I've been getting A LOT of messages about my current situation of living apart from my husband from people who are admiring my courage for making this brave move.
It didn't feel brave.
It felt necessary and also kind of scary.
That's what a lot of "brave moves" feel like from the inside.
We get to a point where doing nothing starts to cost more than taking the risk.
But we have to remember that courage is a PRACTICE.
I didn't roll out of bed one morning and just make this brave choice.
This is why I write EVERY DAY in my creative mastermind group, to share what I am working with in my practice.
The people in my group know I've been sitting with this stuck place around my living situation and working with it for the last year and a half. I was dreaming of a studio space just for me, but also not feeling right about renting a space nearby and actually not feeling right about ANY of the ideas that were coming to me about how to do this.
I wrestled with it a long time, until I worked through it and then I knew what to do.
Everyone is brave. There is no such thing as one person being braver than another.
It's just - how much have you worked through your internal resistance and self doubt? And how much have you learned about how to set your life up to bolster your courage? How much are you really showing up for yourself and your dreams? How much are you PRACTICING?
And yes of course - how much support do you have for the external obstacles you face? How well resourced are you? There ARE external factors that make brave moves easier for some people. (But that is not a measure of how much courage a person has, that's a measure of how much privilege a person has and what they choose to do with it.)
But we can all work on our courage. To show up as bravely as we can to face the things that we have to face.
And of course we have to recognize that "showing up bravely" is a thing we define for ourselves.
Like - for a person with chronic illness taking a nap is a lot braver than pretending to be ok and "powering through" because the people around you don't understand what your actual needs are.
We don't want to buy into the hustle culture or the patriarchy or capitalism and how they define courage and "brave moves'.
True courage is about honouring ourselves in how we show up for our lives.
When you feel that tug in your heart to be braver about something, that's an invitation to show up more deeply in your practice.
I don't mean to practice COURAGE itself necessarily.
What I did that precipitated this brave move of mine was to practice showing up for my DREAMS.
I believes it's our dreams where everything intersects - our potential and healing and wounds and fears and stuck places and creativity and magic and power and all the things we need to work through in order to be where we want to be. It's all right there.
So working with dreams is a way of working with all of this - your own growth and healing.
As I said - I've had a dream for the last year and a half to find a new living situation. But, when I just listened to my logical mind try to work it out - nothing made sense. Financially and practically and feelings-wise - this dream was just STUCK.
It was embarrassing to keep showing up in my mastermind, sharing how stuck I felt for so long.
But I know that this is the way through.
And my work is to live what I teach.
And one of our principles is that "it takes the time it takes"
In hindsight I can see that this particular solution really wasn't accessible any earlier. But I needed to keep showing up, keep making space for that desire, in order to be so aligned with my dream that I could see it when the opportunity came.
It didn't feel brave.
I don't think it looked brave, to the people in the mastermind who saw me continue to show up no matter how stuck I was. But I did get a lot of feedback that it felt HELPFUL to witness me wrestle with this dream because it helped them feel less alone with the dreams that they are wrestling with.
My point is: Courage is a thing we can grow.
We all have tremendous courage.
And we have all practiced our ways into NOT acting/being as brave as we ARE. This is just a side effect of growing up in this culture.
And we all face different obstacles to making our brave moves and comparing our outer expressions of courage to other people's is not helpful.
But. We can become braver. It's a natural side effect of practicing your way into a deeper connecting with your self. It's a natural side effect of working with your dreams. It's a natural side effect of healing and growing.
And each brave move you take opens up new possibilities for what your next brave move can be.
PS: Join me in Dream Book, my creative mastermind and EPIC support system for practicing your way into your next brave move.
*** If you join THIS WEEK you'll get an invitation to the Partnering With Your Soul of your Business live class, happening next Tuesday (April 13)