A Conversation With “You’re Doing This Wrong”

"You're doing something wrong. You should be marketing your work in a different way."

This voice is like - not quite at the forefront, but not quite quiet enough that I can't hear it either. This low, rumbling uncomfortable feeling.

So I'm bring it into the Un-Sticking Station (one of the practices we use in Dream Book)

Voice shows up as: a man in a suit with a hat... like Charlie Chaplin style?

So, hi there. I wanted to find out more about why you are saying these things.

He just looks at me. I realise - Charlie Chaplin was a silent movie actor, right? I mean, I don't know that this IS Charlie Chaplin he's just kind of got that style.

So you said that I am doing things wrong, that I should be marketing my work in a different way. I'd like to explore this with you.

Again, he's just staring at me.

I'm feeling very awkward.

Are we not able to have this discussion?

He shrugs.

Do you not want to have the discussion.

OK let's be clear. You don't want a "discussion". You want to change my mind about what I am saying and I won't have it.

Oh, well, no, actually I...

No, YOU no. I know how the Un-Sticking Station works. You are expecting me to transform.

Usually that's how it works, but maybe I need to transform! Honestly, I am willing to listen.

I get the sense he wants a rose, so I offer him a rose.

He holds it, looks into it for a while.

It's just that - you're doing all of these calls and people INSIDE Dream Book can see them all, but for the people OUTSIDE Dream Book they don't really see everything that's happening.

I hear you, and you're right!

I feel like, if people could see all these cool things they may want to join in on them, but your marketing is, and I am sorry if this feels harsh, but it's too haphazard.

Haphazard! That's an interesting word. Right now, I send an email every Sunday, consistently. Sometimes other emails too. Before I was doing the Sunday emails, I was still doing a weekly email. I'm not arguing, I see that this feels haphazard to you and I'd like to understand more.

Well, first of all - what about the people not on your email list? They don't even know what they could be experiencing in Dream Book!

You are completely right there. I'm not sure that they need to know though, because they haven't chosen to try my free classes or sign up for emails, so if they're not that interested in my work, I'm not sure why I would keep telling them about it?

I am saying you could be more clear and consistent about letting people know what you actually offer.

You are completely right. I am making a note of that and I also want to know -what else feels haphazard to you?

You don't have a system or process for how you let people on your email list know about upcoming classes. Or to even explain to them all that you do in Dream Book! It's this amazing magic world and you're leaving it to them to find it.

I mean, I think I am putting myself out there and respecting their sovereignty. But yes I see your point, too. You would like me to have more STRUCTURE in my marketing, is that right?

Yes! God yes. Structure AND strategy. I want you to remember that strategy doesn't mean sleazy! NOT strategy around trying to persuade people, but strategy around being consistent and clear. Having a system/structure in place so you don't have to figure it out each time, too. I think this would make you happier AND make me happier.

Hmmmm. I like what you're saying. Is there anything else?

You've been right in the details of it for so long, you're focusing on what people in inside Dream Book and that's great! I'd like you to take a little time to step back and look at the bigger picture of how people find the Creative Dream Incubator and how they decide to join. I want you to clarify those paths and develop simple routines and structure that fit in with what you're doing inside Dream Book. You can make it easy for YOU to make it easy for the people that Dream Book is for to find it.

OK that is super helpful. This idea that "what I have been doing feels haphazard" - which felt so out of left field when you first said it, is starting to feel true. When I think about doing what you are saying, it feels really good.

I appreciate your advice! I wish you weren't whispering "you're doing it wrong" because that feels hurtful and feels like it's a self esteem/self doubt/"you just do everything wrong" kind of thing when really you had a really helpful idea to bring me.

I'm sorry, I didn't know how else to get your attention.

I guess, now that we've had the discussion, you could say "Hey! This feels haphazard to me!" Maybe you can be the Haphazardness Sensitivity Officer for the Creative Dream Incubator.

Ummmm, I want to be the marketing director.

Oh, yeah that makes sense.

Marketing is love. There are so many people out there that Dream Book is for. And they don't all know it. Sharing your daily posts for a month has been really good, but it's not a clear and consistent path. Since THE WORK ITSELF is so non-linear, your posts are non-linear, so having a path that IS linear would be really helpful.

OK that blew my mind a little. Yes, you are the Marketing Director and we'll work on this together.


Update written the next day:

This felt EXTREMELY RAW. When I wrote it, I felt there was NO WAY I was going to post this on my public blog because this is too vulnerable.

Re-reading it today, I know it's not.

What happened was, a WALL of shame and fear and all sorts of uncomfortable feelings came up around "I am doing it wrong" and "I should have known better"

I did a lot of work on that (you can read that in tomorrow' post - really interesting un-sticking work!)

And now I see: I am doing *exactly* what I set out to do in Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice.

This is literally the assignment from the second call! PRACTICE putting it out there a little more boldly or loudly and see what happens.

When visualizing the path between your work and the people your work is for, zoom in more closely on the part of the path where they are right now to see what is needed.

This is what I am doing.

There are so many reasons why this is just horrifically uncomfortable - again, that's all in tomorrow's post.

But I am doing what I set out to do.

Engaging in a practice helps us GROW into the version of ourselves that knows how to do the thing better than we know right now.

This applies to all dreams, not just business.

Showing up and practicing WILL TEACH YOU and GROW YOU.

In those moments it's easy to feel like you failed, you did something wrong, you should have known better.

But actually - you are doing amazing.

Process all the feelings that come up, and carry on.

A Conversation With \

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