GOOD NEWS: My stepson is home from the hospital!! That was a rough 10.5 weeks and there is still a long road ahead but it's such a relief that he is finally home.
And maybe that is part of why I felt ready to figure out what I want my condo to look like, now that it's mine again.
When Joseph and I separated it was nice to stretch out but I didn't make big changes in terms of how I was using the space. And with a loft there are SO many options.
I was feeling overwhelmed at the thought of figuring out what I want, and catching up on cleaning. And so I didn't do anything. And it started to feel harder to do anything and I kept not doing anything.
And for so many years we had been using the space in a way that worked for ALL OF US and it's a real perspective shift to think of how I even want it to work for JUST ME.
But the big thing that was stopping me from taking action is a common dream problem:
I was too focused on and overwhelmed by thinking of the big picture that I could not see any steps in front of me to take.
I thought I needed new furniture to make this place feel right, but felt stressed about spending money and didn't even know what I wanted, I just knew what I had didn't feel like it was working. So I didn't do anything.
Remember: we are usually WRONG about what our dreams need!!!
I finally gave myself permission to think about new furniture and started dreaming.
This led me to see a whole new way to arrange the "rooms" (My workspace is in the upstairs loft which was designed as a bedroom, so my home is all one big open room downstairs now)
And then I started moving furniture and I can't believe what a huge difference that made.
Once I started, I saw more and more little changes to make.
Now when I walk in here I feel SO HAPPY.
And I am excited to decorate! I don't know that I need new furniture now, I think I want re-cover some things, re-paint sometimes, and get new lamps and accessories.
It fees like I have a good foundation here and can build on it.
This is what happens with all dreams when we take the little steps that are possible to take EVEN/ESPECIALLY WHEN it feels like those little steps won't make enough of a difference to bother.
We need to bother!
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