Yesterday I spent most of the day in pretty extreme self doubt.
I have lots of tools for this in the membership:
Alchemy Process for Self Doubt
Your Self Doubt Is Not Yours You Deserve To Believe In Yourself (that class is also available outside the membership - here
I used the tools and the self doubt didn’t pull me under like it was threatening to.
But it kept coming back.
The thing that REALLY frustrated me about it was that it felt just like it felt when first I started my business.
FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.
All of that “I don’t think I can really do this” and the enormity of all of the feelings around… not just failing with a business but not being able to do the things I feel called to do and live my life in a way that feels right and all the things that get sparked by that.
The way it feels in my body.
This is a feeling I never want to have again.
And it just… kept coming back.
It amazes me how deeply I want to never have certain feelings, even again. Even though I understand that our feelings are a form of inner knowing, even though I have years and years of experience of finding the gifts in the really hard feelings, even though I couldn’t have the life I have today had I not really faced that self doubt.
Even still. When that feeling comes all I want to do is run from it.
But running away is not creative dreaming.
WRESTLING is creative dreaming.
Being with the part of me who wants to run away. And the part of me who wants to face everything and heal. And the part of me who just wants to be “beyond” self doubt once and for all. And the part of me who doesn’t want to waste time with this and just wants to be making art.
Wrestling with this stuff is SO HARD and it’s easy to feel like you’re failing when you’re in it.
You’re not.
You’re succeeding because you’re wrestling with it.
HAVING self doubt is a sign that you are FAILING TO OBEY YOUR VOICE OF SELF DOUBT and dream within it’s parameters so you never do anything to trigger it.
This is why everyone should be in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership!
Wrestling with your dreams, on your own, is SO hard. We’ve all got so many blind spots working against us.
The membership gives you tools to wrestle more effectively but more important it gives you the support to keep going when you hit the really hard parts.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
