Theft. Breach of Trust. Recovering from Mistakes.

This is not about stealing ideas, when you copy from others, or when others accuse you of copying them (I did talk about that here).

I wrote this about a situation I am in where I did business with someone, then they took my share of the profits and keep refusing to give them to me.? But really, it’s about any kind of breach of trust.? And it’s about making mistakes and recovering with grace and integrity.

creative journaling
From a page in my journal, kind of reflects how I’m feeling about this.

When something like this happens, it’s tempting to throw all the blame in their direction, but you’ve got to take a look at how YOU got there!

Why did you trust and un-trustworthy person?? What made you say yes to the deal?? Was your intuition trying to push you away from it?

Think back to how you made the decision.? What process did you use to decide?? Have you used this decision-making style in the past and does it normally work for you?? Or is there is a flaw in how you’re making decisions?

Exploring and owning your part in it will help you avoid a situation like this in the future.

It could be that you ignored your intuition because you thought you’d get ______ (easy money, amazing exposure, a huge opportunity, love + acceptance from people you respect, etc).

It could be that your intuition led you right into this because there is something important for you here.

Those are two VERY different scenarios.? And even though the results look the same on the surface, they’re not.

In scenario 1: this is a lesson.? The sooner and better you learn it the sooner you won’t have to keep taking this test.

In scenario 2: this is a gift.? Even if you have to look really hard to find it.

You’ve got to own your part in it, but that does NOT mean that you don’t place the blame where blame is due.

Anyone who steals is a thief.? If someone breaks a promise to you, that is NOT your fault.? That part is not your part to own.

A lot of spiritual people want to focus on forgiveness and karma and not, like, take action.? This is usually done under the guise of being a spiritually evolved person, but it’s really more about being afraid to stand up for yourself and own your power.

I’ve just been sitting with it.? Exploring and owning my part.? I’ve been talking with one other person that I know is in the same boat.? We’re both talking about how we feel as well as exploring practical options for how we want to handle it.

I’ve actually been hoping that, if given some time, this person would give me the money.

Because taking action is uncomfortable.

So I didn’t take action.? I decided to be patient.? I wanted to trust her.

What did I get for my patience?

I still don’t have my money.

But I do have a firmer commitment to myself, to be more careful about who I do business with, and to take action sooner should I find myself in this kind of situation again.

I wrote that part last week and decided not to post it.

It didn’t feel done.? And today I can see why.

What I really want to write about is making mistakes and recovering from them with grace and integrity.

Because that’s the part that is really bothering me about this situation – how she’s handling it and what the long-term impact of this is going to be for her.

Everybody makes mistakes.? Often making a mistake is the only way to learn!? The path of Creative Dreaming is FULL of mistakes, because you’re creating your own path… you can’t create a totally-new totally-unique path already knowing how to do it.? You have to try things to find out how they work.

The only way to not make mistakes is to not do anything that hasn’t been done before.? And Creative Dreamers are too creative for that!

Making a mistake is NOT a problem.

What IS a problem is when you don’t FACE your mistake.? You try to bury it.

You tell yourself (and those you hurt in making the mistake) stories about you as the victim, about how there is nothing you can do.

In time you might even start to believe these bullshit stories.

But a part of you always knows that they’re not true.? You’re not a victim, you’re a creative genius.

There is always a way for you to transform any situation.? But the way to do that is never by avoiding the discomfort of facing up to your actions.

See, I see what is happening for this person who keeps refusing to give me my money.? She’s going deep into denial about her ability to make more money and just pay me (and the others she owes).? She’s sabotaging her own business.? Worst of all, she’s concerned about her mental health.

She’s got layers of guilt and shame and hurt about this in her energy body.? She’s pretending like they’re not there.? She’s not taking responsibility and cleaning up the situation, which means those layers of ick stay with her.

Of course she’s going to be depressed.

Guilt and shame are toxic.

And that is why it’s important to clean up your messes.

As a Creative Dreamer, you CANNOT go on to create your dreams in your world until you clean up those energies.

Admit, at least to yourself, what you actually did.?

Let go of the victim story, let go of the excuses.? Admit what you did without going into those stories.? Own your decision.? It was the best decision you knew to make in the moment.

Be willing to own the consequences.

Don’t try to put them off on other people, that doesn’t even actually work.? In the case of this person who took money from me (and others), to carry on not paying us back through the holiday season is soooo NOT cool.? Borrow money even if you have to use credit cards, have a drastic crazy sale if you have your own business, take on odd jobs, work 18 hours/day – do what you need to do, even if you think you can’t.? This is the consequence of your action.? Own it.

Because then everything lightens up!

Guilt and shame will not stick around after you’ve let go of your stories, owned your decision and cleaned up your mess.

Now you can find the lessons and gifts in the situation.

Now you’re free to go on to create something new.

The longer you go on insisting that you can’t do anything about this or re-telling your victim story about how you had no choice, the longer you stay in that icky energy, cut off from your own creative genius.

You’re better than that.


 

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