wrote my feelings in paint. I drew a little diagram of how fucked up everything seemed. Even though everything in me wanted to run away from how I was feeling I slowly went deeper into the feeling.
I tried to breathe deep, to make space in my body for all that I was feeling.
I had my laptop with me so I could listen to Un-Sticking meditations (the For When You're Too Upset To Do This) is ideal for this situation.
I looked for ways to offer love, support and healing to the parts of me who were upset.
I felt lost about how to do that so I reminded myself that BEING WITH a thing can transform it. This is the alchemy.
And - it's 11am now. I feel much better.
Have I resolved anything?
Not really.
But I moved through the big feelings of it and I feel calm now.
And I have a new set of questions to sit with.
This is what it means to be IN PROCESS.
